Using the restroom in peace

Usually in the space I try to write positive things about how we can all work together and make this a better world, and today, there will certainly be an element of that here, but I'm going to begin with a rant, because quite frankly, I am angry. Every human being should be able to use the restroom in peace, but our transgender sisters and brothers are being told they can't use the restrooms at all!

This is not something new. Some people have had a problem with the gender identity of others for a long time. Even in progressive cities like San Francisco, I have heard transwomen mention the difficulty they have when they are out and about, and suddenly nature calls. If you have never witnessed this for yourself, or if you are one of the ones trying to force discrimination, picture for a moment being on a public street. You just came from a coffee shop where you drank way too much coffee. The walk back to your workplace is rather long, and you want to take a brief detour to a public lavatory. WAIT! Some folks think you look to "manly" to use the ladies room, so that's out, and because you are wearing a dress, you need to cross the men's room off as well. What do you do? Let me just say that nobody should ever have this difficulty! Nobody!

Many restrooms are designed for single-occupancy with locking doors, so why should anyone be concerned about who is going inside? Larger restrooms almost always have stalls which afford a large amount of privacy, so again what difference does it make who is using them? There are some folks arguing that they don't want to allow grown men into women’s restrooms. I have no problem with that. Here's the thing that some keep missing though: transwomen are NOT men, they are women. Transmen are men. That should be obvious, but apparently that isn't the case.

Now this new law in North Carolina, does more than just restrict the use of public restroom by the transgender community, but I will limit myself to ranting about just one thing here. Yes, I am opposed to sexual misconduct and yes I don't want someone touching me or doing anything inappropriate to me in a public restroom, but that is a separate issue folks. The average person does not go into a public facility to be a pervert. They go to pee. Everyone should have the same opportunity to do so.

I have always opposed any discrimination based on gender identity and I find this latest law to be outrageous. I urge everyone to speak up and tell North Carolina to put an end to hate.

relaxing the line

What can you do to brighten someone's day? How can you reduce the tension in your life and the lives of others? How about those long lines at the theatre or in the supermarket - is there a secret to relaxing the line? I have a few thoughts on this, but I want to share the thoughts of Father Paul Allick, the rector of Advent of Christ the King, an Episcopal Church in San Francisco. I was there on Easter Day and heard him preach. His marvelous sermon touched on several things, but because of what we write here in this blog, I took particular notice of one thing.

Shopping in large supermarkets can be a huge chore for many of us, because it seems that whenever we choose to go, everyone else is there at the same time. Who really enjoys lines? Come on, tell the truth. Father Paul had something to say about this though. When he is shopping, he said he can feel the tension. He told the congregation his response: "People are getting impatient. The clerk is feeling rushed. In the line I greet people; I make little jokes. I smile. I let people with less stuff than me go ahead in line. When I get to the clerk I greet them and say something nice. When they apologize for the wait I tell them that I am not in a hurry. The line relaxes. The clerk smiles and giggles. My hope, my mission is that everyone there has experienced a sense of reconciliation: a sense that it isn’t that bad and that today is going to be a good one."

What a wonderful way to go about life! WE can take control. WE can decide whether or not to be stressed. Slow down. Take a deep breath, and smile. Don't let the long line get to you. You can actually lighten the load for the clerk and for many in line. Yes, there will still be some filled with tension, but don't let that stop you from trying!

My sincere thanks to Father Paul for giving us yet another way to make a difference in this world. By the way, his entire sermon is worth exploring, so just click HERE to read the whole thing.  As for me, I've been away from home, so I'm going out for some groceries.  I wonder if there'll be a line. 

Easter Joy

These beautiful flowers, are in a church garden where I have spent a lot of time this past week. My personal tradition is to observe Holy Week (this past week, leading up to Saturday) and Easter, by participating in various observances at my church. Yesterday was a very busy day for me, as the past several days have been, but it was also a day of joy.

I'm not sure if you have noticed, but more and more people are celebrating Easter in some way of other. Yesterday was probably one of the biggest brunch days of the year. Families got together to do things. Oh yes, and there is all that candy! Is there an increase in church attendance? Actually, yes. It's traditionally this largest church attendance day of the year. Whether or not you are a Christian though, and whether or not you go to church, yesterday might have been a joyful day for you. As I have said many times, it really is up to you. Smile. Smell the flowers. Do something special for yourself, and for others. Let the joy be there for you all week long!

