The Twenty

I have told this story before about how special we all are, but I really like it and some of you might not have read my blog the day I told this before, so here it is again.  A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

 

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

As I mentioned above, I am retelling this wonderful story, and the first time I posted it, it was a retelling too. I have no idea who first told it - it's been circulating on the internet for some time.  The significant thing is the messages it brings.  We are all special.  We should all count our blessings, and NOT our problems!

what is the color of happiness?

First of all, tell me, are you happy?  Is there something special that makes you happy?  Don't take a lot of time.  There might be several things or perhaps you are just a happy person.  Now, close your eyes for a moment and think of that happiness.  Does a color emerge?  Red?  Pink?  Blue?  What is the color of happiness?

 

Now you may think that I have lost my mind, but there is a point I want to make.  Science might say that there is indeed a happy color.  I say happiness is EVERY color, because happiness is EVERYwhere!  Yeah, we all have bad days and it's certainly normal to feel down sometimes, but even when things are bad, there can be happiness.  Broke but have a family to cook for?  Well happiness can come from knowing how to prepare a wonderful meal for just pennies.  

Have you ever seen a homeless man with a big grin and wondered what he could possibly be happy about?  There are so many reasons to be happy.  So very many.

 

Am I blue?  That usually means depressed.  So blue is a bad color?  No way!  I say they are all good.  Look around you and see all the beauty.  Smile at the abundance of colors.  Be happy.

It's not just about the wallet

Donations make a difference - I've said so for years, but there is more than just money.  Some folks want to contribute but simply can't afford to give money.  Of course, there are clothing drives and toy drives and food bank collections.  These are all ways to give without necessarily dipping into your wallet.  There is also the giving of your time and your talent - a very valuable gift.

 

But wait!  There is more than just the tangible.  The sense of belonging to a cause of joining it and becoming a part of it, is very important.  I personally do fundraising walk-a-thons regularly and one of the big things for me is the getting together with other committed folks.  Sharing information and visibility are important for most any cause.

When you get those emails or phone calls asking you to give, it doesn't have to be about your wallet.  If it is something you are passionate about, there are other ways to make a difference.  These days there are a lot of folks rallying around political causes too.  Whatever rings a bell for you, don't despair that you are unable to give money.  Instead, think of other ways you can do good and get involved.  There is always a way to give back!

Lots of folks will be asking for money on these last months of the year.  Something for us all to think about.

have I got some questions for you!

How are we doing with this blog? When do you read it? Who do you think we should mention here? What kinds of things have we left out? Where might we find more hometown heroes? Why is this even important? When will more folks get involved? How can folks interact here?  Oh, and what about the past two days here?

I prefer writing encouraging things.  It's so nice to tell the positive stories of people making a difference.  Occasionally though I see some bad things that simply must be addressed.  Any thoughts about what I wrote here yesterday and the day before?

Okay, so there are a lot of questions I can ask about this blog. You may have questions of your own. Right under each day's entry is a space that says comments. Write something there. Ask a question or make a comment. I have a never-ending supply of questions, but I certainly don't have all the answers. Perhaps you can help.

There are tons of ways we can give back of course. I humbly offer some suggestions that come to mind or tell you about some folks who have done a stellar job of being a superstar, but I need your help. I would love to know about some of the really positive people you may have encountered. Who is a hero to you? Tell us the what, when, where, and why too!  

Those are my questions for you today.  Remember you can use that comment section to ask questions of me.  

come out come out

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated on October 11, 1988 and has been celebrated on this day every year since. Coming out is a personal experience for members of the LGBTQ+ community and everyone has their own story to tell. Today you may be hearing a number of them.

Most of the “Coming Out” stories we hear seem to focus on white gay men who have an awkward conversation with their family members. Occasionally it's a woman we hear about, but still white. I'd love to hear more stories from our trans and bi sisters and brothers and more from people of color.

The late Harvey Milk once said “How can people change their minds about us if they don’t know who we are?” Indeed. Visibility is important. Milk also said "If every gay person were to come out only to his or her own family, friends, neighbors and fellow workers, within days the entire state would discover that we are not the stereotypes generally assumed."

Support is important. For some people it might not be safe to come out, and we should be supportive of that and also supportive of those who choose to make their reality known.

So, on this National Coming Out Day, I will be listening to the stories (do feel free to share yours in the comments) and hoping for unity and support among and for the LGBTQ+ community.

The purpose of life

What is the purpose of life? Have you ever heard that question asked?  Why are we here?  How should we act?  Should we be ruthless and dishonest and claw our way past others to get the biggest piece of the pie?  What are we expected to do during our lifetime?

You probably already know my answer to the above questions.   I think we are all here to each make a difference for the better. We all should contribute to the common good, but that's just my opinion. 

It would seem that the great essayist, lecturer, and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson agreed. It was he who said “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

What do YOU think is the purpose of life?

