Dr King always said it so well

The past few days have been very frustrating.  I know that hate exists, but we are seeing it in huge amounts right now, and it's making me sick.  I don't think I will ever understand hate.

 

The words of the Rev Martin Luther King, Jr have always inspired me and brought be a sense of peace.  Whatever the subject, Dr King always said it so well.  In the past few days there have been a lot of quotes from him floating around.  This one in particular moved me:

 

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

Learning to be a hero

Does being a hero require a special license or certificate? Are there classes you can take to learn to be a hero? Can only some people be heroes?

When you come across a horrible car accident on the freeway and rush to the aid of the victims, you become a hero.  It wasn't something planned or studied for but rather it was a basic human response.  The same is true when you see injustice and you stand up and fight against it.  While you may have had more time to think about it and to plan your response, you are still there, not because of a special license you hold or because it is your job.  You fight injustice because it is what good people do for each other.  It is a basic response of our humanity.

We hear a lot about heroes these days - usually folks who are just going about their chosen jobs.  Anyone can be a hero and they come in all different kinds.  Most of the heroes in the world are those quiet unsung type.  They are making a difference without much fanfare and often without any acknowledgement at all, but by doing basic good things that will benefit future generations.  You likely have some people that you consider to be heroes.  Perhaps your parents or a favorite teacher or a boss from work.  Maybe a famous person is a hero to you because of something they have done.  Superheroes like Spiderman or Wonder Woman?  Not likely. 

Eleven years ago, a hero of mine died, my mom.  Can you learn to be a hero?  I suppose the answer is partially 'yes' because so much of who I am, I learned from her.  She was a great teacher of how to be good and how to love others.  She was a nurse, but that is just a small part of what made her a hero.  Not a day goes by that I don't act in ways that she influenced.  If I am a hero to anyone, it is because of what I learned from Mom.

Here in this blog I have introduced you to many heroes.  One of them is Jason Chu.  I even shared his video, Marvels.  The lyrics are so powerful, I still think of them from time to time.  The closing words are so very true:  "But I’ve learned: a hero isn’t about being super We become heroes because of what makes us human."

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you.

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, then proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call your local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.

twenty-three years ago

At the National September 11 Memorial and Museum at Ground Zero in New York City, is this wall with a quote from ancient Roman poet Virgil:  "No day shall erase you from the memory of time."  Indeed. Today there will be memorials and there will be discussion, and folks will retell their memories of that horrible day when four coordinated terrorist attacks by al-Qaeda against the United States happened on the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

Today is the anniversary of one of our country's most horrible days.  Yes, there have been other sad moments, but this was a morning of pure evil.  This isn't my first time writing about it of course.  I have written here about that black day in our history, every single year since I began this blog. 

We know about the nearly 3,000 who lost their lives and the 6,000 others who were injured.  There were heroes too - not just the firefighters, police, doctors, paramedics, and other rescue workers, but also the average folks who just happened to be there and who jumped in to help.  It was a frightening day, a dark day for our country, but it was also a day Americans can be proud of because of all the unselfish acts of heroism.

The museum in New York remembers the day and tells the story of thousands of people there.  You can find more information about what to expect there at their website https://www.911memorial.org/

it's My Right

Way back when our country began, only white males who owned property were allowed to vote.  There are those who would like to see that policy return, but thankfully the right to vote is now enshrined in the US Constitution and several amendments.  ALL citizens who have reached the age of eighteen, have the right to vote.

 

Election Day is just a couple of months away and we are seeing more and more political advertising.  Who should we vote for?  Does it even matter?  Yes, it matters a lot, and the good citizens will look at the issues and then make choices.  Now is a good time to start thinking about it.  Don't wait until the last minute to make these important decisions.  

 

It's my right.  I can vote or I can stay home.  Why would you choose the latter?  We can decide who our senators and congresspeople will be.  We can decide who will be our governor.  Think about it.  We have the power.  Together we can do some incredible things.  So many parts of the world don't have such power.  Why would we want to throw it away?  This year's presidential race gets so much attention that we sometimes forget about the other matters, but they all are important.

