Big step forward

Probably most people would say that they want to go forward and increase their income, their knowledge, their circle of friends, and so on. Heading forward is looked at as something positive. Standing still can become boring, no matter how comfortable it might be, and going backward is like giving up. How fast should we move though and should we work with others along the way, or do it all by ourselves?

I'm sure you can already guess what I am going to say. Together is always better.  There is strength in numbers and teamwork gets things done quicker.  Also, imagine how much help you can offer to those with less experience, and think of the help too, that can be offered to you.

 

So fast, or slow?  Baby steps or big ones?  Well sometimes you just have to take a risk.  A big step forward can have wonderful results, but it might be a little scary too.  Think about how much you believe in what you are doing and what is at stake.  Don't be afraid to ask friends and loved ones for their take on it too.  Asking for advice does not make you weak - it makes you smart. 

 

As 2024 winds down and we head to a brand-new year, let's all head forward, at a pace that is comfortable for us, and let's plan on winning.  Along the way, let's reach out to others and help them in their steps forward as well.  All the best to you in 2025!

joy to you and me

What brings you joy? Think about it for a moment. There are probably numerous answers to the question. Close your eyes and picture all those special times. For many, the joy comes in the giving too. So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you? What can you do to share the joy?

I realize I am always asking this same question in one form or another. I suppose it really isn't all that important that you write down an answer. (There isn't a wrong answer after all). How lovely though it would be if we could all be spreading that warm feeling of bliss.

I know that we have political issues these days, fears of our economy, our health in the midst of flu season, the ugliness of racism, and so many other worries. That does not mean that joy goes out the window. Maybe we just need to work on it a bit more!  It's the 6th day of Christmas and the 6th day of Hanukah.  There is reason for joy!

For me joy is splendid to be sure, but I'm one of those who is most happy when I am surrounded by happiness. When I see your delight, it in turn delights me. It's a kind of circle. There seems to be an extra amount of joy during the holidays.  Assuming that others feel the same way, we should all be spreading the joy because we therefore are all receiving it as well!

show the world your joy

Do you ever notice how small children always seem to be happy? Why can't the same be true for adults? Yes, every single moment of our life is not necessarily magic, but I think we could have a lot more joy if only we tried a little more!  Even with a pandemic all around us, increased hate crimes, and a slowed down economy, there is still something to be happy about.

Babies and small children are really good at showing off their happiness too. It seems there is something else we could copy from them!  Did you ever see a toddler giggle?  Oh my!

Someone once said that life is not about making others happy. Life is about sharing your happiness with others! Even those little tiny happy moments are worth sharing! Have I had happy moments in the past year?  You betcha!  Show the world your joy, especially when there seems to be so much darkness. You just might be surprised at the results!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

Mother's Letter to Her Gay Son

I came across this Christmas letter and I wanted to share it with you here once again. Of course, it wasn't written for this Christmas, but that really doesn't matter. I think I first shared it here four or five years ago. I don't know who the author is and I don’t even know if this is true or if it is fiction, but I was quite touched by it, and I hope you are too!

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed "not being equal" in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences. You had a passion for justice even as a child.

I remember when you were 4 and refused to eat supper until I had actually written the check for Save the Children. You were the watchdog in your kindergarten classroom after you felt your teacher was wrong to rip up a child's painting in front of the class in her effort to teach them to write their names on their papers. On that day you spoke truth to power so eloquently as you confronted your teacher after school.

As soon as you came out to us, you wanted to start a gay/straight alliance at your high school. We worried for your safety, but even more for the isolation it might have brought as you worked to make it happen. You reached out to students, teachers, and the administration and created your school's first gay/straight alliance.

When you were in college and heard that there were students being kicked out of colleges simply because they were gay, you founded another organization to confront that terrible wrong. Each of those times you taught me to take action and not be silent in the face of injustice. You have led me, and you have taught me throughout your life. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you.

As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift, I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you,
           Mama

Merry Christmas??

Merry Christmas?

There will be those - there always are, who will utter this greeting with a question mark in their voices. What's to be merry about? A slowed down economy?   Bullying, homophobia, racism, and prejudice still rearing their ugly heads? Uncertain political actions? There certainly is a lot of bad news!  The absence of a loved one?