Everyone smiles in the same language

I am convinced that there is just not enough happiness in the world. Why? No matter how bad anything is, there is always reason to go on. Things can always get better.

I know. Someone is going to say, "What if the doctor says you have only a few days to live"? Well, doctors can be wrong. I have heard many stories confirming that very fact. I even know a woman who was told just after her 60th birthday, that it would be her last. In fact, she was told she had only a few months to live. That woman is now 93!

We so often have trouble trusting these days. We have difficulty communicating too. Does he speak the same language as I do? Will we understand the meaning of our intentions? All of these things are valid of course, but one thing we seem to overlook. Happiness is easy to spot and easy to understand. Happiness is very easy to spread too. Happy people are more likely to make others happy.

Whatever part of the world you come from - whatever your race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, or eye color, one thing is universal. We all smile in the same language!

Babies Don't Hate

This is a baby. Yes, I know that is obvious, but there are a few other obvious things about babies that I would like to point out.

 

Babies don't hate you because of your skin color and they don't hate you because of your race or your gender identity or your sexual orientation. Babies don't hate you because of your weight or your religion or your sex. Yes, it may be obvious, but in fact babies don't hate you for any reason at all! Do you know why? They don't understand the concept. They don't know how to hate.

 

A wonderful article several years ago titled See Baby Discriminate said that children as young as six months could judge others based on their skin color. Where are they getting these ideas? Who is teaching our children? The answer of course is that we are. We are teaching discrimination. We are teaching hate. We are taking away the innocence of our children.

 

Parents and teachers are not bad. That's not my message here. What I am saying is that babies come into the world without any notion of hate. Let's not give it to them!

Just because

"Why are you doing this?" I heard him ask. "Just because," was her simple reply. "Just because."

You can say you are giving back because you want to change the world or because you want to make a difference. You can say you want to see a smile on the face of others or that you enjoy doing things for people. You can say that random acts of kindness help make things better for all of us and you are simply passing them on. Of course, you don't have to give any reason at all! Just pay it forward .   .   . just because.

Oh, those wonderful kind deeds we do for other people. They sure do brighten up the day!

How many of those just because things can you think of? How about taking an acquaintance to dinner, sponsoring someone in a fundraising walk-a-thon, donating time at a senior center, saying something nice to everyone you meet during your day, or donating blood? What other random acts of kindness can you think of? Add your suggestions in the comments section below.

Remembering Matthew

The Matthew Shepard story has its beginning back on December 1, 1976, when he was born to Judy and Dennis Shepard in Casper, Wyoming. Matthew went to public schools in Casper until his junior year of high school when he moved with his family to Saudi Arabia. It was college that would bring him back to Wyoming and his studies at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. We didn't know Matthew through any of this.

Sadly, it was on the network newscasts that we first heard of a young man who had been tied to a split-rail fence, savagely beaten beyond recognition, and left to die out in the cold. It wasn't until the next day that he was found by a bicyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

As many times as I have heard this story, it is still hard for me to believe that anyone could have this much hate for another human being and do such horrific things as were done to Matthew. His rescuers took him to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, CO where he died from blunt force trauma, his massive severe head injuries, six days later.  In the wee hours of October 12, 1998, Matthew passed away in that hospital, with his parents by his side and an entire world now knowing of this notorious anti-gay hate crime. 

In the past 26 years, more and more people have learned of that dreadful night when Matthew was attacked. Matthew has been depicted in films, television programs, musical works, novels, and plays, and his murder has inspired hate crime legislation, and the formation of organizations designed to fight hate. Judy and Dennis Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his life and to "amplify the story of Matthew Shepard to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people." 

On this October 6th, as I look back at this young life taken, I can't help think of all the hate crimes over the years against LGBTQ+ people.  Hate needs to end.  Nothing good ever comes from hate.  If you would like to know more about the Matthew Shepard Foundation or perhaps make a donation, go to https://www.matthewshepard.org/

Our moms and dads

How many of you have kids? Do you realize how much a parent means to a child? Yes, there are times when both the children and the parents may want to scream, but overall, if it is a good and healthy relationship, there is love and devotion that lasts forever.

It's been twelve years since my mom died and even longer since my father passed away, and I still think of them both and recall with fondness times we spent together. I can remember my mother pushing my sister in her baby buggy with me walking beside her. (I don't remember my own baby buggy days).  I can also recall my dad's last moments in the hospital, and the moment when my mom passed away too.

There are some images that never fade. Sadly, some of us have horrible memories and we wish they would go away. The choice is up to every father and mother though as to how they will be remembered. The world would be such a better place if all moms and dads chose to carefully mold their children into good kids who respected others and who would go on to fondly recall those formative years.