 

I cannot stress this enough.  If you truly care about your community, your state, your nation, get out there and let your voice be heard.  VOTE!  There really is a LOT at stake.

Labor is Life

Thomas Carlyle was a Scottish philosopher, essayist, teacher, and historian during the Victorian era and the man who gave us the wonderful quote that appears on this stamp. Today is Labor Day in the United States and Canada. The holiday did not exist back in Carlyle's day, but a day set aside to honor the worker is something I think he would have approved of.

Too many people these days don't get the significance of this holiday. It isn't about that last summer picnic or the day before school begins and it isn't about sales at the mall and your favorite department stores. Today is about the worker and about the unions that have made our laborers strong. 

Labor is something that every single one of us does at some point. Labor really is life! We need to work to earn money and we need to work to keep our bodies active and strong. While those picnics and sales are fine, take a moment and pause to think about the real reason for this day and be thankful for our strong labor movement.

Quoting Carlyle: "Labour is Life: from the inmost heart of the Worker rises his god-given Force, the sacred celestial Life-essence breathed into him by Almighty God; from his inmost heart awakens him to all nobleness; to all knowledge, 'self-knowledge' and much else, so soon as Work fitly begins."

Suicide Prevention

Preventing suicide involves everyone in the community and it isn't just a one day or one month affair, but September is a monthlong awareness time in hopes of getting more people involved.  The number one obstacle to prevention is silence.  While this may sound like a slogan.  It is very true.

Here are a few things that everyone can do: Ask someone you are worried about if they’re thinking about suicide.  Keep them safe. Reduce access to lethal means for those at risk.  Be there with them. Listen to what they need.  Listening is so very important. Follow up to see how they’re doing.  This simple information comes from National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

If you're in a crisis, please dial 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 to instantly connect with a trained crisis counselor, 24/7, for free.

There is more.  The biggest thing is to break those old taboos.  Communication is very important.  Many health care providers are now asking the question "Have you ever thought about harming yourself"?  Despite years of not talking about the subject, people need to know it is okay to talk.  Silence is not helpful.

I am not a mental health expert and don't want you to think I have all the answers, but this is so very important.  Become more aware.  Care.  If you need help for yourself or someone else, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.  Please feel free to share this information widely.

Turn Around

Do you feel like you are just going nowhere in your job or in you education or in your social activities? There are other options, you know. The song that says It's too late to turn back now, is WRONG. You can always change!

Now, I'm not saying that you should make a change. You are the one who needs to make that decision.  First, step back from the picture and look at all sides. You might want to talk about things with a close family member or friend. You might also want to seek out a professional for advice. Just know that because you are heading in a certain direction, doesn't mean you have to keep going that way. Is it the right direction for you?

No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. Nothing says you cannot admit being wrong. If you are, be confident and know that there is no shame in turning around.

 

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothes?  How do churches pay their bills?  What keeps the doors open at neighborhood free clinics?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important, and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

Is it EVER about me?

The blog says It's NOT about me. So, you might be thinking, "Is it ever about me?" Well yes, and no. I suppose I should explain.

If you are new to reading these daily messages, you might not know just what the name means. Most blogs are about the writer's adventures through life - his vacations, his politics, his cooking skills, his day-to-day opinions about current events. This blog, as the name says, is NOT about me. It would be misleading to say though that it is only about you. Actually, it is about ALL of us! To be more specific, it's about how we each can help make this a better world.

So that question: "Is it ever about me?" - yes. It's never about only you. It's about you and me and everyone else - ALL of us. Together, we shape the future, and together, we can change the world.

Thanks for reading. Tell your friends we are here. Comment below too and share some of your ideas. Let's keep working to make the world better for everyone!

more and more new ideas

Every single morning I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

happy birthday to many

August just happens to be my birth month, but as you know, this is NOT about me, so I won't talk about my own birthday, but I do want to mention a few more.  This is indeed the month to say happy birthday to many!

Today is the birthday of former President Barack Obama, who turns 63.  Another US President, Bill Clinton, turns 78 on the 19th of this month. I have a couple of dear friends who share the same birthday as me and a number of celebrities share the same birthday too (including Mary McCartney, Shania Twain, Jason Priestley).  The list for the month is actually quite lengthy. 

