Cherish

"Now that the holidays are over" said the announcer on tv - WAIT!  STOP!  Holidays over?!  What is he talking about?  Christmas only began yesterday and runs through January 5th.  Today is also the very first day of Kwanzaa and New Year's isn't until next weekend.  I wonder what holidays this guy was talking about!

 

In our rushed lives, we seem to do more planning than celebrating.  It's not uncommon to see Christmas merchandise out at retail stores as early as September.  Folks even seem to decorate their houses earlier and earlier, but then it all seems to come down on December 25th, or earlier!  After hours preparing a nice beef brisket, you wouldn't eat just one slice and throw the rest away! Why do that with Christmas?  I know you wouldn't pop open a bottle of champagne and then have but one glass before throwing out the rest of the bottle!  My family always celebrated the twelve days of Christmas, and I continue the tradition.

 

The race to just get it over with doesn't have to be the way we do things.  Enjoy the holidays - ALL of them.  Enjoy every moment.  Include your coworkers and your friends and your family and even strangers on the street!  Oh and I will never be offended if you wish me a happy Hanukkah, even though I am not Jewish, or a happy or merry holiday of your choosing.  Cherish the time.  No need to rush!

On the first day of Christmas

Despite what many stores will tell you, Christmas doesn't end today.  No, today is actually the first day of Christmas.  In this twelve day celebration I do hope you will take a moment to think about the good things in our lives and the good you can bring to others.  We could even get going and finally extend the spirit of Christmas to every single day of our lives!

The twelve days extend into the new year of course, and how wonderful it will be to start 2023 with this celebration!  Think that the spirit of Christmas is gone? Have faith in humanity.  Believe that there is good and work to make sure that good continues, not just for the twelve days of Christmas, but throughout the year.

 

On this first day of Christmas I won't give you a partridge in a pear tree, but I will give you my hope that every single one of us will be inspired to make a difference in the world and I wish you much joy and peace!

how do you say thank you?

How many ways are there to say thank you?  I'm not talking about the many different languages, although putting together a nice graphic with those two words as they are said in other tongues can be a lot of fun and I'm sure would be pleasing to the person you are thanking.  What else though?  What can you do to convey that you are actually grateful for that something you have received?

 

We give thanks at different times for different things.  Sometimes a polite courtesy is almost taken for granted, but when somebody hold the door open for you or pulls out your chair or refills your water glass, say thank you.  When you receive a present or money, then most certainly thanks should be offered.  How about when you ask for someone to help you with a project?  Let me just say there is never a bad time to offer thanks. 

 

You are an awesome caring person and I'm sure you want folks to know you appreciate those things they do on your behalf.  Let it be known then! Let them see your happy dance!  Notes are always nice too.  I know many have fallen away from the habit of writing personal notes, but the most awesome people I know still write them and it means a lot.  I was just talking about this to a group of people, and every one of them agreed.

I know we can get back in the habit.  Say thanks in the way that works best for the particular occasion but say it!  I have so many reasons personally for saying it today.  That breakfast burrito I ate a little while ago and someone special made it happen.  Thanks!

9-8-8

Loneliness and other worries the holidays bring, widespread racism, health issues including COVID-19, and a number of other factors have brought a lot of people to the end. We have seen it in the news far too many times, often involving beloved performers.  The dark thoughts around ending one's life don't get enough attention until it is too late. We should talk about it though. Lives can be saved. The national hotline in the US is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 988. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who does, use this number.

Of course, a telephone number doesn't solve everything. I am not just talking about those in crisis. We ALL need to have a better understanding of suicide and we ALL need to value every human life. We need to care more. 

Years ago in Nashville, I volunteered at a suicide prevention hotline, and each day we saw results. Each day we helped people in crisis. A wonderful nurse I know where I live now, has been a leader here in suicide awareness.  I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you of many cases where intervention has saved lives and I urge you to learn a few basic things. The first thing is you are not alone!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the highest suicide rate is among adults between 45 and 64 years of age, and the second highest rate is persons 85 years or older. That may be surprising, because we so often hear about youth suicides, but elders take their own lives far more often.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. They are committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.  As they help save lives, let us help them by spreading the word.  The number to call is 988.

All lives are precious, and nobody should feel that things are hopeless or that they are all alone. If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. I urge everyone to become better informed too. We should all understand why people take their lives and how this can be avoided. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent place to begin. Check out their website at https://afsp.org/

Happy holidays?

