At the hospital

Some of you are aware that I volunteer at a local hospital where I live, and I was thinking of that when I got up this morning.  Occasionally I've shared stories here that are not my own, and this is one of those. This has been floating around on the internet, and I have no idea who wrote it, but please read on for a moving tale.
 

"Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for endless hours.

"They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, and where they had been on vacation.

 

"Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

 

"The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

 

"One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band, he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

 

"Days and weeks passed.

 

"One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

 

"As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

 

"Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall!

 

"The man called the nurse and asked her what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

 

She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'"

Great story, huh? As I said, the author of this is unknown. You may have even read it before, but I think it is worth seeing again. I was very moved when I first read this story, and I hope it touches you as well.  Do share this with others too. That's what encouragement is all about.

Sadness at a time of joy

Thanksgiving weekend is a time of joy for most Americans. Normally we gather together with family and friends and enjoy wonderful feasts while watching football and parades and preparing for a month of holiday parties. Hopefully we spend some of the day doing what the day was actually set aside for - giving thanks. There have been times though when this joyful holiday is also a day of sadness. 

Those of you old enough will recall that President John F Kennedy was shot and killed just five days before Thanksgiving back in 1963. The new President, Lyndon Johnson announced on Thanksgiving morning that Cape Canaveral, in Florida "shall be known hereafter as Cape Kennedy." (The old name was restored less than ten years later).

Already suffering great sadness for the 918 souls lost in the Jonestown, Guyana massacre, San Francisco was hit by another tragedy back in 1978 - the murder in City Hall of two elected officials. 

Today marks the anniversary of those assassinations of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk. People waking up on this date in 1978 saw a headline in the San Francisco Chronicle that read MOSCONE, MILK SLAIN--DAN WHITE IS HELD. Less than a month before Christmas, with San Francisco decorated in its holiday splendor, there was great sadness at a time of joy. 

Lately there has been a lot of negative news, including the shooting of two National Guardsmen yesterday and a horrible fire in Hong Kong where at least 75 people perished and many are still missing.  Our country seems more divided than I have ever seen it.  Still, on this Thanksgiving Day, even in the midst of so much sadness, there are still reasons to be thankful.

Never give up, I always say.  We can make things better.  We can create more and more reasons to give thanks!

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

Just about everyone is familiar with Clement Clarke Moore's classic poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and in a month, I'll be happy to share it here, but NOT NOW. I don't know when we got in such a hurry, but it isn't anything new. Each year though we seem to outdo each other by being earlier and earlier. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, and I'd like to concentrate on that for now.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Christmas! I always have and probably always will. When I was little, I was scared because of a horrible news story and Mom said to think of something happy. I thought of Christmas. Christmas makes me happy. This isn't Christmastime though. It certainly wasn't Christmastime when I saw those first decorations going up a couple of months ago!

I'm very traditional, and there might not be many more folks who think this way. In a month I will begin my Christmas festivities and they will continue until January 6th. For me, the twelve days of Christmas is the way to celebrate, but I may very well be alone in that thinking.

We do have a very fine holiday coming up tomorrow. I can begin tonight with this wonderful children's book featuring Farmer Mack Nuggett and his turkey farm. This is a delightful tale that this grown man pulls out each year, even though I am told that Dav Pilkey created it for little kids.  I guess there is a bit of kid in all of us!

Wheels on the bus go round and round

Back when I lived in San Francisco, I rode the bus nearly every day. There was a lot of complaining about the buses being crowded at certain times of day, or about them running late, but it was still a pretty good way to get around. When I saw the same driver and he or she would smile or call me by name, that was a nice warm connection that seemed to melt other problems away.

Dealing with so many people every day would seem to be a pretty tough job, and yet most of those bus drivers were so good at their task. It particularly warmed my heart when they gave you a "bonus" like the drivers that sang out the stops or who made those extra announcements, especially when there were some jokes thrown in.

Recently a friend of mine told me that he had lost his wallet while riding a bus. Losing money is never good, but when your ID and credit cards, and all those other things you carry are gone too, it can ruin your day. When the mail came a few days later, and it contained his wallet, that was a lovely surprise! Enclosed with it was a simple note: "I found this on my coach. Signed, Bus Driver." He wanted to get it back to its owner, but didn't care about any thanks, so didn't leave his name or any kind of identification. What a nice driver!

The operators of public transportation perform an important service. Too often we moan about the negative moments and ignore all the positive. The next time you ride a city bus or taxi, let your driver know they are appreciated.

Did you ever know that you're my hero

Remember when Bette Midler sang "Did you ever know that you're my hero"?  The song is Wind Beneath My Wings and numerous other artists recorded it, but the point I want to make is regarding its lyrics.  I think it is talking about a friend or relative, someone who is special and whom she considers her hero and her idol. There is nothing wrong with a little hero worship and I think everyone should have someone like she does!

 

A few months before my mother died, I was helping her set up a new telephone lifeline system and, as a backup password, they wanted to know the name of her hero.  Without hesitation Mom said "Dad," meaning her father.  How wonderful that long after he had died, my mother still looked at her father as her hero.