 

People like to be remembered on their birthdays - not necessarily with expensive gifts.  A card, email, or phone call can certainly brighten someone's day as well.

how we paint it is up to us

For a number of years now I have profiled people and organizations who give back and really make a difference in our world and, when not doing that, have made suggestions about other ways we ALL can give back. Occasionally I get a bit ahead of myself and start doing multiple things at the same time. (Currently I am involved in several fundraisers for example and might not be giving fair attention to them all).

It is easy to spread yourself too thin. It is also easy for some folks to sit and do nothing. There is a halfway point though!  I don't think I am painting nearly as much as I want to.

What we do in life is of course up to us. We are given this broad canvas on which to paint, but the picture isn't known right away. Some of us might paint many pictures during our lifetime. We might get involved in many different things. Some of us will do less. Sadly, there will be some who do virtually nothing at all. The significant thing here is that how we paint, is up to us.

So, take that canvas, and make something really beautiful!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

Picture cooperation

I've told you this particular story about cooperation before, but I really like it, and since cooperation is such a great thing, I thought I'd share this story again.  (It isn't my story, by the way, but I don't know the author).

It's about a man who was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was exactly the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together – a picture of cooperation. Working together as a team, we can do so much more!

Think about it.  How wonderful this world would be if we all worked together!

summertime kindness

It's the middle of the summer. The days are hot. VERY hot in some places.  Many of us are frustrated by stories in the news, especially the shooting last night.  People are in a hurry to get to their vacation spots.  Along the way, some folks get a little short-tempered. In the midst of all of this, I have COVID-19 AGAIN!  What a great time though to practice some random acts of kindness!

Tell people in your life why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a store employee and then praise him or her through that company’s corporate office.  Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through.  Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.  As you go about your day, pick up trash.  Donate blood.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Call or visit a homebound person.  Pay a compliment at least once a day.

 

These are just a few ideas.  Use your imagination.  The list really can be endless!  Summer of course isn't endless, and in a month or so, as summer winds down, let's let our kindness continue winding up!

Long Walk to Freedom

It was on this date in 1918 that Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was born. We knew him as a lawyer, politician, activist, great leader, philanthropist, and a person who did indeed change the world. His autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, was published in 1984 and I can remember reading it around that time and thinking about how incredibly strong this man was to have done so much and to have endured so much. Mandela presided over the transition from apartheid minority rule to a multicultural democracy in South Africa and he showed the world how people from all backgrounds can work together.

If ever there was a poster person for what this blog is all about, it would be Nelson Mandela.  He was not only a great leader who made a huge difference in this world, but he did it with dignity and grace and a sense of humor. 

 

It was Mandela that said "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires." Many of us experience our own long walk to freedom.  How about you?

Seeing Mandela's life and remembering his words can inspire us and push us forward.  In his words: "For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
 

You'll never walk alone

We are getting closer and closer to this year's AIDS Walk San Francisco in Golden Gate Park. I have registered to participate for the 35th time and my fundraising is going along nicely. (Please click HERE if you would like to become one of my sponsors). Thanks so very much to everyone who has donated so far!

My personal finances won't allow me to actually be present this year, but I still want to raise awareness and raise funds.

One thing I will miss comes at the end of the opening ceremony each year.  There is a singing of a song that has become an anthem for AIDS Walk more or less, but as I think about the lyrics right now, I realize that it can easily be an anthem for each of our lives!

"You'll Never Walk Alone" is a show tune from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel, and it had a popularity back in the sixties when Gerry and the Pacemakers recorded it. We could all get something every day of our lives though out of these wonderful and encouraging words:

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky

And the sweet, silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness

It has been 248 since this document was written. How many Americans today know these words? If you were asked to recite the Declaration of Independence, could you? Most people are familiar with the first sentence of the second paragraph: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." What about the rest?

