Tuesday, December 31, 2013

preparing to write a new book

It's the seventh day of Christmas, but it's also the last day of the year. 2013 is coming to a close! A big thank you to all who read this regularly and I hope you find something here of value.

Now it's time to close this 2013 book though. I hope your life has had a lot of great moments during the year! Mine has certainly had more ups and downs than ever before and I am blessed to have such wonderful friends.  My sister is also such a wonderful blessing in my life!
 
Tomorrow we open a brand new book. It's pages are blank. We of course are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and it's first chapter is New Year's Day!  Let's make this new book a best-seller!

Happy New Year everyone!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Like sands through the hourglass

Father Time, also known as 2013, is soon going to be leaving us and making way for Baby New Year. Is there anything you wanted to do in 2013 but didn't? If you had more time, could you get to it?  Better hurry - just two days left!

I'm not one for making resolutions - so many of them are broken in the first frew days anyway. I'm not a big fan of regrets either. You cannot change what is - you can only try to do your best.

Like sands running through the hourglass, the moments of our life roll on by. I always try to do my best. Sometimes I do terribly well. Sometimes I fail. Doing our best though counts a lot. Just keep on trying!

Friday, December 27, 2013

thanks for your wonderful testimony Otis

One of the nicest and kindest men I have ever known, The Right Reverend Edgar Otis Charles, who for more than six decades served as a priest and then bishop in the Episcopal Church, died yesterday afternoon, just a few months after losing his husband Felipe Sanchez Paris-Charles. 
 
I first met Bishop Otis years ago, after he had retired as the Bishop of Utah and after he had come out as the first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church (or any denomination).  The gentle yet warm spirit that was his made me know immediately that we would always be friends.  It was so much fun running in to him unexpectedly sometimes at public events.
 
His place in the history of the Episcopal Church is solid.  For fourteen years he served as a member of the Standing Liturgical Commission, which developed the 1979 edition of the Book of Common Prayer.  In the House of Bishops, he was chair of the Prayer Book Committee and a member of the Bishops' Committee on Racism.  After his years as Utah's bishop, he became dean of the  Episcopal Divinity School. He was also active in the peace movement and, after coming out, became active in lgbt matters.
 
It was mostly with his husband Felipe that I knew him.  It was always Otis AND Felipe!  When one of them sponsored me for AIDS Walk, I knew it was from them both. The two appear in the film "Love Free or Die," a portion of which you can see HERE and get a sense of the love between Otis and Felipe.  You could see the love in their eyes.
 
Services for Bishop Otis have not yet been arranged but I imagine that Saint Gregory's, the local parish of which he was a member, will hold some kind of liturgy and there will likely be a service in Utah as well.  Rest in peace dear friend.  Thanks for your wonderful testimony.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas??

Merry Christmas?

There will be those - there always are, who will utter this greeting with a question mark in their voices. What's to be merry about? A slowed down economy?   Bullying, homophobia, racism, and prejudice still rearing their ugly heads? Pedestrian traffic fatalities?  Horrific weather conditions?  There certainly is a lot of bad news!  For me personally (yes, I know, this is NOT about me) it will be my first Christmas since Mom died this past spring and one might expect it would therefore be a little less merry.

Old Scrooge in the wonderful Dickens classic was one of those who used to question the joy of Christmas. "Humbug!" That's how he summed it all up. Scrooge found out though, and just in time, that there is always reason to be happy - there is always something to be joyful about!

I am reminded of the words preached by Saint Leo the Great way back in the fifth century:

"Today our Savior is born; let us rejoice. Sadness should have no place on the birthday of life. The fear of death has been swallowed up; life brings us joy with the promise of eternal happiness."

May we carry that message with us with no question mark at all. Merry Christmas everyone!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

O Holy Night

Finally!  The special night is here!  Tonight people all over the world will be welcoming Christmas (oh and by the way, tomorrow is the first day of Christmas, not the last).  You still have a few hours for those last minute preparations but don't delay!
 
Whether you gather with family and friends in a church at midnight and sing O Holy Night (or perhaps Silent Night) or stay at home in front of a fireplace (or the yule log on television), I hope that yours will be an enjoyable celebration.
 
