Big step forward

Probably most people would say that they want to go forward and increase their income, their knowledge, their circle of friends, and so on. Heading forward is looked at as something positive. Standing still can become boring, no matter how comfortable it might be, and going backward is like giving up. How fast should we move though and should we work with others along the way, or do it all by ourselves?

I'm sure you can already guess what I am going to say. Together is always better.  There is strength in numbers and teamwork gets things done quicker.  Also, imagine how much help you can offer to those with less experience, and think of the help too, that can be offered to you.

 

So fast, or slow?  Baby steps or big ones?  Well sometimes you just have to take a risk.  A big step forward can have wonderful results, but it might be a little scary too.  Think about how much you believe in what you are doing and what is at stake.  Don't be afraid to ask friends and loved ones for their take on it too.  Asking for advice does not make you weak - it makes you smart. 

 

As 2024 winds down and we head to a brand-new year, let's all head forward, at a pace that is comfortable for us, and let's plan on winning.  Along the way, let's reach out to others and help them in their steps forward as well.  All the best to you in 2025!

joy to you and me

What brings you joy? Think about it for a moment. There are probably numerous answers to the question. Close your eyes and picture all those special times. For many, the joy comes in the giving too. So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you? What can you do to share the joy?

I realize I am always asking this same question in one form or another. I suppose it really isn't all that important that you write down an answer. (There isn't a wrong answer after all). How lovely though it would be if we could all be spreading that warm feeling of bliss.

I know that we have political issues these days, fears of our economy, our health in the midst of flu season, the ugliness of racism, and so many other worries. That does not mean that joy goes out the window. Maybe we just need to work on it a bit more!  It's the 6th day of Christmas and the 6th day of Hanukah.  There is reason for joy!

For me joy is splendid to be sure, but I'm one of those who is most happy when I am surrounded by happiness. When I see your delight, it in turn delights me. It's a kind of circle. There seems to be an extra amount of joy during the holidays.  Assuming that others feel the same way, we should all be spreading the joy because we therefore are all receiving it as well!

show the world your joy

Do you ever notice how small children always seem to be happy? Why can't the same be true for adults? Yes, every single moment of our life is not necessarily magic, but I think we could have a lot more joy if only we tried a little more!  Even with a pandemic all around us, increased hate crimes, and a slowed down economy, there is still something to be happy about.

Babies and small children are really good at showing off their happiness too. It seems there is something else we could copy from them!  Did you ever see a toddler giggle?  Oh my!

Someone once said that life is not about making others happy. Life is about sharing your happiness with others! Even those little tiny happy moments are worth sharing! Have I had happy moments in the past year?  You betcha!  Show the world your joy, especially when there seems to be so much darkness. You just might be surprised at the results!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

Mother's Letter to Her Gay Son

I came across this Christmas letter and I wanted to share it with you here once again. Of course, it wasn't written for this Christmas, but that really doesn't matter. I think I first shared it here four or five years ago. I don't know who the author is and I don’t even know if this is true or if it is fiction, but I was quite touched by it, and I hope you are too!

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed "not being equal" in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences. You had a passion for justice even as a child.

I remember when you were 4 and refused to eat supper until I had actually written the check for Save the Children. You were the watchdog in your kindergarten classroom after you felt your teacher was wrong to rip up a child's painting in front of the class in her effort to teach them to write their names on their papers. On that day you spoke truth to power so eloquently as you confronted your teacher after school.

As soon as you came out to us, you wanted to start a gay/straight alliance at your high school. We worried for your safety, but even more for the isolation it might have brought as you worked to make it happen. You reached out to students, teachers, and the administration and created your school's first gay/straight alliance.

When you were in college and heard that there were students being kicked out of colleges simply because they were gay, you founded another organization to confront that terrible wrong. Each of those times you taught me to take action and not be silent in the face of injustice. You have led me, and you have taught me throughout your life. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you.

As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift, I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you,
           Mama

Merry Christmas??

Merry Christmas?

There will be those - there always are, who will utter this greeting with a question mark in their voices. What's to be merry about? A slowed down economy?   Bullying, homophobia, racism, and prejudice still rearing their ugly heads? Uncertain political actions? There certainly is a lot of bad news!  The absence of a loved one?

