when someone needs you

This has been a tough week for me and the week ahead will be even tougher. I could easily tell you why, but this blog is NOT about me. It really is about all of us and how we can all make a difference. So, in that spirit, I'd like to share one of those anonymous stories that has been floating around the internet. The story is not about anyone I know, and I don't even know the author. I do know the point of the story though. The next time someone needs you, just be there. Read on -

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her, “Who was that man?” he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.

“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”

“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”

“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman’s Name?“

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey."

Read any good books lately?

Have you read any good books lately? Seriously. That might sound like an odd question here, but books can be powerful tools! It might be a book you read that will inspire you to change the world. If you don't read much, you should try it. You will find amazing things!

I book can bring you a lot of information too. If you love cooking or building or designing or any number of hobbies, books can be of great help. They can show you how to do things and even give you ideas of things you might never have thought of.

How about a nice adventure story or trashy romance novel or a suspenseful murder mystery? The fiction on your bookshelves can transport you to just about anywhere. Want to learn a new hobby or explore history? There are all kinds of non-fiction options. Having a tense day? Perhaps a book of poetry can help soothe things. How about a volume of jokes and riddles? Maybe what you need is just a nice coffee table book filled with great photographs.

If your home is without much of a literary selection, surely there is a library not too far away. If you're lucky, there might even be a nice little bookstore with selections that not only might bring you joy, some titles you might bring home for others too. After all, the joy of books is good to share. Books make good presents too!

Just a perfect blendship

Some silly relaxation before going to bed last night - I watched an episode of that old series The Golden Girls.  As you may recall, the theme song is Thank You For Being A Friend.  I'm sure I was singing along in my head.

I woke up this morning to the sound of Dionne Warwick singing That's What Friends Are For on the radio.  Shortly after that I accidently clicked a YouTube link and went to an old clip of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance singing about friendship.  There must be a theme here! 

What a wonderful thing friendship is.  It can actually make you sing!  I started to sing along with Lucy and Ethel.

"It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have been forgot

Ours will still be hot!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig."

The wonderful Dutch priest Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen had some good thoughts on the subject:

"Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends."

more ways to brighten the day

Remember those lists we have begun here before?  Well let's see what else we can add to make a difference in the lives of others. In no particular order, here are a number of additional ideas. 

 

Give another driver your parking spot.  Give your full attention to someone in need and simply listen.  Stop by a nursing home, and visit someone who has no family nearby.  Have a clean-up party in the park.  Bring coworkers a special treat.  Buy cold drinks for the people next to you at a ball game.  Spend some time serving food at a meal program for the needy.  Volunteer to be a tutor in a school.  Remember the bereaved with phone calls, cards, plants, and food.

 

Volunteer to read to kids in the library.  Donate time at a senior center.  Give a pair of tickets to a concert or baseball game to a stranger.  Send a gift anonymously to a friend.  Transport someone who can’t drive.  Make telephone calls in support of equality urging others to put aside hate.  Send a treat to a school or day-care center.  Volunteer at an organization that needs help.  Go through your closets and find several nice items and then donate them to a shelter.  Buy books for a day care or school.  Give toys to the children at a shelter.  Volunteer to fix up an elderly couple’s home.

Invite someone new for dinner, either in your home or in a restaurant. Say nice things randomly to facebook and twitter friends.  Buy some bottles of water and randomly hand them out to strangers on the street.  Drop off a plant or a plate of cookies to your nearby police or fire station.  Clean graffiti from neighborhood walls and buildings.  Buy a stranger a free pizza.  Mow a neighbor’s grass or sweep a neighbor’s walk.  Offer to return a shopping cart to the store for someone loading a car.

Pay for the person behind you in the movie line.  Tell your parents/children why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a supermarket or drugstore employee and then praise him/her through that company’s corporate office.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Tell your boss that you think he/she does a good job.  Give blood.  Treat someone to fresh fruit.  Sing at a nursing home. 

 

Let's let this list keep on growing!

 

family

I don't understand the fighting that too often goes on within families and I certainly don't understand people walking out or disowning. Family (to me) is forever. It's not like some kind of club you resign from.

Is family important in times of crisis or distress?  Of course!  These days we need our families more than ever.  Show the love.  Never turn your back.

