Flowerful days

Who can look at a colorful bunch of flowers and not be happy?  There is something very cheery about the image whether it is in a cut floral arrangement or a garden in back of our house or a pretty planting by the side of the street we are walking on.  Flowers are happy images.

 

I'll bet you cannot tell me every place where there is a flower between your home and your workplace.  Can you think where the closest garden is to where you are right now?  How about a florist - do you know where there is one?  Even our parks are places where there are beautiful flowers and plants for us to enjoy.

 

If you are at a reception or at a church service or at a funeral or a wedding, do you notice the flowers that might be around you?  People place them there for a reason.  Flowers brighten up our lives!  Take notice of them and be happy.

Smile, what's the use of crying?

One of my favorite song lyrics says "Smile, what's the use of crying?"  Indeed.  Charles Chaplin, John Turner, and Geoffrey Parsons gave us something very special in that song they wrote.  I can almost hear it right now.  I love Petula Clark's version, and even Michael Jackson's,  but the best known of course is from Nat King Cole.

Song lyrics can change our mood, and so it's those happy words that I want to hear the most of!  Our little road trip from San Francisco has features a lot of happy songs and a lot of singing.  I'm even getting a little hoarse. (Chaplin, by the way did the music and the words came from Turner and Parsons).  You certainly can't go wrong when the title is Smile!  Smiling is just about the happiest thing a person can do! 

The last three simple lines of that song really say it so well! 
 

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

Canada Day

July begins each year with our friends to the north celebrating the beginning of Canada. It was on July 1, 1867 that the British North America Act (known today as the Constitution Act, 1867) created Canada. It was originally Dominion Day, but on October 27, 1982, July 1, "Dominion Day" officially became Canada Day.

Canada has ten provinces and three territories extending from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean and northward into the Arctic Ocean. It is the world's second-largest country by total area,

On July fourth we celebrate American Independence Day but today let us pause for a moment and celebrate with our Canadian friends.  They are not a part of the United States and never have been.  The have a wonderful rich history of their own.

Hear the band

One thing I always love about parades in San Francisco is The San Francisco Pride Band, formerly the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band. founded by Jon Sims back in 1978, they were the first openly gay musical organization in the world.

For nearly ten years, Michael J. Wong has been Artistic Director for both the Marching and Pep Bands. Watch him sometime. You can see right away that he is having a good time.

Back in 2018, the San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to officially designate them as "the official band of the City and County of San Francisco." That's pretty impressive.

There's nothing like the sound of a marching band, as far as I'm concerned, and these performers are extra special. I was not able to be present at yesterday's San Francisco parade, but I watched he television coverage, and the moment I saw Michael marching up Market Street, I got tears in my eyes.  Thanks for always making a positive difference and Happy Pride!

Before the Parade Passes By

LGBTQ Pride Parades will be happening many places today, including San Francisco where I participated for so many years. Before the parade passes by though I want to say a few more things about LGBTQ history and all of these events.

All this month I have broken from writing about various ways we can make a difference and I have focused on the many people and events that have helped improve conditions and promote equality for our LGBTQ sisters and brothers. There are so many more stories that can be told. I'd like to invite you once again to share your own stories in the comments section below.

I world is a better place and so many good people have done good things, but we still have a long way to go. People should feel safe wherever they are and at all times, not just at celebrations one month out of the year. Together, we can make the world a better place. Let's always stand against hate.

Oh, and about those parades, there was a time when there would be little media coverage. Today many of the parades are being televised live! I will be watching the San Francisco parade because I simply HAVE TO see and hear The San Francisco Pride Band. (More on them tomorrow).

Remembering Wilson

The name Wilson F. Fang might not be a familiar one to you, but it will always mean a lot to me. Reader's Digest magazine used to have a regular feature where folks wrote about the most unforgettable character in their lives.   I've said this before, and it continues to be true - that person for me is Wilson.  It's been almost ten years since he died, and I still think about him all the time.

I have fond memories of Wilson during LGBTQ+ Pride Months in the past and especially good memories on this date.  Today would have been his 52st birthday.  

Wilson was active in San Francisco's Castro LGBTQ+ community, Gay Asian Pacific Alliance, and held the title of Mr. GAPA 2005.  He was the kind of person you immediately felt comfortable with.  I've been participating in AIDS Walk San Francisco from the beginning and Wilson would sponsor me every year.  I only knew him for about twenty years, but such wonderful years!  I remember sitting one night talking with him for hours at a now defunct restaurant.  

Wilson also loved to travel, and he generously shared pictures and stories of his adventures.  His warmth and kindness will always be remembered.

Happy birthday in heaven dear Wilson.  Thank you for the times we shared.  I'm sure you are showing your kindness now to the angels.

Oh my!

We knew him first as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, but we have come to know him as so much more. George Takei is also a very outspoken activist who is paving the way for LGBTQ+ generations yet to come. When I watched him on the bridge during those Star Trek episodes, I had no idea George was a gay man, but now the whole world knows and is proud.

