more and more new ideas

Every single morning, I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

Just a perfect blendship

Some silly relaxation before going to bed last night - I watched an episode of that old series The Golden Girls.  As you may recall, the theme song is Thank You For Being A Friend.  I'm sure I was singing along in my head.

I woke up this morning to the sound of Dionne Warwick singing That's What Friends Are For on the radio.  Shortly after that I accidently clicked a YouTube link and went to an old clip of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance singing about friendship.  There must be a theme here! 

What a wonderful thing friendship is.  It can actually make you sing!  I started to sing along with Lucy and Ethel.

"It's friendship, friendship,

Just a perfect blendship,

When other friendships have been forgot

Ours will still be hot!

Lahdle-ahdle-ahdle-dig-dig-dig."

The wonderful Dutch priest Henri Jozef Machiel Nouwen had some good thoughts on the subject:

"Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends."

Our Moms

My mom was the best mother in the world! (I'm sure many of you have wonderful thoughts too about your own mom). I don't remember many Mother's Days though. Oh there were happy times galore (like when I, at the age of twelve, baked Mom a birthday cake with so much food coloring in it that it didn't cook all the way through, or the time the bartender at my sister's wedding gave Mom WAY too much alcohol, or riding the carousel at Pier 39 with Mom, or the great joy she had with her new kitty), just not a lot of celebrations on Mother's Day.

How wonderful that there is a day set aside to honor our mothers! It's a shame that we don't always take advantage of it. Of course, I am of the opinion that we should honor our mothers every single day of the year, not only on the second Sunday in May. I'm reminded of an old Captain Kangaroo song, 'It's Another Be Good To Mommy Day."

For weeks now I have seen advertising for gifts, keepsakes, flowers, special brunch (or other meals), cards, flowers, and just about anything to honor our mothers. Too commercial? Well according to Wikipedia, "Americans spend approximately $2.6 billion on flowers, $1.53 billion on pampering gifts—like spa treatments—and another $68 million on greeting cards." Wow! Now I'm not saying our mothers aren't worth it, but I think gifts from the heart have more meaning. Treat Mom to breakfast in bed. Give her a handmade card. Offer more help around the house. Show her you love her.

Today might be a difficult day for those whose mother has passed away but honor her with your memories of her and let the world see her goodness when they see the good person you have become.  Whether you mother is alive or not, think of her today, and be grateful.  

when someone needs you

This has been a tough week for me and the week ahead will be even tougher. I could easily tell you why, but this blog is NOT about me. It really is about all of us and how we can all make a difference. So, in that spirit, I'd like to share one of those anonymous stories that has been floating around the internet. The story is not about anyone I know, and I don't even know the author. I do know the point of the story though. The next time someone needs you, just be there. Read on -

A nurse took the tired, anxious serviceman to the bedside. “Your son is here,” she said to the old man. She had to repeat the words several times before the patient’s eyes opened.

Heavily sedated because of the pain of his heart attack, he dimly saw the young uniformed Marine standing outside the oxygen tent. He reached out his hand. The Marine wrapped his toughened fingers around the old man’s limp ones, squeezing a message of love and encouragement.

The nurse brought a chair so that the Marine could sit beside the bed. All through the night the young Marine sat there in the poorly lighted ward, holding the old man’s hand and offering him words of love and strength. Occasionally, the nurse suggested that the Marine move away and rest awhile. He refused.

Whenever the nurse came into the ward, the Marine was oblivious of her and of the night noises of the hospital - the clanking of the oxygen tank, the laughter of the night staff members exchanging greetings, the cries and moans of the other patients. Now and then she heard him say a few gentle words. The dying man said nothing, only held tightly to his son all through the night.

Along towards dawn, the old man died. The Marine released the now lifeless hand he had been holding and went to tell the nurse. While she did what she had to do, he waited.

Finally, she returned. She started to offer words of sympathy, but the Marine interrupted her, “Who was that man?” he asked.

The nurse was startled, “He was your father,” she answered.

“No, he wasn’t,” the Marine replied. “I never saw him before in my life.”

“Then why didn’t you say something when I took you to him?”

“I knew right away there had been a mistake, but I also knew he needed his son, and his son just wasn’t here. When I realized that he was too sick to tell whether or not I was his son, knowing how much he needed me, I stayed. I came here tonight to find a Mr. William Grey. His Son was killed in Iraq today, and I was sent to inform him. What was this Gentleman’s Name?“

The nurse with tears in her eyes answered, “Mr. William Grey."

Leo XIV

There is a new pope, as you probably know already, elected yesterday on the fourth ballot of the conclave, Leo XIV is the 267th pontiff and he comes from the United States. The new head of the Roman Catholic Church and sovereign of the Vatican City State is 69 years old.