How can a parent turn their back on a child?  How can a kid walk out on mom or dad?  How do sisters and brothers stop speaking to each other?  Family (to me) is about love. With love there is no fighting or walking out - or kicking out. With love there is respect and there is discussion and there is understanding and hope. Family is the foundation for all that we are.

I remember an interview with Angelina Jolie from several years ago in which the actress said it best: "Family is what grounds you."  Indeed.

Van Gogh's legacy

The Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh was many things (not just the inspiration for Don McLean's 1971 hit song), but we remember him most for his numerous self-portraits and his lovely starscapes. Van Gogh was not famous during his lifetime, but his posthumous fame shows us a man who not only was an incredible artist, but also a man of great wisdom. Much of the information we have of him is from correspondence between him and his brother.

One thing I find particularly inspiring is this thought from him: "The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore."

He also said, "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

This probably isn't what you were expecting from me on this May morning. I was thinking about kindness (I write another blog every day about being kind in the world) and self-doubt came to mind. Just like we should never hold back from being kind and caring people, we should also not let things hold us back, especially those voices of self-doubt from within. Just do it!

last request

Do you ever read the obituaries in the newspaper? Sometimes they can be humorous and sometimes they simply gave details of someone's life. Lately though I have come across several that are very inspiring, not just because of the life that had been led, but because of a last request.  There was a wonderful obituary a newspaper last week that brought me to tears.  A brother wrote some very touching words about his sister who had lived with cerebral palsy.  "I wish I could have made you laugh one more time," he wrote.

Frequently in obituaries there will be an "in lieu of flowers" statement, that directs folks to a charity that is significant to the deceased.  I also have seen some very nice "last requests."  In telling of one man who had recently passed away, the obituary said that one of his last wishes was for any person reading the obituary to perform a good deed in his honor for someone that they may have had friction with or disliked. Wow! Someone wanted to continue the love even after they were gone. How wonderful. How many people did a good deed in his honor? There is of course no way to know, but what a wonderful idea!

Maybe this will inspire folks reading this to make other last requests. What would you want your legacy to be? How would you like to be an inspiration to strangers, even after you are gone?  Of course, estate planning is another way to help those who come after you while also keeping your name alive.

The innocence of children

I remember writing here a few years ago about the innocence of children saying that babies don't hate you because of your skin color or your sexual orientation or you height or weight or gender or religion or for any reason at all. Think about it. We are born without all of that negative stuff attached. Children don't know how to hate. Why can't we keep it that way?

Who is teaching our children the bad thoughts and the bad words and the bad actions? The answer of course is that we are. We are teaching discrimination. We are teaching hate. We are taking away the innocence of our children.  Oh most are not doing it on purpose - I'm not saying that, but that doesn't make it any better.  Children look to their parents, teachers, pastors, doctors, and babysitters for a map of how to act.  They follow our lead.  If we discriminate - if we hate others, they very easily copy our actions.

If you have ever heard a small child using foul language, you have an idea of what I am talking about.  If it stopped at language, we might not think it bad, but kids are learning more and more bad behaviors from the very folks who should be teaching them good.  Let's be positive with our children.  Let's teach them about love, instead of the opposite.  Babies come into the world without any idea of hate. Let's not give it to them!

Still blogging after all these years

Every morning, after a shower and brisk walk (or sometimes run), I sit down and blog about kindness.  My words are ones that I usually formulate during my walk.  Sometimes I think of things to say for the next several days, which helps when I have those occasional days where my mind seems to go blank.  

Next, I write this blog - it's NOT about me.  It is about all of us and how we can make a difference in this world.  I hope you enjoy reading these words, as much as I enjoy writing them.

I have written about my personal heroes and people and organizations I greatly admire.  Toan Lam is one of those folks I will never tire of writing about.  Colin Kaepernick too.  I love telling about neighborhood people who do good deeds.  I love retelling the stories of folks like Harvey Milk, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and so many others.  I can go on and on too about Katharine Jefferts Schori, Dan Choi, Stuart Gafney, David Chiu, Zoe Dunning, and on and on. 

