hope

Hope is something that we ALL need. To me, that is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.  In An Essay on Man, Alexander Pope wrote "Hope springs eternal in the human breast." Indeed.

In our LGBTQ+ community, there is often a lack of hope.  That was what Harvey Milk was talking about in his famous "hope" speech from 1978. Here is a portion of that speech:

"The first gay people we elect must be strong. They must not be content to sit in the back of the bus. They must not be content to accept pablum. They must be above wheeling and dealing. They must be -for the good of all of us - independent, unbought. The anger and the frustrations that some of us feel is because we are misunderstood, and friends can't feel the anger and frustration. They can sense it in us, but they can't feel it. Because a friend has never gone through what is known as coming out. I will never forget what it was like coming out and having nobody to look up toward. I remember the lack of hope - and our friends can't fulfill it.

"I can't forget the looks on faces of people who've lost hope. Be they gay, be they seniors, be they blacks looking for an almost-impossible job, be they Latins trying to explain their problems and aspirations in a tongue that's foreign to them. I personally will never forget that people are more important than buildings. I use the word 'I' because I'm proud. I stand here tonight in front of my gay sisters, brothers and friends because I'm proud of you. I think it's time that we have many legislators who are gay and proud of that fact and do not have to remain in the closet. I think that a gay person, up-front, will not walk away from a responsibility and be afraid of being tossed out of office. After Dade County, I walked among the angry and the frustrated night after night and I looked at their faces. And in San Francisco, three days before Gay Pride Day, a person was killed just because he was gay. And that night, I walked among the sad and the frustrated at City Hall in San Francisco and later that night as they lit candles on Castro Street and stood in silence, reaching out for some symbolic thing that would give them hope. These were strong people, whose faces I knew from the shop, the streets, meetings and people who I never saw before but I knew. They were strong, but even they needed hope.

"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant on television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.

"So if there is a message I have to give, it is that I've found one overriding thing about my personal election, it's the fact that if a gay person can be elected, it's a green light. And you and you and you, you have to give people hope."

Let us remember and give thanks to all who are no longer with us but were part of this movement. Without them, it wouldn't have been the same. They left footprints that will always be remembered.  If some of the events during this LGBTQ+ Pride Month have given you hope, that's a good thing.  Many people have run out of hope.  Harvey Milk was right of course.  You have to give people hope.  It is my dream that someday that will be a reality, and I truly believe that we CAN make it happen.    John Lennon believed the same thing - “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”  

Ellen

I would probably love Ellen Lee DeGeneres even if she wasn't an LGBTQ+ activist. I loved her sitcoms and her talk show and her movies, and I love her stand-up comedy performances. I also love her caring and her humanitarianism.

Lately I have been thinking about how much I miss Ellen.  I used to watch her daytime show regularly, either as it aired or a replay later in the day.  Her visibility as a gay woman was such a great thing for the LGBTQ+ community.  There was really something special though about all of those people she helped.

I'll never forget the time she featured two guys on her show who attended the prom together. They were best friends, but only one of the two was gay.

Ellen really has that whole "random acts of kindness" thing down pat. That's the part of her show I really enjoyed the most. She changed a lot of lives for the better and her closing line each day was such a great reminder - "Be kind to one another!"

Thanks, Ellen, for a lot of great entertainment and for being such a great role model.  Thanks for making a difference.  I hope we will be seeing more of you real soon.

Remembering Wilson

The name Wilson F. Fang might not be a familiar one to you, but it will always mean a lot to me. Reader's Digest magazine used to have a regular feature where folks wrote about the most unforgettable character in their lives.   I've said this before, and it continues to be true - that person for me is Wilson.  It's been almost nine years since he died, and I still think about him all the time.

I have fond memories of Wilson during LGBTQ+ Pride Months in the past and especially good memories on this date.  Today would have been his 51st birthday.  

Wilson was active in San Francisco's Castro LGBTQ+ community, Gay Asian Pacific Alliance, and held the title of Mr. GAPA 2005.  He was the kind of person you immediately felt comfortable with.  I've been participating in AIDS Walk San Francisco from the beginning and Wilson would sponsor me every year.  I only knew him for about twenty years, but such wonderful years!  I remember sitting one night talking with him for hours at a now defunct restaurant.  Wilson also loved to travel, and he generously shared pictures and stories of his adventures.  His warmth and kindness will always be remembered.

