Five

I've always tried to look at the good there is in my life instead of dwelling on the occasional bumps that might come along.  Some folks will let their bad days get them down, but no matter what might have gone wrong in your life, there are certainly things going right as well.  Think about it.

Recently, a friend of mine inspired me to count five things I am grateful for every night before I go to bed.   Now five might seem like a big number to you, but as I reflect each evening, I find that it is actually very small.  My cousin told me she has started a gratitude journal and tries to write one thing she is grateful for every day. She tells me it helps her stay positive. 

Each day I easily think of many more than five and have to actually move away to other thoughts.  There are just so many blessings in my life, including friends, family, things done, foods eaten, words heard or read, things seen, places visited, and so much more.

Had a bad day lately?  I invite you to think instead about the good - you know there is some good.  In fact, I invite you to think of five things as well.  Some days it may be harder than others.  Did you have a good meal or spend time with a favorite person?  Did you receive a gift or read an inspiring story?  Did you fall in love or meet an admired hero?  Think about it tonight.  Think about five.

Sadness at a time of joy

Thanksgiving weekend is a time of joy for most Americans. Normally we gather together with family and friends and enjoy wonderful feasts while watching football and parades and preparing for a month of holiday parties. Hopefully we spend some of the day doing what the day was actually set aside for - giving thanks. There have been times though when this joyful holiday is also a day of sadness. 

Those of you old enough will recall that President John F Kennedy was shot and killed just five days before Thanksgiving back in 1963. The new President, Lyndon Johnson announced on Thanksgiving morning that Cape Canaveral, in Florida "shall be known hereafter as Cape Kennedy." (The old name was restored less than ten years later).

Already suffering great sadness for the 918 souls lost in the Jonestown, Guyana massacre, San Francisco was hit by another tragedy back in 1978 - the murder in City Hall of two elected officials. 

Today marks the anniversary of those assassinations of San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and Supervisor Harvey Milk. People waking up on this date in 1978 saw a headline in the San Francisco Chronicle that read MOSCONE, MILK SLAIN--DAN WHITE IS HELD. Less than a month before Christmas, with San Francisco decorated in its holiday splendor, there was great sadness at a time of joy. 

The sadness has continued throughout the COVID-19 pandemic and so many other bad incidents that we see in the news every day.  Indeed we can all use more joy in our lives.  It will happen.  I'm certain of that.  We do need to do some work though.  We need to get ourselves on the same side and care about others.  We need to work toward a day when this time of joy will be only joyful. We need to work toward a day when police aren't shooting men in the street and when elected officials are not being murdered while doing their work and when cult leaders and not drawing innocent and unsuspecting people to their deaths and when cars are plowing into holiday parades. 

We need to work toward a day when people always care about others and won't moan about wearing a mask to protect others. When we get to that day we can truly be thankful.

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

Just about everyone is familiar with Clement Clarke Moore's classic poem 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and in a month, I'll be happy to share it here, but NOT NOW. I don't know when we got in such a hurry, but it isn't anything new. Each year though we seem to outdo each other by being earlier and earlier. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day, and I'd like to concentrate on that for now.

Now don't get me wrong. I love Christmas! I always have and probably always will. When I was little, I was scared because of a horrible news story and Mom said to think of something happy. I thought of Christmas. Christmas makes me happy. This isn't Christmastime though. It certainly wasn't Christmastime when I saw those first decorations going up a couple of months ago!

I'm very traditional, and there might not be many more folks who think this way. In a month I will begin my Christmas festivities and they will continue until January 6th. For me, the twelve days of Christmas is the way to celebrate, but I may very well be alone in that thinking.

We do have a very fine holiday coming up tomorrow. I can begin tonight with this wonderful children's book featuring Farmer Mack Nuggett and his turkey farm. This is a delightful tale that this grown man pulls out each year, even though I am told that Dav Pilkey created it for little kids.  I guess there is a bit of kid in all of us!