Most people might know him largely from his voice work and his acting, including a classic Twilight Zone episode, an old Perry Mason, and his legacy project, the more recent musical Allegiance.  I really like his activism though and all the things he is accomplishing now as an openly gay married man.  With husband Brad by his side, he really is going where no man has gone before.

Now about that whole "oh my!" thing. I love that he says it, but so do I and I've been saying it since I was in high school. No, I didn't copy George Takei. I'd never heard of him back when I first said it.

I remember the first time I met him. Kind, polite, and warm. I don't easily say that about many celebrities. It was at an LGBTQ event, and we didn't have time for much conversation, but I've seen a lot of him in public, including his famous facebook posts, and I can easily say he is making a positive difference.  He seemed like the perfect person to end the month with.

Happy Pride!

We Do

When I first began writing this blog, same-sex couples could only marry in five countries and one US state (Massachusetts).  The Netherlands had been the first country in 2001 and parts of Canada followed in the next years, finally making it nationwide in 2005.  Although California had tried several times, obstacles kept coming up. 

In 2004, the Mayor of San Francisco ordered marriage licenses be issued to same-sex couples whenever they applied.  The state Supreme Court issued a stay, but before the court stepped in, 4,037 same-sex couples were issued marriage licenses in San Francisco County.  During the same period, 103 were issued to opposite-sex couples.  Clearly there was an interest.

Over the years, I wrote here about marriage equality, and I showed progress and laws changed in other countries and here in the United States. The fifty states each have separate laws regarding marriage, but all must adhere to rulings by the United States Supreme Court that recognize marriage as a fundamental right. It was a long road, state by state, but now same-sex marriage is legal in all fifty states.  It was ten years ago on this date that the high court made it so.

The month of June has always been a popular month for wedding ceremonies, but it has grown even more popular with many lesbian and gay couples choosing June because it is LGBTQ+ Pride Month.  

Sadly, there are still many places where there is not marriage equality.  There is still a lot of work to be done.

Wonderful Tita Aida

Way back in the 90s, I had the great pleasure of first working with Nikki Calma, better known to most as Tita Aida. There are so many incredible things I could write about her: her activism, her wonderful smile, the energy that never seems to run out, her willingness to give back and make a difference. Oh my!

Back when I first met her, she was her working with the Asian AIDS Project in San Francisco, which later became the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center and now known as San Francisco Community Health Center. (That organization quickly became one of my favorites, by the way).

She has taken on leadership roles at the API Pride Pavilion and Stage at San Francisco Pride and has also served on the Pride Board of Directors. She also lends her incredible talent as a performer to emcee portions of these events. The annual GAPA Runway is another place where you will find her behind the microphone.

Tita has been a leader for Trans March SF (which takes place each year during Pride Weekend) and for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. She has hosted numerous community events and fundraisers. Everything she does is with style and charm. Pretty much everyone in San Francisco is glad that Tita Aida came their way. I am especially pleased that Nikki will be honored next weekend as a special Lifetime Achievement grand marshal at the 55th San Francisco Pride Parade.

Seldom do I write here about people I actually know, but I should have written about this wonderful person long ago.  I not only know this person, but am proud to call her a friend!

The man behind the Quilt

If you know about The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, the man you can thank for it is Cleve Jones.  Along with Marcus Conant, Frank Jacobson and Richard Keller, Jones also created the Kaposi's Sarcoma Research and Education Foundation, which later became the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The tv program you enjoyed a few years ago, showing LGBTQ history (When We Rise), was based on a book by Jones "When We Rise: My Life in the Movement."

Close friends over the years with the late rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker, Cleve Jones might not be a name you recognize, and his face might not be familiar, but he has been an LGBTQ and HIV activist most of his life.  The stories he has are a powerful picture of how far we have come.  Cleve Jones knew Harvey Milk, and the seeds of activism were probably planted back then.  He has been a giant in the lgbtq community ever since.  In addition, Cleve has been a Community and Political Coordinator with a major hospitality workers’ labor union.

Cleve Jones is not someone I know well - I used to see him at events or walking around the neighborhood back when I lived in San Francisco, but I certainly respect and admire all he has done, and so am pleased to mention him here during Pride Month.

With over 48,000 3’ x 6’ panels, the story of The Quilt, is a fascinating one too. You can learn more about it, and even donate in support, at http://www.aidsquilt.org/  

Rise

This 31-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years. His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought-after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed. Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation. Justin was one of those who was harassed. Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow, he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone.

I haven't actually met Justin, but I sure would like to. He gives back and makes a difference and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work. He inspires me every single day, especially with his Letters By Justin where he personally writes encouraging messages.

 

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at http://www.riseagainstbullying.ca/ (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

Randy was first

Back in the late 70s, when I lived in San Francisco, I met a television reporter named Randy Shilts.  A major magazine in a brief mention, said he was the first openly gay television news reporter.  I remember saying to him, "I've always been openly gay, so what made you the first?"  Regardless of who was actually first, Randy was covering things that nobody else was. 

After leaving the public tv station where he had been working, Randy went on to the major local newspaper, where he again paid more attention to lgbt issues, than any other reporter.  Books followed.  He gave us only three, but three important ones:  Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the US Military, And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, and The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

He wanted to write more.  Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church was to have been examined in his next book, but AIDS claimed his life at the young age of 42, before he was able to get to that.

