It's NOT about me

no hate!

2012-02-19T08:16:00.000-08:00

One thing in this world that I simply don't understand is hate. What good is it? Does it solve any of the world's problems? Does it feel good? Does it feed your children, or comfort you on cold nights? Does it cure illness? Does it make our society any better? Does it earn you any money or pay any of your bills? Of course the answer is NO!

I am reminded of an old Edwin Starr song. "War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothin'!" The same is certainly true of hate. It is good for nothing at all!

In the past few weeks I have seen and heard so many hateful things. There was the vetoing of marriage equality in New Jersey for example. There was also the racist headline regarding Jeremy Lin. (Actually there have been numerous racist comments about Lin). All week long everyone has been gossiping about Whitney Houston and bringing up all of the late star's faults - even making things up or guessing if actual information was not available. I have to ask myself why. Why do we feel the need to say hurtful and hateful things?

Can't we just stop?

Smell the flowers along the way

2012-02-18T08:14:00.000-08:00

I used to close my radio show by saying “Smell the flowers along the way. They’re only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow.” Of course I realize this blog is NOT about me, but I was thinking about that line the other day when I ran into a man I know working on his hands and knees in a San Francisco alley. He was picking up trash, but soon after he was tending to the plants. I asked if this was his new job, and he replied that it was a labor of love.

If you are a regular reader here you know we talk about making a difference in the world – about giving back. Well this friend of mine has turned out to be quite a giver! It seems that all the plants and flowers in this mini-park were planted by him and he comes by daily and waters them and also picks up after all the litterbugs. His time and his money bring so much joy to others through this beautiful space.

There are folks who volunteer regularly to help with neighborhood cleanups and that can be quite rewarding. This is that same kind of thing on a higher level. How wonderful it is to know someone who is so giving! It is acts like this that I hope will encourage others to get involved and to give back, in whatever way best suits them.

Mother's bill

2012-02-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

A story for you today that is not mine. I'm not sure who wrote this. It's been floating around for years, but it just might touch you and perhaps even make you think -

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00 For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00 For going to the store for you: $.50 Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $.25 Taking out the garbage: $1.00 For getting a good report card: $5.00 For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00 Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge

For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge

For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge

For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge

For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge Son, when you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you."

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL".

Don't be a taker - be a giver (like this mother). It is so much more rewarding!

heart health

2012-02-16T08:07:00.000-08:00

We're talking hearts today, but not about Valentines (that was a few days ago) - today it is heart HEALTH. February is the month every year devoted especially to your healthy heart.

There are tons of resources online, but may I suggest starting HERE. This is the American Heart Association website and it is chock full of ideas of how you can be more heart healthy.

Do you smoke? STOP! Are you overweight? LOOSE SOME POUNDS! Many of the suggestions are such obvious things as this. Your own doctor can help you even more.

This month make and effort to become more heart healthy - for yourself, but also for you family and friends!

equality is spreading

2012-02-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

Currently six states and the District of Columbia allow same-sex marriages: New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Iowa. California used to be on the list and so did Maine. Sadly, that was changed. Everyone deserves the right to marry though and things do seem to be changing. New York State has not been on the list very long and a couple of additional states may soon be added.

Last week Washington state passed legislation allowing same-sex marriage. Gov. Christine Gregoire signed the bill into law on Monday, but it will not take effect until at least June. Opponents are working to gather signatures for a ballot initiative in November that would block the legislation.

Also last week, a federal appeals court in California overturned that state's gay marriage ban, enacted through a 2008 ballot initiative. That sets up a possible show down in the US Supreme Court over the matter, and marriages are still on hold pending this legal action.

Some of the best news this week comes from the Maryland and New Jersey statehouses where votes are expected (both in the affirmative), although the governors may very well veto.

So the news is not ALL good, but it seems that marriage equality is finally spreading and recent polls show much more support than just a few years ago. That is good news indeed.

happy Valentine's Day!

2012-02-14T08:04:00.000-08:00

Today is the day for love: Valentine's Day! Share the love - make someone smile. It doesn't have to be romantic and it doesn't have to cost money. There are so many simple ways to make a difference today.

Remember the small simple cards you exchanged on this day back when you were in elementary school? Well, you can do the same thing as an adult. Remember those small chocolates that you can get wrapped in bags at your local drugstore? Well, there're still around and cost very little.

Sometimes just a quick email with kind wishes makes a big difference! Use your imagination. See what you can do to make this day memorable for others.