Happy birthday in heaven dear Wilson.  Thank you for the times we shared.  I'm sure you are showing your kindness now to the angels.

Oh my!

We knew him first as as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, but we have come to know him as so much more. George Takei is also a very outspoken activist who is paving the way for LGBTQ+ generations yet to come. When I watched him on the bridge during those Star Trek episodes, I had no idea George was a gay man, but know the whole world knows and is proud.

Most people might know him largely from his voice work and his acting, including a classic Twilight Zone episode, an old Perry Mason, and his legacy project, the more recent musical Allegiance.  I really like his activism though and all the things he is accomplishing now as an openly gay married man.  With husband Brad by his side, he really is going where no man has gone before.

Now about that whole "oh my!" thing. I love that he says it, but so do I and I've been saying it since I was in high school. No, I didn't copy George Takei. I'd never heard of him back when I first said it.

I remember the first time I met him. Kind, polite, and warm. I don't easily say that about many celebrities. It was at an LGBTQ event, and we didn't have time for much conversation, but I've seen a lot of him in public, including his famous facebook posts, and I can easily say he is making a positive difference.  He seemed like the perfect person to end the month with.

Happy Pride!

Rise

This 30-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years. His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought-after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed. Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation. Justin was one of those who was harassed. Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow, he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone.

I haven't actually met Justin, but I sure would like to. He gives back and makes a difference and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work. He inspires me every single day, especially with his Letters By Justin where he personally writes encouraging messages.

 

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at http://www.riseagainstbullying.ca/ (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

The Smile of Ken

If you read this blog regularly, you may recall me writing about Kenneth Felts back in 2020 saying "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay! Since then, Ken met a man, Johnny Javier Hau, and fell in love. Last year they married, and the New York Times wrote up their story.

If you don't know the story, let me catch you up. After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret.  It seems his daughter is also gay, so in 2020 he came out to her, and then to the whole world.  All the details are in a book he has written My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90.  I found the book to be both interesting and very moving.

I have had the privilege of communicating with Ken and Johnny these past few years and while we have never met in person, everything I see is great joy and happiness.  Coming out can be a very good thing.  In nearly every picture I see of Ken, he is smiling.  How wonderful!  I look forward to someday meeting him in person.  I'd love to hear more of his stories.

Who else

Are there other openly LGBTQ+ celebrities that we haven't mentioned?  Indeed, there are!  I'm thinking of Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Elliot Page, Neil Patrick Harris, Robin Roberts, Dustin Lance Black, Chaz Bono, Ian McKellen, Holland Taylor, Ronen Rubinstein, Barry Manilow, Wesley Eure, and Adam Lambert to name just a few.  

There is also a long list of famous LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers who are no longer living.  So many of them weren't able to come out during their lifetime.  These days it seems to be much safer in many countries to live as your true self.  It wasn't that long ago, when you had to hide your true identity if you were part of the LGBT+ community.

When I hear Lily Tomlin talking about her wife or Lance Bass saying something about his husband, it warms my heart.  Visibility makes a difference.  

As Pride Month continues, I will write here about some other people who have publicly come out.  In addition to all of the performers, there are also the writers, athletes, politicians, activists, and others in the public eye who have come out over the years.  The list is too long to name everyone and that is a very good thing.  The more people come out, the easier it is for the next person.  Perhaps the day will come when we won't judge people by their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Perhaps.

It's Mikey Bustos Day

One of my favorite members of our LGBTQ+ community is Canadian Mikey Bustos. (His full name is actually Michael John Yadan Tumanguil Pestano Tilapia Bustos III, but I'll just call him Mikey).

For many years I have enjoyed the humor that Mikey shares in his videos and also his great musical abilities.  Click HERE to enjoy some of his music.  Earlier this year he performed with Debbie Gibson.

It was back in 2019 that Mikey came out as bisexual and also told us that he is romantically involved with his manager RJ Garcia. The two of them share a lot of their lives via social media, including a wonderful house and farm they built in the Philippines.  Last week Mikey's mom flew in from her home in Toronto and they headed off to a vacation in Vietnam.