I've written here about Randy Shilts before, and you may think it odd that I bring him up so much.  We knew each other, but never became close.  Randy made a difference though.  He brought us news we needed to hear.  He talked about HIV/AIDS when nobody else was.  Although there is some controversy, especially when he called for the closure of gay bathhouses, Randy continued to dig up the facts and report them to us.  He might not be recognized by everyone, but I am thrilled that he was one of the first to receive a plaque on San Francisco's Rainbow Honor Walk.

Thanks for the reports and for the books Randy.  Thanks for making a difference!

Time For Change

Since I began writing this in 2008, there have been some improvements in our world. Things are much better for our LGBTQ+ community. Marriage equality in the United States has been a huge step forward.

California voters approve Proposition 8, making same-sex marriage in California illegal, but then Chief Judge Vaughn Walker ruled that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional. The next year, President Obama said his administration would no longer defend the Defense of Marriage Act, which banned the recognition of same-sex marriage. Then in 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states.

In 2009, The Matthew Shepard Act expanded the 1969 U.S. Federal Hate Crime Law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability. (Matthew was tortured and murdered near Laramie, Wyoming back in 1998 because of his sexual orientation).

In the past ten years, a number of countries have decriminalized homosexuality, including Belize, India, Angola, and Singapore. Several countries now legally recognize non-binary or third gender classifications. Blood donation policies for men who have sex with men have changed. These are just a few steps forward that have been made.

Sadly, there have also been changes in the other direction. There is still hate, even within progressive communities. There are also countries where being gay is punishable by death. Pride month is a good time to reflect on the advances, but it is also a reminder that there is still work to do. It is time for a lot more change!

I'm gay

When Ellen DeGeneres publicly came out and announced that she is gay back in 1997, it was a big deal. Gay celebrities lived in the closet most of the time fearing that their careers would be hurt. Ellen even had her tv sitcom character come out. When Lance Bass came out nine years later it wasn't as big. There already were some openly gay musicians and Lance was not currently doing that much performing. As more and more people came out it became easier for the next.

Neil Patrick Harris played a non-gay role on his hit television show, so you might expect him to be the last to tell the world he is gay, but tell he did, around the same time as Lance.  Did is popularity go down?  Nope.  Not a bit.  In fact, he seems to have become more popular.

Ricky Martin, Rosie O’ Donnell, BD Wong, Jim Parsons, Cynthia Nixon, Meredith Baxter, and George Takei and just a few of the dozens who in recent years have said "I'm gay." Each time someone says it there seems to be a little less surprise and a little less controversy.  Gay people exist.  Some of them are famous.  It's really no big deal.  Back in 2020 we even saw a married gay man run for President of the United States!

Closets are really just for clothes and so more and more people are being open about who they are.  People are being honest, and the honesty is being rewarded in the form of more acceptance and more equality.  It's about time.

The Gay Gene

There was an article in the UK Daily Mail 32 years ago today back in 1993, reporting on the possibility of terminating pregnancies if the "gay gene" was discovered. The author of the piece, Jason Lewis wrote in part "Isolation of the genes means it could soon be possible to predict whether a baby will be gay and give the mother the option of abortion."

Of course that wasn't the end of it. There have been other reports. In 2019, analysis of half a million people suggested that genetics may have a limited contribution to sexual orientation. There are other factors to consider as well. Another report says that genetics are involved in sexual orientation, but that there are no specific genetic predictors.

My reason for bring this up this morning was the abortion option. No this isn't going to be a debate on a woman's right to choose. My issue is terminating a pregnancy because you don't want a gay child. If you knew you were going to bring a gay person into the world, would you want to?  (There was even talk at one time about mandatory abortions if a gay gene was found).

How far have we come since the 1993 report I mentioned?  Not far enough I'm afraid.  There are still those who would like to find a gay gene and use it to insure that there never be another gay person born,  I'm curious though about what YOU think.  Let me hear from you.

That Certain Summer

Gay characters on tv?  Of course!  In 2024 we are seeing more gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters in main roles on television than ever before.  I especially like how characters have been portrayed on shows like Major Crimes, Tommy, Modern Family, Star Trek: Picard, 9-1-1: Lone Star, and Council of Dads.  It hasn't always been that way though.  Over the years, there have been gay characters, but usually they were made fun of and treated with all the stereotypes.

Way back in 1959, a gay tv drama South was broadcast on the ITV anthology Play of the Week.  I'm not certain, but I think it was the first. In 1961 San Francisco public tv station KQED presented the first documentary on homosexuality to be seen on American television, The Rejected.  The last I checked; you could watch in on YouTube.  When That Certain Summer aired on ABC Television in 1972, it was the first television screenplay to sensitively explore homosexuality through the story of an American family split by divorce.  Although just a tv movie with a single airing, That Certain Summer was groundbreaking. 

Hal Holbrook and Martin Sheen play the gay couple in That Certain Summer with Scott Jacoby as the 14-year-old son of Holbrook's character. The dad had divorced several years earlier, and the boy does not know that his father is gay and in a committed relationship with his new life partner.  No suggestions of physical intimacy back then.  It's just a simple love story.