 

It has been my great honor also to share the story of Lillian Weber who made a huge impact on so many people when she sewed an amazing 1,234 dresses for the organization Little Dresses for Africa, working on past her 100th birthday. The story of Dan McKernan and Barn Sanctuary which he created and runs, is another tale I am so happy to tell.  I remember writing here about the Hat Lady and of course several entries about the wonderful Arnel Pineda.

 

When I began this back in 2008, I had no idea I would be doing this for so long.  There are a lot more things to say though and so, I shall continue.  I hope you will continue to read, and I hope you will also share any comments and suggestions here from time to time.  Without you, there really would be no point in doing this!

What are you wearing?

Do people ever begin a conversation with you because of your clothing? Yesterday I was wearing a t-shirt from one of my favorite organizations, Go Inspire Go. I've written here about them before, but I never tire of telling about them because they pretty much do what I do - encourage folks to make a difference. Their founder Toan Lam (pictured here wearing a shirt like the one I had on yesterday), inspires me every single day with his posts on the Go Inspire Go website and on social media.

Every year I participate in various fundraising events and generally there are special shirts or jackets, which I enjoy wearing because it gives attention to the event, and it gives me a great opportunity to billboard the organization. I have a Light the Night jacket from several years ago that I always wear around the time of that event each year and when I am out trying to raise sponsors. I suppose we all do the same thing to some degree when we wear shirts from our schools or favorite teams.

I love telling people about some of my favorite charities though and it was great yesterday when a total stranger pointed to my shirt and said "What's gig"? After a few minutes of talking about Go Inspire Go, I suggested he watch some of their videos and I directed him to http://goinspirego.com/ - you should check it out too, if you don't already know about them.

One thing we all have in common

There is one thing that every human being has in common. We all come from the Planet Earth. You would think we would all care more about the Earth's future then, huh?  Since 1970, Earth Day has been celebrated around the globe as an annual event on April 22, on which events are held to demonstrate support for environmental protection and for the future of the good ole Earth.

 

My goal is that EVERY day be Earth Day - that we care about our planet every single day of our lives.  That we take seriously things like carbon emissions and recycling and food shortages and global warming.  My goal is for us to all care about this place we call home and making sure it will still be able to sustain human life for our children and our grandchildren and their children and grandchildren.

 

The idea of Earth Day is certainly a good one, and I am not trying to dismiss it.  Yes, let's do things today, but let this only be a beginning.  Let us work every day to erase our earlier mistakes and let's start really taking care of our planet.  We CAN do this!  Let's make a difference!

Pope Francis has died

Sad news this morning. Pope Francis, (born Jorge Mario Bergoglio) has died. He was the first pope from the Society of Jesus (the Jesuit Order), the first from the Americas, the first from the Southern Hemisphere, and the first born or raised outside of Europe since the 8th-century.

Elected at 76 years old, Francis was said to be in good health at the time. It wasn't long though before he was using wheelchair, walker, or cane. In February of this year, Francis entered the hospital with bronchitis and never returned to full health.

Since waking up this morning, I have heard nothing but good thoughts about the Pope from all around the world. To say Pope Francis was well liked, would be an understatement. In a post on X a little while ago, Former President Joe Biden said it best:

"It is with great sadness that Jill and I learned of the passing of His Holiness Pope Francis. He was unlike any who came before him. Pope Francis will be remembered as one of the most consequential leaders of our time and I am better for having known him. For decades, he served the most vulnerable across Argentina and his mission of serving the poor never ceased. As Pope, he was a loving pastor and challenging teacher who reached out to different faiths. He commanded us to fight for peace and protect our planet from a climate crisis. He advocated for the voiceless and powerless. He made all feel welcome and seen by the Church. He promoted equity and an end to poverty and suffering across the globe. And above all, he was a Pope for everyone. He was the People's Pope - a light of faith, hope, and love."

The hope of spring

Growing up back east where winter was sometimes severe and it seemed like the snow was going to last forever, I always looked forward to springtime.  I can remember going to church on Easter Day and seeing beautiful potted hyacinths lining the walkway to the church.  If the weather had been nice and the snow was gone, there might even be some flowers growing in the garden and the grass might be green and pretty.  Some years it would still be cold on Easter and there might even still be snow, but the hyacinths would still be there to herald spring.

 

Springtime, Passover, and Easter are about much more than flowers of course.  Spring is newness.  Spring is rebirth.  Springtime offers hope.  Looking at beautiful flowers can certainly remind us of all the good there is and all the good that is yet to come and that is always a big deal.  