I have written about Mikey for the past several years during Pride month, not only because he is openly bisexual, but also because today is his birthday.  Happy birthday Mikey and thanks for continuing to share so much joy!

Adam Bouska

During this Pride Month, I've been writing here about LGBTQ events and heroes.  Ever heard of Adam Bouska?  I have written about him here before, but his name might not be as well-known as some of the others I have written about.  I'm sure you have seen his work. Openly gay Adam is an American fashion photographer who was best known for his pictures of male models, until the NOH8 campaign.  That's him in the picture.

It was back in 2009 that Adam and partner Jeff Parshley, in response to the passage of Proposition 8, began NOH8. The photographs feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, (symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 or other legislation), with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest, as in the photo here of Adam.  LGBTQ leaders and many celebrities were pictured at the start of Adam's NOH8 campaign and folks who believe in equality are still being photographed in this manner.

The photography of Adam Bouska has also been a part of fundraisers for HIV/AIDS, marriage equality, and pet adoptions.  Examples of his photos and more about Adam can be found on his website at http://www.adambouska.com/

Wonderful Tita Aida

Way back in the 90s, I had the great pleasure of first working with Nikki Calma, better known to most as Tita Aida. There are so many incredible things I could write about her: her activism, her wonderful smile, the energy that never seems to run out, her willingness to give back and make a difference. Oh my!

Back when I first met her, she was her working with the Asian AIDS Project in San Francisco, which later became the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center and now known as San Francisco Community Health Center. (That organization quickly became one of my favorites, by the way).

She has taken on leadership roles at the API Pride Pavilion and Stage at San Francisco Pride and has also served on the Pride Board of Directors. She also lends her incredible talent as a performer to emcee portions of these events. The annual GAPA Runway is another place where you will find her behind the microphone.

Tita has been a leader for Trans March SF (which takes place each year during Pride Weekend) and for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. She has hosted numerous community events and fundraisers. Everything she does is with style and charm. Pretty much everyone in San Francisco is glad that Tita Aida came their way.

Seldom do I write here about people I actually know, but I should have written about this wonderful person long ago.  I not only know this person, but am proud to call her a friend!

Gilbert's Rainbow

Gilbert Baker has been written about before in this blog.  He certainly made a difference in this world.  When he passed away seven years ago, not only did I write about him, but his passing was reported on the tv network newscasts.  The rainbow flag that he created continues to give hope to people all around the world!

More tributes have come, including the naming of things in his honor.  I'm always amazed at how many know his story, and the story of the remarkable flag he created. While folks know about the flag, not as many know that Baker served in the United States Army from 1970 to 1972, stationed as a medic in San Francisco at the very beginning of the gay rights movement. In 1972 he worked on Proposition 19, the first marijuana legalization initiative in California. It was then that he learned to sew and made banners for gay-rights and anti-war protest marches. He also became one of the early members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.

The posthumous release of his memoir, "Rainbow Warrior: My Life in Color" (Chicago Review Press, 2019), is a great way to find out more about him.

It was a joy for me to work with Gilbert Baker a number of years ago, and I will always be grateful for this man who really gave back and made a difference.  With every waving rainbow flag this Pride Month, and always, take a moment, and think of Gilbert.

The man behind the Quilt

If you know about The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, the man you can thank for it is Cleve Jones.  Along with Marcus Conant, Frank Jacobson and Richard Keller, Jones also created the Kaposi's Sarcoma Research and Education Foundation, which later became the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The tv program you enjoyed a few years ago, showing LGBTQ history (When We Rise), was based on a book by Jones "When We Rise: My Life in the Movement."

Close friends over the years with the late rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker, Cleve Jones might not be a name you recognize, and his face might not be familiar, but he has been an LGBTQ and HIV activist most of his life.  The stories he has are a powerful picture of how far we have come.  Cleve Jones knew Harvey Milk, and the seeds of activism were probably planted back then.  He has been a giant in the lgbtq community ever since.  In addition, Cleve has been a Community and Political Coordinator with a major hospitality workers’ labor union.

With over 48,000 3’ x 6’ panels, the story of The Quilt, is a fascinating one. You can learn more about it, and even donate in support, at http://www.aidsquilt.org/  This past weekend, The National AIDS Memorial marked the 35th anniversary of the AIDS Memorial Quilt with an historic outdoor display in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, featuring 3,000 panels of the Quilt.