On this Sunday morning I'm thinking of Mom and of how much she enjoyed Sundays.  Think about your parents every day.  Remember them especially on their birthdays and on Mother's Day in May and Father's Day in June, and of course during times like Halloween (oh could I tell you stories about the trick-or-treaters coming to Mom's house), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It is my hope that every parent will be one who is worthy of a celebration and that kids will always be grateful for the love of their parents. Good parenting can have a huge impact!

Sage Advice

Did you ever have a teacher or a friend or perhaps one of your parents or other relative, give you some really great advice? Have you ever given advice to someone else? The wisdom of others is enough for any of us to set goals and to do good.

I think of all my teachers, there was nobody like Lou Ella Gridley.  She didn't give me a specific piece of advice, but her whole manner was certainly inspiring.  Her fifth-grade classroom was a special place and I think Miss Gridley was everyone's favorite teacher, but this is not only about her - it's about being good at what you do.

(A side note - Miss Gridley wrote some books about the area where I grew up.  Folklore of Chenango County and Few Are Left To Know are two of them, and they're both very interesting).

 

I came across this sage advice just the other day:  Whatever you are, be a good one.  Simple and straight to the point, this is something we all can live by.  It reminds me in a way of the United States Army slogan "Be all you can be."

 

This is something we can easily urge others to follow.  Once again, "Whatever you are, be a good one!"

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge

Waking up to the sad news that Dame Patricia Routledge died in her sleep early this morning. We knew her as Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "Bouquet") from the television sitcom Keeping Up Appearances, but she was so much more than that character. It was a month before her 95th birthday that Dame Patricia wrote some very inspiring words, that I'd like to share with you.

“I’ll be turning 95 this coming Monday. In my younger years, I was often filled with worry — worry that I wasn’t quite good enough, that no one would cast me again, that I wouldn’t live up to my mother’s hopes. But these days begin in peace, and end in gratitude.

"My life didn’t quite take shape until my forties. I had worked steadily — on provincial stages, in radio plays, in West End productions — but I often felt adrift, as though I was searching for a home within myself that I hadn’t quite found.

"At 50, I accepted a television role that many would later associate me with — Hyacinth Bucket, of Keeping Up Appearances. I thought it would be a small part in a little series. I never imagined that it would take me into people’s living rooms and hearts around the world. And truthfully, that role taught me to accept my own quirks. It healed something in me.

"At 60, I began learning Italian — not for work, but so I could sing opera in its native language. I also learned how to live alone without feeling lonely. I read poetry aloud each evening, not to perfect my diction, but to quiet my soul.

"At 70, I returned to the Shakespearean stage — something I once believed I had aged out of. But this time, I had nothing to prove. I stood on those boards with stillness, and audiences felt that. I was no longer performing. I was simply being.

"At 80, I took up watercolor painting. I painted flowers from my garden, old hats from my youth, and faces I remembered from the London Underground. Each painting was a quiet memory made visible.

"Now, at 95, I write letters by hand. I’m learning to bake rye bread. I still breathe deeply every morning. I still adore laughter — though I no longer try to make anyone laugh. I love the quiet more than ever.

"I’m writing this to tell you something simple:  Growing older is not the closing act. It can be the most exquisite chapter — if you let yourself bloom again.  Let these years ahead be your "treasure years" You don’t need to be famous. You don’t need to be flawless. You only need to show up — fully — for the life that is still yours.  With love and gentleness,"      — Patricia Routledge

Joyful moments

How much joy do you have in your life? I'm not talking about money or wealth or how many friends you have or how well known you are. I'm talking about genuine bliss. What brings you happiness? Do you even take the time for joy or are you to busy with the kids or the job or trying to impress someone?

I've only lived in this neck of the woods for a few years, so I am frequently discovering new things.  On my daily morning walk, I go in different directions and sometimes encounter small animals, especially rabbits or lizards, or I might see some gorgeous flowers or other plant life. It's amazing. I have found myself smiling at some pretty simple things, even at the window of a newly opened downtown business.

Of course beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder.  What brings joy to one person may not be joyful to others.  Take some time though and enjoy your beauties, wherever and whatever they may be.  Joyful moments seem to be more and more frequent. Want to be happy? Allow yourself to be! That may seem odd, but seriously, take the time. Allow yourself some joyful moments. You deserve it!

are you ready for October?

Where I live, the weather gets a lot cooler this time of year, but there are plenty of chance to warm up in October. Think of the hot apple cider, the cocoa, and how about a nice bowl of jook? We have to wait all the way until the end of the month for Halloween, but the costumes and the parties will take some planning time!

Of course, there is a lot more to the tenth month of the year. This is Down syndrome Awareness Month, Hispanic Heritage Month and Breast Cancer Awareness month. It's also National Bullying Prevention Month, Breastfeeding Awareness Month, National Pharmacy Month, Polish American Heritage Month, Pastor Appreciation Month, and Vegetarian Awareness Month. That's only a very small part of it too. There are tons of opportunities to get involved in things during October and make a difference!