It seems to me that an awful lot of folks are complaining about the greeting "Happy holidays!" But, why? I hear people say that this is taking the place of "Merry Christmas," but actually that isn't true. Wishes for specific holidays are nice, but the all-encompassing "happy holidays" seems so much more comprehensive.

We have already observed Saint Nicholas Day and Pearl Harbor Day. At sunset in 4 days the eight-day celebration of Hanukkah.comes up.  There is also Advent, Saturnalia, Festivus, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve. Oh, and that's just a partial list. Don't celebrate them all? No problem! Very few people actually observe every single holiday, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. When you say "happy holidays" to someone, you are hoping they enjoy the days that they do commemorate.

Midway through this month, I have been thinking a lot about various holiday traditions. It's amazing how varied things like Santa or a wreath or even a menorah can be from one family to another or from one part of the world to another. Varied, and wonderful too! Think of how much extra joy there can be with so many different traditions and so many different holidays. Enjoy!

archair activist

Someone called me an "armchair activist" the other day.  "All you do is sit in front of your computer."  Well, since this blog supposedly is NOT about me, I won't protest too much.  Believe me, there are many things that I do, but I don't want to list all of my shortcomings here. 

 

An armchair activist though has a nice ring to it.  It might not have been meant as a compliment, but to me, any activism is good.  It's all about getting involved and making a difference.  Some people might not be physically able to climb up and down stairs or walk a picket line or march in a procession up a crowded street.  For some people sitting in front of a computer is a big deal and they can certainly connect with as many people, perhaps more, in that way.

 

Making positive changes happens in a variety of ways.  We can write letters or send emails or even write a blog to get our point of view across.  Sometimes we might even be successful.  Sometimes we might even do it enough so that someone refers to us as an armchair activist!

Good old Saint Nick

Yes indeed. There certainly was a Saint Nicholas. It's not like the Santa Claus that most Americans know and associate with Christmas. Also called Nikolaos of Myra, the 4th-century Christian saint whom we celebrate tomorrow was a bishop of the church and also a giver of presents. Well in his case it was usually coins, but there are a lot of customs that grew in his memory.

Now most of us in the US think of Saint Nick and Christmas, but in many parts of the world, there is a separate celebration today.  Americans who keep the feast today most likely think of it only as a church commemoration.

Good reason for remembering him. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of children, students, archers, sailors, pawnbrokers, pharmacists, merchants, repentant thieves, and various churches, institutions, cities, and countries. Church-goers may find it interesting that he was one of the bishops who signed the Nicene Creed. I'm not certain why but he is also the patron of broadcasters.

There are numerous legends surrounding him including my favorite one about three theological students, traveling on their way to study in Athens. In the tale, a wicked innkeeper robbed and murdered the students, hiding their bodies in a large pickling tub. Bishop Nicholas it seems was traveling along the same route and stopped at the very same inn. While sleeping, he dreamt of the crime, got up, and called out to the innkeeper. As Nicholas prayed to God, the three students were restored to life and wholeness.

His name in Dutch, Sinterklaas, is where we got the name Santa Claus, but that is another story.

Still no cure

Today is World AIDS Day, designated on 1 December every year since 1988, an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection and mourning those who have died of the disease over the years. We may not hear about HIV/AIDS as much as we once did, but we should.  There is still a stigma and there is still no cure.

Next year I will participate in my 35th AIDS Walk. I never thought it would go on for so long! People are living longer now with HIV, but there are still medical complications and there are still deaths. The global epidemic of HIV/AIDS began way back in 1981, and according to the World Health Organization, (as of last year), has killed approximately 40.1 million people.

I cannot tell you how many funerals I attended, especially in the early days back in the 80s, and how many candlelight vigils I participated in.  We must continue to remember those who have died while at the same time we support those living with HIV and work toward an end to the stigma and work especially for a cure.  Get tested.  Stay informed.  Be involved.  Make a difference.

Click HERE for more information and ways you can get involved.  

The CDC advises that numbers for the past two years should be interpreted with caution due to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on access to HIV testing, care-related services, and case surveillance activities.

Not yet Christmas

You wouldn't know it from the tv advertising and the scenes in most retail stores, but it's not yet Christmas. It's not even December! In fact Advent, the pre-Christmas period of anticipation that many churches observe, doesn't even begin until tomorrow. Why the rush?

 

I hear people say it every year.  They aren't going to decorate early.  They aren't going to give in to the Black Friday madness.  Christmas is such a wonderful time, let us give it our all, but let's wait until it actually arrives.  Oh and the twelve days of Christmas?  Let's go back to celebrating that way, but the 12 begins on December 25th - that's not when it ends!

