last request

Do you ever read the obituaries in the newspaper? Sometimes they can be humorous and sometimes they simply gave details of someone's life. Lately though I have come across several that are very inspiring, not just because of the life that had been led, but because of a last request.  There was a wonderful obituary a newspaper last week that brought me to tears.  A brother wrote some very touching words about his sister who had lived with cerebral palsy.  "I wish I could have made you laugh one more time," he wrote.

Frequently in obituaries there will be a "in lieu of flowers" statement, that directs folks to a charity that is significant to the deceased.  I also have seen some very nice "last requests."  In telling of one man who had recently passed away, the obituary said that one of his last wishes was for any person reading the obituary to perform a good deed in his honor for someone that they may have had friction with or disliked. Wow! Someone wanted to continue the love even after they were gone. How wonderful. How many people did a good deed in his honor? There is of course no way to know, but what a wonderful idea!

Maybe this will inspire folks reading this to make other last requests. What would you want your legacy to be? How would you like to be an inspiration to strangers, even after you are gone?  Of course, estate planning is another way to help those who come after you while also keeping your name alive.

Still blogging after all these years

Every morning, after a shower and brisk walk (or sometimes run), I sit down and blog about kindness.  My words are ones that I usually formulate during my walk.  Sometimes I think of things to say for the next several days, which helps when I have those occasional days where my mind seems to go blank.  Next, I write this blog - it's NOT about me.  It is about all of us and how we can make a difference in this world.  I hope you enjoy reading these words, as much as I enjoy writing them.

I have written about my personal heroes and people and organizations I greatly admire.  Toan Lam is one of those folks I will never tire of writing about.  Colin Kaepernick too.  I love telling about neighborhood people who do good deeds.  I love retelling the stories of folks like Harvey Milk, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and so many others.  I can go on and on too about Katharine Jefferts Schori, Dan Choi, Stuart Gafney, David Chiu, Zoe Dunning, and on and on. 

 

It has been my great honor also to share the story of Lillian Weber who made a huge impact on so many people when she sewed an amazing 1,234 dresses for the organization Little Dresses for Africa, working on past her 100th birthday. The story of Dan McKernan and Barn Sanctuary which he created and runs, is another tale I am so happy to tell.  I remember writing here about the Hat Lady and of course several entries about the wonderful Arnel Pineda.

 

When I began this back in 2008, I had no idea I would be doing this for so long.  There are a lot more things to say though and so, I shall continue.  I hope you will continue to read, and I hope you will also share any comments and suggestions here from time to time.  Without you, there really would be no point in doing this!

Pranks a lot

Be careful. Seriously, be careful today. Is it real, or is it an April Fool's joke? Some people believe every single thing they read. Today might be the exception. April 1st is probably the only day of the year when people critically evaluate everything they read online, before accepting it as fact. Perhaps we should do that every day.

Jokes and pranks can be fun, if they are done in that spirit, but all too often they are just plain mean. There certainly is no humor in being unkind. I used to be a big fan of All Fool's Day. There have been some wonderful ones (one of my favorites was the Taco Liberty Bell back in the late 90s). There have also been ones that have caused great grief. Then, I am not a fan.

I write about positive uplifting things here, and laughter is wonderful medicine, but sadness and misery are not good things, and so when it comes to this day I really have mixed feelings. Be good. Have fun. Don't make anyone feel bad in the process. Maybe my first two words are a good way to go today: Be careful.

taking on the bullies

How many lives have been cut short due to bullying?  We don't need to know a number, because ANY life lost is too many!  Bullying should have no place in our schools or in our churches or in the lives of our kids.  We need to take on the bullies and put an end to their evil.

 

Bullying must end.  We need to stand up and speak out.  We don't always see it, but bullying is very widespread.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2011, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.  Don't be surprised if you never heard anything from your own children.  Bullying often goes unreported.

 

Speak out means we need to convince our kids that it is important for them to report these things to us.  As adults, we need to tackle bullying head-on and let the bullies know that such behavior is not tolerated.  We need to stand up to the bullies.  We cannot tolerate such behavior, and we cannot sit silent when our children are taking their own lives when they cannot bear the bullying any longer.

We must create a world in which teenagers, especially lgbtq teens, are celebrated and accepted for who they are. We all need to become more involved, and we need to speak up!

 

Living in the past

Are you living in the moment or are you stuck where you used to be; where you always have been? Do you have appreciation for the present, or have you gotten stuck in the past? What about the future? Are you looking ahead or do your eyes seem to be focused on your rearview mirror?

 

Yes, there is comfort in familiarity, but there is also a complete lack of adventure.  We also never advance or go forward if we aren't willing to take risks and try new and different things.  I'm not saying we should throw out tradition, but we can keep it and still add new things.

 

How about this very minute in your life - are you enjoying it or are you thinking about something from yesteryear?  My experience has shown me the great joy of cherishing every single moment and at the same time looking ahead to the newness of life and the adventures we have along the way. 

 

"Oh, I can't wait for this day to end!"  How many of us have said this?  The sad thing is that we are missing the beauty of now.  Years ago on the radio, I used to say "Smell the flowers along the way.  They're only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow."  Living in the past keeps us from the joy of knowing the now and the future.  Live each moment and be glad!

strive to be happy

Our nation's 16th president, Abraham Lincoln once said “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I really believe that too. WE control whether or not we are happy.

Yes, everything in life does not turn out the way we might want it and there can certainly be some very trying moments, but anger, frustration, sorrow, are all filled with negativity. There is always something positive in our lives, even if it might take some time to look for it. It might not always be easy either. Being happy though is actually a choice we make. We should choose to be happy above anything else.

This isn't a new idea at all. Aristotle is quoted as saying "Happiness depends upon ourselves." Max Ehrmann's Desiderata which I posted here on Monday, closes with these words: “Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

Like I said, it might not always be easy, but the joy of happiness is its own reward!

Rule to live by

Some people say they have a code of ethics or a rule to live by. The whole "giving back" idea that I write about here every day, I think is a form of this code.  Many refer to it as the Golden Rule.

 

It really is quite basic: we should treat others as we would like others to treat us. Not hard to understand, right? It is generally stated as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

 

There is a "two-way" relationship between us and the others in our world and that relationship involves both sides equally. None of us likes to have too many regulations, but we all should have some kind of positive rule to live by. This is just basic human values.

 

I can remember when people used to quote this rule.  I can remember when it was common for people to actually live by it too. We can go back to that again. It is possible.