A bunch of food gets promoted this month. Today for example is National Homemade Cookies Day and tomorrow is National Fried Scallops Day. This Sunday is both National Taco Day and National Vodka Day. Now there's a combination! October 8th is National Fluffernutter Day! If you don't know what a fluffernutter is, look it up, and thank me later.

 

Have fun.  Do some great things.  Make a difference.  May this October be a great one for you!

Fear Not

Reading through the Christian Bible, you will find a number of instances where people are going about their everyday activities, and suddenly and angel appears and says "Fear not." Really? Even another person appearing out of the middle of nowhere will startle you. An angel - a supernatural being, would seemingly create more fear. Calm down? No way!

Picture a man, driving with his young son, down a street and going about his everyday activities. Suddenly a police officer appears, and without any warning, shoots the man dead. The community leaders say "fear not," or another version of it. They appeal for calm. Really? A man shot to death in front of witnesses. That image will remain in their brains forever. Calm down? No way!

The amount of hate in the world seems to be rising by the minute. I'm particularly sad about the anti-Black, the anti-gay, the anti-poor, the anti-immigrant, the anti-trans, and the anti-women. (Oh, and there are other groups that are hated too, but you get the idea). There seems to be very little collective will for social justice in this land of "liberty and justice for all." We need to get rid of this hate. Seriously. What good is it? Folks, we created the problem. We criminalized black, brown, trans, and poor people. We looked down on others and said they weren't good enough. We were wrong though. Everyone has merit. We created the problem. We can fix the problem. We need to want to though and we need to do more than urge calm and tell people they have nothing to fear.

Video footage I saw of a man being shot to death, while being held down by a police officer, made me sick to my stomach. We need to hold EVERYONE accountable for murder, especially the ones who are supposedly protecting us from crime. Fear not? How can you not be scared after seeing something like that? Maybe I will be next. Maybe my boss or my friend or my sister will be shot and left to die.

People hold up signs saying Black Lives Matter, but I want to see proof! If any lives matter we need to wake up and end the hate and discrimination. If you agree with me, pick up your phone and call your neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers, and anyone who will listen to you, and urge positive action. Let me be clear about what I am saying here. Our legislators need to pass laws that treat people equally and our courts need to prosecute offenders - ALL offenders, vigorously and to the full extent of the law. We cannot allow any lawlessness. Everyone needs to be accountable. If your senator or congressperson or local leaders cannot or will not work for positive change, then vote them out of office! Did you notice how many of the haters were just re-elected?

Don't forget the Black men killed in so many different places just because of who they were. Don't forget Orlando and the men and women killed in a gay club. Don't forget all who were shot in their schools and churches.  Don't forget all the instances of hate. Nobody should have to live in fear! Let's get going! Let's make a difference! This is our world, and it should not be filled with hate and fear. 

Adapt a shelter animal

Looking for an animal to add to your household?  Consider adopting a shelter animal.  I have written here a number of times about pet adoption, but you really cannot say enough.  It is one of those win-win situations - there are many advantages.  Click HERE for some general information from the Humane Society.

A word or two about shelters (which some refer to as the "pound," short for impoundment).  Animal shelters provide a safe and caring environment until the animal is either reclaimed by its owner or adopted by a new owner.  While we often hear about shelters euthanizing animals (and this does indeed happen in many public shelters when animals are not adopted with a certain time period), most private shelters are run as no-kill shelters.

Animals deserve love and affection though.  Just because they are not going to be euthanized, does not mean they should continue in a shelter.  Yes, they generally are well feed and provided for, but animals deserve more than that.  They deserve love and attention.  In return, they usually GIVE love and attention to their care-givers.

Ask your co-workers.  Talk to your friends.  Do a little reading.  I'm certain that everything you hear about adopting a shelter animal will say the same thing.  It will warm your heart and it will warm theirs too!

At the hospital

Some of you are aware that I volunteer at a local hospital where I live, and I was thinking of that when I got up this morning.  Occasionally I've shared stories here that are not my own, and this is one of those. This has been floating around on the internet, and I have no idea who wrote it, but please read on for a moving tale.
 

"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for endless hours.

"They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, and where they had been on vacation.

 

"Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

 

"The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

 

"One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

 

"Days and weeks passed.

 

"One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

 

"As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

 

"Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall!

 

"The man called the nurse and asked her what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

 

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'"

Great story, huh? As I said, the author of this is unknown. You may have even read it before, but I think it is worth seeing again. I was very moved when I first read this story, and I hope it touches you as well.  Do share this with others too. That's what encouragement is all about.

Be the spark

I love it when folks post encouraging things on social media. Encouraging others, I think actually encourages ourselves. Sometimes I read a long and very profound message, and other times it is short and to the point. ("Be Kind"). There always seem to be more encouraging messages around the holidays and especially as the new year begins.  How about now though?  I think we can all use some encouragement in the summer too.