 

I love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  I love the parties and the joy.  I really do.  What I am not a fan of is the rush and the early start.  Some folks begin trotting out Christmas decorations or merchandise before summer is even over!

 

So, let us continue to enjoy our Thanksgiving weekend and then let us let the season build slowly.  Let's not let any stores or businesses rob us of this great celebration and let it continue on after the sun sets on December 25th too.  Oh and happy holidays?  I have no problem wishing folks happiness for the several celebrations that happen to come near each other each December, but there is also nothing wrong with a specific wish for a happy Chanukah or Christmas or Kwanza or New Year's, but not yet!

Let us give thanks

The world is not perfect.  For many, this has not been a very good year.  I have an idea though.  Let's look on the positive side.  Surely there was something good in our lives.  If we are honest, I think we can find a lot to be grateful for. 

 

It's pretty difficult to make our lives better if we always dwell on the negative.  Didn't have any negatives?  Oh my!  You are one of the very fortunate ones!  Of course that means that you have even more reason to give thanks.

 

How about the other folks?  We can't fix every problem in the world, but we can spread love and kindness, and a holiday like today is a great place to begin.

 

Yes, the turkey dinner, the parades on tv, the football, the gathering with family and friends - all very good things.  Don't forget what the name of this holiday is though.  Let us give thanks.

In reverse

Today is one of those odd days during the year that folks seem to love or hate and for a wide variety of reasons.  Some already did their Halloween over the weekend and some will spend tonight either celebrating, hiding, or a little of both.  I feel bad for all the people who become uncomfortable with this occasion, but if we all showed more kindness and respect toward each other, I think it could be more enjoyable.

Remember those Halloween pranks you did as a kid?  How about reversing it and doing some good deed instead?  Some folks might want to make an entire evening of doing nice things for others - a sort of reverse trick-or-treating.

Oh and then there is the candy and treats.  We could turn that around too.  Rather than collecting candy, we could distribute candy.  Buy several bags of those small candy bars and head to the nearby fire station, to the library, perhaps to some shops you frequent or to a senior center.  Don't expect people to give something to you but instead you give something to them. 

There are lots of possibilities in doing the day in reverse.  Of course some may want to go the traditional way too.  That's fine.  Do what makes you happy, but for me, bringing joy to others gives me so much happiness.  How ever you celebrate, be safe and respectful and enjoy the occasion!

Hero Headquarters

This space could easily be hero headquarters, because I certainly write here a lot about heroes. I've asked about your heroes and said what I think it takes. I have written about a number of folks that I think are heroes. I've even quoted the wise words of Jason Chu, who in his song Marvels said "We become heroes because of what makes us human." What more than is there to say?

Well our ideas of a hero are not all the same. A hero to you might not be one to me. Lately I have seen more and more heroes and that is something to celebrate. That wonderful human factor - that love of good and decency.  We all are capable of doing something heroic.  It doesn't mean we have to pull someone from a burning building or out of a car wreck.  We don't have to thwart an armed robbery or help an old lady who just had her purse snatched, to be a hero.  Each of us can be heroes in our own way.

The many activists who stand up for justice and equality belong in this category too.  The unconditional love - the "making a difference" kind of people:  heroes.  There seem to be more and more folks coming out and changing the world.  You can be a hero too!  You can make a difference.  Perhaps you already are.  I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.  Tell me about the heroes in your life!

A Facebook Post About Changing The World

If you spend any time on facebook, you can find just about anything.  Some folks post nothing but pictures of their pets or the food they eat.  Some post pictures of their daily adventures.  People ask a lot of questions too.  Some are funny ones.  Some make you think.  The other day a friend of mine posted a question which I just had to comment on here.

The question posted was "If you are given a chance to change the world, would you take it?"  A number of people liked the question without commenting.  There were a lot of comments though including some who said they were already doing it.  I responded that I always believe in changing the world.  (That's one reason why I write this blog).  Someone posted that they didn't believe they could ever be influential enough to change the entire world.  Oops!  Wrong answer, (as far as I'm concerned).  We ALL can change the world!  Every one of us!

Some people think that facebook is a waste of time, but I find some great information and some wonderful discussions there.  This one wasn't huge.  There were only about 25 responses, but I like that several people were seriously looking at changing the world.  I guess I might have an issue with the question's wording "If you are given a chance .   .   ."  It is my belief that we all have that chance every single day.