Cleve Jones is not someone I know well - I used to see him at events or walking around the neighborhood back when I lived in San Francisco, but I certainly respect and admire all he has done, and so am pleased to mention him here during Pride Month.

We need to know our history

I began this month by writing a bit about LGBTQ+ celebrations and reasons why they are necessary.  I also wrote a little about music, film, and other entertainment.  Hearing a story recently about someone who wasn't quite sure who Marsha P. Johnson was, I knew I needed to head in that direction.  We need to know our history,

Marsha P. Johnson was an activist in New York City from the 1960s to the 1990s. Co-founder of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, Marsha was also a visible presence at protests and marches and at the same time was a mother figure to young trans women. Facing ridicule, bullying, and harassment, Marsha did not yield from being her true self, and in doing so made a huge difference. (The middle initial P, according to her was Pay it No Mind).

Many of us are aware of those who make a difference in the town where we live, but folks in other places do things that lead to a better life for us all.  Whether you are from New Jersey where Marsha was born, New York where she became known, or the other side of the earth, it's important to know that things she did, made a difference.   

Although the police report her death as suicide, there is much evidence to suggest that her death was as a result of a hate crime.  As part of her legacy, we should all pledge to do everything possible to end the plague of hate crimes against our trans sisters and brothers.

Performing Arts and the LGBTQ+ Community

Everyone loves a good performance, right? Well, the performing arts has long been a safer place for the LGBTQ+ community, even though it is hardly perfect and full of stereotypes. Many people think that all male ballet dancers are gay, for example, and I happen to know dozens who are not.

It is still nearly impossible to find representation of trans or bisexual people in theatre, and gay women are too often narrowly represented in terms of stereotypes.  Things though are certainly better in opera, ballet, theatre, and other performing arts, then they might be elsewhere.  

It's lovely to see so many regional theatres opening their seasons in the middle of Pride Month. It is in regional theatre that so many of our LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers across the country are able to be themselves and perfect their craft. Don't get me wrong. Broadway is a wonderful exhibit of commercial theatre, but those small 99-seat theatres across the country reach some many people in those little places where there might not be any other opportunity.

Speaking of Broadway, how wonderful that the Tony Awards came last night, right in the middle on Pride Month. Hosted by queer superstar Ariana DeBose for the third consecutive year and featuring a number of high-profile LGBTQ+ stars and creatives. There was even a moment that brought me to tears - the acceptance speech by openly gay Jonathan Groff.  "My family knew the life-saving power of fanning the flame of a young person's passion without judgment… I walk through life with an open heart because you let me know that I could."

All the letters

Most people are familiar with the rainbow flag and the trans flag is fairly well known too, but what about this flag?  Do you recognize it?  This is the bisexual flag created by Michael Page to represent and increase visibility of bisexuals within the LGBTQ community and also within society as a whole.

Page says the pink represents sexual attraction to same sex only (lesbians and gay men).  The blue field represents sexual attraction to the opposite sex only (heterosexuals).  The overlapping purple represents sexual attraction to both sexes (bisexuals).

When Pride events first began, most of the emphasis was on gay men.  Gradually it has changed to include the entire LGBTQ+ umbrella, but some still don't get as much attention.  All of the letters are important, not just the first two.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) wrote an open letter to bisexuals back in 2019 (which you can read in full HERE).  That letter says in part "Pride can be a hard time for those who fall within the bisexual, pansexual, queer and sexually fluid community.  Studies show that bi people make up nearly 50% of the LGBTQ community, but too often it can feel like we’re all alone, walking a line between being 'too queer' or 'not queer enough.'"  During this Pride Month, remember your bisexual sisters and brothers and remember too that all groups are important. 

Randy was first

Back in the late 70s, when I lived in San Francisco, I met a television reporter named Randy Shilts.  A major magazine in a brief mention, said he was the first openly gay television news reporter.  I remember saying to him, "I've always been openly gay, so what made you the first?"  Regardless of who was actually first, Randy was covering things that nobody else was. 

