Mother's Letter to Her Gay Son

I came across this Christmas letter and I wanted to share it with you here once again. Of course, it wasn't written for this Christmas, but that really doesn't matter. I think I first shared it here four or five years ago. I don't know who the author is and I don’t even know if this is true or if it is fiction, but I was quite touched by it, and I hope you are too!

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed "not being equal" in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences. You had a passion for justice even as a child.

I remember when you were 4 and refused to eat supper until I had actually written the check for Save the Children. You were the watchdog in your kindergarten classroom after you felt your teacher was wrong to rip up a child's painting in front of the class in her effort to teach them to write their names on their papers. On that day you spoke truth to power so eloquently as you confronted your teacher after school.

As soon as you came out to us, you wanted to start a gay/straight alliance at your high school. We worried for your safety, but even more for the isolation it might have brought as you worked to make it happen. You reached out to students, teachers, and the administration and created your school's first gay/straight alliance.

When you were in college and heard that there were students being kicked out of colleges simply because they were gay, you founded another organization to confront that terrible wrong. Each of those times you taught me to take action and not be silent in the face of injustice. You have led me, and you have taught me throughout your life. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you.

As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift, I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you,
           Mama

Merry Christmas??

Merry Christmas?

There will be those - there always are, who will utter this greeting with a question mark in their voices. What's to be merry about? A slowed down economy?   Bullying, homophobia, racism, and prejudice still rearing their ugly heads? Uncertain political actions? There certainly is a lot of bad news!  The absence of a loved one?

Old Scrooge in the wonderful Dickens classic was one of those who used to question the joy of Christmas. "Humbug!" That's how he summed it all up. Scrooge found out though, and just in time, that there is always reason to be happy - there is always something to be joyful about!

I am reminded of the words preached by Saint Leo the Great way back in the fifth century:

"Today our Savior is born; let us rejoice. Sadness should have no place on the birthday of life. The fear of death has been swallowed up; life brings us joy with the promise of eternal happiness."

May we carry that message with us with no question mark at all. Merry Christmas everyone!

O Holy Night

Finally!  The special night is here!  Tonight, people all over the world will be welcoming Christmas.  Tonight is also the start of Hanukah.  That doesn't happen very often.  Even people who have no faith tradition celebrate the various holidays that come at this time of year.

 

Whether you gather with family and friends in a church at midnight and sing O Holy Night (or perhaps Silent Night) or stay at home in front of a fireplace (or the yule log on television), or light the first candle of your menorah, I hope that yours will be an enjoyable celebration.

 

The holidays are different for all of us.  We all have different traditions.  Whoever you are and wherever you are, tonight should be a wonderful time.  Be happy.  Enjoy life!

Toys galore

When I think of gifts for children, the first thing that comes to mind is a teddy bear. Toys of all kinds warm the hearts of kids, especially the ones who have little or nothing. The biggest gift-giving occasion of the entire year of course is Christmas and that's now just a week away. Toy drives for needy kids truly make a difference! Consider giving. It really doesn't have to cost a lot.

 

There are stores that each year put out collection barrels for various toy drives.  The largest and best known of these is probably the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign.  Back in 1947 United States Marine Major Bill Hendricks got the ball rolling in Los Angeles, California, beginning with a handmade doll and continuing with a collection of some 5,000 toys for needy kids in his area.  That program continues to this day but now spreads nationwide.  

There are many regional and local programs too run by fire departments or police departments or other local organizations.  The hospital where I volunteer has a program.  There might be such a program in your town.  Last year a friend of mine in Las Vegas did an incredible drive himself, reaching out to all his friends.

 

This is certainly not an easy year but do what you can.  Check with your local schools, churches, police department, and local newspaper for toys drives that might exist in your area.  Perhaps you or an organization you are part of, would like to start your own collection process to help out too.  Remember, a toy in the hands of a child is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of a child who has nothing.

 

The Return

Way back in 2008, I began writing a daily blog.  It's NOT about me, but about making a difference in the world.  In 2017 I began writing an additional blog about kindness. Last month something happened.  I had already lost one computer a few months back.  Then my remaining laptop also broke down.  I had nothing to write on.

I could not afford to buy a new laptop.  I can hardly even pay my bills these days.  (I don't really want to go into more detail because this blog is NOT about me).  I did think about trying to continue using a library computer, but there are days when the library is not open, and it is also sometimes difficult to get there.  Then someone gave me a computer!  

Wow!  There are some marvelous people in the world.  Of course, I already knew that.  That is what I have been writing about.  After over a month without any entries in either of my blogs, I wasn't sure I should return, but there is still so much to say.  There are still many good things to write about.  Hopefully from time to time the words I write here make a difference.  And so, today is the return.  I'm planning on picking up right where I left off.