Names

2012-02-13T08:18:00.000-08:00

San Francisco gay rights activist Cleve Jones was one of the organizers of the annual march remembering George Moscone and Harvey Milk, and at one of those he thought of the many who had already died of AIDS. Cleve and other marchers wrote names of the dead on placards and when the march was over, they taped those placards up on the walls of the San Francisco Federal Building. The huge names list looked like a patchwork quilt, and Cleve was inspired. It was soon afer that he created the first panel for what would become the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and not long after that, joined by Michael Smith, they formally organized the NAMES Project Foundation.

Every day in this blog I write about making a difference in the world - about giving back - about contributing to others. The AIDS Memorial Quilt is such of good example of this. So is the current hosting of quilt panels here in San Francisco at several locations. Love. Being in the presence of the panels and hearing the names being read - it is experiencing love, true love.

Beginning at noon yesterday, a traditional unfolding ceremony was held with the reading of thousands of names of those memorialized with a quilt. This showing marks the AIDS Memorial Quilt's 25th anniversary. Come out and view the panels, if you are in the area. Find out more too at http://www.aidsquilt.org/

Rest in peace Whitney

2012-02-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

Sad news came yesterday: the death of singer-actress Whitney Houston at the age of 48. Everywhere I went last night and everyone I spoke to, talked about Whitney's music, her smile and her talent, her drug problems and her troubled marriage, and their memories of this legendary performer.

Members of the New Jersey church where Whitney got her start came together this morning to mourn her sudden death. She began singing at the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark as a child, and while parishioners had fond memories of her many performances there over the years, they said her longtime membership and service to the church is what they will never forget. Gospel singer Cissy Houston, Whitney's mother, had led the music program at the 112-year-old church and Whitney’s cousin, Dionne Warwick, also sang at one time in its choir.

The negative comments began last night about how Whitney had brought on many of her problems. This morning, let's not look at that or the troubles that were part of her life. Instead, let us join with her church sisters and brothers and remember the warm joyous moments that she brought us.

May she rest in peace!

A Leg Up

2012-02-11T08:14:00.000-08:00

Awww They sure are cute, huh? They are also safe, thanks to A Leg Up Rescue, a nonprofit organization here in the San Francisco area that is dedicated to rescuing dogs and cats from life-threatening situations. I have seen first-hand some of what they do, and it is heartwarming to say the least.

Animals that have been in danger of being euthanized in animal shelters, as well as many that were neglected or abused, are given a true "leg up" by this wonderful organization. They don't have a shelter or kennel, but place the pets in wonderful and compassionate foster homes so they may begin to develop exceptional house behavior. The happy pictures on their website really tell the tale. (Or should that be tail, because they certainly are wagging)!

We talk hare about making a difference, and this is one organization that truly does that! Check out A Leg Up Rescue HERE and get involved or make a donation. You will be bringing happiness to a dog or cat who really needs it.

Don't get mad

2012-02-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

Did you ever find yourself behind a very slow customer at the checkout counter? You may have seen this, even if it didn’t ever happen to you. A customer has everything on the counter and the clerk is ringing it up, when suddenly the customer runs off saying “I forgot something.” The line is now frozen as everyone waits for that customer to return, and when he does, it seems he has a pocket full of coins that he wants to use first before going to the currency or even a credit card. It takes forever to finally reach the counter for your turn. Did you ever have an experience like that? Did you lose your temper?

Did you ever have one of those moments in traffic where everything has stopped for no apparent reason and cars are just sitting there? Everyone starts honking their horns. People are yelling things and making obscene gestures. Have you ever been in a situation like this?

Sometimes in our daily lives there can be stressful moments that push us to the moment where we want to scream. Most of us have had these moments, but what can we do about them? Well, if we become exceptionally mad about something and begin acting violently, then we are probably in need of some type of counseling and anger management. On those lesser occasions, it might take a much simpler solution.

My mother is now 84 years old. She doesn’t move as fast as she once did. Sometimes when I am in that checkout counter situation, I think to myself, what if that were my mother ahead of me. How would I want people to act toward her? How should I act toward her? The traffic situation can also feature Mom. How about if she was taking an exceptionally long time crossing the street and that is why the cars had all stopped? You would certainly understand if drivers were waiting for an elderly woman to cross safely.

We can all make a difference in this world of ours if we try to avoid being impatient or showing anger towards others. It isn’t always going to be easy of course, but keeping a smile on our face just might keep one on the face of others! Perhaps this can be one of our New Year's resolutions.