After leaving the public tv station where he had been working, Randy went on to the major local newspaper, where he again paid more attention to lgbt issues, than any other reporter.  Books followed.  He gave us only three, but three important ones:  Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the US Military, And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, and The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

He wanted to write more.  Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church was to have been examined in his next book, but AIDS claimed his life at the young age of 42, before he was able to get to that.

I've written here about Randy Shilts before, and you may think it odd that I bring him up so much.  We knew each other, but never became close.  Randy made a difference though.  He brought us news we needed to hear.  He talked about HIV/AIDS when nobody else was.  Although there is some controversy, especially when he called for the closure of gay bathhouses, Randy continued to dig up the facts and report them to us.  He might not be recognized by everyone, but I am thrilled that he was one of the first to receive a plaque on San Francisco's Rainbow Honor Walk.

Thanks for the reports and for the books Randy.  Thanks for making a difference!

Love is love is love is love is love is love

Our LGBTQ+ heroes also includes allies - many of them, too many to separately write about, but there is one who always inspires me: Lin-Manuel Miranda.  He's a playwright, lyricist, composer, singer, actor, producer, and activist. Oh and a bunch of other things.  Most of you already know that.

Now when you work in the theatre, there's a good chance you will run into some gay people, but that doesn't necessarily mean you will be supportive.   Lin-Manuel Miranda is not only supportive, he inspires.

Back in 2016, right after the horrific Pulse nightclub massacre, Miranda won a Tony Award and his moving acceptance speech will long be remembered. "And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love. Cannot be killed or swept aside," he said in part.

Shorty afterward, he began selling a shirt at his official merchandise site which benefitted Equality Florida, a gay and lesbian advocacy group supporting victims of the Pulse shootings. On the front of the shirt if said "Love cannot be killed or swept aside.  Now fill the world with music, love and pride."  On the back, "Love is love is love is love is love is love."

The world can never have too much love.  Thank for inspiring us Mr Miranda and thanks for all the love!

Remembering Pulse

On June 12, 2016, a 29-year-old man shot and killed 49 people and wounded another 53 people in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, FL. Each year since then, I have written about it here in this space. There is a lot of celebrating during LGBTQ+ Pride Month, but I don't want us to ever forget our tragedies. 

 

Officials have characterized the shooting as an act of terrorism, but it has not been called a hate crime. It has been argued that the shooter was not targeting the club because of gay patrons. While that may be true, the injured and the lives lost were mostly from the LGBT+ Community.

These are the names of the dead:

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chavez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22

Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

May we never forget these lives cut short.

Never give up

I've written here a lot about Harvey Bernard Milk.  Probably more than any other person. People need to know who this man was and what he did. His early years were on Long Island, and even after a stint in the Navy, Harvey returned to Long Island to teach. We remember him more though for the short time he spent in San Francisco, and for the encouraging words he spoke, and for his tragic death.  

His famous "Hope speech" is so often quoted, but there was much more encouragement than that. In a taped message that wasn't heard until after his assassination, he urged gay people to come out. "I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they'll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects ... I hope that every professional gay will say 'enough', come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help."  That is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.

Harvey's political career was short, and he didn't accomplish many of the things he might have, but he became a symbol - an icon. He gave us hope, and he continues to, 46 years after his death.

Once, in an interview with The San Francisco Chronicle, Harvey said "If I turned around every time somebody called me a faggot, I'd be walking backward - and I don't want to walk backward."

Harvey Milk led us forward. I recall those days in San Francisco, and the energy and the enthusiasm still exists. There may be difficult moments and our country may regret some political decisions, but we must continue to move forward and never give up. Recalling a portion of Harvey's most famous speech, "The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up." 

This month, take a moment and remember Harvey, and never give up!

I'm gay

When Ellen DeGeneres publicly came out and announced that she is gay back in 1997, it was a big deal. Gay celebrities lived in the closet most of the time fearing that their careers would be hurt. Ellen even had her tv sitcom character come out. When Lance Bass came out nine years later it wasn't as big. There already were some openly gay musicians and Lance was not currently doing that much performing. As more and more people came out it became easier for the next.

Neil Patrick Harris played a non-gay role on his hit television show, so you might expect him to be the last to tell the world he is gay, but tell he did, around the same time as Lance.  Did is popularity go down?  Nope.  Not a bit.  In fact, he seems to have become more popular.