Old Scrooge in the wonderful Dickens classic was one of those who used to question the joy of Christmas. "Humbug!" That's how he summed it all up. Scrooge found out though, and just in time, that there is always reason to be happy - there is always something to be joyful about!

I am reminded of the words preached by Saint Leo the Great way back in the fifth century:

"Today our Savior is born; let us rejoice. Sadness should have no place on the birthday of life. The fear of death has been swallowed up; life brings us joy with the promise of eternal happiness."

May we carry that message with us with no question mark at all. Merry Christmas everyone!

O Holy Night

Finally!  The special night is here!  Tonight, people all over the world will be welcoming Christmas.  Tonight is also the start of Hanukah.  That doesn't happen very often.  Even people who have no faith tradition celebrate the various holidays that come at this time of year.

 

Whether you gather with family and friends in a church at midnight and sing O Holy Night (or perhaps Silent Night) or stay at home in front of a fireplace (or the yule log on television), or light the first candle of your menorah, I hope that yours will be an enjoyable celebration.

 

The holidays are different for all of us.  We all have different traditions.  Whoever you are and wherever you are, tonight should be a wonderful time.  Be happy.  Enjoy life!

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you. 

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, then proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call your local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothes?  How do churches pay their bills?  What keeps the doors open at neighborhood free clinics?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important, and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

All kinds of holiday giving

During December there are more and more demands on us.  Oh my!  Look at the stores these days!  One of the big demands is for the best gifts.  We spend huge amounts of money for presents we can't afford.

 

I've written about this before, and of course my way is not the only way, but I think the whole gift thing has gotten way out of hand.  This blog of course is NOT about me, but it's about the heroes in our world who make a difference.  I see more of them this time of year and they aren't the folks going broke because they are overspending.  They are the people giving in their own special ways, sometimes without even spending any money.

 

I volunteer at a hospital that each year gives gifts to employees and their families who are just scraping by and can't afford any kind of presents.  Other hospital employees and volunteers donate to a fund and that money, along with funds from the hospital, brighten the lives of a number of people.  Some chip in a buck or two and others contribute a hundred dollars or more.  It all adds up.  Nobody goes broke, but many share in the joy.

 

This is just one example.  There are hundreds - all across the country.  People give out Hanukkah and Christmas gifts, end of year presents, and lots and lots of food items for festive meals.  There really are all kinds of holiday giving.  Are you aware of some special kinds of giving in your community?  Share it in the comments section so that we can all be inspired by the generosity of others.  I'll share some other stories here too.

I owe it all to Mom

Today would have been my mother's 98th birthday.  Even though it fell five days before Christmas, we tried to make a big deal of it and celebrate it as a separate occasion.  Mom always enjoyed making a big deal out of other people's birthdays, instead of folks doing things for her.

I remember back when I was a teenager, I decided to make her a birthday cake.  Using a mix and following the instructions, I thought making green cake and red frosting (traditional Christmas colors) would be appropriate.  The little food coloring I put in first didn't seem to make much difference, so I added more, and then some more.  I had no idea that this extra liquid would cause problems with the baking.  The cake never looked done, so I tried to fix things by using a lot of icing.  Oh, and I didn't wait for the cake to cool - nobody told me.  It was awful!  REALLY bad.  Mom didn't think so though.  She talked about that cake for years and years.

She and Nana taught me about kindness - not actual lessons, but just by the way they lived.  They both became heroes of mine.  I've probably mentioned Mom here more than any other person, and that is certainly appropriate.  Although this blog is NOT about me, it is about making a difference, and Mom certainly did that.  Any good things that I might do I can easily claim that I owe it all to Mom.

She passed away in 2013, but I still miss her.  I know I always will. So many times, I have wanted to call her up and share some little thing.  Do me a favor folks, if your mom is still alive, call her up today, even if just to say hello.  If your mom has already passed on, call someone else and let them know what you mean to them.  Let's keeping spreading the love!

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

On this Saturday, let us all say 'Enough!"  Let us all get involved.  Let's not see any more lives ruined because of bullying. 

Toys galore

When I think of gifts for children, the first thing that comes to mind is a teddy bear. Toys of all kinds warm the hearts of kids, especially the ones who have little or nothing. The biggest gift-giving occasion of the entire year of course is Christmas and that's now just a week away. Toy drives for needy kids truly make a difference! Consider giving. It really doesn't have to cost a lot.