Help Jason end AIDS!

2012-02-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I wrote anything here about my friend Jason Villalobos (I'd say my hero Jason, but he would object). A few weeks ago, the Bay Area Reporter's Political Notebook asked "LGBT politicos" for some help with predictions and Jason was one whom they asked. Why not ask him though? He ALWAYS is involved in what's going on and he ALWAYS has an opinion!

We write this blog about giving back - about making a difference. Jason Villalobos difinitely is making a difference, especially in the fight against AIDS. He is annually involved in LifeCycle (and I hope you will joiin me in supporting him there!) and you will see his picture all over the place as part of the Greater Than project. I have heard Jason speak and I have seen him gently chat with folks. One really remakable thing though is that he is so down to earth. He's a leader who just casually shrugs it all off as what one SHOULD be doing anyway.

Click HERE to donate directly on Jason's secure fundraising page for his current AIDS LifeCycle effort. He's going to keep riding every year until AIDS and HIV are a thing of the past and this year he has set a $10,000 goal! I KNOW he will make it - he's over halfway there!

Jason is a hard worker. This is only a tiny part of the MANY things he does. He can't do it alone though and that's why your support is so important! Give up that extra latte for a week and donate that money you saved or think of the wonderful gifts you just received at Christmas and give some of that back in thanksgiving. Again, to help Jason in his efforts, just click HERE. AIDS LifeCycle raises more money in the fight against AIDS than any other annual event and it helps fund programs and services at two of the country’s largest HIV/AIDS organizations: the San Francisco AIDS Foundation and the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center.

I hope many of you will lend a hand and help Jason end AIDS!

it's STILL unconstitutional

2012-02-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

Good news yesterday. A celebration resulted. Actually folks celebrated all over California and even in some other states.

Proposition 8 had already been ruled unconstitutional in Federal Court, but the supports had appealed. After a lengthy period, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals agreed with the lower court and struck down Proposition 8 as unconstitutional. In doing so it made clear that there is an “extraordinary significance” to the government’s official designation of some relationships as “marital.” The Ninth Circuit went on to explain that when gays are prevented from marrying, they are denied the respect and dignity that accompany that recognition. Indeed.

It is important though to note that the Ninth Circuit did not reach the broad question of whether same-sex couples have a fundamental right to marry. That will happen, in time.

So, there was reason to celebrate. We came a little closer to equality. Just a little, but still closer, and that is good indeed.

Be extreme

2012-02-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

“Was not Jesus an extremist for love: ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.’ Was not Amos an extremist for justice: ‘Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever flowing stream.’ Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: ‘I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.’ Was not Martin Luther an extremist: ‘Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God.’ And John Bunyan: ‘I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience.’ And Abraham Lincoln: ‘This nation cannot survive half slave and half free.’ And Thomas Jefferson: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’

“So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary's hill three men were crucified.

“We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime - the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jesus Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists.”

The words above were written by Dr Martin Luther King, Jr in a letter he sent from his Birmingham Jail cell. Today is Dr King’s birthday and it is important that we remember all the good he brought to this world. Dr King was an extremist. I invite you to follow his lead.

You are a chid of the universe

2012-02-06T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last night I kept hearing the words of this poem and so I decided to write about it - The Desiderata. Early in 1972, Les Crane's spoken-word recording of this poem (a poem with a very confused history, but I won't go into that), peaked at #8 on the Billboard chart. I can still remembering listening to it over and over back when I lived in Nashville. This is NOT about me though.

The words are quite inspirational. "As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons." Who can argue with that? "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." Certainly this is another good thought. The poem is full of them! The words - the ideas - the list of things to be desired (the actual translation of desiderata) here are so uplifting!

My favorite part of the poem, is a section that was used as a refrain in the recording: "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."

The Parable

2012-02-05T08:19:00.000-08:00

This being a Sunday, how about a parable? A man was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together, in other words – it was cooperation. How wonderful!

Of course, we don’t have to wait to get to heaven to have this kind of teamwork. It really is quite easy to do things for each other, right here on earth! Oh and before you ask what part of the Bible this parable comes from - it doesn’t. This isn’t a parable of Jesus, but one that we mortals came up with and which has been told and re-told. The point is a very good one though: cooperation - helping others - making a difference. It's a story that illustrates the very thing we talk about here every day.