Old Scrooge in the wonderful Dickens classic was one of those who used to question the joy of Christmas. "Humbug!" That's how he summed it all up. Scrooge found out though, and just in time, that there is always reason to be happy - there is always something to be joyful about!

I am reminded of the words preached by Saint Leo the Great way back in the fifth century:

"Today our Savior is born; let us rejoice. Sadness should have no place on the birthday of life. The fear of death has been swallowed up; life brings us joy with the promise of eternal happiness."

May we carry that message with us with no question mark at all. Merry Christmas everyone!

O Holy Night

Finally!  The special night is here!  Tonight, people all over the world will be welcoming Christmas.  Tonight is also the start of Hanukah.  That doesn't happen very often.  Even people who have no faith tradition celebrate the various holidays that come at this time of year.

 

Whether you gather with family and friends in a church at midnight and sing O Holy Night (or perhaps Silent Night) or stay at home in front of a fireplace (or the yule log on television), or light the first candle of your menorah, I hope that yours will be an enjoyable celebration.

 

The holidays are different for all of us.  We all have different traditions.  Whoever you are and wherever you are, tonight should be a wonderful time.  Be happy.  Enjoy life!

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you. 

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, then proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call your local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothes?  How do churches pay their bills?  What keeps the doors open at neighborhood free clinics?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important, and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

All kinds of holiday giving

During December there are more and more demands on us.  Oh my!  Look at the stores these days!  One of the big demands is for the best gifts.  We spend huge amounts of money for presents we can't afford.

 

I've written about this before, and of course my way is not the only way, but I think the whole gift thing has gotten way out of hand.  This blog of course is NOT about me, but it's about the heroes in our world who make a difference.  I see more of them this time of year and they aren't the folks going broke because they are overspending.  They are the people giving in their own special ways, sometimes without even spending any money.

 

I volunteer at a hospital that each year gives gifts to employees and their families who are just scraping by and can't afford any kind of presents.  Other hospital employees and volunteers donate to a fund and that money, along with funds from the hospital, brighten the lives of a number of people.  Some chip in a buck or two and others contribute a hundred dollars or more.  It all adds up.  Nobody goes broke, but many share in the joy.

 

This is just one example.  There are hundreds - all across the country.  People give out Hanukkah and Christmas gifts, end of year presents, and lots and lots of food items for festive meals.  There really are all kinds of holiday giving.  Are you aware of some special kinds of giving in your community?  Share it in the comments section so that we can all be inspired by the generosity of others.  I'll share some other stories here too.

I owe it all to Mom

Today would have been my mother's 98th birthday.  Even though it fell five days before Christmas, we tried to make a big deal of it and celebrate it as a separate occasion.  Mom always enjoyed making a big deal out of other people's birthdays, instead of folks doing things for her.

I remember back when I was a teenager, I decided to make her a birthday cake.  Using a mix and following the instructions, I thought making green cake and red frosting (traditional Christmas colors) would be appropriate.  The little food coloring I put in first didn't seem to make much difference, so I added more, and then some more.  I had no idea that this extra liquid would cause problems with the baking.  The cake never looked done, so I tried to fix things by using a lot of icing.  Oh, and I didn't wait for the cake to cool - nobody told me.  It was awful!  REALLY bad.  Mom didn't think so though.  She talked about that cake for years and years.

She and Nana taught me about kindness - not actual lessons, but just by the way they lived.  They both became heroes of mine.  I've probably mentioned Mom here more than any other person, and that is certainly appropriate.  Although this blog is NOT about me, it is about making a difference, and Mom certainly did that.  Any good things that I might do I can easily claim that I owe it all to Mom.

She passed away in 2013, but I still miss her.  I know I always will. So many times, I have wanted to call her up and share some little thing.  Do me a favor folks, if your mom is still alive, call her up today, even if just to say hello.  If your mom has already passed on, call someone else and let them know what you mean to them.  Let's keeping spreading the love!

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

On this Saturday, let us all say 'Enough!"  Let us all get involved.  Let's not see any more lives ruined because of bullying. 