 

I write here often of people we might consider heroes.  Some are well known and some are folks that would only be known within their community.  What is it that make them a hero though and has anyone ever encouraged them to continue that behavior?  One of the things I like about that Bette Midler song is that it seems to be addressed directly to her hero.  How wonderful!  Let that person know what you think of them.  Oh they my blush and even say "aw shucks!" but acknowledging good behavior only encourages more of it, and that certainly can't be a bad thing!

The Good and the Bad

It seems like every day I wake up to a mixture of good and bad news. There seems to be more and more of the bad news.

Although Israel signed a ceasefire one year ago to end hostilities in Lebanon, today began with the Israeli military attacking the southern suburbs of Beirut. Casualties have been reported.

As we prepare for the celebration of Thanksgiving Day in the United States, we also just remembered the murder-suicide of Johnstown back in 1978, the loss of so many transgender souls do to hate, the murder of President John Kennedy, and we are approaching the anniversary of the assassination of two San Francisco politicians. That is only part of it.

I won't dwell on the bad or even mention the good. I just want to remind everyone of what I so often say here. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. So no to hate. Spread kindness and positivity. Do good. Say no to things that harm others. I'm going to keep trying to convince people that there are so many reasons to be nice to one another.

As Thanksgiving week begins, I have so much to be thankful for, and I hope you do too. Let's make that list grow. Let is fill our lives with good and work hard to eliminate the bad.  I know we can make things better.

That Day In Dallas

Those of you who are older than me, probably remember in great detail that day in Dallas. Dr Martin Luther King had given his “I Have A Dream” speech three months earlier.  Zip codes (“Zone Improvement Plan”) and touch-tone phones were pretty new.  Everyone was listening to The Beatles (or making fun of them).  We were still six months away from the first moon landing.  None of that really stands out for me in relation to November 22, 1963, but I remember the news from that day and from the days that followed.

My grandparents lived just two blocks from my elementary school, so it was there that I went when school closed early that day and they sent us home.  It was there where I spent much of the next few days too.  I remember watching the state funeral on television.  I remember all the talk about this John F Kennedy, that I didn't really know about - I was a kid.  They kept showing the events over and over though and so it is burned into my memory.  That day in Dallas is something I will never forget.

Over the years there have been other such events. Some of them have been good (like the first walk on the moon) and many have been bad (like so many other assassinations). It would be nice to think that only good things would come and that we would learn from the bad and that going forward, we wouldn't make the same mistakes. Sadly, that hasn't been the case.

Can we learn?  Can we find a way to love?  Can we stop the hate and the destruction?  What do YOU think?

Baby it's cold outside

Although winter doesn't officially come to the US until next month, the temperatures have already dipped in a number of places. Here in Arizona where I live, it's been down in the 30s every night this week, and we even had a significant snowfall already. Now is a good time to remember your farm animals or pets and to especially remember the homeless who are outside all the time.

Nice clean warm socks, sturdy shoes, and warm blankets to cover yourself, and of course a good sturdy overcoat are all so very helpful to those in need. A Texas organization called Project Warm Us can use donations and volunteers. Find out more at http://www.projectwarm.us/ A Nashville based organization called Soles4Souls distributes shoes to needy people and, I'm told is also now distributing coats. Their website is https://soles4souls.org/ There are churches and other organizations in communities across the country that do collections and give these things to the needy. Check around where you live, and if you don't find anything, consider beginning a program of your own. The thanks you get back will warm your hearts!

When I lived in San Francisco, we had an annual memorial for people who died outside on the street. Many of those died because of the cold. Most of those deaths could have been prevented. Let's step up and do something.

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, begun in 1999 to memorialize the murder of transgender woman Rita Hester in Allston, Massachusetts.  It has spread around the world with some places giving a more official recognition.  In Ontario, Canada the province unanimously passed the Trans Day of Remembrance Act in 2017, and the Legislative Assembly there is now required to hold a moment of silence every year on November 20.

So what else happens on this day? Typically, there is a reading of the names of those who lost their lives from November 20 of the former year to November 20 of the current year. Sometimes there are speakers, marches, and candlelight vigils. Newspapers will often devote a separate section today as well.

This is a sad occasion though - make no mistake about it.  Transphobic violence is a frightening occurrence that spreads fear to the transgender community and to their families and friends.  That violence so often leads to death.  Nobody should have to live in fear, yet many transgender people are even afraid to use public restrooms.  This needs to change, not only here in the United States, but around the world.  Trans violence is a hate crime that, when it occurs, needs to be fully prosecuted.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is an observance that I would like to see disappear, because the murder of our trans sisters and brothers needs to stop.  We can do it.  Take a stand against hate.  Don't let it continue.

changes

If you are reading this blog for the very first time, it isn't one that shares details of my world travels or my cooking adventures or my musical ability or even my athletic abilities.  In fact, as the name indicates, this blog is NOT about me.  It is about all of us doing something powerful - making a difference.  People talk about changing the world and you know what?  We ALL have the power!  We ALL can give back.