If you like your parables to come from Scripture and have to have some backup from the Bible, let’s look at the words of Blessed Paul the Apostle, who in his letter to the Philippians wrote “Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.” I could not have said it any better!

we need to make true equality a reality

2012-02-04T08:13:00.000-08:00

Read these words from The Declaration of Independence, signed on July 4, 1776: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

It’s the end of January right now, so we cannot possibly be celebrating Independence Day yet, but there is never a bad time for this reminder. ALL ARE CREATED EQUAL. ALL. Every single person. There is not one who was created to stand above the rest. We all should have the same rights and nothing less is ever fair.

Hispanics are equal. Asians are equal. African-Americans are equal. Lesbians are equal. Gay men are equal. Transgender persons are equal. People of advanced years are equal. People who practice different religions are equal. People who practice no religion are equal.

Let’s get to work and make true equality a reality. We can begin with the workplace or with marriage or with any number of things where discrimination still exists.

inspire someone

2012-02-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

Did you ever see such a powerful act of love that you were moved to tears? Has something you read about or even something that you were actually involved in led you to want to do more?

We can find inspiration in so many places. Sometimes one person’s inspiration can be just as moving to others. With that in mind, I invite you to share with us here any inspirational moments you have encountered. Leave a comment below. Write as much or as little about the experience as you like.

Perhaps YOU will inspire someone!

This precious earth

2012-02-02T08:26:00.000-08:00

I can remember a public service announcement when I was young that showed people driving around littering the highways. Meanwhile a Native American is seen paddling ashore and walking through the trash. As more garbage is thrown at his feet, he turns his head in the direction of the camera and you see a tear coming down his cheek. People caused pollution then and they still do today.

It isn’t just littering and polluting that I am talking about. There seems to be a lack of care about this planet of ours by many. I am not a native of San Francisco, but I have lived here much of my life and I really care about the quality of live here. There is much history that has come before me and it seems only right to respect that history. I do not have the right to desecrate the parks, streets, hills, streams, neighborhoods, and the land that others have called home. It is not just a hunk of land – there are memories that are precious to others, even if not to me. We all need to be stewards of this planet – of our neighborhoods and all the areas that connect them.

The words below are from a very wise man. They are part of Chief Seattle’s response to the Government’s offer to purchase the remaining Seattle Land. The chief began by saying they would ponder the proposition and let the government know. Then he went on to say “Every part of this soil is sacred in the estimation of my people. Every hillside, every valley, every plain and grove, has been hallowed by some sad or happy event in days long vanished. Even the rocks, which seem to be dumb and dead as they swelter in the sun along the silent shore, thrill with memories of stirring events connected with the lives of my people, and the very dust upon which you now stand responds more lovingly to their footsteps than yours, because it is rich with the blood of our ancestors, and our bare feet are conscious of the sympathetic touch. Our departed braves, fond mothers, glad, happy hearted maidens, and even the little children who lived here and rejoiced here for a brief season, will love these somber solitudes and at eventide they greet shadowy returning spirits.”

Let’s all renew our care for this fragile planet we call home. If we start thinking of how precious this earth is to others, hopefully it will become more precious to each of us.

Classic Herb Caen

2012-02-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

Herb who? That's what many of you are probably saying. The late newspaper comumnist (who wrote for The San Francisco Chronicle and earlier for The San Francisco Examiner) was one of those folks who made a difference in this world. Herb did a lot of that through his writing. I recently came across a column of his from April of 1991. It is just as timely as when originally written, and so I offer it to you today:

Scene: The Heavenly Real Estate Office. The Landlord is cheerily rounding up a covey of blazing comets that have skittered under Queen Casseopera's Chair. His business agent, Gabriel, enters, his Golden Trumpet in one hand and more reports from the tiny planet Earth in the other.

Landlord: (to the Comets) Come out from under there, you little scamps, before you set the whole galaxy on fire.

Gabriel: Excuse me sir. Another batch of prayergrams from your most devout Christians.

Landlord: (waving a hand) Whatever they want, Gabriel. Now where did those freaky devils get to?

Gabriel: Yes sir, they want you to evict ten percent of your tenants down there. (Raising his Golden Trumpet) I've never attempted a partial eviction. Shall I try?

Landlord: (looking up) What ten percent, Gabriel?

Gabriel: The gays, sir. Your devout Christians say they've done their utmost to keep them out of their schools, their offices, their churches, and their lives, but with little success. So their prayergrams ask you to remove them from the face of your Earth.