More and more people are speaking out when they see injustice.  More and more people are doing positive things that give me hope.  Oh don't let me tell you that everything is perfect - far from it.  We hold the key though.  We can make things better.  Let's work together, keep a positive attitude, and not give up.  Better days are coming.  That is the hope of springtime.

 

It was on a Holy Monday

It was on a Holy Monday, twelve years ago, that Mom entered into eternal life.  I can recall everything from that day and the day before (Palm Sunday) just like it was now.  It's amazing how some things stick with you.  

 

I especially remember the wonderful nursing assistant who, seeing that Mom was in distress, asked my sister and I if we might step out for a few minutes so that she could put some lotion on Mom.  (I found out later that this angel was actually assigned to a different ward that night but came and did this on her break because who had really clicked with Mom and wanted to make her comfortable).  When my sister and I returned to the room later on, the nursing assistant told us she had given Mom a sponge bath and rubbed her down with lotion.  It was obvious too that she had combed her hair and put a dressing gown around her.  I'll always be grateful to this lovely lady who prepared Mom's earthly body for what turned out to be its final hour.  I really think it helped put Mom at ease, knowing that she was "presentable."

 

Oh, and I have memories of the night before when Mom was anointed with holy oil and prayers were said for her.  She leaned over to the priest afterward and said, "you're going to preach at my funeral, right?"  It amazed me at the time that Mom seemed to suddenly be full of energy and she went on to tell the priest that Abide With Me was her favorite hymn.  We would sing it at her liturgy a few weeks later.

 

My aunt died in Holy Week thirteen years ago and then Mom died in Holy Week the next year.  It might make this week especially hard to deal with.  I'm going to use the time though to center on the good things - the positive things - the things that make a difference.  I had such a wonderful mother, and I am grateful to her for all she did for me.  I'm grateful too that she is at peace and that I have so many warm memories to carry with me, not just on this Holy Monday, but always.  Thanks be to God.

Pranks a lot

Be careful. Seriously, be careful today. Is it real, or is it an April Fool's joke? Some people believe every single thing they read. Today might be the exception. April 1st is probably the only day of the year when people critically evaluate everything they read online, before accepting it as fact. Perhaps we should do that every day.

Jokes and pranks can be fun, if they are done in that spirit, but all too often they are just plain mean. There certainly is no humor in being unkind. I used to be a big fan of All Fool's Day. There have been some wonderful ones (one of my favorites was the Taco Liberty Bell back in the late 90s). There have also been ones that have caused great grief. Then, I am not a fan.

I write about positive uplifting things here, and laughter is wonderful medicine, but sadness and misery are not good things, and so when it comes to this day I really have mixed feelings. Be good. Have fun. Don't make anyone feel bad in the process. Maybe my first two words are a good way to go today: Be careful.

Love until it hurts

Mother Teresa once said, "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." Wonderful!  How can more love ever be a bad thing?

I remember that every time I talked to my mother, she said something about love.  She loved me and my sister but she also loved life and her friends and her everyday experiences, and it showed in everything she did!

I can remember a church in San Francisco where the members used to wear buttons (and hand them out to visitors too).  The buttons say "More Love." What a wonderful concept! I hope that church still has those buttons.

We write here in this blog each day about making a difference in this world of ours. Love is what that comes down to. You cannot do good deeds without love. Love brings joy to those who give it and to those who receive it. Love truly does help us make a difference. Mother Teresa made a difference in this world because of love.

Love is worth it!

let's choose

Some things are more difficult to speak about than others. Some of us are in positions where we don't have to say anything at all. There are those though who always do the right thing - those who stand up and speak out and make a difference. We can choose to be one of those people. We can choose to be like Jason Chu.

Remarkable just doesn't get to what I want to say. I can't think of any word that does. I have mentioned Jason Chu here a couple of times before and I have found myself listening to his words over and over. Remarkable though. He speaks truth.

He doesn't just speak.  He performs.  He's an artist.  You really should watch his YouTube videos.  Subscribe HERE.  In one video, he talks about Freddie Gray and about Baltimore and about privilege.  In that one, THEY WON'T SHOOT ME (I am not #FreddieGray), Jason says what we all should be saying - if indeed we speak. 