Changes don't have to be huge ones.  Changes don't have to involves a lot of people.  Changes don't have to cost a lot of money.  The change we are talking about is making things better for ourselves and for those who come after us.  We see a need and we fill it.  This is OUR world - we should all want to make it better!

Over the years I have highlighted ideas, organizations, and individuals that have helped make things better.  I don't have all of the answers of course and from time to time I have asked for your suggestions.  This morning, I am asking again.  Do you know of an individual or organization that is doing great things?  Do you have some ideas of how to make life better for us all?  I'd really love to hear from you!

The Tragedy of Jonestown

It is with great sadness for the 918 souls lost at The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, better known by its informal name "Jonestown," that I always think back on this date. Most of those who died by forced suicide that day were originally from the San Francisco area, where I lived. The news was hard to take wherever you lived, but particularly difficult in the Bay Area.

Nearly half of Jonestown residents were black women and 304 residents were minors.  What kind of lives might they have lived?  What kinds of things would they be doing now in 2025?

I always think of former Representative Jackie Speier at this time of year too.  She spent a lifetime of public service and was with Representative Leo Ryan when they went to investigate Jonestown.  Speir survived five gunshot wounds while Ryan was assassinated.  He had been shot more than twenty times.  I think also of NBC News correspondent Don Harris and NBC News cameraman Bob Brown who were shot at the same time as Ryan.

How many of you remember that day?  How many of you were born since then?  How might those 900+ people have interacted with you over these past years.  How much, if anything, have we learned since then about cults and about blind faith in those who might do us harm.  Could another tragedy like this happen again?  What do YOU think?

Pollyanna?

To say that I am too Pollyanna, as some have, is not only insulting, but also inaccurate. The heroine of Eleanor H. Porter's famous 1913 novel "Pollyanna," was indeed an optimist and probably a bit too much of one. I am optimistic, but also realistic. I believe in good but know that life is not always sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows.  

There is something else here though - usually we think of Pollyanna as someone who considers themselves better than others, and with me, that is certainly not the case.  I never seek fame or attention.  I don't try to set myself as an authority.  My suggestions here each day are just that and seldom (this being one of those rare occasions) do I even talk about myself here.  This is NOT about me.

This is about all of us though.  ALL of us.  This is about making a bright future.  This is about caring.  This is about change.  This is about love and respect.  This is about justice and equality.  This is about making a difference in our world.  We all have the power to do this and we can me reasonably optimistic that positive things are going to happen.  Optimism is not a bad thing.  Working for good - working for sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows, can never be a bad thing.

Perhaps we are all a bit Pollyanna, or want to be.  The important thing is to never give up and to always strive for the good that we deserve and that is certainly there, if we let it be.

Miss Sally

Back when I was a teenager, I met an elderly woman who was shopping for groceries. The store should have offered to help her with her bags, but they didn't. I'm ashamed to say that I didn't offer either. When she asked if I could give her a hand, I happily carried her bags to her car. It turned out my family's house was near hers, so I went home with her and carried her bags in and then walked home.

Before I left, she invited me to have a slice of pie "for my assistance." I told her how delicious it was and she invited me to come over the next day for some other goodie. She told me she baked something just about every day but didn't have anyone to share it with.

Her name was Miss Sally, and she became a good friend. I'd go over and mow her lawn or help her clean her floors. Sometimes we just sat and talked. There were at least seventy years between our ages, but somehow, we always found something to talk about. I also enjoyed a lot of pies. cakes, and cookies. Miss Sally sometimes gave me something to take home. I'm not sure if I really gave much to her, although onetime she said thank you for helping her not be lonely.

That was a long time ago. I'm so glad I met her. If I truly helped her be less lonely, I'm glad. She really gave a lot to me. It wasn't just the baked goods, or even the conversations. Miss Sally gave me a lot of wonderful memories that I cherish to this day!

Joyful moments

How much joy do you have in your life? I'm not talking about money or wealth or how many friends you have or how well known you are. I'm talking about genuine bliss. What brings you happiness? Do you even take the time for joy or are you to busy with the kids or the job or trying to impress someone?

I've only lived in this neck of the woods for a few years, so I am frequently discovering new things.  On my daily morning walk, I go in different directions and sometimes encounter small animals, especially rabbits or lizards, or I might see some gorgeous flowers or other plant life. It's amazing. I have found myself smiling at some pretty simple things, even at the window of a newly opened downtown business.

Of course beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder.  What brings joy to one person may not be joyful to others.  Take some time though and enjoy your beauties, wherever and whatever they may be.  Joyful moments seem to be more and more frequent. Want to be happy? Allow yourself to be! That may seem odd, but seriously, take the time. Allow yourself some joyful moments. You deserve it!

You want an award?