A lot of people post great quotes on facebook too.  Sometimes the quotes are in the form of posters that you could decorate your walls with.  One person posted a wonderful quote in response to this question: 

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Ghandi

End discrimination

When I was little I witnessed so much prejudice and hate. I can remember the "Whites Only" signs and the separate drinking fountains and I remember all the hateful things that were broadcast on television. Most of the obvious prejudice was racial. Later I became aware of the prejudice that existed based on sex, religion, age, gender identity, and prejudice based on sexual orientation.  

 

There are some people who think that such discrimination has ended. How wrong they are!  We have seen so many examples this year.  While there are indeed better protections under the law, and while many attitudes have gotten better, we still have a very long way to go.  This includes privilege and preferential treatment.  When a missing white woman is trending for days on social media and the lead story on tv news, but missing people of color are ignored, that is discrimination.

Will it EVER end? This is one of those things that we really can do something about. We have the power! We can make things better. Why do we tolerate so much hate speech? Why do we remain silent when people are discriminated against right in our midst? If we all spoke up and if we all decided to say No! to discrimination, it would end immediately. Do we really want a world of hate?

What do YOU think?

Reflections from Twenty One Years Ago

The words below I have printed here before, but in this troubled week, I think it will be good to see them again.  Twenty-one years ago, when the terrorist attacks stunned the nation, Frank Tracy Griswold was Primate and Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States.  Three days after the attacks, as the country was trying to understand and to heal, memorials were held.  Bishop Griswold recounted that day of mourning in an essay in which he mentions the "selfless volunteers and their eagerness to be useful."  That was certainly true in the aftermath of 9/11 and the world would be so much better off if it was always true. 

As I said, I think Bishop Frank's words are good to see again, so here below is that essay:

On Friday, September 14, the day of national mourning, I knew my place was here in New York with those who were courageously struggling with the aftermath of the hideous events of the previous Tuesday. A police van picked me up at the Church Center and transported me through checkpoints to the Seaman's Church Institute within the restricted area where police, firefighters, National Guard, rescue workers and Con Edison technicians were being cared for with food, fresh changes of clothing, and words of thanks and encouragement from tireless volunteers.

In the midst of the chaos I was asked to celebrate the Eucharist. It was Holy Cross Day, and how appropriate and right it was that our mourning and grief be rooted and grounded in the mystery of the cross. St. Paul speaks of sharing the sufferings of Christ. I thought that every act of violence, and all that it produces, is an instance of Christ's own suffering with and on behalf of those he came to reconcile to one another through the cross.

In the Gospel reading for the day, we hear Jesus proclaim: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself." The cross is Jesus' facing into all the subtle and obvious forces of evil the divide the human family, drawing us all to himself in order that we might be transformed and live in new patterns of relationship: patterns which are grounded in the awareness that - at the heart of all differences of language, race, culture and ways of believing and naming God - we are profoundly one in the mind and heart of our Creator. That this terrible act of terrorism has provoked blind and indiscriminate blame directed against our Moslem and Arab neighbors is to allow the evil we are suffering to catch us up in its ongoing destructive force, and make us its victim in yet another way.

After the Eucharist, Phoebe and I were taken through more checkpoints to "Ground Zero." This close to the impact, gray ash lay everywhere and coated the silent and abandoned buildings, among them St. Paul's Chapel where George Washington worshiped. Outside the church the American and Episcopal Church flags, stained and torn, fluttered at half-mast. An ancient tree had been uprooted and its branches rested on the gravestones. The building was intact, but the churchyard was thick with ash and debris and thousands of bits of paper. The iron gate was ajar. I pushed it open and climbed the littered and ash covered steps to the open door of the church. In an eerie way, everything seemed to be in order, except for the covering of dust. I found myself in tears. Here, at the heart of all the chaos and destruction was a place of solace and prayer.

The sacristy door stood open. I went in and found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote "I have been here and you have my prayers and my love. Frank Griswold, Presiding Bishop." I turned to leave and just then the priest arrived. "I'm here and the church is open," he said. What more could one ask for at a time like this than the ministry of presence.

As we left, I looked up at the crucifix above the altar and had the sense that the extended arms could receive and embrace all the madness and hatred and destruction and suffering that lay close by and in all the places in our fragile world where violence and death and innocent suffering are a daily reality. Somehow this terrible event has joined us in solidarity with the suffering of the world.

That evening I took part in a service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. At the end of the service, the congregation with lighted candles in hand followed us out onto the cathedral steps where people, instead of dispersing into the evening, drew close to one another, still holding on to their candles. Passersby joined them, some stopping to buy candles in nearby shops.