Do you have any favorite LGBTQ+ characters from tv land?  Is there a show with a LGBTQ+ theme that you particularly like?  Television has really come a long way since That Certain Summer, but has it come far enough?  Is there proper LGBTQ+ representation?  What do YOU think?

At The Movies

Seen any good movies lately?  Wait!  Have you seen any good LGBTQ-themed movies lately?  Last Friday I wrote here about the music, so today I move on to film and will share my top twenty pick for LGBTQ movies of all time.  (This is tough by the way.  There are a lot of movies out there)!

First I want to acknowledge that mainstream cinema does a much better job these days in showing our lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning sisters and brothers.  When I was a kid, it was rare to see a gay character in a movie and when there was, it was always some kind of freak.  It's so nice to see this better representation and it is wonderful to see such a great collection of movies with a specific LGBTQ theme.

So, here's my list:  20-The Queen (1968), 19-The Crying Game (1992), 18-Longtime Companion (1990), 17-The Times of Harvey Milk (1984), 16-Giant Little Ones (2019), 15-The Boys in the Band (1970), 14-The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), 13-Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997), 12-Boys Don’t Cry (1999), 11-The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994), 10-Milk (2008), 9-The Birdcage (1996), 8-Transamerica (2006), 7-Love, Simon (2018), 6-My Own Private Idaho (1991), 5-Call Me by Your Name (2018), 4-Carol (2015), 3-Brokeback Mountain (2005), and 2-The Wedding Banquet (1993).

Now I know a lot of you will disagree with this list.  Please feel free to tell me what I left out and also if my order was all wrong. 

Oh and did you notice I only listed 19 films?  Well I do have a number one choice - it's an oldie but a goodie.  I actually watch it over and over.  My number one selection is Torch Song Trilogy (1988), Harvey Fierstein's splendid adaptation of his play with Matthew Broderick, Brian Kerwin, the incredible Anne Bancroft, and an appearance by the great Charles Pierce.  I LOVE this movie!

Who else

Are there other openly LGBTQ+ celebrities that we haven't mentioned?  Indeed, there are!  I'm thinking of Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Elliot Page, Neil Patrick Harris, Robin Roberts, Dustin Lance Black, Chaz Bono, Ian McKellen, Holland Taylor, Ronen Rubinstein, Barry Manilow, Wesley Eure, and Adam Lambert to name just a few.  

There is also a long list of famous LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers who are no longer living.  So many of them weren't able to come out during their lifetime.  These days it seems to be much safer in many countries to live as your true self.  It wasn't that long ago, when you had to hide your true identity if you were part of the LGBT+ community.

When I hear Lily Tomlin talking about her wife or Lance Bass saying something about his husband, it warms my heart.  Visibility makes a difference.  

As Pride Month continues, I will write here about some other people who have publicly come out.  In addition to all of the performers, there are also the writers, athletes, politicians, activists, and others in the public eye who have come out over the years.  The list is too long to name everyone and that is a very good thing.  The more people come out, the easier it is for the next person.  Perhaps the day will come when we won't judge people by their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Perhaps.

The Smile of Ken

If you read this blog regularly, you may recall me writing about Kenneth Felts back in 2020 saying "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay! Since then, Ken met a man, Johnny Javier Hau, and fell in love. Two years ago they married, and the New York Times wrote up their story.

If you don't know the story, let me catch you up. After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret.  It seems his daughter is also gay, so in 2020 he came out to her, and then to the whole world.  All the details are in a book he has written My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90.  I found the book to be both interesting and very moving.

I have had the privilege of communicating with Ken and Johnny these past few years and while we have never met in person, everything I see is great joy and happiness.  Coming out can be a very good thing.  In nearly every picture I see of Ken, he is smiling.  How wonderful!  I look forward to someday meeting him in person.  I'd love to hear more of his stories.

No kings, but queens are good

Over 1,000 communities across the country today are holding events for a "No Kings Nationwide Day of Defiance." Queens are a different matter. Let me introduce you to the Absolute Empress XXV of San Francisco.  The name Garry McLain might not be familiar to you, but for so many - even folks on the other side of the world, the San Francisco establishment he ran for many years was not only familiar, but it was also a destination! 

Mclain is much better known to many as Marlena the Magnificent, who owned Marlena's bar.  Marlena’s was a neighborhood institution for twenty two years and for many regulars, it was a home away from home - a place like Cheers, "where everybody knew your name." It was also where you could play a quick afternoon game of pool or come to see one of the best drag shows anywhere. Of course the fundraisers and community events are firm in so many of our memories too. Santas. If you had been there at Christmastime, you know about the santas. 

Marlena's was such a wonderful part of San Francisco, but it was the man at the top, Marlena himself, who made this all happen.  So many know him as a drag queen or as a bar owner, but if you have spent any time in the community or if you have visited his namesake saloon, you know him as someone who gives back - someone who makes a difference in this world. He has given money- he has given time - he has given a stage for new performers - he has given a place for folks with nowhere else to go. To put it quite simply, Garry McLain has a heart of gold.