The first paragraph is something we had to memorize when I was in school: "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Today of course is Independence Day, the Fourth of July.  A document that refers to equality, and the act of standing up for ourselves back then, is something we should celebrate indeed. Where are we today though? We are missing a LOT of liberty here in this country.  There is so no true equality here.  How about life and the pursuit of happiness? With all the violence - the daily murders and assaults, it seems that so many are being denied their lives and basic happiness. With parades, fireworks and patriotic music over the weekend, along with picnics and boating, and baseball games, there is a lot of celebrating going on.  From where I sit though, we need to not only celebrate this wonderful country, but work to see that equality becomes the actually way we live, and that gun violence is something from the past. Think America is great? Think it can be greater?

I want to see the day when every person is treated with decency and with respect. We can make it happen. Let's stop the hate and heal the divisions.

Show the world you care

Showing that you care can make a world of difference.  "Being there" is how some might refer to it.

My mother used to remember the birthday of every single person she knew.  She would give presents to some and send cards to some, but to so many there would be a telephone call.  It wouldn't be a long one necessarily, but she would wish them a happy birthday.  She showed by her call, that she cared.

When you hear that someone is ill or hear of someone's death, a brief call (for someone you are very close to) and certainly a card, conveys the same message - "I'm here for you.  I care."

How about the race for political office or an important court ruling or the campaign to raise money for the church improvements or any number of causes?  Show you care.  Get involved.  Become a part of it.  There are certainly many ways to show you care.  You might have some of your own suggestions.  Showing the world you care is really a good thing!

hope

Hope is something that we ALL need. To me, that is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.  In An Essay on Man, Alexander Pope wrote "Hope springs eternal in the human breast." Indeed.

In our LGBTQ+ community, there is often a lack of hope.  That was what Harvey Milk was talking about in his famous "hope" speech from 1978. Here is a portion of that speech:

"The first gay people we elect must be strong. They must not be content to sit in the back of the bus. They must not be content to accept pablum. They must be above wheeling and dealing. They must be -for the good of all of us - independent, unbought. The anger and the frustrations that some of us feel is because we are misunderstood, and friends can't feel the anger and frustration. They can sense it in us, but they can't feel it. Because a friend has never gone through what is known as coming out. I will never forget what it was like coming out and having nobody to look up toward. I remember the lack of hope - and our friends can't fulfill it.

"I can't forget the looks on faces of people who've lost hope. Be they gay, be they seniors, be they blacks looking for an almost-impossible job, be they Latins trying to explain their problems and aspirations in a tongue that's foreign to them. I personally will never forget that people are more important than buildings. I use the word 'I' because I'm proud. I stand here tonight in front of my gay sisters, brothers and friends because I'm proud of you. I think it's time that we have many legislators who are gay and proud of that fact and do not have to remain in the closet. I think that a gay person, up-front, will not walk away from a responsibility and be afraid of being tossed out of office. After Dade County, I walked among the angry and the frustrated night after night and I looked at their faces. And in San Francisco, three days before Gay Pride Day, a person was killed just because he was gay. And that night, I walked among the sad and the frustrated at City Hall in San Francisco and later that night as they lit candles on Castro Street and stood in silence, reaching out for some symbolic thing that would give them hope. These were strong people, whose faces I knew from the shop, the streets, meetings and people who I never saw before but I knew. They were strong, but even they needed hope.

"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant on television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.

"So if there is a message I have to give, it is that I've found one overriding thing about my personal election, it's the fact that if a gay person can be elected, it's a green light. And you and you and you, you have to give people hope."

Let us remember and give thanks to all who are no longer with us but were part of this movement. Without them, it wouldn't have been the same. They left footprints that will always be remembered.  If some of the events during this LGBTQ+ Pride Month have given you hope, that's a good thing.  Many people have run out of hope.  Harvey Milk was right of course.  You have to give people hope.  It is my dream that someday that will be a reality, and I truly believe that we CAN make it happen.    John Lennon believed the same thing - “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”  

Ellen

I would probably love Ellen Lee DeGeneres even if she wasn't an LGBTQ+ activist. I loved her sitcoms and her talk show and her movies, and I love her stand-up comedy performances. I also love her caring and her humanitarianism.

Lately I have been thinking about how much I miss Ellen.  I used to watch her daytime show regularly, either as it aired or a replay later in the day.  Her visibility as a gay woman was such a great thing for the LGBTQ+ community.  There was really something special though about all of those people she helped.