 

There are stores that each year put out collection barrels for various toy drives.  The largest and best known of these is probably the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign.  Back in 1947 United States Marine Major Bill Hendricks got the ball rolling in Los Angeles, California, beginning with a handmade doll and continuing with a collection of some 5,000 toys for needy kids in his area.  That program continues to this day but now spreads nationwide.  

There are many regional and local programs too run by fire departments or police departments or other local organizations.  The hospital where I volunteer has a program.  There might be such a program in your town.  Last year a friend of mine in Las Vegas did an incredible drive himself, reaching out to all his friends.

 

This is certainly not an easy year but do what you can.  Check with your local schools, churches, police department, and local newspaper for toys drives that might exist in your area.  Perhaps you or an organization you are part of, would like to start your own collection process to help out too.  Remember, a toy in the hands of a child is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of a child who has nothing.

 

Dr King always said it so well

The past month has been very frustrating.  I know that hate exists, but we are seeing it in huge amounts right now, and it's making me sick.  I don't think I will ever understand hate.

 

The words of the Rev Martin Luther King, Jr have always inspired me and brought be a sense of peace.  Whatever the subject, Dr King always said it so well.  In the past few days there have been a lot of quotes from him floating around.  This one in particular moved me:

 

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

Not yet Christmas

You wouldn't know it from the tv advertising and the scenes in most retail stores, but it's not yet Christmas. Some people have been celebrating since September!  Really. Why the rush?

 

I hear people say it every year.  They aren't going to decorate early. Christmas is such a wonderful time, let us give it our all, but let's wait until it actually arrives.  Oh, and the twelve days of Christmas?  Let's go back to celebrating that way, but the 12 begins on December 25th - that's not when it ends!

 

I love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  I love the parties and the joy.  I really do.  What I am not a fan of is the rush and the early start.  Some folks begin trotting out Christmas decorations or merchandise before summer is even over!

 

So, let us continue with our preparations and let the season build slowly.  Let's not let any stores or businesses rob us of this great celebration and let it continue on after the sun sets on December 25th too.  Oh, and happy holidays?  I have no problem wishing folks happiness for the several celebrations that happen to come near each other each December, but there is also nothing wrong with a specific wish for a happy Chanukah or Christmas or Kwanza or New Year's, but not yet!

Is it EVER about me?

The blog says It's NOT about me. So, you might be thinking, "Is it ever about me?" Well yes, and no. I suppose I should explain.

If you are new to reading these daily messages, you might not know just what the name means. Most blogs are about the writer's adventures through life - his vacations, his politics, his cooking skills, his day-to-day opinions about current events. This blog, as the name says, is NOT about me. It would be misleading to say though that it is only about you. Actually, it is about ALL of us! To be more specific, it's about how we each can help make this a better world.

So that question: "Is it ever about me?" - yes. It's never about only you. It's about you and me and everyone else - ALL of us. Together, we shape the future, and together, we can change the world.

Thanks for reading. Tell your friends we are here. Comment below too and share some of your ideas. Let's keep working to make the world better for everyone!

The Return

Way back in 2008, I began writing a daily blog.  It's NOT about me, but about making a difference in the world.  In 2017 I began writing an additional blog about kindness. Last month something happened.  I had already lost one computer a few months back.  Then my remaining laptop also broke down.  I had nothing to write on.

I could not afford to buy a new laptop.  I can hardly even pay my bills these days.  (I don't really want to go into more detail because this blog is NOT about me).  I did think about trying to continue using a library computer, but there are days when the library is not open, and it is also sometimes difficult to get there.  Then someone gave me a computer!  

Wow!  There are some marvelous people in the world.  Of course, I already knew that.  That is what I have been writing about.  After over a month without any entries in either of my blogs, I wasn't sure I should return, but there is still so much to say.  There are still many good things to write about.  Hopefully from time to time the words I write here make a difference.  And so, today is the return.  I'm planning on picking up right where I left off.

While we are waiting

While we are waiting for election results to all be clear and to be certified, let's all take a deep breath and get back to being good neighbors, good citizens.  I was thinking especially about random acts of kindness.  Feeding the hungry seems to be at the top of most lists, but there are so many ways to do this.  So today I give you a list, in no particular order, of various random acts of kindness, many of which cost little or nothing and take very little time.  Maybe some of these will give you ideas of your own!  