During Pride Month, I pause to thank all the wonderful drag performers in our world, past and present.  God save our queens!

The LGBTQ+ Music

The LGBTQ+ anthems on my list might not be the same as yours, but during the Pride Month, I was thinking of the songs I would list.  Here are this years's top twentyfive (according to me):

25: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Abba, 24: Same Love - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, 23: Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland, 22: Ice Cream Truck - Cazwell, 21: Believe - Cher, 20: The Night I Fell in Love - Pet Shop Boys, 19: If I Had You - Adam Lambert, 18: Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston, 17: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester, 16: True Trans Soul Rebel - Against Me, 15: Tainted Love - Imelda May, 14: Born this Way - Lady Gaga, 13: No More Tears - Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 12: Express Yourself - Madonna, 11: True Colors - Cindi Lauper, 10: Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent, 9: It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls, 8: Constant Craving - kd lang, 7: YMCA - The Village People, and a favorite of mine 6: Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson. The top five -- 5: Your Song - Elton John, 4: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor, 3: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman, 2: Raise Your Glass - Pink, and 1: I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross.

Does this list do the LGBTQ+ community justice?  Should it be revised? What song would you add? Are there any that just have to be dropped from this list? I tried to keep this list vast and diverse, but I don't know how I did, so feedback really would be appreciated.  Just how does a song become a gay anthem anyway?  

Nobody makes mix tapes anymore, right?  At least we have YouTube!  I think I'll cue up Gloria Gaynor singing 'I Will Survive.'

.Remembering Pulse

It was just a few years ago on June 12, 2016, that a man shot and killed 49 people and wounded another 53 people in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. Every year I write about it here in this space. In the midst of all our Pride Month celebrations, we also must not forget any of our tragedies.

I do not write about the Perpetrator, preferring instead to focus on remembering those who died. Pulse had been hosting a "Latin Night," and most of the victims were Latino. It was the deadliest incident of violence against lesbian, gay, and bisexual people in the history of the United States, surpassing the 1973 UpStairs Lounge arson attack in New Orleans.

Here are the lives that were lost. Remember their names.

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chavez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

Officials have characterized the shooting as an act of terrorism, but it has not been called a hate crime. It has been argued that the shooter was not targeting the club because of gay patrons. While that may be true, the injured and the lives lost were mostly from the LGBT+ Community.  May we never forget these lives cut short.

We need to know our history

I began this month by writing a bit about LGBTQ+ celebrations and reasons why they are necessary.  I also wrote a little about some of the people who have made a difference.  Hearing a story recently about someone who wasn't quite sure who Marsha P. Johnson was, I knew I needed to head in that direction.  We need to know our history,

Marsha P. Johnson was an activist in New York City from the 1960s to the 1990s. Co-founder of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, Marsha was also a visible presence at protests and marches and at the same time was a mother figure to young trans women. Facing ridicule, bullying, and harassment, Marsha did not yield from being her true self, and in doing so made a huge difference. (The middle initial P, according to her was Pay it No Mind).

Many of us are aware of those who make a difference in the town where we live, but folks in other places do things that lead to a better life for us all.  Whether you are from New Jersey where Marsha was born, New York where she became known, or the other side of the earth, it's important to know that things she did, made a difference.   

Although the police report her death as suicide, there is much evidence to suggest that her death was as a result of a hate crime.  As part of her legacy, we should all pledge to do everything possible to end the plague of hate crimes against our trans sisters and brothers.

Adam's pictures

The Pride Celebrations each June, the rainbow flag, and The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt are all things that make a visible difference.  Who doesn't recognize panels of The Quilt when you see them, or the rainbow flag?  Well, the NoH8 Campaign is another example.  Photographer Adam Bouska created this visual program along with partner Jeff Parshley, back in 2009 in response to California's Proposition 8, the ballot proposition opposing same-sex marriage.

Openly gay Bouska has really made a difference taking pictures of thousands in the past eight years.  I remember seeing a friend at work with the NoH8 on his cheek.  It made an immediate impact on me.  There is something very empowering seeing your favorite celebrities, including many non-gay people, in these poses with the duct tape and the NoH8 lettering. 

Our LGBTIQ+ community is fortunate to have so many great leaders.  There just aren't enough days in the month to mention everyone, but I encourage you to mention some others for me, using the comments section below.

If you want to keep up with Adam Bouska's NoH8 pictures, check out their website at http://www.noh8campaign.com/ - you can donate money to this great campaign through their website too.  (I love looking through all the pictures).  Adam makes a difference in many other ways as well.  I really appreciate all of his positive and encouraging tweets.  You can keep up with him at his website http://www.adambouska.com/ 

The other Harvey

Last night Harvey Made me very happy (and not for the first time). You may assume I'm talking about Harvey Milk, we celebrated his birthday last month and his name has been in the news this month. I just wrote about him on yesterday though.  This time it's Harvey Fierstein that I write about.

You might remember him from a classic episode of Cheers, or from his roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, Garbo Talks, or The Year Without a Santa Claus, but for me he will always be Arnold Beckoff from Torch Song Trilogy and Edna Turnblad in Hairspray.