Spontaneous singing began…"We shall overcome…." I thought of the overwhelming generosity of spirit that had flowed through the day. I thought of the selfless volunteers and their eagerness to be useful; the many workers and their gratitude; the congregation bound together in mutual support. I was seeing evil overcome by good which is the only way in which our world can be healed. I was also seeing our church in action and prayer and hospitality mediate the real presence of Christ.

How grateful I am for our Episcopal household and for its clear witness at this time. The days ahead will be difficult and demanding for us all, and I pray that we will be able to live them with the courage and strength that are ours in the risen Christ.

    +Frank T. Griswold
    XXV Presiding Bishop and Primate
    The Episcopal Church, USA

Death of the Queen

After 70 years as queen, and after 96 years of life, Elizabeth II passed away yesterday afternoon with her son Charles and her daughter Anne beside her.  Charles became King at the moment of her death, but I want to say something about Elizabeth.

Elizabeth II became queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland way back before most of us were even born, following the death of her father, King George VI.  Her face and even her manner is so known to just about everyone.  As her son and daughter-in-law face new duties ahead, they and they rest of the family are so busy with official duties, that they hardly have time to grieve.  Losing a mother is tough.  I know.  To lose your mother though and then need to immediately replace her officially, has to be a difficult chore.

I have no idea about the funeral plans or the official transfer of power.  We will all certainly hear a lot about those things in the days ahead.  

I know many people are anti-monarchy.  There are many reasons, but right now that doesn't matter.  Queen Elizabeth always cared about the people of the Commonwealth.  For good or for bad, she cared.  From everything I have seen, Charles cares too.  It would seem to me that the kind thing right now would be to show decency and respect.  Let the family grieve.  Remember the good, and there is so much good.  There will be plenty of time later on to address any changes.

Elizabeth II

 

honoring labor

No school.  A last chance to picnic.  The end of summer.  The last opportunity to wear white.  Labor Day means many things to different people, but the first Monday in September is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers, and it is a day to celebrate our labor unions.  The working class are the ones who keep the nation moving and so a day of tribute is indeed in order. Hard work, whatever you do, has value.  This is the day we honor that.

 

Now many folks get the day off from work today.  Seems odd, huh?  How do you celebrate labor by not laboring?  This is a workingmen’s holiday, but not all of us need to work on the day to appreciate the significance.  For over 100 years we have remembered labor on this date - it all began back in New York City with the Central Labor Union, and hopefully we will continue to, because as I said, workers truly are our country's backbone.

Have fun today.  Enjoy whatever it is you may be doing.  Remember though the real meaning of today, and give your support to labor! 

Harvey said

The wonderful actor and writer Harvey Fierstein has brought thousands of hours of enjoyment to the world.  I can't tell you how many times I have watched Torch Song Trilogy for example.  Harvey also says some pretty inspiring things too.

Harvey said "Time will tell us what we did and didn't do."  Yup.

"Never be bullied into silence," he also said.  "Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

One more thing from Harvey:  "I do believe we're all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other."

Thanks for continuing to not only entertain us Harvey, but also to inspire us.

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

Let's all get involved. Let's no see any more lives ruined because of bullying.

But no one seems to want to save the children anymore

It is so easy to become discouraged and depressed these days.  There are so many horrible things happening in our world.  This is especially true when we see so many shootings.  It's time to say enough is enough, but I have said this before!  Is anyone listening?

People argue on social media for a day or two and then it seems to be business as usual again.  Overnight someone responded to a tweet of mine saying the solution is for everyone to be carrying guns.  He was serious too.

I'm not going to tell you how to fix the problem, because it is complex and cannot be corrected by a simple act.  We can't keep ignoring it though.  We need to do something.  If we don't care about each other, then let's at least think of the children. But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.  That line from Kendrew Lascelles poem "The Box" keeps popping into my head.  (His poem was about war, but the sentiment still fits).

 

I was looking the other day at the face of a little boy who was shot a few years ago at the Gilroy Garlic Festival.  This morning I'm thinking especially of those killed at that parade near Chicago.  How many kids were witness to this tragedy?  I think of the many kids who have been shot and killed, so many of them in their own schools.  There is public outcry for a few days and then everyone moves on.  Every human life is precious, but for those who suggest that some folks "deserve what they get," let me again point to the children.  How can an innocent child deserve to die?  Do you have an answer?  But no one seems to want to save the children anymore. 

 

Will YOU do something today?  Will you make a phone call or write a letter or talk to your friends and family or overwise convey your feelings that something must be done?  In many countries the people would be out in the streets marching for safety and peace.  What is happening in the United States where mass shootings have become so common?