There is extensive information coming out about the Holy Father, so need for me to write a biography here. Anyone can easily check the constant news accounts and his Wikipedia entry.

In addition to speaking English, he also speaks Spanish, Italian, French, and Portuguese along with some German. The new Pope can also read Latin. It seems like we will have an easy time understanding him.

His inauguration Mass will be held on May 18 in Saint Peter's Square. We will see him a lot before than as he performs numerous official duties. We will also be paying attention to his personal views on Church policy and on social and political issues.

Pope Leo is the first pope in my lifetime to be younger than me. He appears to be in very good health and be a long-serving Pope.  My hope is that he brings a lot of good and that I can comfortably write about him often.

Read any good books lately?

Have you read any good books lately? Seriously. That might sound like an odd question here, but books can be powerful tools! It might be a book you read that will inspire you to change the world. If you don't read much, you should try it. You will find amazing things!

I book can bring you a lot of information too. If you love cooking or building or designing or any number of hobbies, books can be of great help. They can show you how to do things and even give you ideas of things you might never have thought of.

How about a nice adventure story or trashy romance novel or a suspenseful murder mystery? The fiction on your bookshelves can transport you to just about anywhere. Want to learn a new hobby or explore history? There are all kinds of non-fiction options. Having a tense day? Perhaps a book of poetry can help soothe things. How about a volume of jokes and riddles? Maybe what you need is just a nice coffee table book filled with great photographs.

If your home is without much of a literary selection, surely there is a library not too far away. If you're lucky, there might even be a nice little bookstore with selections that not only might bring you joy, some titles you might bring home for others too. After all, the joy of books is good to share. Books make good presents too!

more ways to brighten the day

Remember those lists we have begun here before?  Well let's see what else we can add to make a difference in the lives of others. In no particular order, here are a number of additional ideas. 

 

Give another driver your parking spot.  Give your full attention to someone in need and simply listen.  Stop by a nursing home, and visit someone who has no family nearby.  Have a clean-up party in the park.  Bring coworkers a special treat.  Buy cold drinks for the people next to you at a ball game.  Spend some time serving food at a meal program for the needy.  Volunteer to be a tutor in a school.  Remember the bereaved with phone calls, cards, plants, and food.

 

Volunteer to read to kids in the library.  Donate time at a senior center.  Give a pair of tickets to a concert or baseball game to a stranger.  Send a gift anonymously to a friend.  Transport someone who can’t drive.  Make telephone calls in support of equality urging others to put aside hate.  Send a treat to a school or day-care center.  Volunteer at an organization that needs help.  Go through your closets and find several nice items and then donate them to a shelter.  Buy books for a day care or school.  Give toys to the children at a shelter.  Volunteer to fix up an elderly couple’s home.

Invite someone new for dinner, either in your home or in a restaurant. Say nice things randomly to facebook and twitter friends.  Buy some bottles of water and randomly hand them out to strangers on the street.  Drop off a plant or a plate of cookies to your nearby police or fire station.  Clean graffiti from neighborhood walls and buildings.  Buy a stranger a free pizza.  Mow a neighbor’s grass or sweep a neighbor’s walk.  Offer to return a shopping cart to the store for someone loading a car.

Pay for the person behind you in the movie line.  Tell your parents/children why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a supermarket or drugstore employee and then praise him/her through that company’s corporate office.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Tell your boss that you think he/she does a good job.  Give blood.  Treat someone to fresh fruit.  Sing at a nursing home. 

 

Let's let this list keep on growing!

 

family

I don't understand the fighting that too often goes on within families and I certainly don't understand people walking out or disowning. Family (to me) is forever. It's not like some kind of club you resign from.

Is family important in times of crisis or distress?  Of course!  These days we need our families more than ever.  Show the love.  Never turn your back.

How can a parent turn their back on a child?  How can a kid walk out on mom or dad?  How do sisters and brothers stop speaking to each other?  Family (to me) is about love. With love there is no fighting or walking out - or kicking out. With love there is respect and there is discussion and there is understanding and hope. Family is the foundation for all that we are.

I remember an interview with Angelina Jolie from several years ago in which the actress said it best: "Family is what grounds you."  Indeed.

Van Gogh's legacy

The Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh was many things (not just the inspiration for Don McLean's 1971 hit song), but we remember him most for his numerous self-portraits and his lovely starscapes. Van Gogh was not famous during his lifetime, but his posthumous fame shows us a man who not only was an incredible artist, but also a man of great wisdom. Much of the information we have of him is from correspondence between him and his brother.

One thing I find particularly inspiring is this thought from him: "The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore."