Those favorites who entertain us are rewarded with Tonys, Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, Golden Globes, and other recognition.  We give awards to our students in school.  Some jobs give special praise to employees.  How about the masses of society?  I think we need one more big award for those everyday people among us who truly make a difference in our world.

The architect who designed your workplace might have incredible skills, but does the general public hear about it?  How about your daughter's third grade teacher?  The person who served you those fries and burgers at your favorite fast food place might be incredible, but does he get acknowledged for it?  During this pandemic there are many people who are stepping up and doing amazing things, but are we hearing about them?

I love how some television stations do hometown heroes features, but I'm not talking about just those who rise to that level.  I'm thinking more of the "best waitress I have ever been served by" or the preeminent delivery driver or the unrivaled parking lot attendant.  There are people in this world who make a difference every day by simply being outstanding at the work they do and the way they interact with others.  Don't you think that is award worthy?

They who served

It was November 11, 1918, the end of “the war to end all wars.” The following year, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day, saying "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations." In 1954, it became Veterans Day.

This is not a day about war or about loss of life. Today honors military veterans regardless of whether they served during a time of conflict or peace, and it isn't about those who perished in the line of duty (Memorial Day honors those people). Today is for all persons who served in the United States Armed Forces. It used to feature parades, and speeches, and special tributes to military personnel and usually still does in many communities. In recent years retail stores use it as an excuse for a sale. One positive thing is that more and more businesses do special things for veterans on this day. Numerous restaurants across the country are giving away free meals to veterans today, for example.  

You'll see a lot of mention on social media today about veterans, and certainly it's a very good thing to join in that. I hear "thank you for your service" said often, but it is especially appropriate today.  Say thank you to a vet!

good

The world is full of good. I know that sometimes it's very hard to believe that, but despite the continuing pandemic, and all the train wrecks and earthquakes and gang shoot outs and the war, and despite all the prejudice and hate crimes and negativity, there are still some marvelous things happening out there.

Now don't get me wrong.  I don't walk around with blinders on, and I don't think everything is wonderful.  I do think that everything should be wonderful, and I do think that if we all work at it we can make some wonderful changes for the better.  I've been saying that here for years!

Just this morning while I was drinking my coffee, I read about a school program that a student began, and which will help many impoverished people. Ellen's talk show used to give me daily examples.  (I miss her).  I am privileged to know a number of people who are always doing fundraisers for charity or who are volunteer for this cause or that.  Yes, we can always use more, but don't lose sight of what is already out there.

 

Have you some particular examples of good you would like to share with us?  I'd love to hear some stories that we might not otherwise hear.  Please add your own examples of good in the comments below. 

What's on your mind?

What is on your mine these days?  I sit down every single morning and write something here but seldom hear any comments or suggestions.  Perhaps nobody is reading this anymore.  

There is a lot happening in our world and on this Sunday morning I see so many stories in the news that make me sad.  Bad things are happening all around.  There is still good reason to be happy, because the world is NOT all bad.  There are still good things and we still have heroes out there.

Help me brighten the world by sharing some of that good.  Tell us some of the positive experiences that you have recently had.  Tell us about the people in your life who are doing good things and helping to make this a better world.

On know there is a lot of good.  I'm certain of it!  Come on!  What's on your mind?

Looking out for elders too

When we think of bullying, the kids in the hall at school usually come to mind, right?  It isn't just limited to youth. Anyone can be the victim of bullying, and a growing number of senior citizens have been targets. 

For those living in senior communities, it can especially be a problem and includes such things as fraud and elder abuse. The bullying I am talking about isn't always senior to senior. Sometimes the children of elders are bullies and sometimes the bully can be a caregiver.  It even happens in assisted living centers.

 

Nobody should have to endure bullying.  You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to your grandmother, would you?  We shouldn't want to see anything bad happen to anyone!  We need to speak up.  We need to look out for senior citizens, because bullying can be devastating at any age.  In the case of our elders it can often be worse because they may be frail and have other health issues.  Don't be a bully and don't allow bullying to happen.

Roses are red - sometimes

Roses are red (and violets are blue), says the poem. Indeed they are.  Sometimes though they might be pink or white or yellow or a number of other colors, including a mixed color. I think the most stunning rose color is lavender, and it smells so very nice as well!

I'm thinking of roses this morning because I happened to pass some gorgeous ones on my early walk. I just wanted to stop and soak in the beauty. It's no wonder people love to send and to receive these wonderful flowers. Oh my!  It's even pleasant to pick up a nice bouquet for yourself.

Oh and this is in keeping with the theme of this blog. If you plant beautiful flowers, you are certainly helping to make this a more beautiful world. Such a simple thing, huh? Of course there are many flower possibilities. Do you have a favorite? If I were to send you a bouquet, what flowers would you want included?  I like the ones in this picture.

Dr King said

We all know that The Rev Dr Martin Luther King, Jr was a very wise leader who is often quoted. I have certainly quoted his wise words here many times over the years.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  It's one of his most quoted statements, and one of my favorites.  Truly this world can use more light and more love!  I really am sick and tired of all the hate, but like Dr King I believe things will get better if we all unite.