This morning as I looked at my X feed, this jumped out at me: "All it takes is a single spark to build a fire. Commit to being that spark in your community and make a difference." Wow! I couldn't have said it any better.  That's the kind of encouragement I'm talking about.

 

Be the spark.  Isn't that what we talk about here every day - being the spark? More and more I see folks agreeing, and I think this world is getting better each day!  Let's all keep encouraging each other.  Let's all keep making a difference!

Go ahead. Make my day.

Do you feel like changing the world? Maybe you'd like to give some gratitude? Show some love? Be nice? Thank someone? Make a difference? Bring a little joy? How about encouraging others? Celebrating life? Perhaps doing all of these? Go ahead. Make my day!  

You may be aware that in addition to what I write here each morning, I also write a blog about kindness. It's short. Sometimes it's just a sentence or two, but it encourages me to be a kinder person, and hopefully along the way it has encouraged some of you. Sometimes I simply list some random acts of kindness that you just might want to borrow. This morning, I decided to list a whole bunch of them here. Use them as often as you like!

Make a point of finding the name of a supermarket or drugstore employee and then praise him/her through that company’s corporate office.

Tell your boss that you think he/she does a good job.

Help folks stay connected during this pandemic by making frequent phone calls.

When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.

Send a gift anonymously to a friend.

Tell your parents/children why you love them.

Volunteer somewhere.

Share your smile generously.

Transport someone who can’t drive.

Make telephone calls in support of equality urging others to put aside hate.

Pay a compliment at least once a day.

Give public testimony about an important civic matter.

Go through your closets and find several nice items and then donate them to a shelter.

Give your full attention to someone in need and simply listen.

Say nice things randomly to facebook and twitter friends.

Buy small bottles of hand sanitizer and randomly hand them out to strangers on the street.

Clean graffiti from neighborhood walls and buildings.

Tell a bus or taxi driver how much you appreciate their driving.

Give another driver your parking spot.

If you prefer, please feel free to make up some of your own! You might want to even tell us about some ideas you have - they are most certainly welcome in the comments section below!

You want an award?

Those favorites who entertain us are rewarded with Tonys, Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, Golden Globes, and other recognition.  We give awards to our students in school.  Some jobs give special praise to employees.  How about the masses of society?  I think we need one more big award for those everyday people among us who truly make a difference in our world.

The architect who designed your workplace might have incredible skills, but does the general public hear about it?  How about your daughter's third grade teacher?  The person who served you those fries and burgers at your favorite fast food place might be incredible, but does he get acknowledged for it?  During this pandemic there are many people who are stepping up and doing amazing things, but are we hearing about them?

I love how some television stations do hometown heroes features, but I'm not talking about just those who rise to that level.  I'm thinking more of the "best waitress I have ever been served by" or the preeminent delivery driver or the unrivaled parking lot attendant.  There are people in this world who make a difference every day by simply being outstanding at the work they do and the way they interact with others.  Don't you think that is award worthy?

In times of personal crisis

One of the most rewarding things I do is volunteer at a local hospital.  I know this blog is NOT about me, but I simply must share how good the volunteer experience is.  I see men and women from their teen years up into their senior years (there was actually a women in her mid 90s volunteering until recently) doing all sorts of tasks around the hospital.

 

Occasionally I have encountered visitors or patients crying in the hospital hallways.  The other day I saw a familiar face, a lady I have run into several times.  The very first time I saw her she asked for a hug.  Now she tells people I'm a good hugger.  This time she had tears.  Her husband is nearing the end of his life.  I listened.  I wish I could have done more.  Sometimes just quietly listening is helpful.  I saw her again a few hours later.  She was smiling,  Her husband was going home that day and the doctor had referred them to a hospice program.  I listened to her news and then we hugged again.

 

There are happy moments, like when someone is healed from injury or when a new baby is born, but all too often I meet people in times of personal crisis.  I try to help as best I can, but there are times when I don't think I have done enough.  We have a small gift shop that is staffed by volunteers.  Information is given to visitors at the front desk and at other locations by volunteers.  The other day a doctor stopped me in a hall just to say thanks.  He told me he is grateful for volunteers and all the things we do.  It's true that we do many tasks all around the hospital, but I really like being in the hallways, whether transporting a patient to be discharged, hearing a compliment from a physician, or giving a hug to a worried wife.

 

Hospitals can be difficult places, but I will keep volunteering.  I think volunteers make a difference.  It's not just what we give.  We also get such a good feeling back!

That's beautiful!

Did you ever look out your car window and say "That's beautiful!"? How about taking a walk through the community where you live and you stumble across a scene that moves you because it's just lovely?  The "beautiful" here in this picture is from the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, not far from where I once lived.