I'll never forget the time she featured two guys on her show who attended the prom together. They were best friends, but only one of the two was gay.

Ellen really has that whole "random acts of kindness" thing down pat. That's the part of her show I really enjoyed the most. She changed a lot of lives for the better and her closing line each day was such a great reminder - "Be kind to one another!"

Thanks, Ellen, for a lot of great entertainment and for being such a great role model.  Thanks for making a difference.  I hope we will be seeing more of you real soon.

Remembering Wilson

The name Wilson F. Fang might not be a familiar one to you, but it will always mean a lot to me. Reader's Digest magazine used to have a regular feature where folks wrote about the most unforgettable character in their lives.   I've said this before, and it continues to be true - that person for me is Wilson.  It's been almost nine years since he died, and I still think about him all the time.

I have fond memories of Wilson during LGBTQ+ Pride Months in the past and especially good memories on this date.  Today would have been his 51st birthday.  

Wilson was active in San Francisco's Castro LGBTQ+ community, Gay Asian Pacific Alliance, and held the title of Mr. GAPA 2005.  He was the kind of person you immediately felt comfortable with.  I've been participating in AIDS Walk San Francisco from the beginning and Wilson would sponsor me every year.  I only knew him for about twenty years, but such wonderful years!  I remember sitting one night talking with him for hours at a now defunct restaurant.  Wilson also loved to travel, and he generously shared pictures and stories of his adventures.  His warmth and kindness will always be remembered.

Happy birthday in heaven dear Wilson.  Thank you for the times we shared.  I'm sure you are showing your kindness now to the angels.

Oh my!

We knew him first as as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, but we have come to know him as so much more. George Takei is also a very outspoken activist who is paving the way for LGBTQ+ generations yet to come. When I watched him on the bridge during those Star Trek episodes, I had no idea George was a gay man, but know the whole world knows and is proud.

Most people might know him largely from his voice work and his acting, including a classic Twilight Zone episode, an old Perry Mason, and his legacy project, the more recent musical Allegiance.  I really like his activism though and all the things he is accomplishing now as an openly gay married man.  With husband Brad by his side, he really is going where no man has gone before.

Now about that whole "oh my!" thing. I love that he says it, but so do I and I've been saying it since I was in high school. No, I didn't copy George Takei. I'd never heard of him back when I first said it.

I remember the first time I met him. Kind, polite, and warm. I don't easily say that about many celebrities. It was at an LGBTQ event, and we didn't have time for much conversation, but I've seen a lot of him in public, including his famous facebook posts, and I can easily say he is making a positive difference.  He seemed like the perfect person to end the month with.

Happy Pride!

Rise

This 30-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years. His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought-after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed. Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation. Justin was one of those who was harassed. Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow, he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone.

I haven't actually met Justin, but I sure would like to. He gives back and makes a difference and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work. He inspires me every single day, especially with his Letters By Justin where he personally writes encouraging messages.

 

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at http://www.riseagainstbullying.ca/ (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

The Smile of Ken

If you read this blog regularly, you may recall me writing about Kenneth Felts back in 2020 saying "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay! Since then, Ken met a man, Johnny Javier Hau, and fell in love. Last year they married, and the New York Times wrote up their story.

If you don't know the story, let me catch you up. After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret.  It seems his daughter is also gay, so in 2020 he came out to her, and then to the whole world.  All the details are in a book he has written My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90.  I found the book to be both interesting and very moving.

I have had the privilege of communicating with Ken and Johnny these past few years and while we have never met in person, everything I see is great joy and happiness.  Coming out can be a very good thing.  In nearly every picture I see of Ken, he is smiling.  How wonderful!  I look forward to someday meeting him in person.  I'd love to hear more of his stories.

Who else

Are there other openly LGBTQ+ celebrities that we haven't mentioned?  Indeed, there are!  I'm thinking of Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Elliot Page, Neil Patrick Harris, Robin Roberts, Dustin Lance Black, Chaz Bono, Ian McKellen, Holland Taylor, Ronen Rubinstein, Barry Manilow, Wesley Eure, and Adam Lambert to name just a few.  