Ricky Martin, Rosie O’ Donnell, BD Wong, Jim Parsons, Cynthia Nixon, Meredith Baxter, and George Takei and just a few of the dozens who in recent years have said "I'm gay." Each time someone says it there seems to be a little less surprise and a little less controversy.  Gay people exist.  Some of them are famous.  It's really no big deal.  Back in 2020 we even saw a married gay man run for President of the United States!

Closets are really just for clothes and so more and more people are being open about who they are.  People are being honest, and the honesty is being rewarded in the form of more acceptance and more equality.  It's about time.

That Certain Summer

Gay characters on tv?  Of course!  In 2024 we are seeing more gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters in main roles on television than ever before.  I especially like how characters have been portrayed on shows like Major Crimes, Tommy, Modern Family, Star Trek: Picard, 9-1-1: Lone Star, and Council of Dads.  It hasn't always been that way though.  Over the years, there have been gay characters, but usually they were made fun of and treated with all the stereotypes.

Way back in 1959, a gay tv drama South was broadcast on the ITV anthology Play of the Week.  I'm not certain, but I think it was the first. In 1961 San Francisco public tv station KQED presented the first documentary on homosexuality to be seen on American television, The Rejected.  The last I checked; you could watch in on YouTube.  When That Certain Summer aired on ABC Television in 1972, it was the first television screenplay to sensitively explore homosexuality through the story of an American family split by divorce.  Although just a tv movie with a single airing, That Certain Summer was groundbreaking. 

Hal Holbrook and Martin Sheen play the gay couple in That Certain Summer with Scott Jacoby as the 14-year-old son of Holbrook's character. The dad had divorced several years earlier, and the boy does not know that his father is gay and in a committed relationship with his new life partner.  No suggestions of physical intimacy back then.  It's just a simple love story.

Do you have any favorite LGBTQ+ characters from tv land?  Is there a show with a LGBTQ+ theme that you particularly like?  Television has really come a long way since That Certain Summer, but has it come far enough?  Is there proper LGBTQ+ representation?  What do YOU think?

Rainbow Reading

Thursday, I looked at records, and yesterday it was film, so what comes next? Television programs? (I don't think there has been enough content). Theatre? (Oh my! Where would we begin)? No today I decided to take a look at LGBTQ+ related books. 

Now a list, like I did the past two days, would be much more difficult when looking at books. Should I only include non-fiction? Should the author be part of the LGBTQ+ community? Should picture books be included? Does the publication date matter? Should it be a life-changing sort of book? Rather than worry about any of those things, I'm just going to throw out a few ideas.

If I were doing a "list" it might include Undoing Gender by Judith Butler, Queer: A Graphic History by Dr. Meg-John Barker and Julia Scheele, Our Lady of the Flowers by Jean Genet, Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson, and Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman. I might be tempted to list Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, Wrong by Dennis Cooper, Reflections of a Rock Lobster: A Story about Growing Up Gay by Aaron Fricke, or even The Color Purple by Alice Walker.  I'm not doing a list though. It would really be too hard.

LGBTQ+ books aimed at children? There are several very good ones.  Grandad's Camper by British author Harry Woodgate, a picture book about a girl who helps her grandfather with his grief, is fantastic. Her same-sex grandfathers Gramps and Grandad toured all over in their camper, but Gramps has died and now Granddad isn't traveling anymore. Their amazing granddaughter comes to the rescue.  It's a very heartwarming story.

What about you? Are there some LGBTQ+ themed books that you are planning to read in the near future? Do you have some all-time favorites?

It's all about the movies

If not the music, maybe it's about the movies!  Who doesn't like a good film?  The number of motion pictures with an LGBTQ+ theme is not terribly extensive, although it certainly has improved.  All too often, if there was a gay man he was a stereotype.  Many of you have favorite films, and I even have a list of ones that I really enjoy.  This doesn't even include the many marvelous shorts that are LGBTQ+ themed.  Anyway, I've done this before here, but this Pride Month, I thought I would do it once again.  