Here in Arizona where I live now, there is a lot of beauty too.  Even in the wide-open desert there is beauty.  I seem to see beauty everywhere I go.  It's not just on the ground or in the sky.

Beauty can be on the buildings and even on the clothing that people are wearing, and lest we forget, beauty can be within the people we encounter, too (even when we are wearing masks).  It's actually very rare to find a person who does not have beauty within.  You don't have to even look hard - just open your eyes and open your heart.

If we all take a moment to see the beauty that is all around us, I very certain we will realize how beautiful this great world of ours is!

Be a blessing

We can all make a difference in the lives of those around us.  Let's get with it!  Don't hesitate!  Today will never come again.  We really shouldn't put things off.  Be a blessing.  Encourage others.  Be a friend.  Smile.  Share the love.  Take the time to care.  Make someone feel special.

Imagine how much good you can do just by caring!  Imagine.  It's doesn't need to take a lot of time.  It just takes an open heart.

During this summer, in the midst of a lot of bad news, we can still be a blessing to each other.  Things are never too bad for us to do good.  I won't sugar-coat it and say everything will be back to normal soon (although things have obviously improved from a year ago). great right away, but if we all pitch in and do good, we will see a difference. We might not ever see things the way they once were, but that does not mean things won't be good.  Let's make it so.

If every single one of us did something encouraging every day, the positive changes would be incredible!  Being a friend is one of the most powerful things we can ever do.  Starting off a brand-new month, let's all resolve to make this world a happier and healthier place in which to live.

Five

I've always tried to look at the good there is in my life instead of dwelling on the occasional bumps that might come along.  Some folks will let their bad days get them down, but no matter what might have gone wrong in your life, there are certainly things going right as well.  Think about it.

Recently, a friend of mine inspired me to count five things I am grateful for every night before I go to bed.   Now five might seem like a big number to you, but as I reflect each evening, I find that it is actually very small.  My cousin told me she has started a gratitude journal and tries to write one thing she is grateful for every day. She tells me it helps her stay positive. 

Each day I easily think of many more than five and have to actually move away to other thoughts.  There are just so many blessings in my life, including friends, family, things done, foods eaten, words heard or read, things seen, places visited, and so much more.

Had a bad day lately?  I invite you to think instead about the good - you know there is some good.  In fact, I invite you to think of five things as well.  Some days it may be harder than others.  Did you have a good meal or spend time with a favorite person?  Did you receive a gift or read an inspiring story?  Did you fall in love or meet an admired hero?  Think about it tonight.  Think about five.

Strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate?

Listening to a talk show the other day, I heard a well-meaning person several times speak of "lifestyle" and "sexual preference" when talking about lesbians and gays. Well, after the smoke came out of my ears, I realized it was time to do one of those "educational" posts.

First off, it is NOT a preference! Let me give you an example of preference. Some people eat vanilla ice cream. Some like chocolate better. My favorite happens to be strawberry. Of course I will eat any of those flavors. I love ice cream. What we are talking about here though is a preference. I prefer strawberry. It is my personal preference.

Now when it comes to dating men or dating women, this is NOT a preference matter. I do not simply like one better than the other. Oh no! I am ONLY attracted in a sexual and in a romantic way to men. I am gay. It is my orientation, NOT my preference. It's also not a lifestyle choice. You don't wake up one morning and say "I'm going to wear the gay outfit today."

Now I am sure that someone may disagree with all of this, so I ask as I always do for your comments below. I'd love to know if anyone agrees. From where I sit though there is a big difference and saying sexual preference suggests what we make a choice, when in fact our orientation was predetermined and was not our choice. So, what do YOU think? Any thoughts?

What's on your mind?

What is on your mine these days?  I sit down every single morning and write something here but seldom hear any comments or suggestions.  Perhaps nobody is reading this anymore.  

There is a lot happening in our world and on this Monday morning I see so many stories in the news that make me sad.  Bad things are happening all around.  There is still good reason to be happy, because the world is NOT all bad.  There are still good things and we still have heroes out there.

Help me brighten the world by sharing some of that good.  Tell us some of the positive experiences that you have recently had.  Tell us about the people in your life who are doing good things and helping to make this a better world.

On know there is a lot of good.  I'm certain of it!  Come on!  What's on your mind?

crumpled paper

You may recall this story. I've told it here before, but I really like it. It is a story that has been told and retold over the years. It's about a teacher who was telling her class about bullying and gave them an exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up, but not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they are sorry.

 

Okay, that may seem rather odd - talking to a piece of paper, but think of the deeper meaning here.  Sometimes a child who is bullied will later receive apologies, but the damage has already been done. In this exercise, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child - they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.