In just a few hours I will be heading down to my sister's house to spend the night with her - our first Christmas since Mom died.  Tomorrow will obviously be quite different from last Christmas, but it will still be good.
 
Whoever you are and where ever you are, Christmas should be a wonderful time of celebration.  Enjoy!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Is pink still for girls and blue for boys

At the very beginning of the movie Torch Song Trilogy, a young Arnold is caught by his mother dressed in some of her finest and putting on some of her makeup. Those of you who have seen the film know that Arnold grows up to become a drag queen. How about in real life though - what happens if little boys are into dresses, wigs, and makeup?

A year ago I asked the question "Is pink still for girls and blue for boys?"  Except for the post about my mother at her time of death, more people have read that blog entry than anything else I have written.  Not long after, the New York Times Magazine just happened to ask about the same subject. Every now and than I see a post on facebook or twitter. It seems to be a subject that everyone is interested in.

When a baby comes home from the hospital and through its first couple of years, the color choice is very clear: pink for a girl and blue for a boy. When folks don't check gender ahead of time, they might build a wardrobe of neutral yellow, but no other colors are used. When children become old enough to dress all by themselves, what is a mom to do (or a dad) if the child wants the other color?

The Times magazine article I mentioned was written by Ruth Padawer who teaches at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. She does a pretty complete job of laying out facts, quoting experts, giving examples and getting folks talking. She does such a good job that, as I said, many are still discussing this. But what does it matter? Does a young boy's wardrobe choice directly influence who he becomes?

There are those who will condemn parents who allow a more fluid gender expression in their children. Are they wrong? Some of the things that really need to chance in this world of ours are negative attitudes. Is this an area where we need to do some re-thinking? Your thoughts are certainly welcome.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Happy birthday Mom

Today I expect will be a difficult day for me and my sister because this would have been Mom's 87th birthday and it of course is the first December now without her. 
 
I remember last year.  Mom and my sister had just moved to the Bay Area days before and so all three of us were going to spend the evening together - something we rarely had the chance to do in recent years.  I grabbed three roast beef sandwiches from Mom's favorite deli here in town (which has since closed down) and headed over to meet them.  It was a very quiet and simple birthday celebration and I remember telling Mom we would "do something bigger next year."

Mom had earlier in the day met a friend of mine who is a priest.  He went and brought her communion.  That evening when I was there, Mom said she really hit it off with him and that they had chatted like old friends.
 
My sister and I have both taken the day off from work and will spend the day together.  At some point we plan to go to the churchyard where Mom is buried.  Happy birthday Mom.  This is something bigger indeed.  Today you are with Daddy, and Nana, and Grandpa in paradise.  Happy birthday Mom.  Rest in peace.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The message of the season

It seems that every day there is something bad in the news. Some days are worse than others.  From schoolyard shootings to fatal pedestrian accidents, we see way too much of death in this season of our Savior's birth. How can we attend a party when we are thinking of the innocent lives lost?

I was thinking about this and it occurred to me that we have sorrow and joy even in our traditional Christmas observances. On the Church calendar for instance, the most holy night is December 24th and then the great day of our Lord's nativity comes next. Wonderful celebrating. What next though? The Church remembers the very first deacon, Saint Stephen - who was stoned to death! Just two days later we remember the horrific massacre of the Holy Innocents by Herod the Great. How can we not think this year of the twenty children killed in Newtown when we observe Holy Innocents Day, the biblical remembrance of that wicked infanticide which produced the first Christian martyrs?

Good and bad side by side. Nothing new. It has been that way for a long time. Should we just give up? Hardly! There is always a reason to keep on trying. There is always a reason to try and make a difference in the world!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Gay in America

The picture to the left, is the cover of a book that sits on my coffee table, Gay in America. What a wonderful book it is! New York photographer Scott Pasfield documented the stories of 140 gay men, and has done a truly remarkable job. I saw CNN reporter Nina Raja ask Scott “What inspired you to take on this project?” His reply: “First and foremost I started this project to make a difference.”

Wow! Making a difference - that’s what we talk about here every day. There are so many ways to do it, and here Scott Pasfield shows us another one. He made a book he says he “wished existed when (he) was a kid, one that (he) could learn about the realities of being gay.”

