Our pathways

It's often difficult to put ourselves in someone else's shoes to appreciate their journey in life, if we haven't experienced the same things as they have. It is very kind though to find compassion for their situation and lend a listening ear when needed.

There is an old saying "Don't expect everyone to understand your journey, especially if they've never has to walk your path."  How very true.  My goals may possible be the same goals that you have, but we just might have different ways of getting there.  Now, I don't mean to suggest that my way is the best way or the only way, the word I would is "different."  Out pathways may be different from each other.

 

We don't all travel on the same road.  Our pathways are different.  Some of us go in different directions but still end up in the same place.  Some of us go around in circles or walk paths that seem to lead nowhere.  When we encounter each other along the way though, we should stop and meet and share our common stories.

 

The pathways of life are varied but they are best enjoyed when shared with others.

F NOT Fitzgerald

The other day I read a wonderful quote that had been attributed to F Scott Fitzgerald. It was one of those encouraging things that often will end up on a poster, but as I was reading it, I also learned that the words were not his. Oh my! The article actually went on to say that there are many instances these days of quotes wrongly attributed on the internet.

Now Fitzgerald was an incredible writer. There is no denying that. He died at a very young age, but had he lived longer, there is no telling how many more wonderful stories he would have told. Among his works are This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night. In addition, Fitzgerald penned dozens of short stories.

The quote I was speaking of though is the very kind of thing I like to share here. It likely came from a screenwriter by the name of Eric Roth. There is much evidence that it was not Fitzgerald's. Still, it's a wonderful quote:

“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

from a cabbie

I have no idea who wrote this - I found I a while back on the internet and wanted to share it.  It's the kind of "feel good" story that I really like, and I hope it will have some meaning for you.   Again, these are not my words, but I wanted to share this great story with all of you on this beautiful December morning-

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes, I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.

'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.

They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

another chance for us to get it right

With this first month of the year nearly half over, how are you coming with those resolutions? Didn't do so well? Hey! There's always next month - or next year! I think it was Oprah Winfrey who said, "Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." Of course, we can ask "What is right?"

Some of those resolutions that folks make at the beginning of the year, are really so difficult, that we have little chance.  That doesn't mean we shouldn't make resolutions but stop beating yourself up because you only lost five pounds when you said you were going to lose fifty.  Set realistic goals if you like, but be kind to yourself.  Encourage others along the way and quite often they will also encourage you.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of resolutions. Do your best every day of your life. THAT should be a goal everyone can get behind. Things like showing concern for my neighbor and trying to make a difference, are lifelong resolutions for me, and I believe in Oprah's "another chance for us to get it right" idea, but in my case I think of every day like that. Each day of our life we can try to do better and to be better.

So, let me ask you, are there goals that you have? Have you resolved to do any particular things? Share some of those with us!

Say what??

When someone mentions their doctor, do you automatically picture a man? If a man says he wants you to meet his spouse, do you immediately think he is referring to a woman? We need to change the way we think and the way we say things! (I prefer saying husband or wife instead of partner or spouse because it gives more information). If we really believe in equality though and really support same-sex marriage, we should think about things like this.

I remember a television commercial for a deodorant, many years ago that talked about an airline pilot. Viewers were thinking of a man flying the aircraft, but in the last frame we see that it is actually a woman. Flight attendants too - we seem to mostly think female, even if your last flight had an all male cabin crew.  

Even those of us who fight every day for equality, can't get those images out of our head that we have been conditioned to see. When reading someone's biography, when we see that they are married, most of us still assume the opposite sex.

Sometimes I hear people refer to God as He.  How many of us really picture the Almighty with gender? I was thinking about terminology and how we often speak with words that are outdated.  With that in mind, Pronouns that refer to gender are often misused out of ignorance.  Our transgender sisters and brothers should expect that they will be referred to with the gender they identify with.  It is ignorant to call a man 'she' and just plain mean to say 'it.'

Is it conditioning or prejudice? Can we open our minds to see a bigger picture?

What do YOU think?

My thoughts and the ideas I put forth each day in this space, are not the only concepts out there. Yes, I make suggestions on how we might all help make this a better world, but are my ideas any good? Are there better ways? Your sentiments are worth hearing too, even if we might not agree with them.

I have said this before, and will likely say it many more times, but even though this blog is NOT about me, it is written by me, and therefore is heavy laden with my opinion. What about yours though? You much have thoughts on the subjects I post here. Do you agree with me or disagree? Let's hear YOUR opinion too!

Right under the last line I write each day it says "blogged by Michael Fullam at time." Right next to that you will see a place where you can comment. I'd really love to hear your opinion. I'm sure many people would like to look at the thoughts of others as well.

So, after all these years, you pretty much know what I think about a LOT of things. You have read countless suggestions from me and I've told you about good deeds and folks I consider inspirations to me. Now, take a moment or two and tell me what YOU think!

Happiness is a warm puppy

The wonderful Peanuts cartoonist Charles Shultz said “Happiness is a warm puppy.”  That gives you an immediate image.  You can picture it immediately.  What else is happiness though?  What makes you happy?  What do you do to bring happiness to others?

Obviously, there is not just one answer to my question.  It's going to be a little bit different for each individual.  I really think that being happy is a choice.  We each have the power to bring happiness into our lives and into the lives of others. WE can make it happen!  In fact, Ralph Waldo Emerson makes the same point when he said, “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

Being angry or being unhappy can and does happen, even when we are trying to be upbeat and cheerful, but my point is that we can change things.  We can turn a bad day into a good one, just by changing our attitude.

So be happy, and while you're at it, spread some of that happiness around!