Fierstein is much more than a fine actor though. He is also a wonderful voice actor, occasional columnist, and a playwright, and was one of the first openly gay celebrities in the country and put a face on the LGBTIQ+ community.

His Torch Song Trilogy gives a portrait of gay life, for those who don't really have a clue. He brought the performance to both the stage and to film and wasn't afraid to show two men in a loving committed relationship. The movie version of Torch Song is one of my all-time favorites!

By being visible, even if it might have held back his career, Harvey Fierstein has made a difference. He continues to bring us joy and pride too with every single performance. Already the recipient of four Tony Awards, last night Harvey was awarded the Special Tony Award for Lifetime Achievement.  That made me very happy.

Never give up

I've written here a lot about Harvey Bernard Milk.  Probably more than any other person. People need to know who this man was and what he did. His early years were on Long Island, and even after a stint in the Navy, Harvey returned to Long Island to teach. We remember him more though for the short time he spent in San Francisco, and for the encouraging words he spoke, and for his tragic death.  

His famous "Hope speech" is so often quoted, but there was much more encouragement than that. In a taped message that wasn't heard until after his assassination, he urged gay people to come out. "I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they'll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects ... I hope that every professional gay will say 'enough', come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help."  That is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.

Harvey's political career was short, and he didn't accomplish many of the things he might have, but he became a symbol - an icon. He gave us hope, and he continues to, 46 years after his death.

Once, in an interview with The San Francisco Chronicle, Harvey said "If I turned around every time somebody called me a faggot, I'd be walking backward - and I don't want to walk backward."

Harvey Milk led us forward. I recall those days in San Francisco, and the energy and the enthusiasm still exists. There may be difficult moments, and our country may regret some political decisions, but we must continue to move forward and never give up. Recalling a portion of Harvey's most famous speech, "The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up." 

This month, take a moment and remember Harvey, and never give up!

The man who gave us the rainbow flag

He would have turned 74 on Monday. A lot of you don't know his name, but you know one of his creations - the rainbow flag. His name was Gilbert Baker and although he is best known for that famous LGBTQ+ symbol, Gilbert did so much more.

After a stint in the Army, Gilbert worked on the first marijuana legalization initiative in California and learned to sew so he could create banners for protest marches. He was for a time a member of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. He also served on the Board of Directors of San Francisco Pride where I had the great pleasure of working with him.

Baker first created the Rainbow Flag in 1978. In 1984, he also designed flags for the Democratic National Convention. Sometimes I'm bad with dates, but I remember when we marched to Castro and Market in San Francisco and raised a giant rainbow flag on the newly installed flagpole. A rainbow flag has flown there ever since.

In 1994, Baker moved to New York City and lived there for the rest of his life. In 2003, to commemorate the Rainbow Flag's 25th anniversary, Gilbert made a Rainbow Flag that stretched from the Gulf of Mexico to the Atlantic Ocean in Key West. Oh my! Earlier this year the minor planet 429733 Gilbertbaker was named in his honor.

As you look at all of the beautiful rainbow flags flying this month, or any time, take a moment and think of Gilbert Baker. I am so glad he came our way.

All the letters

Most people are familiar with the rainbow flag and the trans flag is fairly well known too, but what about this flag?  Do you recognize it?  This is the bisexual flag created by Michael Page to represent and increase visibility of bisexuals within the LGBTQ community and also within society as a whole.

Page says the pink represents sexual attraction to same sex only (lesbians and gay men).  The blue field represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (heterosexuals).  The overlapping purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bisexuals).

When Pride events first began, most of the emphasis was on gay men.  Gradually it has changed to include the entire LGBTQ+ umbrella, but some still don't get as much attention.  All of the letters are important, not just the first two.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) wrote an open letter to bisexuals back in 2019 (which you can read in full HERE).  That letter says in part "Pride can be a hard time for those who fall within the bisexual, pansexual, queer and sexually fluid community.  Studies show that bi people make up nearly 50% of the LGBTQ community, but too often it can feel like we’re all alone, walking a line between being 'too queer' or 'not queer enough.'"  During this Pride Month, remember your bisexual sisters and brothers and remember too that all groups are important. 

43 years of AIDS

Today is the 44th anniversary of the first published cases of what would later be known as acquired immunodeficiency syndrome or AIDS. It is also HIV Long-Term Survivors Awareness Day. Remember the names of all those we have lost, especially in the earliest days, and remember too all those living with HIV, as we continue the work to get to zero new HIV infections.

In addition to working for a cure, it's sad that we also have to keep fighting the stigma.  In the many years I have been writing this blog, I have devoted more space here to HIV/AIDS, and I am still amazed that so many still don't understand or in some cases, don't even care. HIV is not a gay disease. It's not a punishment for having done wrongs. It can be transmitted by homosexual AND heterosexual practices, and although it is primarily a sexually transmitted disease, there are other means of transmission.