Here's a simple one: call, text, or email some folks you know have little contact with others.

Sing an employee's praises to their manager or on a comment card — a little recognition goes a long way. Believe it or not, people complain more often than praise even though most workers deserve the praise more often than the complaint.

 

Load extra money in vending machines to buy the next person's snacks when they come along.  It will be a pleasant surprise for them!  Leaving a few coins out at the laundromat does the same thing.

 

When paying for your breakfast in a restaurant, ask for the check of a random diner (especially someone who is elderly or who is dining alone) and pay it without their knowing.

Help a friend see today in a wondrous new light: present them with a kaleidoscope. (They really aren't very expensive and are available in most toy stores).

Donate blood.  This is a favorite of mine because it saves lives

 

My list could go on and on of course.  Perhaps you would like to add your own suggestions in the comments section below.

the importance of voting

Some places on this earth do not let the people have a say in pretty much anything. Then there are countries, like ours, where the people do have a voice, but sadly don't always use it.  Today is Election Day.  This year we seem to be hearing about it more than ever.  It has always been important.

 

In the United States, the people decide who holds office.  We choose our mayors and governors and legislators and sheriffs and of course we the people decide who will be our president.  We have the power!  State and local propositions are there for our consideration too.  There are important things for us to decide on.  Sadly, some folks never even register to vote and of those who do register, many don't even bother to cast a ballot.  Don't be one of them.  Let your voice be heard!

 

It's sad when we have this incredible right and we ignore it.  To be able to shape our towns and states and our country is a great privilege that, as I said, folks in many parts of the world cannot do.  Will we see results this week?  Some, but possibly not all.  It takes time to count votes.  This year it is expected to take much more time.  Turn on your tv and watch election returns, but don't expect to go to bed tonight knowing who won each and every race.  Before you watch those results though, let me again remind you to 

VOTE!

Hero Headquarters

This space could easily be hero headquarters, because I certainly write here a lot about heroes. I've asked about your heroes and said what I think it takes. I have written about a number of folks that I think are heroes. I've even quoted the wise words of Jason Chu, who in his song Marvels said "We become heroes because of what makes us human." What more than is there to say?

Well our ideas of a hero are not all the same. A hero to you might not be one to me. Lately I have seen more and more heroes and that is something to celebrate. That wonderful human factor - that love of good and decency.  We all are capable of doing something heroic.  It doesn't mean we have to pull someone from a burning building or out of a car wreck.  We don't have to thwart an armed robbery or help an old lady who just had her purse snatched, to be a hero.  Each of us can be heroes in our own way.

The many activists who stand up for justice and equality belong in this category too.  The unconditional love - the "making a difference" kind of people:  heroes.  There seem to be more and more folks coming out and changing the world.  You can be a hero too!  You can make a difference.  Perhaps you already are.  I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.  Tell me about the heroes in your life!

F NOT Fitzgerald

The other day I read a wonderful quote that had been attributed to F Scott Fitzgerald. It was one of those encouraging things that often will end up on a poster, but as I was reading it, I also learned that the words were not his. Oh my! The article actually went on to say that there are many instances these days of quotes wrongly attributed on the internet.

Now Fitzgerald was an incredible writer. There is no denying that. He died at a very young age, but had he lived longer, there is no telling how many more wonderful stories he would have told. Among his works are This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night. In addition, Fitzgerald penned dozens of short stories.

The quote I was speaking of though is the very kind of thing I like to share here. It likely came from a screenwriter by the name of Eric Roth. There is much evidence that it was not Fitzgerald's. Still, it's a wonderful quote:

“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Butterfly

Butterflies are beautiful. There are so many different species and so many different colors. Did you know though that it can be a picture of your soul? Well, according to Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things, by Lafcadio Hearn, a butterfly was seen in Japan as the personification of a someone's soul; whether they be living, dying, or are already dead. They have been pictured as symbols of the recently departed on television and in movies.  It seems to me that makes them even more beautiful!