Landlord: To me Gabriel, that doesn't sound very Christian. I thought they were supposed to love their neighbors.

Gabriel: Oh they do sir, if their neighbors are of the same color, economic bracket, and sexual orientation.

Landlord: But what harm do these gay people do?

Gabriel: I'm afraid you're not seeing the big picture, sir. Gays simply don't fit into your grand design. You know, two by two, male and female? Generation after generation? The fact of the matter is that gays simply don't procreate.

Landlord: I thought there was enough procreation down there already.

Gabriel: And they commit unspeakable acts.

Landlord: Murder? Torture? Paving over my mountain meadows?

Gabriel: Unspeakable sexual acts, sir.

Landlord: Ah, you mean they express their love for each other in different ways.

Gabriel: (annoyed) Really sir! If these people were automobiles, they'd be recalled in a nonce. They're clearly defective.

Landlord: (frowning) Defective, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Exactly sir. Some essential part if missing; some vital drive is malfunctioning. Bungled wiring – a loose screw...who knows?

Landlord: But clearly they're examples of shoddy workmanship?

Gabriel: Oh definitely sir. And they certainly don't deserve to clutter up your little blue-green jewel of a planet a minute longer. (Raising his Golden Trumpet again) Shall I evict them now?

Landlord: (slowly) And who made these imperfect products, Gabriel?

Gabriel: Why you did of course, but. . .(he lowers his trumpet in sudden consternation) Good You sir. I didn't mean to blaspheme. You will forgive them then?

Landlord: (smiling) A wise philosopher said long ago Gabriel that if I made sinners, it is not I who should forgive them, but they who should forgive me.

Gabriel: Well, I'm sure the gays will be glad to hear of your tolerance and generosity, sir.

Landlord: The gays? I was talking about my most devout Christians.

YIELD!

2012-01-31T08:12:00.000-08:00

You’re driving down the street when suddenly you see a flashing light behind you and you hear a siren. What should you do? Apparently some folks think to correct answer is step on the gas and try to beat the emergency vehicle, as you proceed on down the street. WRONG!

Let’s take just a moment to remember what it is that emergency vehicles do. An ambulance transports sick or injured people to hospitals and medical centers. More often than not, when an ambulance is involved, the patient is in urgent need of care and every minute counts. Fire trucks sometimes respond to medical calls and various random emergencies, but most of the time they are headed to fires, where once again, every minute counts. Police may be responding to any number of calls – a hostage situation for example, or a murder, robbery, or rape. Again, time is of the essence.

The flashing lights and sirens were developed to signal people that this is a vehicle that needs priority treatment. Please yield. Of course one very good reason for doing so is that it is the law, and a heavy fine can hit you for not yielding. The better reson though is that it is simply the right thing to do. Would you like someone to die because you blocked an ambulance? Would you like someone to lose their house because you didn’t let the fire truck through?

You can make all the difference in the world with just a bit of road courtesy. Yield to the first sound of a siren!

recognition

2012-01-30T08:24:00.000-08:00

If you are a regular reader of these daily words, you know that what we talk about here is giving back and making a difference in the world. There are many ways of doing it, and we have ventured details on a goodly number over the years. Occasionally we bring a individual to your attention who is making a difference.

Most people become activists or volunteers or givers, because they genuinely want to be productive. That doesn’t mean that a little recognition is a bad thing or that they would run from it. If you are giving time to a non-profit, you usually aren’t receiving any money for it. Now hopefully you are there because you really like the organization and you feel your gift of time and talent can be of assistance. That does not mean that your efforts should not be recognized or that you should not be thanked.

Years ago, a priest taught me a valuable lesson. I know this is NOT about me, but still, I want to share it. I would volunteer on a regular basis – at least once a week. Each time, when I had finished, he said two simple words to me: thank you. I try to always do the same now with others. It really doesn’t have to be limited to volunteer situations either. In the workplace, it’s nice when your boss thanks you with words and not just your paycheck.

Recognition goes beyond thanks too. Calling attention to the good work of others and letting others know of it, is another form of pay and one that recipients will greatly cherish. They may not go in to a situation looking for praise, but a few kind words of recognition can really brighten up their day!

What can you donate?

2012-01-29T08:18:00.000-08:00

What can you donate? Well, the list really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Art work might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating your talent is a very valuable thing. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advise or reading to children.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries?

As we say every day here, giving takes many forms. Sometimes we are speaking of the various kinds of donating. What a rewarding thing it is to do!