Bullying isn't just done by kids of course and it isn't somehow worse in some cases than in others.  ALL bullying is bad.  ALL bullying hurts and damages another person.  ALL bullying needs to stop.  We have heard a lot in recent years about the bullying of gay kids, but let me be clear. While gay kids are so often the targets of bullies, ALL bullying is bad. We need to get rid of it ALL.  Even when it comes from famous people or from elected officials.

I have been writing here for just over sixteen years and often speak out about bullying.  Have my words made a difference?  The kids in that classroom certainly learned an important lesson. The looks on the faces of the children told their teacher that the message had indeed hit home. I hope this hits home with all of you too.  What can we all do to help end the bullying?   

Is there anything more wonderful than a hug?

Let me ask you a question.  Is there anything more wonderful than a hug?  Two people put their arms around one another and closely hold each other.  Sometimes it's quick and sometimes each holds on a long time.  It feels good.  It gives you a sense of security.

 

Mom always loved hugging, and she was especially happy when she met someone who was comfortable giving a nice big bear hug.  I guess I follow in her footsteps, because I sure love a nice big hug too!  Who doesn't?  A nice a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give you a big lift!

At the hospital where I volunteer, a woman said the other day "I could sure use a hug."  You should have seen the smile on her face when I turned around and gave her one!

 

I read once that a sincere hug that lasts longer than twenty seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of both the giver and receiver. Sorry, but I don't recall the source of that, but even if it isn't accurate, hugging feels good and who can argue with that?

Resuced!

Today it's going to be a story I have shared here before.  It's one of those tales that has circulated on the internet.  Is it true?  I have no idea.  The author is also unknown.  The message is powerful though, so read on!

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Dr King said

We all know that The Rev Dr Martin Luther King, Jr was a very wise leader who is often quoted. I have certainly quoted his wise words here many times over the years.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  It's one of his most quoted statements, and one of my favorites.  Truly this world can use more light and more love!  I really am sick and tired of all the hate, but like Dr King I believe things will get better if we all unite.

By the way, this is one of my favorite quotes of all time.  Think about it as you go through your day.  If you are a particular fan of Dr King, you might also like "Thou, Dear God": Prayers That Open Hearts and Spirits Collection of Dr. King's prayers. (2011), edited by Dr Lewis Baldwin.

good

The world is full of good. I know that sometimes it's very hard to believe that, but despite the continuing pandemic, and all the train wrecks and earthquakes and gang shoot outs and the war, and despite all the prejudice and hate crimes and negativity, there are still some marvelous things happening out there.

Now don't get me wrong.  I don't walk around with blinders on, and I don't think everything is wonderful.  I do think that everything should be wonderful, and I do think that if we all work at it we can make some wonderful changes for the better.  I've been saying that here for years!

Just this morning while I was drinking my coffee, I read about a school program that a student began and which will help many impoverished people. Ellen's talk show used to give me daily examples.  (I miss her).  I am privileged to know a number of people who are always doing fundraisers for charity or who are volunteer for this cause or that.  Many wonderful folks will be participating in AIDS Walk this weekend.  Yes, we can always use more, but don't lose sight of what is already out there.

 

Have you some particular examples of good you would like to share with us?  I'd love to hear some stories that we might not otherwise hear.  Please add your own examples of good in the comments below. 

Lucie's memories

Lucie Arnaz, the talented daughter of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz is one of my favorite people is. I said so the other day on social media. Oh I have never met her, and haven't even had the pleasure of seeing her perform in person, but there is something extra special that I love. Lucie keeps memories alive. 

Most of us are proud of our parents and perhaps other family members, but with Lucie there is more.  She shares her personal memories of Mom and Dad and brother Desi Arnaz, Jr and of countless friends she has made over the years.  For a number of years she served on the board of the Lucille Ball-Desi Arnaz Center in Jamestown, New York.  I was especially pleased to see her talk about Billy Hinsche upon his death. (Billy, who died last fall,  played with her brother in the band Dino, Desi, and Billy).

Lucie doesn't just tell us about famous people and help keep their memories alive, she also speaks about living events, ideas, and about special places like The Purple Room in Palm Springs.  It's wonderful the way she speaks her mind and shares her thoughts and memories.

She is loved for so much more than her memories of course.  Talent obviously runs in the family because you will always enjoy a Lucie Arnaz performance.  For me though, it's those special memories that she shares.

Recognition

Some wonderful words from Harry S. Truman have great meaning for me. “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.” Now don't get me wrong, the awards and plaques, and certificates of recognition that are sometimes given to people who are making a real difference in our world are quite wonderful!  People SHOULD be recognized.  If you aren't thinking about that though - if recognition is not the reason you are doing something, it seems that you will be so much more successful.

In all my years I had never received any awards or recognition of any kind, until very recently.  I know that when people have complimented me on this blog I have been a little embarrassed.  I am who I am and I want to change the world, and this is part of how I do it - or at least try to do it.  Recognition is really not a part of the picture.