Remembering our trans sisters and brothers

Transgender Day of Remembrance founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith explains the purpose of the day:  "Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. I am no stranger to the need to fight for our rights, and the right to simply exist is first and foremost. With so many seeking to erase transgender people -- sometimes in the most brutal ways possible -- it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice." 

 

A friend of mine has organized an event in Hew Haven, CT that will be livestreamed on social media.  This is still the way many places will observe TDOR as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.  I invite you to share information about events online in the comments section below and to all name those whom we have lost.  Remember them.  Say their names.

 

Although this blog is NOT about me, I also want to add a personal note this morning.  I'm not sure how many trans friends I have, but it is a very large number, and it hurts me to my very core to see any one of them mistreated.  I don't like seeing any human being mistreated, but it becomes even more difficult when it is someone you know.  There are many who are fighting for justice and equality, but nobody should have to fight.  Everyone deserves respect.  The brutal attacks must end.  The mistreating of people has got to stop.  We really need to all come together and enjoy life equally with everyone.  

Various events will take place today and tonight, candles will be lit in towns and cities all over the world to not only remember the dead, but also to bring attention to the lack of equality that we are still faced with.  More information is available HERE.  Get involved.  Make a difference.

The Ripple Effect

We've been having a couple of really tough years, but there also has been a lot of good.  When I see people reaching out and helping each other, especially during difficult times, to me it makes it extra special. I see it in the news more and more, and I see people I know doing incredible things.  The other day, a woman said to me that  she loved making people happy because it makes her happy. She said it was a ripple effect.  Indeed.

I know I have told the story here many times about how each one of us can do what seems like a small thing, but when someone else also does it, and than another person, and another, and still another, it keeps growing. It's that ripple effect. Each ripple gets a little bigger.

I'm not the only one who has talked about this before. The late Senator Robert Kennedy said "Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, it sends out a tiny ripple of hope." That's a pretty encouraging message.

Our moms and dads

How many of you have kids? Do you realize how much a parent means to a child? Yes, there are times when both the children and the parents may want to scream, but overall, if it is a good and healthy relationship, there is love and devotion that lasts forever.

It's been over seven years since my mom died and even longer since my father passed away, and I still think of them both and recall with fondness times we spent together. I can remember my mother pushing my sister in her baby buggy with me walking beside her. (I don't remember my own baby buggy days).  I can also recall my dad's last moments in the hospital, and the moment when my mom passed away too.

There are some images that never fade. Sadly some of us have horrible memories and we wish they would go away. The choice is up to every father and mother though as to how they will be remembered. The world would be such a better place if all moms and dads chose to carefully mold their children into good kids who respected others and who would go on to fondly recall those formative years.

On this Sunday morning I'm thinking of Mom and of how much she enjoyed Sundays.  Think about your parents every day.  Remember them especially on their birthdays and on Mother's Day in May and Father's Day in June, and of course during times like Halloween (oh could I tell you stories about the trick-or-treaters coming to Mom's house), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It is my hope that every parent will be one who is worthy of a celebration and that kids will always be grateful for the love of their parents. Good parenting can have a huge impact!

Pioneer in Computers

Every year from November 13th to 19th, people and organizations around the country participate in Transgender Awareness Week to help raise visibility of transgender people and address issues members of the community face. This leads up to Transgender Day of Remembrance on November 20, which memorializes victims of transphobic violence.

This morning I was going to write about why there needs to be equality for our trans sisters and brothers.  I was going to write here about ending the hate and ending the violence.  All of that is certainly important, and I implore you to open your hearts and treat all people like people.  It's really that simple.

I want to say something here though about Lynn Conway, an 83-year-old professor emerita at the University of Michigan College of Engineering, a pioneer in the tech world, and a transgender activist. Back in 2009, Conway was named one of the Stonewall 40 Trans Heroes on the 40th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, and seven years ago she was featured as one of Time magazine's 21 Transgender People Who Influenced American Culture.  Way before that though, she was fired from her job at a major computer firm, simply for being transgender, and for the next thirty years, Conway hid being transgender.