By the way, this is one of my favorite quotes of all time.  Think about it as you go through your day.  If you are a particular fan of Dr King, you might also like "Thou, Dear God": Prayers That Open Hearts and Spirits Collection of Dr. King's prayers. (2011), edited by Dr Lewis Baldwin.

Adapt a shelter animal

Looking for an animal to add to your household?  Consider adopting a shelter animal.  I have written here a number of times about pet adoption, but you really cannot say enough.  It is one of those win-win situations - there are many advantages.  Click HERE for some general information from the Humane Society.

A word or two about shelters (which some refer to as the "pound," short for impoundment).  Animal shelters provide a safe and caring environment until the animal is either reclaimed by its owner or adopted by a new owner.  While we often hear about shelters euthanizing animals (and this does indeed happen in many public shelters when animals are not adopted with a certain time period), most private shelters are run as no-kill shelters.

Animals deserve love and affection though.  Just because they are not going to be euthanized, does not mean they should continue in a shelter.  Yes, they generally are well feed and provided for, but animals deserve more than that.  They deserve love and attention.  In return, they usually GIVE love and attention to their care-givers.

Ask your co-workers.  Talk to your friends.  Do a little reading.  I'm certain that everything you hear about adopting a shelter animal will say the same thing.  It will warm your heart and it will warm theirs too!

what's your favorite day?

Tomorrow is the time of week we often refer to as Hump Day. For those working Monday through Friday jobs or those going to school each day, Wednesday falls right in the middle, so once we pass it, we are over the hump. Of course that would only be true if you hate your job. If you love it, you probably can't get enough.

Back in the 80s, the Canadian rock band Loverboy sang Everybody's working for the weekend. We would seem to be saying the same thing. Weekdays just aren't very nice!

Monday gets the most complaints. It is the day after the weekend of course. It's the day on which people go back to school or to work. People say they dread those Mondays.

So, what's your favorite day? I suppose many would choose Wednesday because of that hump thing (which has nothing to do with camels, except that they too have humps. How often can I post a picture of a camel here though)? Many are going to like Friday best because they are completing their week. Saturday or Sunday of course get high marks because that is what everyone is working toward. I submit though that if you are really hating those weekdays that much, something needs to change. Is your job or schoolwork really that unfulfilling? Do something about it!

Yesterday I had a great day, and it was a Monday! How about you? Was yesterday really all that bad? Think about it. Every single day of the week can be good. Let's work on making it that way. Perhaps a good start would be if we all tried to brighten the day of other people!

I can almost smell the turkey!

November is the favorite month of the year for many, and Thanksgiving Day is a big reason why. Since I was just a kid I have always loved Thanksgiving and while I know it is still a couple weeks away, I can almost smell the turkey now! Even though we still have a few weeks to go, I thought I'd take a moment to talk about what it all means.

First of all, as much as I love turkey, I really don't like the nickname "Turkey Day." Thanksgiving is so much more of course. (Not to mention that not everyone eats turkey, although I don't know why). As much fun as the football games are, and the huge feast, and the preparations for Christmas, the big thing is coming together and giving thanks. Some other countries do similar observances, but only Canada does pretty much the same customs as in the US, except that theirs is a bit earlier, in October.  The holiday has traditionally been a celebration of the blessings of the (agricultural) year, including the harvest. More recently a lot of folks have included all blessings that have come their way during the year (and some folks, during their lifetime).  Families generally gather to celebrate and often in larger number than at any other time during the year.  This year because of the pandemic there will be less travel and perhaps a lot of zoom Thanksgivings.

 

So giving thanks and being together with family and friends is what it's all about.  Now of course we didn't have to wait until today.  Being thankful all the time would be great.  2020 has been a crazy year, but there have been good things along the way.  If you are reading this, one good thing is that you are still around.  Let's always be thankful, not on just one day!

Remembering them

All Souls' Day is a day of prayer and remembrance for the faithful departed. It is also sometimes called The Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed.

Many places seem to have merged the three days of Allhallowtide, which I think is a shame. I have always felt that remembering our dead is such a good thing, regardless of your faith tradition (or lack of one). Of the three days, this is the one most often left out.

Today I will be thinking of my mother and my father, but also other family members who have passed away. I will also be remembering all my friends who have died and the famous people and the unknown. Every single life is precious, and how wonderful it is to remember the souls of all those who have come before us.

Many folks will be in church today, especially it being a Sunday. Many will head to cemeteries afterward. Do you have any personal traditions for All Souls' Day? Feel free to share them here.

I mean to be one too

Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us. This one verse from Ecclesiasticus, used to be read every year on All Saints' Day, because it gives a good summary of what the day is all about. A passage from the Revelation to Saint John also helps explain the day. "These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." 