How did I happen to notice the book? Well the cover is a photo of Dan Choi, whom we have written about here so many times. When reporter Raja asked Scott about the cover, his answer was long and told of his first meeting with Dan Choi, after all the other photos had been taken. He closed though by saying “And it only seemed right to put the soldier that fights for us all on the cover.” I agree.

I should point out that this isn't a new book - it's a few years old, but I hope you will pick up a copy. (I might make a nice Christmas gift).   Perhaps it will inspire you to go out there and make a difference too!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Toys for all

No, it is not Christmas yet - it is not even the Christmas season, despite what the stores may be telling you.  It is however a good time to think about kids who might not be fortunate enough to have toys and books and games to brighten their days.  Each year, starting around Thanksgiving, various organizations hold toy drives and then distribute those toys to needs children within a few days of Christmas.

You have all heard of the Marine Corps' Toys For Tots program.  That is probably the best know of them all since it has been around for a long time.  They not only accept donations of toys, but also will take money to purchase toys.  If you know a child in need and want to request a toy for them, click HERE to go to their site.

Similar toy drives take place all over the country.  Walgreens stores are collecting again this year.  There are collection barrels in all of their stores and they go to whatever agency they partner with locally (here in San Francisco for example, it is the Fire Department).

Brighten a child's day.  Donate a toy.  We aren't even talking about a lot of money here.  At Walgreens for example you can buy two toys for $6.99 each and get a third one for free.  Just about everyone can afford that!

Friday, December 6, 2013

By bread alone

Father Leo Patalinghug calls Grace Before Meals a "movement" that promotes the importance of families preparing and then eating meals together. (Wasn't there an old saying that "the family that eats together, stays together")? So much of what we do happens around a meal table.  It seems the good padre is on to something!

I wrote here about Father Leo several years ago.  He and I exchanged a few emails.  Father Leo really is an inspiration to me.  His faith is strong and his commitment to family is a joy!

When not busy teaching future priests at the seminary where he works, or speaking at a high school or college just about anywhere in the country, Father Leo hosts an internet and cable cooking show.  He also maintains a website for Grace Before Meals, and has written a book.  Also, he has lately been contributing a regular cooking show to the EWTN network.  Busy man, huh?

There are some wonderful food ideas at the Grace Before Meals website and there is also tons of additional information.  I invite you to check them out though for the grace you will receive and the lessons you can learn about sharing around a meal with friends and family.  Go to https://fatherleofeeds.com/ and find out more!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The toughest job you'll ever love



With so many remembrances of John Kennedy's Presidency these days, it is certainly a good time to talk about The Peace Corps because it was Kennedy who, by Executive Order on March 1, 1961, created the government-run agency.  (I was, I should note, talked about before Kennedy, but it was he who actually made it happen and then Congress authorized it on September 21, 1961, with passage of the Peace Corps Act).  In its 52 years, over 210,000 Americans have joined the Peace Corps and served in 139 countries.
 
The Slogan “The toughest job you will ever love” says volumes. President Jimmy Carter's mother Lillian served as a nurse Carter says she had "one of the most glorious experiences of her life" in the Peace Corps.  Political commentator Chris Matthews, This Old House host Bob Vila, author Paul Theroux, and film director Taylor Hackford also served.  The experience of a lifetime they all say.

The work they do all over the world continues and the need is always there.  There are three different types of volunteers and you can find out more on their website at http://www.peacecorps.gov/ - note that all volunteers must be US citizens and at least 18 year old.

Want to know more?  The website I mentioned is a very good source.  You can also subscribe to their newsfeed HERE.  Oh and age does not have to me a factor.  Mrs Carter applied when she was 68 years old!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

no more Moishe's

Joe Sattler, owner of Moishe’s Pippic deli here in San Francisco's Hayes Valley, has called it quits.  that's right folks, Moishe’s Pippic is no more.

What a guy!  What a place!  Joe and his ever-faithful sandwich maker Able have been putting smiles on my face for years.  Both of their wives sometimes helped out.  It wasn't just a neighborhood shop.  Folks came from across the city.  Tourists visited too.  My mom enjoyed eating at Moishe’s Pippic and even had a nice roast beef sandwich from there on her last birthday.
 