He also said, "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

This probably isn't what you were expecting from me on this May morning. I was thinking about kindness (I write another blog every day about being kind in the world) and self-doubt came to mind. Just like we should never hold back from being kind and caring people, we should also not let things hold us back, especially those voices of self-doubt from within. Just do it!

last request

Do you ever read the obituaries in the newspaper? Sometimes they can be humorous and sometimes they simply gave details of someone's life. Lately though I have come across several that are very inspiring, not just because of the life that had been led, but because of a last request.  There was a wonderful obituary a newspaper last week that brought me to tears.  A brother wrote some very touching words about his sister who had lived with cerebral palsy.  "I wish I could have made you laugh one more time," he wrote.

Frequently in obituaries there will be an "in lieu of flowers" statement, that directs folks to a charity that is significant to the deceased.  I also have seen some very nice "last requests."  In telling of one man who had recently passed away, the obituary said that one of his last wishes was for any person reading the obituary to perform a good deed in his honor for someone that they may have had friction with or disliked. Wow! Someone wanted to continue the love even after they were gone. How wonderful. How many people did a good deed in his honor? There is of course no way to know, but what a wonderful idea!

Maybe this will inspire folks reading this to make other last requests. What would you want your legacy to be? How would you like to be an inspiration to strangers, even after you are gone?  Of course, estate planning is another way to help those who come after you while also keeping your name alive.

The innocence of children

I remember writing here a few years ago about the innocence of children saying that babies don't hate you because of your skin color or your sexual orientation or you height or weight or gender or religion or for any reason at all. Think about it. We are born without all of that negative stuff attached. Children don't know how to hate. Why can't we keep it that way?

Who is teaching our children the bad thoughts and the bad words and the bad actions? The answer of course is that we are. We are teaching discrimination. We are teaching hate. We are taking away the innocence of our children.  Oh most are not doing it on purpose - I'm not saying that, but that doesn't make it any better.  Children look to their parents, teachers, pastors, doctors, and babysitters for a map of how to act.  They follow our lead.  If we discriminate - if we hate others, they very easily copy our actions.

If you have ever heard a small child using foul language, you have an idea of what I am talking about.  If it stopped at language, we might not think it bad, but kids are learning more and more bad behaviors from the very folks who should be teaching them good.  Let's be positive with our children.  Let's teach them about love, instead of the opposite.  Babies come into the world without any idea of hate. Let's not give it to them!

Still blogging after all these years

Every morning, after a shower and brisk walk (or sometimes run), I sit down and blog about kindness.  My words are ones that I usually formulate during my walk.  Sometimes I think of things to say for the next several days, which helps when I have those occasional days where my mind seems to go blank.  

Next, I write this blog - it's NOT about me.  It is about all of us and how we can make a difference in this world.  I hope you enjoy reading these words, as much as I enjoy writing them.

I have written about my personal heroes and people and organizations I greatly admire.  Toan Lam is one of those folks I will never tire of writing about.  Colin Kaepernick too.  I love telling about neighborhood people who do good deeds.  I love retelling the stories of folks like Harvey Milk, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa and so many others.  I can go on and on too about Katharine Jefferts Schori, Dan Choi, Stuart Gafney, David Chiu, Zoe Dunning, and on and on. 

 

It has been my great honor also to share the story of Lillian Weber who made a huge impact on so many people when she sewed an amazing 1,234 dresses for the organization Little Dresses for Africa, working on past her 100th birthday. The story of Dan McKernan and Barn Sanctuary which he created and runs, is another tale I am so happy to tell.  I remember writing here about the Hat Lady and of course several entries about the wonderful Arnel Pineda.

 

When I began this back in 2008, I had no idea I would be doing this for so long.  There are a lot more things to say though and so, I shall continue.  I hope you will continue to read, and I hope you will also share any comments and suggestions here from time to time.  Without you, there really would be no point in doing this!

What are you wearing?

Do people ever begin a conversation with you because of your clothing? Yesterday I was wearing a t-shirt from one of my favorite organizations, Go Inspire Go. I've written here about them before, but I never tire of telling about them because they pretty much do what I do - encourage folks to make a difference. Their founder Toan Lam (pictured here wearing a shirt like the one I had on yesterday), inspires me every single day with his posts on the Go Inspire Go website and on social media.

Every year I participate in various fundraising events and generally there are special shirts or jackets, which I enjoy wearing because it gives attention to the event, and it gives me a great opportunity to billboard the organization. I have a Light the Night jacket from several years ago that I always wear around the time of that event each year and when I am out trying to raise sponsors. I suppose we all do the same thing to some degree when we wear shirts from our schools or favorite teams.

I love telling people about some of my favorite charities though and it was great yesterday when a total stranger pointed to my shirt and said "What's gig"? After a few minutes of talking about Go Inspire Go, I suggested he watch some of their videos and I directed him to http://goinspirego.com/ - you should check it out too, if you don't already know about them.