Perhaps the most profound thing Jason says this time, is at the very end "Privilege means I get to choose.  So, I choose."  Let's all make that choice!

strive to be happy

Our nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln once said “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I really believe that too. WE control whether or not we are happy.

Yes, everything in life does not turn out the way we might want it and there can certainly be some very trying moments, but anger, frustration, sorrow, are all filled with negativity. There is always something positive in our lives, even if it might take some time to look for it. It might not always be easy either. Being happy though is actually a choice we make. We should choose to be happy above anything else.

This isn't a new idea at all. Aristotle is quoted as saying "Happiness depends upon ourselves." Max Ehrmann's Desiderata which I posted here on Monday, closes with these words: “Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Like I said, it might not always be easy, but the joy of happiness is its own reward!

Missing a piece of the puzzle

Somehow, I never really got into the jigsaw puzzle thing. Mom loved them and I remember her having them laid out on a card table when I was little. It might take her a while because she stopped to do other things, but when she found those last pieces, it was an accomplishment - especially that last missing piece of the puzzle.

 

Sometimes our lives are like that. It doesn't mean we are unhappy necessarily, but we are looking for something that just is not there. When it comes: WOW! It seems somewhat like finding those missing puzzle pieces. (Now of course if you are putting together a jigsaw puzzle, you actually look for those pieces. In life we might not even realize that something is even missing).

 

So what do we do? Well, keeping our minds and our hearts open to new possibilities is always a good thing. Listening to others and realizing that "our" way might not be the "only" way is a start in the right direction. If we think there is a missing piece that we'd like to find, there is nothing wrong with asking for help too. Perhaps our puzzle pieces are a bit more fluid than those of the jigsaw puzzle. Perhaps in some cases, there is nothing really missing at all.

Obituary: Common Sense

This is something that was floating around on the internet a while back. I have no idea who wrote these words, but they spoke to me, and I hope they have meaning for you. Even though this is an obituary, I happen to think it is not too late - we CAN save common sense - we just have to try!

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

"No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

"He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

"Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

"His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

"Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

"Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

"It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

"Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

"Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

"Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

"Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

"He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is to Blame, I'm A Victim

"Not many attended his funeral because, so few realized he was gone.

"If you don't remember him, join the majority and do nothing."

Rule to live by

Some people say they have a code of ethics or a rule to live by. The whole "giving back" idea that I write about here every day, I think is a form of this code.  Many refer to it as the Golden Rule.

 

It really is quite basic: we should treat others as we would like others to treat us. Not hard to understand, right? It is generally stated as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

 

There is a "two-way" relationship between us and the others in our world and that relationship involves both sides equally. None of us likes to have too many regulations, but we all should have some kind of positive rule to live by. This is just basic human values.

 

I can remember when people used to quote this rule.  I can remember when it was common for people to actually live by it too. We can go back to that again. It is possible.

The Ripple Effect

We've been having a couple of really tough years, but there also has been a lot of good.  When I see people reaching out and helping each other, especially during difficult times, to me it makes it extra special. I see it in the news more and more, and I see people I know doing incredible things.  The other day, a woman said to me that she loved making people happy because it makes her happy. She said it was a ripple effect.  Indeed.

I know I have told the story here many times about how each one of us can do what seems like a small thing, but when someone else also does it, and then another person, and another, and still another, it keeps growing. It's that ripple effect. Each ripple gets a little bigger.

I'm not the only one who has talked about this before. The late Senator Robert Kennedy said, "Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, it sends out a tiny ripple of hope." That's a pretty encouraging message.

desired things

The 1927 poem, Desiderata (Latin for desired things) by American writer Max Ehrmann, has long been a favorite of mine. I've mentioned it here before. Since I desire happiness for everyone and I desire that everyone realize his or her importance, it seemed fitting and proper to mention this wonderful prose once again on this Wednesday morning. It being in the public domain, I'd actually just like to print it here for you all to ponder and enjoy:

 

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

 

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

 

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

 

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

 

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

 

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

 

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

 

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.

 

And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

 

                                                                                                                -Max Ehrmann

Living in the past

Are you living in the moment or are you stuck where you used to be; where you always have been? Do you have appreciation for the present, or have you gotten stuck in the past? What about the future? Are you looking ahead or do your eyes seem to be focused on your rearview mirror?