Love Until It Hurts

2012-01-28T08:07:00.000-08:00

Mother Teresa once said "I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love." How can more love ever be a bad thing? A local church here in San Francisco wears buttons that say "More Love." What a wonderful concept!

We write here in this blog each day about making a difference in this world of ours. Love is what that comes down to. You cannot do good deeds without love. Love brings joy to those who give it and to those who receive it. Love truly does help us make a difference.

Love is worth it!

Care for others

2012-01-27T08:08:00.000-08:00

There is a reason whey I write every day about making a difference in the world. I care. I care about other people and I really hope that we ALL can do that! We are the world - all of us together. None of us is really alone. We are all one. That may seem a little heady, but to me it's important. I know, this is NOT about me, but continue to listen.

For the past few days I have been talking about anti-bullying measures and things we all can do to stop lgbt-bullying. This is important. We can save lives! There are so many other reasons to care for others too.

Earlier this week I was involved in a situation where a high school girl had been stalked by a man who came in to the place where I work. The girl is also a regular there and I even know her by name. When I found out she was being stalked and might be in danger, I ran to her nearby school and talked both to school security and to the Dean of Students. The girl turned out to be okay but was quite glad that I had been looking out. School officials also thanked me. My boss was less thrilled by it all though and told me I was not responsibile for the safety and security of neighborhood students. I told him I disagree, and I do. I think we ALL need to take responsibility!

Recently a waitress in the neighborhood was mugged on two seperate occasions. Both times she saw people standing around watching and hearing her scream for help. Nobody came to her aid. Nobody even called the police!

Perhaps the worst case of not gettting involved came earlier this month when, according to surveillance video, a little girl in China is run over by a van, which drives off leaving her to bleed on a narrow street. After that, more than a dozen people walk or drive past the girl on bicycles before she is run over by a second vehicle. Finally, woman pulls the little girl to the side of the street. The little girl was taken to the hospital, but has since died. Her death could have been prevented, if only someone had cared - if only someone had gotten involved.

We are ALL responsible. We ALL need to care for our sisters and brothers.

This bullying must STOP!

2012-01-26T08:12:00.000-08:00

This bullying that has caused so much heartache, must stop! The list of lgbt suicides is way to long. The pain that our kids must endure is unnecessary.

We need to make them feel like they are welcome in this world, and not freaks who don't even deserve to breath air. Take the It Get's Better pledge HERE. It is certainly a good start!

While you are at their website, I urge you to look more at the It Get's Better Project. It is not the final word, to be sure, but if we all do what we can to help our lgbt youth, we can put an end to bullyiing and see that no more lives are lost. What else can we do? Well I challenge you to think of just one thing you can do to raise awareness about lgbt issues Spread the word, too!

Last year, Raymond Chase took his own life by hanging himself in his college dorm room. We don't know all the details, but bullying had preceded his death.

There are incidents somewhere just about every day! We don't always know if it is lgbt-related, but ANY loss of life and ANY bullying, is too much. This bullying must stop and it must stop NOW!

Change the world

2012-01-25T08:07:00.000-08:00

Can I change the world? Someone actually asked me that. After reading this blog for a while, I was asked, "do you really think you can change the world?"

The answer of course is YES! I can and you can and all of us can if we get involved and if we do something and if we simply TRY to make a difference. Will stting alone in a room and moaning about the things we don't like change anything? Probably not.

This blog does not give you all of the answers. I don't have all of the answers. Nobody has all the answers. I never have pretended that to be the case. I don't think I am the authority on change or involvement or making a difference - I am just one voice. I do hope you will join me though. Together we can do so much more!

I would love to hear your comments too. Occasionally I get an email, but you can comment right here too so that other readers can easily read your thoughts (and you can even do so anonymously). Changing the world for the better is something all of us should be interested in doing! Join us!

Inspired by Kennedy

2012-01-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

When I was young, Robert Francis Kennedy was the junior US Senator from New York State, where I was growing up. I remember him saying “There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” Those words had a profound impact on me.

Robert Kennedy's life was cut short by a bullet, but he had already got my attention. I don't know how many lives he touched; we never know such things. I do know that ever since I have been trying to not only get involved and make a difference in the world, but to motivate others to participate too.

We may not all be inspired by a Kennedy, but we all can give back to this world of ours. It isn't important that we give in a certain way - the important thing is that we just do it!

Say what??