 

Every morning I go for a walk to begin the day. Most of the time it is dark out when I begin and sometimes it is still dark when I finish my walk. It's amazing how many beautiful things you can see even before the sun comes up. During that time of year when the sun is rising earlier, I listen to the chirping of the early birds, and I look for flowers and even butterflies. I'm not sure when they sleep, but I so the most amazing butterfly the other day. It would pause for a moment and just as I was about to take its picture, it would flutter away to another tree branch.

Yes, this isn't at all like most of my posts. Maybe it's just an observation as we experience a different kind of world with social distancing. It seems like connecting with nature is always a good thing though. There's is a certain freedom is seeing the natural beauty of our world. Butterflies seem so free. Even their eating habits are beautiful. They survive mostly on nectar. Wow! One of the lovely images of nature.

I mean to be one too

Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us. This one verse from Ecclesiasticus, used to be read every year on All Saints' Day, because it gives a good summary of what the day is all about. A passage from the Revelation to Saint John also helps explain the day. "These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." Of course a good preacher might be explaining the whole All Saints' Day concept to us, or we can look to a wonderful hymn that does an excellent job telling the story.

Written by a young Englishwoman, Lesbia Scott and first published back in 1929, "I sing a song of the saints of God" clearly sets out what All Saints' Day is all about. Today we honor all the saints, known and unknown. In the belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and those still living, we honor not only the named saints (such as those pictured in the icon here), but all the faithful. The word "all" is important to me here because I firmly believe that it is not just about the Blessed Virgin Mary, Blessed Paul the Apostle, Blessed Francis of Assisi, and the rest. It is about every single one of us because we all have the ability to do good things and to make a difference. 

Lesbia Scott's words seem to say the same thing. She lists a doctor, a queen, and a shepherdess in her first verse and then continues the list adding a soldier and a priest and one who was slain, in verse number two. It's really the third verse though that give me the greatest hope: 

"They lived not only in ages past,

There are hundreds of thousands still.

The world is bright with the joyous saints

Who love to do Jesus' will.

You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,

In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;

For the saints of God are just folk like me,

And I mean to be one too."

There's the kicker: "And I mean to be one too." Yes, today is a celebration of the various saints down through the ages, but that is only part of it. "They lived not only in ages past, There are hundreds of thousands still."  Celebration?  Certainly.  Today though is also an invitation.  "And I mean to be one too."

Boo

Every Halloween I think back to this lovely lady who used to live across the street from my grandmother. She decorated her porch, entryway, and much of her house. The trick-or-treaters weren't just greeted with some candy at the door, they were invited in! This was back in a kinder, gentler time when strangers did nice things for others. Each year more and more kids showed up as the word got around.

I can't remember this lady's name but everyone on October 31st called her the Halloween House Lady. Once inside you could help yourself to apple cider or cocoa, popcorn balls, homemade lollipops, and you could bob for apples. There was spooky music playing and she always had some kind of costume. It wasn't my neighborhood, so I didn't know most of the people coming and going. Nana walked across the street with my sister and I, but I think a few times we went over by ourselves. The big thing I remember was everyone left her house happy. We had fun.

In many parts of this country, it isn't safe to go door to door and it certainly wouldn't be safe to go into a stranger's house and eat unwrapped food and candy. Too bad. This lady made a difference. She brightened people's lives. MANY years later and I can still remember like it was yesterday!

Picture cooperation

I've told you this particular story about cooperation before, but I really like it, and since cooperation is such a great thing, I thought I'd share this story again.  (It isn't my story, by the way, but I don't know the author).

It's about a man who was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was exactly the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together – a picture of cooperation. Working together as a team, we can do so much more!

Think about it.  How wonderful this world would be if we all worked together!

Turn Around

Do you feel like you are just going nowhere in your job or in you education or in your social activities? There are other options, you know. The song that says It's too late to turn back now, is WRONG. You can always change!

Now, I'm not saying that you should make a change. You are the one who needs to make that decision.  First, step back from the picture and look at all sides. You might want to talk about things with a close family member or friend. You might also want to seek out a professional for advice. Just know that because you are heading in a certain direction, doesn't mean you have to keep going that way. Is it the right direction for you?

No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. Nothing says you cannot admit being wrong. If you are, be confident and know that there is no shame in turning around.