I do love to recognize others for their accomplishments, and I always urge organizations to salute those who do super things.  Formal recognition can serve as an encouragement for many.  So, my friends, when you see someone doing something great, let they know they are appreciated.  Encourage others to do the same!

Remembering

It has been 24 years since our country changed forever following the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the selfless acts of the brave souls on United Flight 93 which prevented another assault on Washington, D.C. The memories of that fateful day will always remain vivid in our minds and hearts.

On the morning of September 11, 2001, nineteen terrorists hijacked four commercial airplanes, two of which were flown into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center in New York, a third into the Pentagon, and a fourth plane crashed in a rural Pennsylvania field during a passenger revolt. 

Today, we pause to honor the memory of those we lost, pay tribute to the resiliency of survivors, and extend our gratitude to the courageous members of the military, police, fire, and healthcare professionals who responded on that tragic day and have continued their unwavering service for nearly a quarter of a century. Heroes, all of them. The impact of 9/11 will forever be etched in our memory, a testament to the spirit of our nation.

There are many who were not alive back then in 2001 and so it is so important that we teach the new generations of what happened and work to see that nothing like this ever happens again. Just yesterday there were more hateful shootings. Let us remember our past and all resolve to put an end to hate.

Preventing Suicide

We hear about the death of a favorite performer and then hear that they died at their own hand. A friend or relative dies suddenly and there are whispers that he took his life, but shh don't talk about it. Well we need to talk about it and that is what today is about.

Every September, the month is used to focus on prevention and awareness and World Suicide Prevention Day is a special awareness day observed on September 10th every year. It should not just be when a friend or famous person dies. We need to remember that it can happen any time to any person. Males make up 50% of the population but nearly 80% of suicides.

Life is precious. We need to put an end to suicide. We CAN do it. Putting an end to hate and bullying is a great place to start. Openly talking about our feelings is important too. Nobody should ever feel like they are alone. Reach out. Be present. Get involved. Talk to professionals. I also invite you to go to https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/playbook/ for some excellent resources.

Arizona sunrise

If you read this regularly, you know I haven't always lived in Arizona and I still have not gotten used to all the breathtaking views. Lovely images of nature's beauty seem to be just about anywhere you look. It's especially nice at this time of year watching the sun come up just as I finish my morning jog.

When you live in a big city, there's a different kind of beauty - sometimes it's manmade. I loved running past shop windows or urban parks at the start of day back in San Francisco. I can recall the lovely sights from my Upstate New York childhood too. It's everywhere. Enjoy the views that brighten our days.

One of the really cool things is that we don't all have the same view. Even within one town, there are going to be differences depending on which direction you are going or the street you are on. Trees might block part of your view, but look down and discover the flowers or look the other way and perhaps there are some birds. After living in the city most of my life, I was really surprised at the animal life I have discovered here, including all kinds of birds, all sizes of lizards, and cute hopping rabbits. (Oh and there are snakes too, but that's when I prefer to look the other way).

The Arizona sunrise was gorgeous this morning.  At this time of year the temperature is perfect too, so I just might go out and explore some more of the views! Have a wonderful day. Enjoy the scenery wherever you are.

Question Day

Have I got some questions for you! Yes, I know I often ask questions, but much of the time they are rhetorical. Today's questions are not for effect. I actually hope you will answer them in the comments section below.

First, have you read this blog before? Do you come back often or just every now and then? Has anything I have ever written here rung a bell for you? Did you ever want to share my words? If YOU were the writer of this blog, how would it be different? (I am actually looking for some good suggestions, so please be honest).

One more: I write here about making a difference in the world. Give a suggestion of something that most of us can do that would indeed make a difference. Is this something that you have actually done yourself or seen someone do?  Thanks!

Pollyanna?

To say that I am too Pollyanna, as some have, is not only insulting, but also inaccurate. The heroine of Eleanor H. Porter's famous 1913 novel "Pollyanna," was indeed an optimist and probably a bit too much of one. I am optimistic, but also realistic. I believe in good but know that life is not always sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.  

There is something else here though - usually we think of Pollyanna as someone who considers themselves better than others, and with me, that is certainly not the case.  I never seek fame or attention.  I don't try to set myself as an authority.  My suggestions here each day are just that and seldom (this being one of those rare occasions) do I even talk about myself here.  This is NOT about me.

This is about all of us though.  ALL of us.  This is about making a bright future.  This is about caring.  This is about change.  This is about love and respect.  This is about justice and equality.  This is about making a difference in our world.  We all have the power to do this and we can me reasonably optimistic that positive things are going to happen.  Optimism is not a bad thing.  Working for good - working for sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, can never be a bad thing.

Perhaps we are all a bit Pollyanna, or want to be.  The important thing is to never give up and to always strive for the good that we deserve and that is certainly there, if we let it be.