Do you have any unusual Easter observances? How about some special ways of spreading joy? Use the comments section below to share some ideas with us. Have a joyful week!

flying in to SFO

I am at San Francisco International Airport and heading into the BART station to make my way into town, and it being a bit late, I won't write much today, but never fear - there will still be posts during my short trip! (Of course this blog is NOT about me, so don't be looking for details of my San Francisco visit).

How many fun things can you do today? I'm sure I will be doing a lot, and certainly in the days ahead! Being at the airport reminds me of how much I used to enjoy watching planes land and take off. What kinds of things do you enjoy? How about making other people happy? Does that bring you joy?

Eating good food is always at the top of my list, and I have already decided on a lunch spot that, because I no longer live here, I am seldom able to enjoy. This is going to be a great day! Make it a good one for everybody you come in contact with!

defeating evil

By now most of you have heard the sad news of another terrorist attack early this morning in Belgium. I have spent the last few hours reflecting on this latest senseless act of evil, and at first I had a sort of helplessness. With so much violence and hate in the world, sometimes it feels hopeless, like evil will always prevail. Yesterday I wrote about in in the movies we watch, and today here it is in real life once again.

Sitting here at my desk, a lot have been running through my mind already today.  (I think I'm on my fourth cup of coffee)!  I'm thinking of the attacks this morning, but also the numerous instances of violence we see each day.  Why is there so much evil? Will the bad guys win? No! In my heart I know that the answer is certainly no. It may seem hopeless at times, but I believe that every single one of us is capable of incredible goodness, even those folks who do bad. It's a choice we make. We decide how our world will be and we decide if there is going to be evil or not.

It may seem simple, but all of us have to stand up and choose love everyday. We can't say good is sometimes the way to go. We must choice the side of good ALWAYS. We must always walk the path of loving ourselves and others and only then can we defeat evil.

Spring has sprung

For folks in the Northern Hemisphere, yesterday was the first day of spring. I remember as a kid growing up in Cooperstown, New York when the crocuses would be pushing through the snow, you could tell that spring was here. (I actually like the hyacinths even better, which is appropriate since they are so often associated with spring and rebirth). If you are not a fan of snow and cold, this day usually signals that the weather is improving and things will be nicer.

My mom used to say "Spring is sprung, The grass is riz, I wonder where the flowers is. The boid is on the wing - Absoid! Of course the wing is on the boid.” Oh and I have no idea who wrote that, and yes there are various versions of it floating around, but as spring begins, I always think of Mom and those silly words.

Yesterday also happened to be the day that Christians celebrated Palm Sunday, and it was on Palm Sunday four years ago that my favorite aunt died. The following year her sister, my mom, lay in a hospital near death on Palm Sunday. I remember the priest bringing by a palm and my sister and I putting it on the wall over Mom's bed. She held on through the night, but died the next day. Some of my memories at this time of year are not happy ones. I know that his blog isn't about me, but I fear that all of us have times when there are sad memories. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be happy.

If you celebrate Easter, that's just a week away. How can anyone not be happy with the joy that Easter represents? I said that hyacinths represent rebirth, and that certainly is good too. No matter how bad something is or how sad a moment we experience, there is always reason to go forward and see all the good that is springing to life around us. We can make goodness shine by our words and our actions. We can propel the rebirth of our joys into our futures. Let's make it so!

naptime

Did you have trouble getting out of bed this morning? Do you think back fondly to those kindergarten days with naptime? Do you find that after lunch you just don't seem to have the energy you would like? Perhaps you should rest a bit. Seriously. Naps are not only for kids!

Napping has been found to be both psychologically and physiologically beneficial, and I mention it this morning because today just happens to be National Napping Day. Forget the afternoon cup of coffee, and instead rest for awhile. A nap usually isn't a long sleep. It most often is just twenty or thirty minutes, but it can be oh so refreshing and it can make you feel like a brand new person!

In some parts of the world, the largest meal of the day is eaten at midday and is followed by a rest period. Here in the US, that doesn't happen as much, but I think it should. Talk about changing the world! Rested people are happy people, so don't be afraid of those naps!