2012-01-23T08:41:00.000-08:00

When someone mentions their doctor, do you automatically picture a man? If a man says he wants you to meet his spouse, do you immediately think he is referring to a woman? We need to change the way we think and they way we say things! (I prefer saying husband or wife instead of partner or spouse because it gives more information). If we really believe in equality though and really support same-sex marriage, we should think about things like this.

I remember a television commercial for a deodorant, many years ago that talked about an airline pilot. Viewers were thinking of a man flying the aircraft, but in the last frame we see that it is actually a woman. Even those of us who fight every day for equality, can't get those images out of our head that we have been conditioned to see. When reading someone's biography, when we see that they are married, most of us still assume the opposite sex.

Is it conditioning or prejudice? Can we open our minds to see a bigger picture?

There is ALWAYS hunger somewhere

2012-01-22T08:36:00.000-08:00

Too much to eat? Restaurant portions are often larger than they need to be and as a result we sometimes leave a lot on our plate. Think about asking for a bag for those leftovers and giving them to the first homeless person you encounter. It’s a simple act. It didn’t cost you anything extra. It can really help ease the hunger being experienced by someone else.

This is just one of the many things we can do every single day to give back and help others. Another possibility is ordering two sandwiches when you place your lunch take-out order. One is for you of course, and the other you simply hand to someone in need that you come across on your way back to work.

Last month there were food donation barrels all over the place and organizations did special holiday lunches or dinners, but now (except for the weekly soup kitchens and meal programs that exist in major cities) we don’t see this outreach, yet the need still exists. People are hungry every single day of the year. Let’s keep that spirit alive that was so evident last month and do what we can to ease hunger. Simple steps like those above are a place to start and we can also look for year-round food pantries and meal programs to donate to. If the need is great where you live and it looks like nothing is happening, perhaps you could be the one to start a program!

Too big

2012-01-21T08:19:00.000-08:00

The whole task - the "making change in the world" idea - some may just shrug their shoulders and say "It's too big"! How often have we heard that? There is so much to do. How can one person make a difference? With that "it's too big" attitude, we are counting ourselves out even before we begin. It's the little things though that really can make a difference. Certainly we can all do some little thing!

It was Mother Teresa who said "If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one." She sure got that right!

Don't worry if you don't have tons of time or tons of money. Give what you are able to give. It really will make a difference! GIve a few minutes of your time. Put a sign up in your window. Donate cash or clothing.

In the familiar Bible story of the loaves and fishes feeding the five thousand, we always assume that Jesus created more food. What if it was a different kind of miracle? What if Jesus made us do the work that he knew were capable of doing? If some of the people had brought food with them, even if just a tiny snack, then they could have combined that and everyone could have been fed. Now I know some of you might not like me suggesting that a popular Scripture happened a little differently than we have always thought, but consider it for a moment. The crowd was too big to be fed by the small amount of food they knew they had. Jesus was not worried at all though. Very much the same as now. We ask God for more food or more money or a better job. Perhaps when we achieve these things it is because he led us to our own accomplishment.

If we all do a little - if we all do what we can, it will make a difference. Nothing is too big when everyone pitches in!

Hope

2012-01-20T08:05:00.000-08:00

Today I am going to cheat. I am going to use this space to quote someone else. Back in November, I was part of a vigil for Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk who were shot and killed in their City Hall offices. They were men who truly made a difference in this world, and so today I'm going to quote the late Harvey Milk. This is a portion of his famous "hope" speech from 1978:

"The first gay people we elect must be strong. They must not be content to sit in the back of the bus. They must not be content to accept pablum. They must be above wheeling and dealing. They must be--for the good of all of us--independent, unbought. The anger and the frustrations that some of us feel is because we are misunderstood, and friends can't feel the anger and frustration. They can sense it in us, but they can't feel it. Because a friend has never gone through what is known as coming out. I will never forget what it was like coming out and having nobody to look up toward. I remember the lack of hope - and our friends can't fulfill it.

"I can't forget the looks on faces of people who've lost hope. Be they gay, be they seniors, be they blacks looking for an almost-impossilbe job, be they Latins trying to explain their problems and aspirations in a tongue that's foreign to them. I personally will never forget that people are more important than buildings. I use the word 'I' because I'm proud. I stand here tonight in front of my gay sisters, brothers and friends because I'm proud of you. I think it's time that we have many legislators who are gay and proud of that fact and do not have to remain in the closet. I think that a gay person, up-front, will not walk away from a responsibility and be afraid of being tossed out of office. After Dade County, I walked among the angry and the frustrated night after night and I looked at their faces. And in San Francisco, three days before Gay Pride Day, a person was killed just because he was gay. And that night, I walked among the sad and the frustrated at City Hall in San Francisco and later that night as they lit candles on Castro Street and stood in silence, reaching out for some symbolic thing that would give them hope. These were strong people, whose faces I knew from the shop, the streets, meetings and people who I never saw before but I knew. They were strong, but even they needed hope.