 

Remembering Matthew

The Matthew Shepard story has its beginning back on December 1, 1976, when he was born to Judy and Dennis Shepard in Casper, Wyoming. Matthew went to public schools in Casper until his junior year of high school when he moved with his family to Saudi Arabia. It was college that would bring him back to Wyoming and his studies at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. We didn't know Matthew through any of this.

Sadly, it was on the network newscasts that we first heard of a young man who had been tied to a split-rail fence, savagely beaten beyond recognition, and left to die out in the cold. It wasn't until the next day that he was found by a bicyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

As many times as I have heard this story, it is still hard for me to believe that anyone could have this much hate for another human being and do such horrific things as were done to Matthew. His rescuers took him to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, CO where he died from blunt force trauma, his massive severe head injuries, six days later.  In the wee hours of October 12, 1998, Matthew passed away in that hospital, with his parents by his side and an entire world now knowing of this notorious anti-gay hate crime. 

In the past 26 years, more and more people have learned of that dreadful night when Matthew was attacked. Matthew has been depicted in films, television programs, musical works, novels, and plays, and his murder has inspired hate crime legislation, and the formation of organizations designed to fight hate. Judy and Dennis Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his life and to "amplify the story of Matthew Shepard to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people." 

On this October 12th, as I look back at this young life taken, I can't help think of all the hate crimes over the years against LGBTQ+ people.  Hate needs to end.  Nothing good ever comes from hate.  If you would like to know more about the Matthew Shepard Foundation or perhaps make a donation, go to https://www.matthewshepard.org/

come out come out

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated on October 11, 1988 and has been celebrated on this day every year since. Coming out is a personal experience for members of the LGBTQ+ community and everyone has their own story to tell. Today you may be hearing a number of them.

Most of the “Coming Out” stories we hear seem to focus on white gay men who have an awkward conversation with their family members. Occasionally it's a woman we hear about, but still white. I'd love to hear more stories from our trans and bi sisters and brothers and more from people of color.

Support is important. For some people it might not be safe to come out, and we should be supportive of that and also supportive of those who choose to make their reality known.

So, on this National Coming Out Day, I will be listening to the stories (do feel free to share yours in the comments) and hoping for unity and support among and for the LGBTQ+ community.

how we paint it is up to us

For a number of years now I have profiled people and organizations who give back and really make a difference in our world and, when not doing that, have made suggestions about other ways we ALL can give back. Occasionally I get a bit ahead of myself and start doing multiple things at the same time. (Currently I am involved in several fundraisers for example and might not be giving fair attention to them all).

It is easy to spread yourself too thin. It is also easy for some folks to sit and do nothing. There is a halfway point though!  I don't think I am painting nearly as much as I want to.

What we do in life is of course up to us. We are given this broad canvas on which to paint, but the picture isn't known right away. Some of us might paint many pictures during our lifetime. We might get involved in many different things. Some of us will do less. Sadly, there will be some who do virtually nothing at all. The significant thing here is that how we paint, is up to us.

So, take that canvas, and make something really beautiful!

more and more new ideas

Every single morning I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

twenty-three years ago

At the National September 11 Memorial and Museum at Ground Zero in New York City, is this wall with a quote from ancient Roman poet Virgil:  "No day shall erase you from the memory of time."  Indeed. Today there will be memorials and there will be discussion, and folks will retell their memories of that horrible day when four coordinated terrorist attacks by al-Qaeda against the United States happened on the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

Today is the anniversary of one of our country's most horrible days.  Yes, there have been other sad moments, but this was a morning of pure evil.  This isn't my first time writing about it of course.  I have written here about that black day in our history, every single year since I began this blog. 

We know about the nearly 3,000 who lost their lives and the 6,000 others who were injured.  There were heroes too - not just the firefighters, police, doctors, paramedics, and other rescue workers, but also the average folks who just happened to be there and who jumped in to help.  It was a frightening day, a dark day for our country, but it was also a day Americans can be proud of because of all the unselfish acts of heroism.

The museum in New York remembers the day and tells the story of thousands of people there.  You can find more information about what to expect there at their website https://www.911memorial.org/

it's My Right

Way back when our country began, only white males who owned property were allowed to vote.  There are those who would like to see that policy return, but thankfully the right to vote is now enshrined in the US Constitution and several amendments.  ALL citizens who have reached the age of eighteen, have the right to vote.