Of course, a good preacher might be explaining the whole All Saints' Day concept to us, or we can look to a wonderful hymn that does an excellent job telling the story.  Written by a young Englishwoman, Lesbia Scott and first published back in 1929, "I sing a song of the saints of God" clearly sets out what All Saints' Day is all about. 

Today we honor all the saints, known and unknown. In the belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and those still living, we honor not only the named saints (such as those pictured in the icon here), but all the faithful. The word "all" is important to me here because I firmly believe that it is not just about the Blessed Virgin Mary, Blessed Paul the Apostle, Blessed Francis of Assisi, and the rest. It is about every single one of us because we all have the ability to do good things and to make a difference. 

Lesbia Scott's words seem to say the same thing. She lists a doctor, a queen, and a shepherdess in her first verse and then continues the list adding a soldier and a priest and one who was slain, in verse number two. It's really the third verse though that give me the greatest hope: 

"They lived not only in ages past,

There are hundreds of thousands still.

The world is bright with the joyous saints

Who love to do Jesus' will.

You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,

In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;

For the saints of God are just folk like me,

And I mean to be one too."

There's the kicker: "And I mean to be one too." Yes, today is a celebration of the various saints down through the ages, but that is only part of it. "They lived not only in ages past, There are hundreds of thousands still."  Celebration?  Certainly.  Today though is also an invitation.  "And I mean to be one too."

Different kind of Halloween

We all know about the traditional Halloween custom of dressing up and going door to door for candy.  It's called trick or treat because if a treat doesn't come our way (usually some kind of candy) we play a trick like toilet paper in their bushes or a few eggs thrown against their door.  I've told you before about another way to do the day though and it seems much more positive.

 

I've heard it called Backward Halloween, but it is such a good thing, it would hardly be backward.  Reverse Halloween is another way of describing it.  Instead of expecting something for you, give something to someone else.  Make it a day of volunteer service.  Help a neighbor.  Assist some of your friends with various projects.  All kinds of ideas make it a very productive experience.  Remember of course to follow safe practices, including masking (not just the Halloween kind).

 

Oh and the usual candy?  Well, instead of collecting candy, we could distribute candy.  Buy several bags of those small candy bars and go up and down your streets.  Visit some of the shops and restaurants too. Go to the fire stations, hospitals, offices, and libraries, and even to a senior center.  Don't expect people to give something to you, but instead give something to them.

 

You will be surprised at how many smiles you will generate with this different kind of Halloween.  Save something for yourself and salute your own good effort with a well-deserved treat!

The Triduum of Allhallowtide

Just the mention of the triduum of Allhallowtide probably has you scratching your head, but that is what is coming up beginning tomorrow. We first have Halloween, then All Saints' Day, and finally All Souls' Day. This started out as a Christian observance. These days, while there is certainly still a Christian celebration of All Saints, the rest has become very commercialized and secularized.

Remembering the dead, especially our own family members, is a wonderful part of the three day observance. This particularly gets attention on the last of the three days. Many Catholic and Anglican churches will have special masses on All Souls' Day to pray for the departed.

Halloween gets the most attention of course. In some places, it is practically an actual holiday! People dress up in costumes and attend parties, and it isn't just for the kids anymore! Oh and don't be surprised to find traditional foods like potato pancakes, caramel apples, colcannon (a traditional Irish dish made of mashed potatoes and kale), cider, popcorn balls, and soul cakes. There are numerous Halloween customs and trick-or-treating (going door to door in costume and asking for candy "treats") is probably the best known.  I'll tell you about another idea here tomorrow.

I could easily go on and on about the many associated traditions for these upcoming three days, but why not look into it a bit yourself? Oh, and whatever you do, be safe and have a positive experience.

Everyone smiles in the same language

I am convinced that there is just not enough happiness in the world. Why? No matter how bad anything is, there is always reason to go on. Things can always get better.

I know. Someone is going to say, "What if the doctor says you have only a few days to live"? Well, doctors can be wrong. I have heard many stories confirming that very fact. I even know a woman who was told just after her 60th birthday, that it would be her last. In fact, she was told she had only a few months to live. That woman is now 93!

We so often have trouble trusting these days. We have difficulty communicating too. Does he speak the same language as I do? Will we understand the meaning of our intentions? All of these things are valid of course, but one thing we seem to overlook. Happiness is easy to spot and easy to understand. Happiness is very easy to spread too. Happy people are more likely to make others happy.

Whatever part of the world you come from - whatever your race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, or eye color, one thing is universal. We all smile in the same language!

The purpose of life

What is the purpose of life? Have you ever heard that question asked?  Why are we here?  How should we act?  Should we be ruthless and dishonest and claw our way past others to get the biggest piece of the pie?  What are we expected to do during our lifetime?

You probably already know my answer to the above questions.   I think we are all here to each make a difference for the better. We all should contribute to the common good, but that's just my opinion. 

It would seem that the great essayist, lecturer, and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson agreed. It was he who said “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

What do YOU think is the purpose of life?

have I got some questions for you!