 

But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.

Missing a piece of the puzzle

Somehow I never really got into the jigsaw puzzle thing. Mom loved them and I remember her having them laid out on a card table when I was little. It might take her a while because she stopped to do other things, but when she found those last pieces, it was an accomplishment - especially that last missing piece of the puzzle.

 

Sometimes our lives are like that. It doesn't mean we are unhappy necessarily, but we are looking for something that just is not there. When it comes: WOW! It seems somewhat like finding those missing puzzle pieces. (Now of course if you are putting together a jigsaw puzzle, you actually look for those pieces. In life we might not even realize that something is even missing).

 

So what do we do? Well, keeping our minds and our hearts open to new possibilities is always a good thing. Listening to others and realizing that "our" way might not be the "only" way is a start in the right direction. If we think there is a missing piece that we'd like to find, there is nothing wrong with asking for help too. Perhaps our puzzle pieces are a bit more fluid than those of the jigsaw puzzle. Perhaps in some cases, there is nothing really missing at all.

Living life to the fullest

I noticed in an obituary the other day that the deceased person they were writing about was said to have lived life to the fullest. What exactly does that mean though?

There are those who let life pass them by. They really don't enjoy the day-to-day wonders. Many years ago, when I worked in radio, I used to say "Smell the flowers along the way. They're only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow." In other words, enjoy life - live it to its fullest potential!

Ernest Hemingway asked, “Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?" What a great question! Just think about it for a moment.

Take advantage of all the good around you. Smell the flowers indeed but do so much more. Enjoy family and friends. Do good. Appreciate beauty in its many forms. Take risks. As Auntie Mame taught us, we should "Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

More than 11 in Philly

Do the names Merrill Bittner, Alla Bozarth-Campbell, Alison Cheek, Emily Hewitt, Carter Heyward, Suzanne Hiatt, Marie Moorefield, Jeannette Piccard, Betty Schiess, Katrina Swanson, and Nancy Wittig mean anything to you? If you are a priest in the Episcopal Church, you may recognize them as groundbreakers. Forty-eight years ago today, those eleven became the first women to be ordained as priests in the US Episcopal Church. Until then it was men only. 

A lot has been written about that day in Philadelphia.  What some folks miss is that the liturgy at the Church of the Advocate and the ordinations were not illegal.  Nothing in church law specifically forbid such ordinations.  It just wasn't done.  It meant that some people had to stand up and question the status quo and say "Hey!  Why not?"  The Philadelphia Eleven, as those women came to be known, made a difference.  It is my opinion though that there were more than eleven on that day who made a difference.

Look at the picture.  Those are men laying hands on the newly ordained.  That is a bishop who is presiding.  There were hundreds of men, women, and children filling the church that day.  Together they ALL made a difference.  They wanted to move forward and to be inclusive.  The 1976 General Convention of the Church meeting in Minneapolis on September 15–23, 1976 made the necessary changes in Canon Law to ensure that women would have equal access to the ordination process. The next January, Jacqueline A. Means became the first female deacon canonically ordained to the priesthood in the Episcopal Church.

 

Change comes when people realize that it is necessary.  Forty-eight years ago, 11 women became priests and thankfully they were not alone.  Today, we still need to make changes.  Women are still underrepresented.  There are still those who would ban them and those who also would ban gay and lesbian clergy.  We will always need more to stand up and be recognized for doing the right thing and for supporting justice and equality for all.

Make A Difference

"One man can make a difference and every man should try." What a powerful message - one that I truly believe.

These words are generally credited to John F Kennedy, but may have actually come after his death, from his widow Jacqueline Kennedy. (The words were written on a card for an exhibit which traveled around the country when the Kennedy Library in Boston was first opening and have been quoted in Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations edited by Suzy Platt). Regardless of which Kennedy said them though, they most certainly are still true!

My daily purpose here is to suggest various ways of making a difference, because after all, every single one of us can do that. How about some suggestions? I know that I have covered a lot of ground over the years, but I'll bet you have some good suggestions too!  Please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.  You might think you don't have that many ideas, but you just might surprise yourself.  Besides, everyone should try.

"One man can make a difference and every man should try."

Every single penny

Through the year, I personally try to raise money for various causes. I know this blog is NOT about me, but I wanted to share something I often hear.  "I'd give, but I can only spare a few bucks, and that isn't worth it."  Every single penny helps.  Remember, we don't act alone, but together with every other person who is giving.