So, here's my list: 20-Carol (2015), 19-Boys Don’t Cry (1999), 18-The Crying Game (1992), 17-The Queen (1968), 16-The Times of Harvey Milk (1984), 15-Transamerica (2006), 14-13-Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997), 13-Longtime Companion (1990), 12-The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994), 11-Milk (2008), 10-The Boys in the Band (1970), 9-The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), 8-Love, Simon (2018), 7-Aimée und Jaguar (1999), 6-My Own Private Idaho (1991), 5-The Birdcage (1996), 4-Call Me by Your Name (2018), 3-Brokeback Mountain (2005), 2-The Wedding Banquet (1993), and 1-Torch Song Trilogy (1988).

Now, I'll bet many of you have lists of your own.  Do feel free to share them here.  I'd love to know about the movies I might have missed.

It's all about the music

It's been said that gay people only like to party and have sex. WRONG!  The LGBTQ+ community is as varied as any group, and generalities are certainly not going to work here, but for many there was a time when the music and the clubs were terribly important.  As equality slowly becomes the norm, the party atmosphere isn't as important.

There was certainly a time when you had to hide if you were gay.  (In some places sadly, that is still true).  Going to gay bars and clubs was a release, a way to unwind.  It was also where you could meet other LGBTQ+ people.  This was important since you certainly couldn't be that open in school or at work.  Just as the clubs were important for socializing, so was the music. 

In keeping with Pride month, I put together a top 25 list of lgbtq anthems -- 25: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Abba, 24: Same Love - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, 23: Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland, 22: Ice Cream Truck - Cazwell, 21: Believe - Cher, 20: The Night I Fell in Love - Pet Shop Boys, 19: If I Had You - Adam Lambert, 18: Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston, 17: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester, 16: True Trans Soul Rebel - Against Me, 15: Tainted Love - Imelda May, 14: Born this Way - Lady Gaga, 13: No More Tears - Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 12: Express Yourself - Madonna, 11: True Colors - Cindi Lauper, 10: Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent, 9: It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls, 8: Constant Craving - kd lang, 7: YMCA - The Village People, and a favorite of mine 6: Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson.  The top five -- 5: Your Song - Elton John, 4: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor, 3: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman, 2: Raise Your Glass - Pink, and 1: I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross.

Now while you spend your day humming these tunes, remember that it really isn't all about the music.  There are important matters in life and those same things are true for the LGBTQ+ community, but these songs (and so many others) were an outlet in days when the closet was a necessity for so many.

all kinds of heroes

The Pride Celebrations of the LGBTQ+ communities all around the world are happy and joyous, in part - but they are also rallies for justice and continuations of the fight for equality.  Along the way there have been many heroes.  In this blog, I write about making a difference, and while there have been numerous leaders over the years, a number of whom I will write about here, not all of the lgbtq heroes identify as LGBTQ+.  There are numerous non-gay allies who have made an incredible difference.

These days we know more and more names because folks are less fearful of the gay, bisexual, or transgender label.  Many celebrities are coming out, and that in itself makes a difference, with more visibility.  More people are coming out to family and friends too.  Think for a moment.  How many people do you know who are part of the LGBTQ+ community?

The heroes?  Well, there are certainly too many to write about in just one short blog post, but they include Cleve Jones, Phyllis Lyon, Del Martin, Harvey Milk, Brooklyn Owen, Gavin Newsom, Cecilia Chung, Ken Jones, Dustin Lance Black, Barbara Gittings, Neil Giuliano, Gilbert Baker, and Vic Basile. Also Troy Perry, Bayard Rustin, Adam Bouska, José Sarria, Chaz Bono, Felicia Elizondo, Blake Brockington, Ryan Cassata, Dan Savage, and Tamara Ching.  The list can go on and on, and hopefully more and more folks will come forward and fight for what is right - equality for all.  

Please do feel free to share your LGBTQ+ Pride stories.  What is the most moving experience you have ever had.  Who are your heroes in 2024? 

Can I interest you in a donut?

The Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village in New York City is the primary reason why we celebrate Pride during June.  Most of us know about The Stonewall Inn and the history behind it, but can I interest you in a donut?  What many claim was the first LGBTQ+ uprising in the United States occurred ten years before Stonewall at Cooper Donuts in Los Angeles.