There is also a long list of famous LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers who are no longer living.  So many of them weren't able to come out during their lifetime.  These days it seems to be much safer in many countries to live as your true self.  It wasn't that long ago, when you had to hide your true identity if you were part of the LGBT+ community.

When I hear Lily Tomlin talking about her wife or Lance Bass saying something about his husband, it warms my heart.  Visibility makes a difference.  

As Pride Month continues, I will write here about some other people who have publicly come out.  In addition to all of the performers, there are also the writers, athletes, politicians, activists, and others in the public eye who have come out over the years.  The list is too long to name everyone and that is a very good thing.  The more people come out, the easier it is for the next person.  Perhaps the day will come when we won't judge people by their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Perhaps.

It's Mikey Bustos Day

One of my favorite members of our LGBTQ+ community is Canadian Mikey Bustos. (His full name is actually Michael John Yadan Tumanguil Pestano Tilapia Bustos III, but I'll just call him Mikey).

For many years I have enjoyed the humor that Mikey shares in his videos and also his great musical abilities.  Click HERE to enjoy some of his music.  Earlier this year he performed with Debbie Gibson.

It was back in 2019 that Mikey came out as bisexual and also told us that he is romantically involved with his manager RJ Garcia. The two of them share a lot of their lives via social media, including a wonderful house and farm they built in the Philippines.  Last week Mikey's mom flew in from her home in Toronto and they headed off to a vacation in Vietnam.

I have written about Mikey for the past several years during Pride month, not only because he is openly bisexual, but also because today is his birthday.  Happy birthday Mikey and thanks for continuing to share so much joy!

Adam Bouska

During this Pride Month, I've been writing here about LGBTQ events and heroes.  Ever heard of Adam Bouska?  I have written about him here before, but his name might not be as well-known as some of the others I have written about.  I'm sure you have seen his work. Openly gay Adam is an American fashion photographer who was best known for his pictures of male models, until the NOH8 campaign.  That's him in the picture.

It was back in 2009 that Adam and partner Jeff Parshley, in response to the passage of Proposition 8, began NOH8. The photographs feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, (symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 or other legislation), with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest, as in the photo here of Adam.  LGBTQ leaders and many celebrities were pictured at the start of Adam's NOH8 campaign and folks who believe in equality are still being photographed in this manner.

The photography of Adam Bouska has also been a part of fundraisers for HIV/AIDS, marriage equality, and pet adoptions.  Examples of his photos and more about Adam can be found on his website at http://www.adambouska.com/

Wonderful Tita Aida

Way back in the 90s, I had the great pleasure of first working with Nikki Calma, better known to most as Tita Aida. There are so many incredible things I could write about her: her activism, her wonderful smile, the energy that never seems to run out, her willingness to give back and make a difference. Oh my!

Back when I first met her, she was her working with the Asian AIDS Project in San Francisco, which later became the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center and now known as San Francisco Community Health Center. (That organization quickly became one of my favorites, by the way).

She has taken on leadership roles at the API Pride Pavilion and Stage at San Francisco Pride and has also served on the Pride Board of Directors. She also lends her incredible talent as a performer to emcee portions of these events. The annual GAPA Runway is another place where you will find her behind the microphone.

Tita has been a leader for Trans March SF (which takes place each year during Pride Weekend) and for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. She has hosted numerous community events and fundraisers. Everything she does is with style and charm. Pretty much everyone in San Francisco is glad that Tita Aida came their way.

Seldom do I write here about people I actually know, but I should have written about this wonderful person long ago.  I not only know this person, but am proud to call her a friend!

Gilbert's Rainbow

Gilbert Baker has been written about before in this blog.  He certainly made a difference in this world.  When he passed away seven years ago, not only did I write about him, but his passing was reported on the tv network newscasts.  The rainbow flag that he created continues to give hope to people all around the world!