 

Yes, there is comfort in familiarity, but there is also a complete lack of adventure.  We also never advance or go forward if we aren't willing to take risks and try new and different things.  I'm not saying we should throw out tradition, but we can keep it and still add new things.

 

How about this very minute in your life - are you enjoying it or are you thinking about something from yesteryear?  My experience has shown me the great joy of cherishing every single moment and at the same time looking ahead to the newness of life and the adventures we have along the way. 

 

"Oh, I can't wait for this day to end!"  How many of us have said this?  The sad thing is that we are missing the beauty of now.  Years ago on the radio, I used to say "Smell the flowers along the way.  They're only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow."  Living in the past keeps us from the joy of knowing the now and the future.  Live each moment and be glad!

Joy Joy Joy

There used to be a song that was often sung around the campfire at church camps and other places with a line that went "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy - Down in my heart - Down in my heart to stay."  I don't know how I got that in my head.  I must have joy in my heart!

What brings you joy?  I've asked that question here before but think about it for a moment once again.  There are tons of answers to the question.  There really isn't a wrong answer.  What brings you joy might not bring me joy.  Does some of your own joy come in the giving too?  So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you?  What can you do to share the joy?  Do you every purposely try to fill others with joy and happiness?

For me joy is pretty awesome but like with this blog, it's NOT about me and it's not just about my joy alone.  I really am most joyful when I am surrounded by other joyful people.  Seems pretty obvious what we need to do then.  We need to spread the joy, especially during these difficult times!

Encouragement from Lincoln

Our nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln said "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves." Think about that for a moment as you look at what is going on around the country.

Now remember that during Lincoln's administration we had a civil war. He did not call for that war though. The war was caused by hate.

Mr Lincoln is a pretty good voice to listen to right now will all of our many concerns. He told us "We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." 

One more thing. I find this very encouraging all these many year later. Lincoln said "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts." 

There has been a lot of attention on what our current President has been doing. Let's listen to history.  Let's show love and respect and justice for everyone.  Let's not let Abraham Lincoln down.  

Kindness

Besides this blog, I write another one about kindness.  Go to https://ofbeingkind.blogspot.com/ to see that one.  Both are written seven days a week.  I've written 1,676 entries in the kindness blog since I began that back in 2016.  This one I began in 2009, so considerably more entries.  

It's NOT about me is a place where I try to write things that are inspiring.  Most of the entries here are either general in nature or are about specific people (heroes I like to call them) who are helping to make our world better.  If you are not a regular reader, I invite you to come back for more.  Tell your friends about this too!  This is not a place where I talk politics, share sports stories, or present my mouthwatering recipes.  The name is quite accurate, It's NOT about me.  

Oh, and both of these blogs could use some help by the way, especially that one about being kind.  I'm not an expert.  I try to be a kind person, but sometimes I just can't think of anything that is all that inspiring.  If you read that blog, would you kindly leave a comment or two as well?  Your thoughts could be very helpful.  

Together I really believe we can make this a kinder world!  We can never have too much kindness!

Attitude is everything

A reader of this blog left a comment once that said in part "You have an incredibly positive attitude, which is much appreciated in this crazy world."  Thanks for the kind words!  I actually think about that comment often (even though it was probably seven or eight years ago).  Attitude though is everything.  It really is!  Sometimes it is difficult to have a positive attitude, especially when there is so much "crazy" around us.  Never lose hope though.  Never give up!

With many negative stories in the news, I know it is difficult.  So many are losing jobs and prices are sky high and there is a lot to be concerned about.  Hope though can keep us going forward.

I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himself positive results.”  Indeed.  Keep a positive attitude and watch for the positive results!  Yes, sometimes it might seem like there is a roadblock up ahead but never give up!

As the great English Prime Minister Winston Churchill said, “Every wall is a door.”

Circle the Wagons

It was a few years back when a California woman received her cancer diagnosis and she was determined to beat it.  Early treatment was successful, but earlier this year the cancer returned and this time it had the upper hand.  Doctors were not optimistic. 

As this year began, a southern California man had a scary situation.  He suffered a brain hemorrhage and then was in a coma.  This vibrant young man lay helpless in a hospital bed with an unknown future.  Friends and family members came and were by his side.