Just recently I raised money for AIDS Walk San Francisco, and I can't tell you how many people said they wanted to give but just didn't have the fifty dollars it takes.  Some of this is the fault of organizations that suggest certain amounts when asking for donations.  What really should be stressed over and over is that ALL gifts are helpful.

My birthday is next month, and rather than accept presents, I am asking anyone who wants to give something, to donate to and organization that is dear to me, like the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Asian Americans Advancing Justice - Asian Law Caucus, Transgender Law Center, San Francisco Night Ministry, or your American Cancer Society.  Again, I try to stress to my friends that the smallest of gifts is appreciated just as much as the largest.

If you are out there collecting for a favorite charity, remind people of this.  The idea isn't to make people go broke or to make them feel guilty.  There are some who just might not be able to even spare a dime, but for those who can give, every single penny counts.

Looking the other way

Quoting the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr, is an easy task, because this great man said so many wonderful and inspiring things. This morning I was thinking about one particular quote, where he mentions looking the other way.  As always, he got me thinking about the importance of doing the right thing.

All too often these days it seems that folks aren't getting involved. Closing your eyes to the injustice around us, doesn't make it go away.   You can't change the world, unless you are willing to roll up your sleeves and do some good. The head in the sand mentality just doesn't work. Looking the other way, accomplishes nothing.

Dr King said "Never, never, be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way."

May we listen to this wisdom.  May we always be willing to do what is right.

Obituary: Common Sense

This is something that was floating around on the internet a while back. I have no idea who wrote these words, but they spoke to me, and I hope they have meaning for you. Even though this is an obituary, I happen to think it is not too late - we CAN save common sense - we just have to try!

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

"No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

"He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- and maybe it was my fault.

"Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

"His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

"Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

"Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

"It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

"Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

"Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

"Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

"Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

"He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is to Blame, I'm A Victim

"Not many attended his funeral because, so few realized he was gone.

"If you don't remember him, join the majority and do nothing."

Promote what you love

What is there in your life that you love?  Does your job bring you joy?  Are you happy in your home life?  Is there romance?  Do you belong to any organizations that give meaning to you?  Did you hear about some incredible thing in the news that really made you happy?

 

There is so much good in this world of ours and I happily write about bits and pieces of that good here in this space each morning.  What I don't understand is those who promote negativity.  How can that bring them any kind of satisfaction?  Bashing something you hate just brings more hate and we should never want more hate.

 

Okay, I get it.  Not everyone thinks the same way.  That's fine.  Absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Instead of negative hateful messages though, perhaps we can look at some things we agree on.  Certainly, there must be something!  Let's promote the things we love instead of bashing what we hate.

Just because

"Why are you doing this?" I heard him ask. "Just because," was her simple reply. "Just because."

You can say you are giving back because you want to change the world or because you want to make a difference. You can say you want to see a smile on the face of others or that you enjoy doing things for people. You can say that random acts of kindness help make things better for all of us and you are simply passing them on. Of course, you don't have to give any reason at all! Just pay it forward .   .   . just because.

Oh, those wonderful kind deeds we do for other people. They sure do brighten up the day!

How many of those just because things can you think of? How about taking an acquaintance to dinner, sponsoring someone in a fundraising walk-a-thon, donating time at a senior center, saying something nice to everyone you meet during your day, or donating blood? What other random acts of kindness can you think of? Add your suggestions in the comments section below.

Failing

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, once said "My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure." 

The best way to learn not to fail IS to fail. That might sound a little odd but take a moment and think about it. Seriously. Take a moment.

When you fail at something and you aren't content with that failure, you do something about it. You learn how to get back up. You learn that failure is something we all do from time to time, but we can overcome that - we can get back up and do better. As Frank Sinatra used to sing, "pick myself up, dust myself off. Start all over again

It's the final day of this year.  Knowing that you can get back up, helps with your fears of failure.  Our future won't be perfect, but if we put aside any fear of failure, it can certainly be better.

it's NOT about sashimi

You are correct if you think this blog is NOT about me. Oh and today, it's NOT about sashimi. (Did I get your attention though)? Actually, I just wanted to remind you that your comments are certainly welcome here every day. You might even give me some ideas of people or events to share with everyone. Oh, and I have two blogs (yeah, I suppose a bit of self-promotion would be about me but thought you might not know).

Seven days a week I write something here about making a difference in the world. I've been writing these now for fourteen years.  Six years ago I also began a daily blog about kindness that you can find HERE. Those entries are short and hopefully inspiring - often I quote others. Read them both. Comment on both. Share them with your friends.

What could be better than a nice plate of salmon sashimi? Why hearing from dear readers of course! Even though this blog is NOT about me, my own personal thoughts are bound to creep in.  Tell me if you agree!