Back in the early days of AIDS in the early '80s, HIV/AIDS was considered a death sentence. I can't tell you how many people I said goodbye to. I remember reporting on the lack of concern on the part of our leaders and even within the health community. Activists led the way, as so often is the case. Activist made a difference and continue to do so. I remember my first AIDS Walk 36 years ago and I am amazed at how that annual event has grown and has spread across the country.  I am also thinking this morning of my friends Gilberto and Jason and so many others who are participating in another AIDS LifeCycle.

I can remember the candlelight marches and the beginning of The Quilt.  I remember the celebrity deaths including Dack Rambo, Freddie Mercury, Robert Reed, and Liberace.  I can recall the first days of the Asian AIDS Project, which later became API Wellness and now is San Francisco Community Health.  I can remember fundraisers big and small and so many caring loving people who got involved.  I can remember so many heroes including Donald Francis, Elizabeth Glaser, Brownie Mary, Nurse Alison Moed, and Keith Haring.  Along the way I remember so many that we lost - so many lives cut short.

Now in 2025 I have no intention of giving up.  I'll keep fundraising and speaking up and talking until I drive some folks crazy.  I will also keep caring, because we have to care when we speak of human lives.  On this 44th anniversary though, I will mostly be remembering and trying to recall each person I said goodbye to.  Today I will think back.  Today I am grateful for the progress, but I don't want us to keep having anniversaries.  

Can I interest you in a donut?

The Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village in New York City is the primary reason why we celebrate Pride during June.  Most of us know about The Stonewall Inn and the history behind it, but can I interest you in a donut?  What many claim was the first LGBTQ+ uprising in the United States occurred ten years before Stonewall at Cooper Donuts in Los Angeles.

How about the Dewey’s Lunch Counter sit-in back in Philadelphia in 1965? That too was before Stonewall. The Compton's Cafeteria Riot occurred the following year in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco.  Again, before Stonewall, yet that is the one most folks know about.  There have been other incidents where the LGBTQ+ community stood up and fought back - some famous and some not as well known.

The parades and marches and celebrations during Pride Month every year (and in some places at other times) remember our history and bring us together to see that we continue down the path of equality, fairness, and justice.  

Of course, there is a rich and important history connected to LGBTQ+ Pride Month, and I'll continue telling you about it here.  Do feel free to share some information about your neck-of-the-woods in the comments section below!  If there isn't a big parade in your community, let's at least eat a donut in remembrance of the LA uprising at Cooper Donuts, and share our hopes for the future.

all kinds of heroes

The Pride Celebrations of the LGBTQ+ communities all around the world are happy and joyous, in part - but they are also rallies for justice and continuations of the fight for equality.  Along the way there have been many heroes.  In this blog, I write about making a difference, and while there have been numerous leaders over the years, a number of whom I will write about here, not all of the lgbtq heroes identify as LGBTQ+.  There are numerous non-gay allies who have made an incredible difference.

These days we know more and more names because folks are less fearful of the gay, bisexual, or transgender label.  Many celebrities are coming out, and that in itself makes a difference, with more visibility.  More people are coming out to family and friends too.  Think for a moment.  How many people do you know who are part of the LGBTQ+ community?

The heroes?  Well, there are certainly too many to write about in just one short blog post, but they include Cleve Jones, Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, Harvey Milk, Brooklyn Owen, Gavin Newsom, Cecilia Chung, Ken Jones, Dustin Lance Black, Barbara Gittings, Neil Giuliano, Gilbert Baker, and Vic Basile. Also Troy Perry, Bayard Rustin, Adam Bouska, José Sarria, Chaz Bono, Felicia Elizondo, Blake Brockington, Ryan Cassata, Dan Savage, and Tamara Ching.  The list can go on and on, and hopefully more and more folks will come forward and fight for what is right - equality for all.  

Please do feel free to share your LGBTQ+ Pride stories here.  What is the most moving experience you have ever had.  Who are your heroes in 2025? 

Walking through June

Yesterday I wrote here that LGBTQ+ Pride Month has begun.  During these thirty days we celebrate, but we also remember our past and work for a better future.  Some of that remembering we can do every day now thanks to a wonderful memorial that initially included these twenty people:

Jane Addams (1860-1935)

James Baldwin (1924-1987)

George Choy (1960-1993)

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)

Keith Haring (1958-1990)

Harry Hay (1912-2002)

Sylvester James (1947-1988)

Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989)

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

Del Martin (1921-2008)

Yukio Mishima (1925-1970)

Bayard Rustin (1912-1987)

Randy Shilts (1951-1994)

Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)

Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Tom Waddell (1937-1987)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

So, what do they have in common? Well, they are all part of the LGBTQ community and they were all the initial honorees of the Rainbow Honor Walk in San Francisco's Castro District. David Perry had this great idea about honoring pioneers in the LGBTQ+ community, people who laid the groundwork for LGBTQ+ rights, and to teach us all and future generations about these heroes. 

I've written about the Rainbow Honor Walk here before, and you really should check in out when in San Francisco. More information (including a list of all the honorees and their biographies) can be found on their website at http://rainbowhonorwalk.org/  

Pride Month Is Here

LGBTQ+ Pride Month begins today, and I have already seen people asking "How come there is no Straight Pride Celebration"? Really?  It's 2025 folks and the need should be obvious! 