More tributes have come, including the naming of things in his honor.  I'm always amazed at how many know his story, and the story of the remarkable flag he created. While folks know about the flag, not as many know that Baker served in the United States Army from 1970 to 1972, stationed as a medic in San Francisco at the very beginning of the gay rights movement. In 1972 he worked on Proposition 19, the first marijuana legalization initiative in California. It was then that he learned to sew and made banners for gay-rights and anti-war protest marches. He also became one of the early members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The posthumous release of his memoir, "Rainbow Warrior: My Life in Color" (Chicago Review Press, 2019), is a great way to find out more about him.

It was a joy for me to work with Gilbert Baker a number of years ago, and I will always be grateful for this man who really gave back and made a difference.  With every waving rainbow flag this Pride Month, and always, take a moment, and think of Gilbert.

The man behind the Quilt

If you know about The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, the man you can thank for it is Cleve Jones.  Along with Marcus Conant, Frank Jacobson and Richard Keller, Jones also created the Kaposi's Sarcoma Research and Education Foundation, which later became the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The tv program you enjoyed a few years ago, showing LGBTQ history (When We Rise), was based on a book by Jones "When We Rise: My Life in the Movement."

Close friends over the years with the late rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker, Cleve Jones might not be a name you recognize, and his face might not be familiar, but he has been an LGBTQ and HIV activist most of his life.  The stories he has are a powerful picture of how far we have come.  Cleve Jones knew Harvey Milk, and the seeds of activism were probably planted back then.  He has been a giant in the lgbtq community ever since.  In addition, Cleve has been a Community and Political Coordinator with a major hospitality workers’ labor union.

With over 48,000 3’ x 6’ panels, the story of The Quilt, is a fascinating one. You can learn more about it, and even donate in support, at http://www.aidsquilt.org/  This past weekend, The National AIDS Memorial marked the 35th anniversary of the AIDS Memorial Quilt with an historic outdoor display in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, featuring 3,000 panels of the Quilt.

Cleve Jones is not someone I know well - I used to see him at events or walking around the neighborhood back when I lived in San Francisco, but I certainly respect and admire all he has done, and so am pleased to mention him here during Pride Month.

We need to know our history

I began this month by writing a bit about LGBTQ+ celebrations and reasons why they are necessary.  I also wrote a little about music, film, and other entertainment.  Hearing a story recently about someone who wasn't quite sure who Marsha P. Johnson was, I knew I needed to head in that direction.  We need to know our history,

Marsha P. Johnson was an activist in New York City from the 1960s to the 1990s. Co-founder of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, Marsha was also a visible presence at protests and marches and at the same time was a mother figure to young trans women. Facing ridicule, bullying, and harassment, Marsha did not yield from being her true self, and in doing so made a huge difference. (The middle initial P, according to her was Pay it No Mind).

Many of us are aware of those who make a difference in the town where we live, but folks in other places do things that lead to a better life for us all.  Whether you are from New Jersey where Marsha was born, New York where she became known, or the other side of the earth, it's important to know that things she did, made a difference.   

Although the police report her death as suicide, there is much evidence to suggest that her death was as a result of a hate crime.  As part of her legacy, we should all pledge to do everything possible to end the plague of hate crimes against our trans sisters and brothers.

Performing Arts and the LGBTQ+ Community

Everyone loves a good performance, right? Well, the performing arts has long been a safer place for the LGBTQ+ community, even though it is hardly perfect and full of stereotypes. Many people think that all male ballet dancers are gay, for example, and I happen to know dozens who are not.

It is still nearly impossible to find representation of trans or bisexual people in theatre, and gay women are too often narrowly represented in terms of stereotypes.  Things though are certainly better in opera, ballet, theatre, and other performing arts, then they might be elsewhere.  

It's lovely to see so many regional theatres opening their seasons in the middle of Pride Month. It is in regional theatre that so many of our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers across the country are able to be themselves and perfect their craft. Don't get me wrong. Broadway is a wonderful exhibit of commercial theatre, but those small 99-seat theatres across the country reach some many people in those little places where there might not be any other opportunity.