How are we doing with this blog? When do you read it? Who do you think we should mention here? What kinds of things have we left out? Where might we find more hometown heroes? Why is this even important? When will more folks get involved? How can folks interact here?  Oh, and what about the past two days here?

I prefer writing encouraging things.  It's so nice to tell the positive stories of people making a difference.  Occasionally though I see some bad things that simply must be addressed.  Any thoughts about what I wrote here yesterday and the day before?

Okay, so there are a lot of questions I can ask about this blog. You may have questions of your own. Right under each day's entry is a space that says comments. Write something there. Ask a question or make a comment. I have a never-ending supply of questions, but I certainly don't have all the answers. Perhaps you can help.

There are tons of ways we can give back of course. I humbly offer some suggestions that come to mind or tell you about some folks who have done a stellar job of being a superstar, but I need your help. I would love to know about some of the really positive people you may have encountered. Who is a hero to you? Tell us the what, when, where, and why too!  

Those are my questions for you today.  Remember you can use that comment section to ask questions of me.  

It's not just about the wallet

Donations make a difference - I've said so for years, but there is more than just money.  Some folks want to contribute but simply can't afford to give money.  Of course, there are clothing drives and toy drives and food bank collections.  These are all ways to give without necessarily dipping into your wallet.  There is also the giving of your time and your talent - a very valuable gift.

 

But wait!  There is more than just the tangible.  The sense of belonging to a cause of joining it and becoming a part of it, is very important.  I personally do fundraising walk-a-thons regularly and one of the big things for me is the getting together with other committed folks.  Sharing information and visibility are important for most any cause.

When you get those emails or phone calls asking you to give, it doesn't have to be about your wallet.  If it is something you are passionate about, there are other ways to make a difference.  These days there are a lot of folks rallying around political causes too.  Whatever rings a bell for you, don't despair that you are unable to give money.  Instead, think of other ways you can do good and get involved.  There is always a way to give back!

Lots of folks will be asking for money on these last months of the year.  Something for us all to think about.

The Twenty

I have told this story before about how special we all are, but I really like it and some of you might not have read my blog the day I told this before, so here it is again.  A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

 

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

As I mentioned above, I am retelling this wonderful story, and the first time I posted it, it was a retelling too. I have no idea who first told it - it's been circulating on the internet for some time.  The significant thing is the messages it brings.  We are all special.  We should all count our blessings, and NOT our problems!

Be the spark

I love it when folks post encouraging things on social media. Encouraging others, I think actually encourages ourselves. Sometimes I read a long and very profound message, and other times it is short and to the point. ("Be Kind"). There always seem to be more encouraging messages around the holidays and especially as the new year begins.  How about now though?  I think we can all use some encouragement in the summer too.

This morning as I looked at my X feed, this jumped out at me: "All it takes is a single spark to build a fire. Commit to being that spark in your community and make a difference." Wow! I couldn't have said it any better.  That's the kind of encouragement I'm talking about.

 

Be the spark.  Isn't that what we talk about here every day - being the spark? More and more I see folks agreeing, and I think this world is getting better each day!  Let's all keep encouraging each other.  Let's all keep making a difference!

Just because

"Why are you doing this?" I heard him ask. "Just because," was her simple reply. "Just because."

You can say you are giving back because you want to change the world or because you want to make a difference. You can say you want to see a smile on the face of others or that you enjoy doing things for people. You can say that random acts of kindness help make things better for all of us and you are simply passing them on. Of course, you don't have to give any reason at all! Just pay it forward .   .   . just because.

Oh, those wonderful kind deeds we do for other people. They sure do brighten up the day!

How many of those just because things can you think of? How about taking an acquaintance to dinner, sponsoring someone in a fundraising walk-a-thon, donating time at a senior center, saying something nice to everyone you meet during your day, or donating blood? What other random acts of kindness can you think of? Add your suggestions in the comments section below.

In times of personal crisis

One of the most rewarding things I do is volunteer at a local hospital.  I know this blog is NOT about me, but I simply must share how good the volunteer experience is.  I see men and women from their teen years up into their senior years (there was actually a women in her mid 90s volunteering until recently) doing all sorts of tasks around the hospital.

 

Occasionally I have encountered visitors or patients crying in the hospital hallways.  The other day I saw a familiar face, a lady I have run into several times.  The very first time I saw her she asked for a hug.  Now she tells people I'm a good hugger.  This time she had tears.  Her husband is nearing the end of his life.  I listened.  I wish I could have done more.  Sometimes just quietly listening is helpful.  I saw her again a few hours later.  She was smiling,  Her husband was going home that day and the doctor had referred them to a hospice program.  I listened to her news and then we hugged again.

 

There are happy moments, like when someone is healed from injury or when a new baby is born, but all too often I meet people in times of personal crisis.  I try to help as best I can, but there are times when I don't think I have done enough.  We have a small gift shop that is staffed by volunteers.  Information is given to visitors at the front desk and at other locations by volunteers.  The other day a doctor stopped me in a hall just to say thanks.  He told me he is grateful for volunteers and all the things we do.  It's true that we do many tasks all around the hospital, but I really like being in the hallways, whether transporting a patient to be discharged, hearing a compliment from a physician, or giving a hug to a worried wife.