 

Election Day is just a couple of months away and we are seeing more and more political advertising.  Who should we vote for?  Does it even matter?  Yes, it matters a lot, and the good citizens will look at the issues and then make choices.  Now is a good time to start thinking about it.  Don't wait until the last minute to make these important decisions.  

 

It's my right.  I can vote or I can stay home.  Why would you choose the latter?  We can decide who our senators and congresspeople will be.  We can decide who will be our governor.  Think about it.  We have the power.  Together we can do some incredible things.  So many parts of the world don't have such power.  Why would we want to throw it away?  This year's presidential race gets so much attention that we sometimes forget about the other matters, but they all are important.

 

I cannot stress this enough.  If you truly care about your community, your state, your nation, get out there and let your voice be heard.  VOTE!  There really is a LOT at stake.

Labor is Life

Thomas Carlyle was a Scottish philosopher, essayist, teacher, and historian during the Victorian era and the man who gave us the wonderful quote that appears on this stamp. Today is Labor Day in the United States and Canada. The holiday did not exist back in Carlyle's day, but a day set aside to honor the worker is something I think he would have approved of.

Too many people these days don't get the significance of this holiday. It isn't about that last summer picnic or the day before school begins and it isn't about sales at the mall and your favorite department stores. Today is about the worker and about the unions that have made our laborers strong. 

Labor is something that every single one of us does at some point. Labor really is life! We need to work to earn money and we need to work to keep our bodies active and strong. While those picnics and sales are fine, take a moment and pause to think about the real reason for this day and be thankful for our strong labor movement.

Quoting Carlyle: "Labour is Life: from the inmost heart of the Worker rises his god-given Force, the sacred celestial Life-essence breathed into him by Almighty God; from his inmost heart awakens him to all nobleness; to all knowledge, 'self-knowledge' and much else, so soon as Work fitly begins."

Suicide Prevention

Preventing suicide involves everyone in the community and it isn't just a one day or one month affair, but September is a monthlong awareness time in hopes of getting more people involved.  The number one obstacle to prevention is silence.  While this may sound like a slogan.  It is very true.

Here are a few things that everyone can do: Ask someone you are worried about if they’re thinking about suicide.  Keep them safe. Reduce access to lethal means for those at risk.  Be there with them. Listen to what they need.  Listening is so very important. Follow up to see how they’re doing.  This simple information comes from National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

If you're in a crisis, please dial 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 to instantly connect with a trained crisis counselor, 24/7, for free.

There is more.  The biggest thing is to break those old taboos.  Communication is very important.  Many health care providers are now asking the question "Have you ever thought about harming yourself"?  Despite years of not talking about the subject, people need to know it is okay to talk.  Silence is not helpful.

I am not a mental health expert and don't want you to think I have all the answers, but this is so very important.  Become more aware.  Care.  If you need help for yourself or someone else, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.  Please feel free to share this information widely.

Learning to be a hero

Does being a hero require a special license or certificate? Are there classes you can take to learn to be a hero? Can only some people be heroes?

When you come across a horrible car accident on the freeway and rush to the aid of the victims, you become a hero.  It wasn't something planned or studied for but rather it was a basic human response.  The same is true when you see injustice and you stand up and fight against it.  While you may have had more time to think about it and to plan your response, you are still there, not because of a special license you hold or because it is your job.  You fight injustice because it is what good people do for each other.  It is a basic response of our humanity.

We hear a lot about heroes these days - usually folks who are just going about their chosen jobs.  Anyone can be a hero and they come in all different kinds.  Most of the heroes in the world are those quiet unsung type.  They are making a difference without much fanfare and often without any acknowledgement at all, but by doing basic good things that will benefit future generations.  You likely have some people that you consider to be heroes.  Perhaps your parents or a favorite teacher or a boss from work.  Maybe a famous person is a hero to you because of something they have done.  Superheroes like Spiderman or Wonder Woman?  Not likely. 

Eleven years ago, a hero of mine died, my mom.  Can you learn to be a hero?  I suppose the answer is partially 'yes' because so much of who I am, I learned from her.  She was a great teacher of how to be good and how to love others.  She was a nurse, but that is just a small part of what made her a hero.  Not a day goes by that I don't act in ways that she influenced.  If I am a hero to anyone, it is because of what I learned from Mom.