Speaking of Broadway, how wonderful that the Tony Awards came last night, right in the middle on Pride Month. Hosted by queer superstar Ariana DeBose for the third consecutive year and featuring a number of high-profile LGBTQ+ stars and creatives. There was even a moment that brought me to tears - the acceptance speech by openly gay Jonathan Groff.  "My family knew the life-saving power of fanning the flame of a young person's passion without judgment… I walk through life with an open heart because you let me know that I could."

All the letters

Most people are familiar with the rainbow flag and the trans flag is fairly well known too, but what about this flag?  Do you recognize it?  This is the bisexual flag created by Michael Page to represent and increase visibility of bisexuals within the LGBTQ community and also within society as a whole.

Page says the pink represents sexual attraction to same sex only (lesbians and gay men).  The blue field represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (heterosexuals).  The overlapping purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bisexuals).

When Pride events first began, most of the emphasis was on gay men.  Gradually it has changed to include the entire LGBTQ+ umbrella, but some still don't get as much attention.  All of the letters are important, not just the first two.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) wrote an open letter to bisexuals back in 2019 (which you can read in full HERE).  That letter says in part "Pride can be a hard time for those who fall within the bisexual, pansexual, queer and sexually fluid community.  Studies show that bi people make up nearly 50% of the LGBTQ community, but too often it can feel like we’re all alone, walking a line between being 'too queer' or 'not queer enough.'"  During this Pride Month, remember your bisexual sisters and brothers and remember too that all groups are important. 

Randy was first

Back in the late 70s, when I lived in San Francisco, I met a television reporter named Randy Shilts.  A major magazine in a brief mention, said he was the first openly gay television news reporter.  I remember saying to him, "I've always been openly gay, so what made you the first?"  Regardless of who was actually first, Randy was covering things that nobody else was. 

After leaving the public tv station where he had been working, Randy went on to the major local newspaper, where he again paid more attention to lgbt issues, than any other reporter.  Books followed.  He gave us only three, but three important ones:  Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the US Military, And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, and The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

He wanted to write more.  Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church was to have been examined in his next book, but AIDS claimed his life at the young age of 42, before he was able to get to that.

I've written here about Randy Shilts before, and you may think it odd that I bring him up so much.  We knew each other, but never became close.  Randy made a difference though.  He brought us news we needed to hear.  He talked about HIV/AIDS when nobody else was.  Although there is some controversy, especially when he called for the closure of gay bathhouses, Randy continued to dig up the facts and report them to us.  He might not be recognized by everyone, but I am thrilled that he was one of the first to receive a plaque on San Francisco's Rainbow Honor Walk.

Thanks for the reports and for the books Randy.  Thanks for making a difference!

Love is love is love is love is love is love

Our LGBTQ+ heroes also includes allies - many of them, too many to separately write about, but there is one who always inspires me: Lin-Manuel Miranda.  He's a playwright, lyricist, composer, singer, actor, producer, and activist. Oh and a bunch of other things.  Most of you already know that.

Now when you work in the theatre, there's a good chance you will run into some gay people, but that doesn't necessarily mean you will be supportive.   Lin-Manuel Miranda is not only supportive, he inspires.

Back in 2016, right after the horrific Pulse nightclub massacre, Miranda won a Tony Award and his moving acceptance speech will long be remembered. "And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love. Cannot be killed or swept aside," he said in part.

Shorty afterward, he began selling a shirt at his official merchandise site which benefitted Equality Florida, a gay and lesbian advocacy group supporting victims of the Pulse shootings. On the front of the shirt if said "Love cannot be killed or swept aside.  Now fill the world with music, love and pride."  On the back, "Love is love is love is love is love is love."

The world can never have too much love.  Thank for inspiring us Mr Miranda and thanks for all the love!

Remembering Pulse

On June 12, 2016, a 29-year-old man shot and killed 49 people and wounded another 53 people in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. Each year since then, I have written about it here in this space. There is a lot of celebrating during LGBTQ+ Pride Month, but I don't want us to ever forget our tragedies. 

 

Officials have characterized the shooting as an act of terrorism, but it has not been called a hate crime. It has been argued that the shooter was not targeting the club because of gay patrons. While that may be true, the injured and the lives lost were mostly from the LGBT+ Community.

These are the names of the dead:

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chavez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22

Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

May we never forget these lives cut short.