How about the Dewey’s Lunch Counter sit-in back in Philadelphia in 1965? That too was before Stonewall. The Compton's Cafeteria Riot occurred the following year in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco.  Again, before Stonewall, yet that is the one most folks know about.  There have been other incidents where the LGBTQ+ community stood up and fought back - some famous and some not as well known.

The parades and marches and celebrations during Pride Month every year (and in some places at other times) remember our history and bring us together to see that we continue down the path of equality, fairness, and justice.  

Of course, there is a rich and important history connected to LGBTQ Pride Month, and I'll continue telling you about it here.  Do feel free to share some information about your neck-of-the-woods in the comments section below!  If there isn't a big parade in your community, let's at least eat a donut in remembrance of the LA uprising at Cooper Donuts, and share our hopes for the future.

Preference?

Do you like each of these ice-cream flavors equally?  Most, I suspect, will enjoy the one in the center back more and any other, while for me it's the one in the center front: strawberry.  Yum!  Why am I talking about ice-cream though?  Well, it's to say the same thing I have said many times here (even using ice-cream once before to help explain).  Being gay or bisexual is NOT a matter of preference.  This being LGBTQ+ Pride Month, I thought I would take a moment and explain this all again.

I would suspect that while you might enjoy chocolate more, an occasional vanilla or strawberry, or even a nice mint ice-cream would still make you smile.  Now, for those of you who are gay and reading this, do you find yourself frequently attracted to the opposite gender?  Do you act on that attraction?  Well, if the answer is yes, then you likely aren't really gay.  Our sexual orientation is a bit more complicated than a casual "shall I be with a man today, or with a woman?"

We all have to realize that being gay is not a lifestyle choice and it isn't a preference.  Please help me spread the word!

The need for LGBTQ Pride

Every year I seem to hear someone say "How come there is no Straight Pride Celebration"?  In case you hadn't noticed, heterosexual life is pervasive and permeates just about everything in our culture.  While things may be changing, especially in big cities, the anti-gay and anti-trans climate is still very present in so many places that people have to hide their identities.  Once a year at LGBTQ Pride Celebrations all over the world, people travel from smaller communities to be in a place where they don't have to hide - where, even if only for a few days, they can be themselves. 

 

LGBTQ Pride celebrations provide a sense of community to people who have so often been isolated and outcast, even from their own families and they bring attention to political or social causes that are important to LGBT people.

 

As someone (I have forgotten who) once said "Gay Pride was not born out of a need to celebrate not being straight but our right to exist without prosecution."  Indeed.  How many places can you think of where someone will go to jail because they are heterosexual?  Where is someone likely to lose their job for NOT being gay?  Think about it.

 

Do large cities like New York, San Francisco, London, or Toronto still need LGBTQ Pride events?  Indeed they do.  While there does seem to be more freedom and more equality in those cities than in so many places, the big cities provide a visible place of safety and a place where folks can and do come from all over.  That is also another reason to keep doing these celebrations.  They can be held up as an example to others.  Holding these celebrations also gives those in small towns and those who live in a place that lacks tolerance, a place to which they can escape.  Wherever you are this month, take some time to think about equality and being your true self.  Everyone should have that opportunity.
 

Some say there is a "straight Pride" celebration every day of the year. Ideally, we wouldn't have to use any labels. Every day could be a celebration of who we are, including people who happen to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. We're sadly not at that day yet in most of the world. 

Pride Month is Here

LGBTQ+ Pride Month has arrived and this weekend several cities, including West Hollywood, Salt Lake City, and Dallas, will host big celebrations and festivals. With more than sixty countries having anti-LGBTQ+ laws, this moth is not just about partying though. Pride began as a protest, and that element must continue until everyone around the world enjoys equal rights and freedom from discrimination.

In his proclamation for Pride Month, President Joe Biden said yesterday "We reflect on the progress we have made so far in pursuit of equality, justice, and inclusion." He detailed some of his accomplishments for the LGBTQ+ Community and further said "To the entire LGBTQI+ community — and especially transgender children — please know that your President and my entire Administration have your back. We see you for who you are: made in the image of God and deserving of dignity, respect, and support."

So many advances have been made over the years, but sadly there has more recently been an increase in the number of state laws that severely restrict the rights of people based on their sexual orientation or gender identity. While there is going to be a lot of celebrating in the days ahead, there is still a lot of work to be done.