Both of these stories are true.  In both cases a cry went out to circle the wagons - to unite for the common cause of helping a beloved person return to health.  People not only gathered in person but hundreds sent messages and posted on social media.  People cared.  As it became obvious that the woman would die, the love and the prayers continued to flow.  She passed away a few days ago, and her husband has already commented how helpful all of the prayers and concern have been.

The young man has a happier ending to his story.  Actually, it isn't an ending but a new beginning.  He was just discharged but now faces a lot of rehabilitation.  He was on the brink of death and for weeks he didn't walk or talk, but now he's on the mend.  A great encouragement along the way has been all the folks who came to visit and all the prayers.  Over 400 people kept tabs on him via facebook.  Wow!  He and his mother have said how grateful they are for all the concern, in fact at his discharge he wrote "Thanks for the thoughts, love, support and prayers."

When we circle the wagons, we can do incredible things.  Just our presence can be pretty wonderful to folks who need us.  Of course we don't have to wait for a crisis.  How wonderful it is to be there for others even when all is going well.

Pot of Gold

Have you been going through life looking for your pot of gold? Are you disappointed that huge riches have not come your way, or have you become quite happy with another kind of wealth? It may seem odd, but I never really cared about having a lot of money or fancy material things. Yes, I know this is supposed to be NOT about me, and no, I'm not about to tell you a story of growing up middle class where we just barely made ends meet. There are plenty of other folks with similar stories. Mine is really not unique.

One cool thing I have always liked about Saint Patrick's Day, is on this one day of the year, we are all Irish. Of course we aren't really, but we all celebrate in a positive manner. Let's all wear green and let's all think about luck. Let's all embrace each other whether rich or poor. Wouldn't it be nice if we could do that every day of the year?

Actually we can all be one. We also can all experience our own pot of gold. Perhaps not gold coins are in our future, but happiness comes in many forms. Making people smile - that is gold right there! Do something nice for someone else, and you will feel like the richest person on earth. Don't go looking for a pot of gold because you already have it inside you. The key is to enjoy it!

Are you happy?

What makes you happy?  Are you happy because we have a new president?  Are you happy because zoom and youtube and other platforms help us to attend concerts and other events without even leaving our house?  Are there material objects that bring you happiness?  What about food or maybe music or art?  Are you happy because of the work you do or the people you associate with or because of your hobbies or because of some great past memories?  

 

What?  I'm assuming you ARE happy.  Perhaps I should have first asked if you are.  Well, what's the answer?  Are you a happy person?  Do you share that happiness with others?  (Sharing happiness can also bring you happiness).  It is wonderful to make others happy!

 

I think that happy is one of those wonderful things that is very easy to share.  If you are smiling it invites others to smile as well.  If you seem to be happy and pleasant, I'll bet you will find others picking that happiness up from you!

nothing

Every morning I sit down and write something here.

Does anyone read these words? Seriously. It would be nice to have a comment or two occasionally. Right down at the bottom you can give me your thoughts.

I've been especially thinking about this lately as I write here about hate.  We really need to end it.  I'm sure at least someone out there agrees.

I was originally going to write absolutely nothing this morning.

Nothing would mean no blog entry for this date. It might not even be noticeable.

Instead I wrote this little something about writing nothing.

Remember how Seinfeld was supposedly a show about nothing? Well today my blog is about nothing. (Except that it really is. It's a request for you to comment).

Oh and please feel free to share this with your friends too!

My Sincere Apologies

I write something here every day and it is my intention to write about good things and tell encouraging stories.  Sometimes I fail.  

A number of years ago I wrote about a priest whom I thought was doing good things (and may have been), but I learned that he was also spreading hate.  Not something I want to be part of.  There was once a band that I gave some attention.  I liked their music.  I didn't like their homophobic attitude which I found out about later.  These are just two examples.

My apologies for giving attention o any haters.  That is never my intention.  Sometimes I just don't have enough information.  Please feel free to bring anything to my attention in situations like this.  Today I want to express regret.  I want to do better in the future, but I'm sure I will still make mistakes from time to time.  