In case you hadn't noticed, heterosexual life is pervasive and permeates just about everything in our culture.  While things may be changing, especially in big cities, the anti-gay and anti-trans climate is still very present in so many places that people have to hide their identities.  Once a year at LGBTQ Pride Celebrations all over the world, people travel from smaller communities to be in a place where they don't have to hide - where, even if only for a few days, they can be themselves. 

 

LGBTQ Pride celebrations provide a sense of community to people who have so often been isolated and outcast, even from their own families and they bring attention to political or social causes that are important to LGBT people.

 

As someone (I have forgotten who) once said "Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate not being straight but our right to exist without prosecution."  Indeed.  How many places can you think of where someone will go to jail because they are heterosexual?  Where is someone likely to lose their job for NOT being gay?  Think about it.

 

Do large cities like New York, San Francisco, London, or Toronto still need LGBTQ Pride events?  Indeed they do.  While there does seem to be more freedom and more equality in those cities than in so many places, the big cities provide a visible place of safety and a place where folks can and do come from all over.  That is also another reason to keep doing these celebrations.  They can be held up as an example to others.  Holding these celebrations also gives those in small towns and those who live in a place that lacks tolerance, a place to which they can escape.  Wherever you are this month, take some time to think about equality and being your true self.  Everyone should have that opportunity.
 

Some say there is a "straight Pride" celebration every day of the year. Ideally, we wouldn't have to use any labels. Every day could be a celebration of who we are, including people who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We're sadly not at that day yet in most of the world. 

 

hello? anybody out there?

Who reads this stuff?  I wonder that a lot.  It was never my purpose to have tons of daily readers and to receive so many comments and so much email that I could not keep up with it, but the fact is, I get only about two or three comments a month.  This makes me wonder is there anybody out there?

Part of my wondering of course is to see if this is all going in a good direction.  I want to make a difference in the lives of others.  I want to encourage other people to make a difference in their various ways.  I want to light a fire or put some fuel on an already lit fire and see how great we can make this world of ours.  If we all contribute, there is nothing that cannot be accomplished!  There is so much good in the world and I am always encouraged when I see that good.  I am also personally encouraged when I hear that people read these words and that it has some kind of meaning for them.  Please feel free to make suggestions too.

Next month is LGBTQ+ Pride Month and now more than ever we need positive reinforcement, so I will most likely be writing on that subject all month long. Since you just made it through these three paragraphs, why not take a second and say something in the comments area below.  Is there some way of giving back that you think I should be talking about?  Tell me!  Do you know a giver that perhaps I should profile here?  Tell me!  Do you think I need to change my focus or say more (or less) about something?  Tell me!  I really would love to hear from you.

The Twenty

I have told this story before about how special we all are, but I really like it and some of you might not have read my blog the day I told this before, so here it is again.  A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

 

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

As I mentioned above, I am retelling this wonderful story, and the first time I posted it, it was a retelling too. I have no idea who first told it - it's been circulating on the internet for some time.  The significant thing is the messages it brings.  We are all special.  We should all count our blessings, and NOT our problems!

Can we all be superheroes

Do you have what it takes to be a Superhero? I think we all do. Too few of us act on that though. There are all kinds of things we can do though to make a difference in this world, and it doesn't require any special powers at all.  This morning I was thinking about some fictional superheroes and somehow got thinking about the real ones too.

While the adventures of Alexander Lexington, Peter Parker, Julia Cornwall Carpenter, and Scott Lang may be a lot of fun, there are everyday folks who are superheroes, and I would love to see more said about them. Oh, and for me, the folks who do good after something good has been done for them, and special pay-it-forward heroes. A small act can be huge to another person.

Does a superhero have to be a famous person? Of course not! We are more likely to hear about them, but there are everyday heroes that nobody ever hears about, and they are so very important too. We all can be those heroes. We all can stand up and make a difference.

Who are the heroes in your life? A teacher perhaps, or maybe your parents? What about a famous singer or athlete? One of my heroes is rapper and activist Jason Chu who several years ago shared some powerful lyrics "But I’ve learned: a hero isn’t about being super. We become heroes because of what makes us human."

Be the reason someone smiles

Have you ever walked down the street early in the morning and had someone smile and say hello to you? It actually used to be quite common. It still happens here and there, but mostly in smaller communities. I don't know about you, but that kind of friendliness can really make my day. Their smile becomes my smile!

Of course there are many reasons to be happy. The barista who serves my coffee, remembering exactly how I like it from my previous visits, and who hands it to me with a smile. His smile, becomes my smile! The same thing happens when I am crossing the street and a driver waits to let me go ahead with a wave and a smile. (I think you know where this is going). Her smile becomes my smile! That's how it goes throughout the day. Someone has a smile, and now I do too.

Being nice is always a good thing. Sharing the joys of life not only makes others happy, but can help to keep you happy. It's like a circle. Happy people don't have to put a lot of effort into it. It just comes naturally. Some of us have to think about it a little more. Whatever the case though, be happy, and share it. Be the reason someone smiles today!