Here in this blog I have introduced you to many heroes.  One of them is Jason Chu.  I even shared his video, Marvels.  The lyrics are so powerful, I still think of them from time to time.  The closing words are so very true:  "But I’ve learned: a hero isn’t about being super We become heroes because of what makes us human."

happy birthday to many

August just happens to be my birth month, but as you know, this is NOT about me, so I won't talk about my own birthday, but I do want to mention a few more.  This is indeed the month to say happy birthday to many!

Today is the birthday of former President Barack Obama, who turns 63.  Another US President, Bill Clinton, turns 78 on the 19th of this month. I have a couple of dear friends who share the same birthday as me and a number of celebrities share the same birthday too (including Mary McCartney, Shania Twain, Jason Priestley).  The list for the month is actually quite lengthy. 

 

People like to be remembered on their birthdays - not necessarily with expensive gifts.  A card, email, or phone call can certainly brighten someone's day as well.

summertime kindness

It's the middle of the summer. The days are hot. VERY hot in some places.  Many of us are frustrated by stories in the news, especially the shooting last night.  People are in a hurry to get to their vacation spots.  Along the way, some folks get a little short-tempered. In the midst of all of this, I have COVID-19 AGAIN!  What a great time though to practice some random acts of kindness!

Tell people in your life why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a store employee and then praise him or her through that company’s corporate office.  Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through.  Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.  As you go about your day, pick up trash.  Donate blood.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Call or visit a homebound person.  Pay a compliment at least once a day.

 

These are just a few ideas.  Use your imagination.  The list really can be endless!  Summer of course isn't endless, and in a month or so, as summer winds down, let's let our kindness continue winding up!

Long Walk to Freedom

It was on this date in 1918 that Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was born. We knew him as a lawyer, politician, activist, great leader, philanthropist, and a person who did indeed change the world. His autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, was published in 1984 and I can remember reading it around that time and thinking about how incredibly strong this man was to have done so much and to have endured so much. Mandela presided over the transition from apartheid minority rule to a multicultural democracy in South Africa and he showed the world how people from all backgrounds can work together.

If ever there was a poster person for what this blog is all about, it would be Nelson Mandela.  He was not only a great leader who made a huge difference in this world, but he did it with dignity and grace and a sense of humor. 

 

It was Mandela that said "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires." Many of us experience our own long walk to freedom.  How about you?

Seeing Mandela's life and remembering his words can inspire us and push us forward.  In his words: "For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
 

You'll never walk alone

We are getting closer and closer to this year's AIDS Walk San Francisco in Golden Gate Park. I have registered to participate for the 35th time and my fundraising is going along nicely. (Please click HERE if you would like to become one of my sponsors). Thanks so very much to everyone who has donated so far!

My personal finances won't allow me to actually be present this year, but I still want to raise awareness and raise funds.

One thing I will miss comes at the end of the opening ceremony each year.  There is a singing of a song that has become an anthem for AIDS Walk more or less, but as I think about the lyrics right now, I realize that it can easily be an anthem for each of our lives!

"You'll Never Walk Alone" is a show tune from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel, and it had a popularity back in the sixties when Gerry and the Pacemakers recorded it. We could all get something every day of our lives though out of these wonderful and encouraging words:

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky

And the sweet, silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness

It has been 248 since this document was written. How many Americans today know these words? If you were asked to recite the Declaration of Independence, could you? Most people are familiar with the first sentence of the second paragraph: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." What about the rest?

The first paragraph is something we had to memorize when I was in school: "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Today of course is Independence Day, the Fourth of July.  A document that refers to equality, and the act of standing up for ourselves back then, is something we should celebrate indeed. Where are we today though? We are missing a LOT of liberty here in this country.  There is so no true equality here.  How about life and the pursuit of happiness? With all the violence - the daily murders and assaults, it seems that so many are being denied their lives and basic happiness. With parades, fireworks and patriotic music over the weekend, along with picnics and boating, and baseball games, there is a lot of celebrating going on.  From where I sit though, we need to not only celebrate this wonderful country, but work to see that equality becomes the actually way we live, and that gun violence is something from the past. Think America is great? Think it can be greater?

I want to see the day when every person is treated with decency and with respect. We can make it happen. Let's stop the hate and heal the divisions.