I was reading an old blog entry here and came across the words I wrote about a person who was doing good deeds, but later we learned she was transphobic and was intestinally hurting a lot of people.  That is what prompted me to write this today.  I have deleted some old blog posts and am truly sorry if any of them offended you are those you love.

taking on the bullies

How many lives have been cut short due to bullying?  We don't need to know a number, because ANY life lost is too many!  Bullying should have no place in our schools or in our churches or in the lives of our kids.  We need to take on the bullies and put an end to their evil.

 

Bullying must end.  We need to stand up and speak out.  We don't always see it, but bullying is very widespread.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2011, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.  Don't be surprised if you never heard anything from your own children.  Bullying often goes unreported.

 

Speak out means we need to convince our kids that it is important for them to report these things to us.  As adults, we need to tackle bullying head-on and let the bullies know that such behavior is not tolerated.  We need to stand up to the bullies.  We cannot tolerate such behavior, and we cannot sit silent when our children are taking their own lives when they cannot bear the bullying any longer.

We must create a world in which teenagers, especially lgbtq teens, are celebrated and accepted for who they are. We all need to become more involved, and we need to speak up!

 

Twenty dollar bill story

A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200 people, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple up the currency and then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth twenty dollars. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

I've told you about this speaker and the story of the twenty dollar bill here before.  It didn't originate with me.  It is one of those that has floated around and I am simply retelling it here. (I do that sort of thing from time-to-time). But it speaks to a number of things. Mostly it says count your blessings, not your problems.

the smile on your face is there because

The smile on your face is there because you are happy?  Are you always happy?  Do you realize you are smiling or is it something that just comes naturally?  When you meet someone for the first time, do you notice whether or not they are smiling?  (Are you aware if you are smiling)?

Okay so it might look like a toothpaste commercial to some people, but so what?  Isn't a happy appearance a better option than an unhappy one?  I think when someone is smiling, it makes me smile, and not just on my face - I find myself smiling inside.  Of course that's just my opinion.  I'd always love to hear yours!

Yes, I realize that things are not perfect and there are things that make us angry, frustrate us, or make us sad.  A smile doesn't mean everything is perfect.  It means we are going to allow happiness into our lives despite the bad.  If you see someone today without a smile, why don't you give them one of yours?

You brighten up my day

The glow of the sun, up in the sky, seems to spread joy to most of us. It can even make you sing! I was thinking back to that wonderful hit song by the Bee Gees:

Good morning mister sunshine,
you brighten up my day.
Come sit beside me in your way.

Of course that isn't the only mention of the sun in song. John Denver had a hit too, which really describes that feeling:

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
Sunshine on the water looks so lovely
Sunshine almost always makes me high

Can you think of others? Perhaps the joy of a beautiful sunny day might inspire you to write your own song! It might be hard to top George Harrison’s wonderfully contemplative and also very comforting "Here Comes the Sun." Another favorite of mine is another Beatles tune, "Good Day Sunshine." I feel like writing a song, or at least singing along with someone else's. It's going to you a sunny day!

Living life to the fullest

I noticed in an obituary the other day that the deceased person they were writing about was said to have lived life to the fullest. What exactly does that mean though?

There are those who let life pass them by. They really don't enjoy the day-to-day wonders. Many years ago, when I worked in radio, I used to say "Smell the flowers along the way. They're only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow." In other words, enjoy life - live it to its fullest potential!

Ernest Hemingway asked, “Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?" What a great question! Just think about it for a moment.

Take advantage of all the good around you. Smell the flowers indeed but do so much more. Enjoy family and friends. Do good. Appreciate beauty in its many forms. Take risks. As Auntie Mame taught us, we should "Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Don't forget your clocks

Tonight, before bedding down, don't forget your clocks.  Now I know that in some places, Daylight Saving Time is not observed, but for all the rest of you, be sure to set your clock ahead one hour.  (I think I'll take a nap this afternoon to make up for that lost hour of sleep).

Whether you observe Daylight Saving Time in your neck-of-the-woods or not, it's always a good reminder to replace those batteries in your home, especially the ones in your smoke detectors.  Also be sure to check to see if all your wall and table clocks are displaying the correct time as well as your phone and other electronic devices.

This isn't something I generally write about here, but how can you change the world if you don't even know the correct time?  Let's all do some incredible things this year!  Together we really can be instruments of change!