Despite her great work in the tech industry, her life was tough. Hiding your identity is not an easy thing to do. Losing a good paying job also takes its toll. When she came out though, the world was a better place. Last month there was finally an apology from that firm that fired her. It was an apology made during a companywide cyber-meeting that Conway had been invited to participate in. That day they also presented her with a Lifetime Achievement Award.  Change is slowly happening.

They who served

It was November 11, 1918, the end of “the war to end all wars.” The following year, President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11 as the first commemoration of Armistice Day, saying "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations." In 1954, it became Veterans Day.

This is not a day about war or about loss of life. Today honors military veterans regardless of whether they served during a time of conflict or peace, and it isn't about those who perished in the line of duty (Memorial Day honors those people). Today is for all persons who served in the United States Armed Forces. It used to feature parades, and speeches, and special tributes to military personnel and usually still does in many communities. In recent years retail stores use it as an excuse for a sale. One positive thing is that more and more businesses do special things for veterans on this day. Numerous restaurants across the country are giving away from meals to veterans today, for example.  Of course because of the pandemic, this Veterans Day will look a lot different.

You'll see a lot of mention on social media today about veterans, and certainly it's a very good thing to join in that. Remember they who served in our military. Say thank you to a vet!

always giving

Do I talk about money too much?  An annual event fighting blood cancers comes up next week and I invite your donations.  Every summer I talk about AIDS Walk.  So many of my friends are involved in various fundraisers, and it seems I talk a lot about them too.  Many of us have been looking ahead to the costs of Thanksgiving and the other holidays that follow.  Personally I just ran up some HUGE medical bills in the past year.  On top of all of this, the pandemic has put a lot of folks put of work.  

Part of what I am saying is that money can be tight. Many folks are living from paycheck to paycheck, and perhaps that is part of the overall need. Just how are things with you though?  Are you better off than others? Could you possibly skip the afternoon latte and give that money to the homeless man on the street instead? Of course there are other ways of giving too. Right there is the key.  Not enough money?  Well find something else that helps the cause.  Donate used clothing or donate blood or give of your time and your talent.

Some people never stop giving and they inspire me to want to do more. If I find I am unable to give in the manner I would like, I just think of a different way to give. Giving to me shouldn't have any kind of limitation.  I'm sorry if any of you think I talk too much about giving, but I really like the idea of always giving!  It just seems like such a positive thing to do.

I mean to be one too

Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us. This one verse from Ecclesiasticus, used to be read every year on All Saints' Day, because it gives a good summary of what the day is all about. A passage from the Revelation to Saint John also helps explain the day. "These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." Of course a good preacher might be explaining the whole All Saints' Day concept to us, or we can look to a wonderful hymn that does an excellent job telling the story.

Written by a young Englishwoman, Lesbia Scott and first published back in 1929, "I sing a song of the saints of God" clearly sets out what All Saints' Day is all about. Today we honor all the saints, known and unknown. In the belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and those still living, we honor not only the named saints (such as those pictured in the icon here), but all the faithful. The word "all" is important to me here because I firmly believe that it is not just about the Blessed Virgin Mary, Blessed Paul the Apostle, Blessed Francis of Assisi, and the rest. It is about every single one of us because we all have the ability to do good things and to make a difference. 

Lesbia Scott's words seem to say the same thing. She lists a doctor, a queen, and a shepherdess in her first verse and then continues the list adding a soldier and a priest and one who was slain, in verse number two. It's really the third verse though that give me the greatest hope: 

"They lived not only in ages past,

There are hundreds of thousands still.

The world is bright with the joyous saints

Who love to do Jesus' will.

You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,

In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;

For the saints of God are just folk like me,

And I mean to be one too."

There's the kicker: "And I mean to be one too." Yes, today is a celebration of the various saints down through the ages, but that is only part of it. "They lived not only in ages past, There are hundreds of thousands still."  Celebration?  Certainly.  Today though is also an invitation.  "And I mean to be one too."