Saturday was officially the last day but yesterday the sign went up.  I was sworn to secrecy last week when I found out. I didn't swear to sing the praises of Moishe's Pippic though.  How can a couple of guys running a deli, make a difference in this world?  I don't have the answer, but they sure did!
 
They will indeed be missed!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Sponsoring Jason makes a great holiday gift

A couple of months ago I told you about Jason Villalobos (that's him on the billboard) and how he has signed up again for AIDS LifeCycle and set his most ambitious fundraising goal ever. I've donated.  Many of you might have also given by now.  Yesterday was World AIDS Day.  Sponsoring Jason would be such a great way to make the day.  It would also make a great holiday gift. 
 
I've written here about Jason and his activism on a number of occasions - not just about LifeCycle, although I am particularly pleased to see him doing this again and again.  You see, Jason doesn't just participate, he has actually credited the Ride with giving him a new relationship to AIDS and to himself.
 
Jason used to live right above where this picture was taken and he was a fixture at rallies and gatherings there in the Castro.  You would see his face on posters like this and read his words in print and watch him speak at forums and on television.  Even though he has moved away to a small town, his contributions haven't become small.  Jason was just named one of this year’s POZ 100, a group of HIV-positive people who are unsung heroes in the fight against AIDS.
 
Click HERE if you can help by sponsoring Jason for any amount - all donations help!  He's riding again to raise awareness, funds, and to do his part to eliminate the stigma surrounding the disease. Won't you do your part too?

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Philippines still needs help!

In the wake of Super Typhoon Haiyan’s horrible devastation, 2.5 million people in the Philippines are in need of emergency assistance as they begin the process of rebuilding.  People all over the world have been very generous, but so much is needed.  This week as we prepare to give thanks here in the United States, let us also share with those is such great need.
 
As I have said before, the best way to donate is through organizations that are already set up and doing this work.  Setting up something new or donating to someone who just set up something takes many and wastes it.  It really needs to get to where it will do the most good.  Go to http://www.redcross.org.ph/donate - the website for The Philippine Red Cross.

The men, women and children in the Philippines are now homeless and who have no clean water or food in the wake of Typhoon Haiyan really need a hand. I think the most direct help can come through the Red Cross, but there are other good organizations set up already that are doing good work. UNICEF is another good way to give.  Click HERE to donate to their efforts.

Monday, November 25, 2013

José: An Underdog Story

If Houston Rockets Point guard Jeremy Lin suddenly showed up for a game of pickup basketball, what would you do?  José was already picking up his life when he met Jeremy, but that day he got an extra boost. 
 
This is the latest video from The Jubilee Project and like their other efforts it will move you.  Please click HERE to watch.  The story of José is also about a wonderful program here in San Francisco's Tenderloin.  More about them at http://www.sfcityimpact.com
 
We have written here often about The Jubilee Project because we really like their work.  Get to know more about them at http://jubileeproject.org/ - oh and by the way, Jeremy Lin has worked with them before.  Another very moving video called The Last Pick can be seen HERE.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Who is there

The 50th anniversary special of Doctor Who is expected to simulcast in 94 countries tomorrow, setting a Guinness Book World Record  for the largest simulcast for a drama in television history.  Doctor Who has already set some impressive records over the years (fifty years in itself is pretty impressive) - it is the longest running science fiction series ever on broadcast tv.
 
Doctor Who first appeared on BBC1 on Saturday, 23 November, 1963.  It has a cult following in the United States with conventions popping up across the country.  Today there are even all-day Doctor Who parties planned!  The very first broadcast though was not seen here back on that November day.  Most Americans were focused then on mourning the death of President John F Kennedy.
 
I'm not a Doctor Who expert (although I do know there have been eleven doctors and the police call booth is the method of transportation), but I am certain that this one tv show has made a huge difference in many lives.  It has brought people together.  It has been the subject of numerous conversations.  It has made people happy.  Making a difference can come in so many forms!

Monday, November 18, 2013

The Be O.N.E. Project

For years I have been telling you about Go Inspire Go and for months I have been telling you about their 50/50 campaign - 50 heroes in 50 states.  Well today their website has a new look and what's more, today the first video is premiered!
 
Please watch.  It, like all of their previous videos, is very moving.  