Hooray for the red white and blue!

Today is July 4th, but just what does that mean? Although the holiday is officially called Independence Day, it is more frequently referred to by just its date and people seem to have forgotten about freedom and independence. On July 4, 1776, the Continental Congress declared that the thirteen American colonies regarded themselves as a brand-new nation, the United States of America, and no longer part of the British Empire. We declared our independence.

So, this is a patriotic day. This is a day to celebrate being American. Of course, the parades and the fireworks and the picnics and music, all help us to do this, but there are many other ways we can observe this day. How about resolving to make our nation better than ever? How about fighting for real equality? Today is supposed to be a celebration of independence and freedom, but it is hard to celebrate when fundamental human rights have been eliminated.

In the term just ended, the Supreme Court of the United States has gutted Miranda rights, ended regulations on open-carry of guns, overturned Roe vs. Wade, allowed prayer in schools by employees, and ended federal regulation of greenhouse gases. Several states have passed laws discriminating against transgender people. Numerous states have taken away a woman's right to make her own health choices. I see more and more freedoms being stripped away. Now, what are WE going to do?

Perhaps we can use this day to volunteer for a campaign of some kind. Working on a political campaign will often give a glimpse of the many things needed to keep our communities strong and vibrant.

Climate change is real. Are we doing anything about it? How clean is your community? Working with a beautification project - picking up litter or painting over graffiti is a good way to give back to our community, but there are many other ways. Use your imagination. Get creative.

When we wave our flag, what are we really saying? Do we believe in liberty and justice for everyone? The United States is indeed a great country, but it will become even greater when we ALL are really equal and respected. When that day is here, we can truly say Hooray for the red, white, and blue!

Van Gogh's legacy

The Dutch painter Vincent Van Gogh was many things (not just the inspiration for Don McLean's 1971 hit song), but we remember him most for his numerous self portraits and his lovely starscapes. Van Gogh was not famous during his lifetime, but his posthumous fame shows us a man who not only was an incredible artist, but also a man of great wisdom. Much of the information we have of him is from correspondence between him and his brother.

One thing I find particularly inspiring is this thought from him: "The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore."

He also said "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

This probably isn't what you were expecting from me on a hot July morning. I was thinking about kindness (I write another blog every day about being kind in the world) and self-doubt came to mind. Just like we should never hold back from being kind and caring people, we should also not let things hold us back, especially those voices of self-doubt from within. Just do it!

Help make those tomorrows better

So many people and so many events can be written about relating to our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers, but today ends Pride Month, and there are other things happening in our world too. Of course, if doesn't have to be June to talk about LGBTQ+ matters. Do feel free to add some names and stories in the comments section, because there really is a lot more to say.

Sadly, there is still a long way to go before everyone is treated with dignity and respect. There are those who are still trying to pass laws that take away basic human rights. We just saw the Supreme Court reverse Roe vs. Wade, and one Justice has even said landmark high court rulings that established gay rights and contraception rights should be reconsidered. How great if society treated all people equally and with true justice and respect. Sadly, that isn't the case.

I'm thrilled that there were celebrations, and I look for many more, but we also have to face the reality that people are still being bullied, beaten and even killed just for being their true selves. On this last day of Pride Month, do something special for yourself and also for an LGBTQ+ stranger. Help make those tomorrows better.

The other Harvey

It's hard to think of celebrations, following yesterday's Supreme Court decision, but we must move forward.  There still is much to celebrate and Harvey is one of those great reasons for celebrations!  You may assume I'm talking about Harvey Milk, we talked about him a week ago.  This time it's Harvey Fierstein.  You might remember him from a classic episode of Cheers, or from his roles in Mrs. Doubtfire, Independence Day, Garbo Talks, or The Year Without a Santa Claus, but for me he will always be Arnold Beckoff from Torch Song Trilogy and Edna Turnblad in Hairspray.

Fierstein is much more than a fine actor though.  He is also a wonderful voice actor, occasional columnist, and a playwright, and was one of the first openly gay celebrities in the country and put a face on the lgbtq community. 

His Torch Song Trilogy gives a portrait of gay life, for those who don't really have a clue.  He brought the performance to both the stage and to film and wasn't afraid to show two men in a loving committed relationship.  (Even though this blog is NOT about me, I should mention that the movie version of Torch Song is one of my all time favorites)!

By being visible, even if it might have held back his career, Harvey Fierstein has made a difference.  He continues to bring us joy and pride too with every single performance.