Dr King always said it so well

The past few days have been very frustrating.  I know that hate exists, but we are seeing it in huge amounts right now, and it's making me sick.  I don't think I will ever understand hate.

 

The words of the Rev Martin Luther King, Jr have always inspired me and brought be a sense of peace.  Whatever the subject, Dr King always said it so well.  In the past few days there have been a lot of quotes from him floating around.  This one in particular moved me:

 

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

Remembering Matthew

The Matthew Shepard story has its beginning back on December 1, 1976, when he was born to Judy and Dennis Shepard in Casper, Wyoming. Matthew went to public schools in Casper until his junior year of high school when he moved with his family to Saudi Arabia. It was college that would bring him back to Wyoming and his studies at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. We didn't know Matthew through any of this.

Sadly, it was on the network newscasts that we first heard of a young man who had been tied to a split-rail fence, savagely beaten beyond recognition, and left to die out in the cold. It wasn't until the next day that he was found by a bicyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

As many times as I have heard this story, it is still hard for me to believe that anyone could have this much hate for another human being and do such horrific things as were done to Matthew. His rescuers took him to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, CO where he died from blunt force trauma, his massive severe head injuries, six days later.  In the wee hours of October 12, 1998, Matthew passed away in that hospital, with his parents by his side and an entire world now knowing of this notorious anti-gay hate crime. 

In the past 26 years, more and more people have learned of that dreadful night when Matthew was attacked. Matthew has been depicted in films, television programs, musical works, novels, and plays, and his murder has inspired hate crime legislation, and the formation of organizations designed to fight hate. Judy and Dennis Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his life and to "amplify the story of Matthew Shepard to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people." 

On this October 12th, as I look back at this young life taken, I can't help think of all the hate crimes over the years against LGBTQ+ people.  Hate needs to end.  Nothing good ever comes from hate.  If you would like to know more about the Matthew Shepard Foundation or perhaps make a donation, go to https://www.matthewshepard.org/

come out come out

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated on October 11, 1988 and has been celebrated on this day every year since. Coming out is a personal experience for members of the LGBTQ+ community and everyone has their own story to tell. Today you may be hearing a number of them.

Most of the “Coming Out” stories we hear seem to focus on white gay men who have an awkward conversation with their family members. Occasionally it's a woman we hear about, but still white. I'd love to hear more stories from our trans and bi sisters and brothers and more from people of color.

Support is important. For some people it might not be safe to come out, and we should be supportive of that and also supportive of those who choose to make their reality known.

So, on this National Coming Out Day, I will be listening to the stories (do feel free to share yours in the comments) and hoping for unity and support among and for the LGBTQ+ community.

F NOT Fitzgerald

The other day I read a wonderful quote that had been attributed to F Scott Fitzgerald. It was one of those encouraging things that often will end up on a poster, but as I was reading it, I also learned that the words were not his. Oh my! The article actually went on to say that there are many instances these days of quotes wrongly attributed on the internet.

Now Fitzgerald was an incredible writer. There is no denying that. He died at a very young age, but had he lived longer, there is no telling how many more wonderful stories he would have told. Among his works are This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night. In addition, Fitzgerald penned dozens of short stories.

The quote I was speaking of though is the very kind of thing I like to share here. It likely came from a screenwriter by the name of Eric Roth. There is much evidence that it was not Fitzgerald's. Still, it's a wonderful quote:

“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

Today is National Stop Bullying Day, part of the month-long campaign to prevent bullying.  Let's all get involved. Let's not see any more lives ruined because of bullying. 

Turn Around

Do you feel like you are just going nowhere in your job or in you education or in your social activities? There are other options, you know. The song that says It's too late to turn back now, is WRONG. You can always change!

Now, I'm not saying that you should make a change. You are the one who needs to make that decision.  First, step back from the picture and look at all sides. You might want to talk about things with a close family member or friend. You might also want to seek out a professional for advice. Just know that because you are heading in a certain direction, doesn't mean you have to keep going that way. Is it the right direction for you?

No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. Nothing says you cannot admit being wrong. If you are, be confident and know that there is no shame in turning around.

 

Hero Headquarters

This space could easily be hero headquarters, because I certainly write here a lot about heroes. I've asked about your heroes and said what I think it takes. I have written about a number of folks that I think are heroes. I've even quoted the wise words of Jason Chu, who in his song Marvels said "We become heroes because of what makes us human." What more than is there to say?

Well our ideas of a hero are not all the same. A hero to you might not be one to me. Lately I have seen more and more heroes and that is something to celebrate. That wonderful human factor - that love of good and decency.  We all are capable of doing something heroic.  It doesn't mean we have to pull someone from a burning building or out of a car wreck.  We don't have to thwart an armed robbery or help an old lady who just had her purse snatched, to be a hero.  Each of us can be heroes in our own way.

The many activists who stand up for justice and equality belong in this category too.  The unconditional love - the "making a difference" kind of people:  heroes.  There seem to be more and more folks coming out and changing the world.  You can be a hero too!  You can make a difference.  Perhaps you already are.  I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.  Tell me about the heroes in your life!

how we paint it is up to us

For a number of years now I have profiled people and organizations who give back and really make a difference in our world and, when not doing that, have made suggestions about other ways we ALL can give back. Occasionally I get a bit ahead of myself and start doing multiple things at the same time. (Currently I am involved in several fundraisers for example and might not be giving fair attention to them all).

It is easy to spread yourself too thin. It is also easy for some folks to sit and do nothing. There is a halfway point though!  I don't think I am painting nearly as much as I want to.

What we do in life is of course up to us. We are given this broad canvas on which to paint, but the picture isn't known right away. Some of us might paint many pictures during our lifetime. We might get involved in many different things. Some of us will do less. Sadly, there will be some who do virtually nothing at all. The significant thing here is that how we paint, is up to us.

So, take that canvas, and make something really beautiful!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

Picture cooperation

I've told you this particular story about cooperation before, but I really like it, and since cooperation is such a great thing, I thought I'd share this story again.  (It isn't my story, by the way, but I don't know the author).

It's about a man who was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was exactly the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together – a picture of cooperation. Working together as a team, we can do so much more!

Think about it.  How wonderful this world would be if we all worked together!

more and more new ideas

Every single morning I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothes?  How do churches pay their bills?  What keeps the doors open at neighborhood free clinics?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important, and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you.

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, then proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call your local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.