Toys galore

When I think of gifts for children, the first thing that comes to mind is a teddy bear. Toys of all kinds warm the hearts of kids, especially the ones who have little or nothing. The biggest gift-giving occasion of the entire year of course is Christmas and that's now just a week away. Toy drives for needy kids truly make a difference! Consider giving. It really doesn't have to cost a lot.

 

There are stores that each year put out collection barrels for various toy drives.  The largest and best known of these is probably the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign.  Back in 1947 United States Marine Major Bill Hendricks got the ball rolling in Los Angeles, California, beginning with a handmade doll and continuing with a collection of some 5,000 toys for needy kids in his area.  That program continues to this day but now spreads nationwide.  

There are many regional and local programs too run by fire departments or police departments or other local organizations.  The hospital where I volunteer has a program.  There might be such a program in your town.  Last year a friend of mine in Las Vegas did an incredible drive himself, reaching out to all his friends.

 

This is certainly not an easy year but do what you can.  Check with your local schools, churches, police department, and local newspaper for toys drives that might exist in your area.  Perhaps you or an organization you are part of, would like to start your own collection process to help out too.  Remember, a toy in the hands of a child is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of a child who has nothing.

 

Dr King always said it so well

The past month has been very frustrating.  I know that hate exists, but we are seeing it in huge amounts right now, and it's making me sick.  I don't think I will ever understand hate.

 

The words of the Rev Martin Luther King, Jr have always inspired me and brought be a sense of peace.  Whatever the subject, Dr King always said it so well.  In the past few days there have been a lot of quotes from him floating around.  This one in particular moved me:

 

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

Not yet Christmas

You wouldn't know it from the tv advertising and the scenes in most retail stores, but it's not yet Christmas. Some people have been celebrating since September!  Really. Why the rush?

 

I hear people say it every year.  They aren't going to decorate early. Christmas is such a wonderful time, let us give it our all, but let's wait until it actually arrives.  Oh, and the twelve days of Christmas?  Let's go back to celebrating that way, but the 12 begins on December 25th - that's not when it ends!

 

I love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  I love the parties and the joy.  I really do.  What I am not a fan of is the rush and the early start.  Some folks begin trotting out Christmas decorations or merchandise before summer is even over!

 

So, let us continue with our preparations and let the season build slowly.  Let's not let any stores or businesses rob us of this great celebration and let it continue on after the sun sets on December 25th too.  Oh, and happy holidays?  I have no problem wishing folks happiness for the several celebrations that happen to come near each other each December, but there is also nothing wrong with a specific wish for a happy Chanukah or Christmas or Kwanza or New Year's, but not yet!

Is it EVER about me?

The blog says It's NOT about me. So, you might be thinking, "Is it ever about me?" Well yes, and no. I suppose I should explain.

If you are new to reading these daily messages, you might not know just what the name means. Most blogs are about the writer's adventures through life - his vacations, his politics, his cooking skills, his day-to-day opinions about current events. This blog, as the name says, is NOT about me. It would be misleading to say though that it is only about you. Actually, it is about ALL of us! To be more specific, it's about how we each can help make this a better world.

So that question: "Is it ever about me?" - yes. It's never about only you. It's about you and me and everyone else - ALL of us. Together, we shape the future, and together, we can change the world.

Thanks for reading. Tell your friends we are here. Comment below too and share some of your ideas. Let's keep working to make the world better for everyone!

The Return

Way back in 2008, I began writing a daily blog.  It's NOT about me, but about making a difference in the world.  In 2017 I began writing an additional blog about kindness. Last month something happened.  I had already lost one computer a few months back.  Then my remaining laptop also broke down.  I had nothing to write on.

I could not afford to buy a new laptop.  I can hardly even pay my bills these days.  (I don't really want to go into more detail because this blog is NOT about me).  I did think about trying to continue using a library computer, but there are days when the library is not open, and it is also sometimes difficult to get there.  Then someone gave me a computer!  

Wow!  There are some marvelous people in the world.  Of course, I already knew that.  That is what I have been writing about.  After over a month without any entries in either of my blogs, I wasn't sure I should return, but there is still so much to say.  There are still many good things to write about.  Hopefully from time to time the words I write here make a difference.  And so, today is the return.  I'm planning on picking up right where I left off.