This one introduces us to Matthew Kaplan, 16, the founder of the The Be O.N.E. Project, which he created for middle school students in Arizona to stop bullying behavior before it even begins.  Matthew is indeed making a difference in this world and I am so delighted that GiG 50/50 is introducing him to us!  Click HERE to see the video.
 
As always you can find out more about Go Inspire Go at their website:  http://goinspirego.com/

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

No mugging zone

A friend of mine was mugged the other day. He wasn't badly hurt, but it could have been worse. I keep hearing about more and more muggings. What can be done? How do we respond to this?

Of course you cannot just put up signs tell people not to mug others and the police cannot be everywhere. Much of the work in these cases is up to us.

There are a number of things we can all do to make us less likely targets. Pay attention to your surroundings and avoid distractions. You become an easier target when do things like listen to music on headphones, talk on the phone, or anything else that takes your attention away from your surroundings. If you believe you are being followed, head quickly toward a populated area. Make noise, blow a whistle, or call for help. Don't be afraid to draw attention to yourself. Consider defending yourself IF you have the skills. Also, Travel with others whenever you can. Muggers are much more likely to go after individuals than groups.

Another thing: witnesses need to react. We are all in this world together. If you see someone being attacked, render assistance! You don't have to put yourself in danger. Call 911. Scream! Get others involved. Call for medical aide if it is needed.

Of course we can all work for a better world too where people care enough about each other that they don't go around attacking each other. We can always hope.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

REAL relief

The Philippine government has already revised the official death toll from Typhoon Haiyan several times, and sadly the final death toll is expected to be even higher.  The injured and the missing also comprise huge numbers.  There is so much destruction.  People are trying to help, and that is a good thing.  People are also trying to make a buck off of the suffering of others, and that is not a good thing.
 
We see scams all the time, but when they come in times of disaster, it is especially bad.  The people of the Philippines have already endured more than most folks could stand.  Now, they could use a hand - now they could use some REAL relief, not a moneymaking scheme for an unscrupulous person.
 
Some people have tried to start organizations to deal with this tragedy - some have even tried this legitimately.  Here's  the thing though:  there are already tons of organizations up and running that can and will bring relief.  Let's use those that are tried a true.  As an example, there is doctors without borders, the Red Cross, Red Crescent, Habitat for Humanity, UNICEF, and others.  Donate.  Volunteer.  Do it though through channels that are going to do actual good and bring real relief.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Listening in the night

It's been a while since I wrote here about San Francisco Night Ministry and since their work never stops it seems like a good time to mention them once again. (Of course you can always click on the link to the right and visit their website too).

San Francisco is not a wild twenty-four hour city with all night discos, theatres, night clubs and restaurants going strong all night seven days a week. Some might even say we are one of those places where the sidewalks get rolled up early. An awful lot of folks have no place to go from those sidewalks though and that is only part of the problem. There is also the need that people sometimes have after hours - after the regular services close for the day. Sometime people just need a friendly ear. San Francisco Night Ministry is available every single night of the year and not just with ministers walking the streets, but also staffing a nightly crisis line which you may telephone.

To serve others and to do it when the need is there, not just when it's convenient, is something the Night Ministry has done for a long time. They can always use a hand of course and this includes donating money or supporting their various fundraising events or simply volunteering to lend a hand. Sometimes they could use help in the office in the daytime too.

Would you like to help them? Why not join them as a Crisis Line Counselor? Check out their website at http://www.sfnightministry.org/ or contact Brother Jude at 415-861-7951 or by email at judehillssf@aol.com

Night Ministry sponsors an "Open Cathedral" ministry in the daytime - weekly non-denominational outdoor worship services for anyone who wishes to attend. Singing, praying, preaching and the Eucharist are offered, followed by opportunities for private conversation, prayer, blessing or the same counseling that is offered at night. Everyone is welcome to attend. Open Cathedral gatherings happen rain or shine. The Civic Center plaza one has been around the longest. They gather every Sunday at 2pm at Leavenworth and McAllister, near United Nations Plaza. Lunch is offered following the service, and worship attendance is not required to participate in the lunch.

How wonderful that San Francisco Night Ministry is here offering hope and comfort in the darkness of the night.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

trick or treat!

Carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns, telling scary stories, decorating, lighting bonfires, trick or treating, playing pranks, attending costume parties, apple bobbing, visiting haunted attractions, and watching horror movies - just some of the ways people observe Halloween.  What will you be doing?

I've lately heard people say "make sure it's a safe and sane celebration."  Well yeah!  Of course!  That should be the case in ALL we do!  Does it make safe to even consider the opposite?  Let's make this holiday unsafe?  Nope.  It just does not make sense.  Sadly though there are those who have made this an unsafe day and so well all need to keep our eyes and ears open.

Dressing up as you go about your business today can brighten the observance for you and for those you come in contact with.  A simple "Happy Halloween!" greeting is also a nice gesture.
 
Want to help others this day? Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF! Yes, it is normally a planned out program, but you can spend some time explaining what UNICEF is and why it's important and then "seed" the collection with a donation of your own.  The United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) works in more than 190 countries and territories to save and improve children's lives.  You can find out more about this program at http://www.unicef.org/support/14884.html

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Goodbye to The Hat Lady

San Francisco lost another bit of its magic on Monday when The Hat Lady, Ruth Dewson, was born to eternal life.  The longtime proprietor of Mrs Dewson's Hats had been in declining health for several years forcing her to close her beloved store last spring after nearly four decades. 
 
Former San Francisco Mayor  Willie Brown, Bruce Springsteen, and Samuel L. Jackson are among the famous who wore her hats, but the local ladies who still wear hats to church would shop there too.  Some customers thought she was cranky or even rude (in fact you can still read numerous bad yelp reviews), but Mrs Dewson was always sweet to me.  She would even have a twinkle in her eye.
 
There are good reviews of her old shop and of her, on yelp too.  There are other good things one can say.  Even though I was never a customer, I met her long ago and always enjoyed our chats.  That brilliant smile and the twinkle in her eyes always made my day.  She got things done too.  It was Ruth Dewson who organized the Western Addition Foundation for Girls.  She is credited with starting the Fillmore Jazz Festival.  She always spoke her mind.  At one point she considered a run for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors but concluded it just wasn't for her.
 
It was just a week ago that I saw her near one of my favorite Hayes Valley haunts and near the facility where she had been living.  With an attendant pushing her wheelchair she insisted on stopping after I shouted "Hey Hat Lady."  Her smile was a big as ever and she told me that she was doing better and might be able to leave the facility and live on her own again.  Alas, she got that one wrong.

Goodbye Hat Lady.  Thanks for making a difference!
 
Visitation will be on November 13th from 5-7pm at The Bryant Mortuary, 635 Fulton Street, San Francisco, 
Funeral services will be the following day, November 14th at 11am at
the Jones Memorial United Methodist Church, 1975 Post Street, San Francisco. 
Burial will be in San Joaquin National Cemetery, 32053 W. McCabe Road, Gustine, CA. 

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Marriage is about love

When I began writing this blog a few years ago, same-sex marriages were only legally permitted in five countries and on US state (Massachusetts).  A lot has happened since then!  A LOT!

Same-sex marriage is legally recognized nationwide in Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Uruguay.  Gay marriages can be performed in parts of the United States now besides Massachusetts. Right now, 38% of the US population – issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

Fourteen states (California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington), allow same-sex marriage, plus the District of Columbia, eight counties in New Mexico and eight Native American tribal jurisdictions.  It is expected that Hawaii will be added to that list very soon.

With all that good news, it is important to note that so much of the world and so much of this country still discriminates.  Marriage is about love, not gender and it needs to become available to ALL who wish to marry!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Sail away

The weather here in San Francisco has been incredible these last few weeks.  It's easy to close our eyes and get caught up in a vision of sailing to a storybook land of opportunity.   Our live are actually filled with opportunities. We don't always see them, but they are there. Sometimes we just have to relax and open our eyes and our hearts. The journey we are on differs from person to person of course but we all have opportunities. There is no need to give up.

Sometimes when telling my stories here, a quote comes to mind and I have one today that seems appropriate.  The great essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said "We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities."