"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant on television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.

"So if there is a message I have to give, it is that I've found one overriding thing about my personal election, it's the fact that if a gay person can be elected, it's a green light. And you and you and you, you have to give people hope."

A Mother's Letter to Her Gay Son

2012-01-19T08:30:00.000-08:00

During the holiday season we hear of so many wonderful things that people do. A few days after Christmas, I came across the letter am sharing with you here today. I don’t know who the author is and I don’t know if this is true or if it is fiction, but I was quite touched by it, and I hope you are too!

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed "not being equal" in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences. You had a passion for justice even as a child.

I remember when you were 4 and refused to eat supper until I had actually written the check for Save the Children. You were the watchdog in your kindergarten classroom after you felt your teacher was wrong to rip up a child's painting in front of the class in her effort to teach them to write their names on their papers. On that day you spoke truth to power so eloquently as you confronted your teacher after school.

As soon as you came out to us, you wanted to start a gay/straight alliance at your high school. We worried for your safety, but even more for the isolation it might have brought as you worked to make it happen. You reached out to students, teachers, and the administration and created your school's first gay/straight alliance.

When you were in college and heard that there were students being kicked out of colleges simply because they were gay, you founded another organization to confront that terrible wrong. Each of those times you taught me to take action and not be silent in the face of injustice. You have led me, and you have taught me throughout your life. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you.

As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you,
Mama

Go inspire more!

2012-01-18T08:03:00.000-08:00

When I first heard of Toan Lam, he was working as a reporter at KRON4, a local television station here in San Francisco. I remember his reports, but they don't really stand out. At some point Lam just disappeared from local tv. I didn't really notice. He was just gone. Several months ago a friend of mine who works at that station and therefore used to work with Lam, mentioned him - he particularly mention his Go Inspire Go.

What we do here every day in tis blog, is write about giving back - making a difference in the world. From everything I have seen and read, Toan Lam could easily be the posterboy for giving back and for inspiring others to do likewise. Back in the summer we wrote briefly about him here and about his Go Inspire Go, but since then we have seen more and more of his videos and we continue to be inspired. We thought we would mention it once again.

I'd like you invite you to check out their website. There are tons of hearwarming stories there and ways that we can all join in. It's pretty easy to get there - http://goinspirego.com/ - just click there and you will be sent directly to these wonderful stories.
It's the time of year when many feel extra generous. Help Go Inspire Go continue their wonderful mission of making a difference. You can add your own stories. You can donate airline miles to them. You can like them on facebook and follow them on twitter. Tell your friends too!

I Love Walgreens

2012-01-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

Before writing anything, I should tell you that I have worked for Walgreens for the past thirteen years at the store level, and although this blog is NOT about me, I also want to make clear that I am not receiving any extra compensation from Walgreens for what I al writing here today - it fact, they are not even aware I am writing this. I could tell you I love Walgreens because they provide me with a paycheck, but there is so much more!

Walgreens has a “Charity Choice” program which allows me and all company employees to donate to four organizations aimed at improving health and wellness (American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, and United Way), directly from our paychecks. In addition we can give to a “Benefit Fund” that helps Walgreens employees in extreme emergency situations.

A little more about that Benefit Fund: It was started back in 1939 with $50,000 from Company founder Charles Walgreen Sr’s will. Every employee who's faced with an extreme hardship and has exhausted their financial resources is eligible to apply for assistance, and they are never asked to pay the money back! This has helped keeps the lights on for employees and paid medical expenses and helped after natural disasters and so much more.

Walgreens is always involved in the community too. Here in San Francisco for example, we are frequently at health fairs or walk-a-thons or other fundraisers or health related events. Walgreens has also launched a number of community education programs targeting diabetes awareness, HIV/AIDS, stop smoking, and more. Oh and then there is the flu shots and other immunizations.

Lately something that really caught my attention was Walgreens partnering with the Greater Than AIDS program. Click HERE to find out more about that.

Walgreens is more than just a drugstore. It's part of our family!