 

Hospitals can be difficult places, but I will keep volunteering.  I think volunteers make a difference.  It's not just what we give.  We also get such a good feeling back!

Babies Don't Hate

This is a baby. Yes, I know that is obvious, but there are a few other obvious things about babies that I would like to point out.

 

Babies don't hate you because of your skin color and they don't hate you because of your race or your gender identity or your sexual orientation. Babies don't hate you because of your weight or your religion or your sex. Yes, it may be obvious, but in fact babies don't hate you for any reason at all! Do you know why? They don't understand the concept. They don't know how to hate.

 

A wonderful article several years ago titled See Baby Discriminate said that children as young as six months could judge others based on their skin color. Where are they getting these ideas? Who is teaching our children? The answer of course is that we are. We are teaching discrimination. We are teaching hate. We are taking away the innocence of our children.

 

Parents and teachers are not bad. That's not my message here. What I am saying is that babies come into the world without any notion of hate. Let's not give it to them!

crumpled paper

You may recall this story. I've told it here before, but I really like it. It is a story that has been told and retold over the years. It's about a teacher who was telling her class about bullying and gave them an exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up, but not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they are sorry.

 

Okay, that may seem rather odd - talking to a piece of paper, but think of the deeper meaning here.  Sometimes a child who is bullied will later receive apologies, but the damage has already been done. In this exercise, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child - they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.

Bullying isn't just done by kids of course and it isn't somehow worse in some cases than in others.  ALL bullying is bad.  ALL bullying hurts and damages another person.  ALL bullying needs to stop.  We have heard a lot in recent years about the bullying of gay kids, but let me be clear. While gay kids are so often the targets of bullies, ALL bullying is bad. We need to get rid of it ALL.  Even when it comes from famous people or from elected officials.

I have been writing here for just over sixteen years and often speak out about bullying.  Have my words made a difference?  The kids in that classroom certainly learned an important lesson. The looks on the faces of the children told their teacher that the message had indeed hit home. I hope this hits home with all of you too.  What can we all do to help end the bullying?   

That's beautiful!

Did you ever look out your car window and say "That's beautiful!"? How about taking a walk through the community where you live and you stumble across a scene that moves you because it's just lovely?  The "beautiful" here in this picture is from the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, not far from where I once lived.

Here in Arizona where I live now, there is a lot of beauty too.  Even in the wide-open desert there is beauty.  I seem to see beauty everywhere I go.  It's not just on the ground or in the sky.

Beauty can be on the buildings and even on the clothing that people are wearing, and lest we forget, beauty can be within the people we encounter, too (even when we are wearing masks).  It's actually very rare to find a person who does not have beauty within.  You don't have to even look hard - just open your eyes and open your heart.

If we all take a moment to see the beauty that is all around us, I very certain we will realize how beautiful this great world of ours is!

Be a blessing

We can all make a difference in the lives of those around us.  Let's get with it!  Don't hesitate!  Today will never come again.  We really shouldn't put things off.  Be a blessing.  Encourage others.  Be a friend.  Smile.  Share the love.  Take the time to care.  Make someone feel special.

Imagine how much good you can do just by caring!  Imagine.  It's doesn't need to take a lot of time.  It just takes an open heart.

During this summer, in the midst of a lot of bad news, we can still be a blessing to each other.  Things are never too bad for us to do good.  I won't sugar-coat it and say everything will be back to normal soon (although things have obviously improved from a year ago). great right away, but if we all pitch in and do good, we will see a difference. We might not ever see things the way they once were, but that does not mean things won't be good.  Let's make it so.

If every single one of us did something encouraging every day, the positive changes would be incredible!  Being a friend is one of the most powerful things we can ever do.  Starting off a brand-new month, let's all resolve to make this world a happier and healthier place in which to live.

what is the color of happiness?

First of all, tell me, are you happy?  Is there something special that makes you happy?  Don't take a lot of time.  There might be several things or perhaps you are just a happy person.  Now, close your eyes for a moment and think of that happiness.  Does a color emerge?  Red?  Pink?  Blue?  What is the color of happiness?

 

Now you may think that I have lost my mind, but there is a point I want to make.  Science might say that there is indeed a happy color.  I say happiness is EVERY color, because happiness is EVERYwhere!  Yeah, we all have bad days and it's certainly normal to feel down sometimes, but even when things are bad, there can be happiness.  Broke but have a family to cook for?  Well happiness can come from knowing how to prepare a wonderful meal for just pennies.  

Have you ever seen a homeless man with a big grin and wondered what he could possibly be happy about?  There are so many reasons to be happy.  So very many.

 

Am I blue?  That usually means depressed.  So blue is a bad color?  No way!  I say they are all good.  Look around you and see all the beauty.  Smile at the abundance of colors.  Be happy.