Live life to its fullest.  Seize your opportunities!  Enjoy your voyage.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

A 50/50 Update

Go Inspire Go had this crazy idea to bring the stories of 50 people in 50 states to life in one really inspiring journey but it would take time and money.  We talked about it several times here back in May.  I was excited then.  I'm even more excited now!
 
After a pretty incredible fundraising effort, GiG's chief inspirator Toan Lam set out with the help of volunteers, to begin making those videos.  It may seem like a long time, but these things take time.  I've been in touch with Toan a little and know that they have already captured a few stories - still many more to record.  This is so worth waiting for though.  The stories they have already presented have all really touched me.  People have gotten more involved as a result of the videos.  It is truly heartwarming.  I have to admit that Toan is the most inspiring person I have ever met.  He makes me want to be a better person.
 
Slowly we will begin seeing these 50/50 stories.  I really don't know details.  I do know that you should be watching because this will be moving.  Of that I am certain.  Find out more about Go Inspire Go too.  Check out their website at http://goinspirego.com/ - those incredible 50/50 stories begin in just a few weeks.  They launch on Tuesday, November 19th.

Monday, October 21, 2013

this just in . . .

A few updates for you this morning.  I sometimes for get to go back and tell you how things turn out, so here is a little about several things since we last mentioned them here.

The Rainbow Honor Walk, celebrating the heroes and heroines of the LGBT community, which we wrote about a couple of times here, is going ahead with the installation of the initial plaques. In the online fundraiser for them, $5,600 was raised!

Eric I. Lu of the Jubilee Project is walking to raise funds down in Tustin, CA for the Alzheimer's Association and so far has raised $500. This is in addition to the wonderful video they made which in it first two weeks on youtube has had 16,000 views! Wow! Haven't seen it yet? Just click HERE. Also, if you want to support Eric in Saturday's walk-a-thon, click HERE.
 
Last Sunday I wrote here about the San Francisco LGBT Center.  An interesting thing happened - more people read that entry in the first 24 hours than anything I have written here before!
 
Oh and news of one more fundraiser that I have written about here - my friend Jason Villalobos is doing AIDS LifeCycle once again and has set a HUGE goal:  $10,000.  He will get there but only if everyone helps out.  So far Jason has raised $340.  His fundraising page is HERE.
 
Curious about something I wrote about a long time ago and how it might be doing now?  Ask and I'll try to find out.  Have a suggestion about someone or something you think we should talk about?  Let me hear from you about that too! 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Spirit Day 2013

I began talking here about bullying yesterday and I want to continue today because today was made in response, particularly to the bullying of lgbt teens.  In memory of the many young people who lost their lives to suicide, teenager Brittany McMillan encouraged her friends to wear purple on a day in October - a day that came to be known as Spirit Day. Getting involved is easy.  All you have to do is "go purple" today as we work to create a world in which LGBT teens are celebrated and accepted for who they are.
 
The It Gets Better campaign is also helpful to teens who are troubled about their gender identity or sexual orientation.  Families have disowned their kids and churches have excluded them.  Teasing and bullying and even physical assaults can take their toll on your piece of mind, but the reminder is that it does get better.  Yes, there are jerks in the world, but they are wrong.  ALL people are worthwhile and ALL people are loveable, regardless of sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation.
 
A young gentleman I know made a powerful video a few years ago that speaks to that.  Tears come to my eyes whenever I watch this, but Emmanuel Romero speaks the truth.   Click HERE to see his message.
 
Spread your own messages too.  Wearing purple is a good first step - a visible sign that there are supporters, but we really need to do more.  Spread the word that we are ALL loveable.  Spread the word that bullying has no place anywhere.  Together we really can make a difference!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

taking on the bullies



How many lives have been cut short due to bullying?  We don't need to know a number, because ANY life lost is too many!  Bullying should have no place in our schools or in our churches or in the lives of our kids.  We need to take on the bullies and put an end to their evil.
 
Tomorrow may will be wearing purple as the third annual Spirit Day takes place and again brings awareness to bullying.  Wearing purple is a wonderful sign of solidarity, but wee need to do much more.  We need to stand up and speak out.  We don't always see it, but bullying is very widespread.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2011, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.  Don't be surprised if you never heard anything from your own children.  Bullying often goes unreported.
 
Speak out means we need to convince our kids that it is important for them to report these things to us.  As adults, we need to tackle bullying head-on and let the bullies know that such behavior is not tolerated.  We need to stand up to the bullies.  We cannot tolerate such behavior and we cannot sit silent when our children are taking their own lives when they cannot bear the bullying any longer.

Spirit Day, which is tomorrow, is one way we can stand up and speak out all together.  People are urged to wear the color purple as a sign of solidarity.  (Purple is the "spirit" color on the rainbow flag).  We aim to create a world in which teenagers, especially lgbt teens,  are celebrated and accepted for who they are. Wearing the color is only part of it.  We need to become more involved and we need to speak up!
 

Monday, October 14, 2013

The Center

Living in San Francisco, I of course know of The San Francisco LGBT Center on Market Street (at Octavia).  I've actually been inside many times.  Yesterday though was different.  Yesterday was eye-opening.  I learned more about The Center in just a few hours than I had in its past ten years of existence.
 
Before yesterday, I thought of The Center as a venue; a place where lgbt events might be held.  I had assumed that the place was run mostly by volunteers with a couple of staff people coordinating their efforts.  I really had not thought much more about it.  In the past couple of years, I have realized that there is a board of directors and that a couple of my personal friends even serve on that board.  Yesterday, it was high time I found out more!
 
Find out I did!  There are a number of programs there that seem to really be making a huge difference in the lives of our lgbt community and yes, there are volunteers, but also a dedicated professional staff, led by Executive Director Rebecca Rolfe, to make these programs happen.  Economic development programs at The Center assist LGBT jobseekers in finding safe and secure employment and also help LGBT-run businesses flourish and grow.  Programs for Children, Youth and Family and be found there as well.  Health and Wellness programs focus not only on HIV/AIDS, but also things like general health access and sexual abuse or domestic abuse as it relates to lgbt people.  Wellness Days there feature certified professionals offering services such as nutritional counseling, massage, acupuncture; and even hypnotherapy.
 
Oh, it is a venue too.  So much happens there every week.  In addition to what I already have mentioned, twelve-step programs meet there.  Community groups rent space for special events.  There is also KidSpace for infants, toddlers, and youngsters just beginning school. There are even things for the older members of the lgbt community to participate in.
 
Yesterday I learned that this is indeed a busy space and that donations and volunteers do indeed help keep things moving.  There are so many levels for everyone to participate on that I am certain to be telling you more as I learn more and experience more myself.  In the meantime, you can find a ton of information about The Center at http://www.sfcenter.org/

Friday, October 11, 2013

I could really use a wish right now

You no doubt have heard of the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the wonderful wishes they have granted for children with life-threatening medical conditions.  There have been a number of kids who have had San Francisco themed wishes. 

An 18-year-old who had been battling lymphoma wanted to meet Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants a few years back. Not only did Timmy hang out with the young fan, he pitched a winning game and made a wish come true. 

Next month there will be a much more elaborate wish realized here in San Francisco.  A little five-year-old boy from Tulelake in Northern California has been fighting leukemia.  His wish though is to fight crime and that's pretty much what he will do when San Francisco turns into Gotham City for a day.  San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee will present the youngster with a key to the city in a special ceremony at City Hall after a day of crime fighting that will include the Joker, the Riddler, and Penguin.  Thousands of people have already signed up to participate in various ways.  This really sounds exciting.

Want to participate too?  Click HERE for more information or to donate or signup.  There are so many more heart-warming stories on the Make-A-Wish national homepage at http://wish.org/

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

making that Rainbow Walk happen

Back on September 13, nearly a month ago, I told you that San Francisco is preparing to install a Rainbow Honor Walk that recognizes LGBT notables. The individual plaques cost money of course and there will later be associated cost of upkeep.  Initially a lot (including installation labor) is being donated, but those plaques are the main cost. 

A fundraising campaign has been underway with a $5,000 goal. I said, why not make it $10,000? We can do it! We really can! Now we are down to the wire. The fundraiser ends in about 48 hours. We can still do it.  The leadership committee for this includes some of my favorite people, so I know this is going to be great.

Let people know about our past.  Help honor the lgbt greats who have paved the way for us.  Click HERE to donate.  These are the first 20 Honorees:

Jane Addams (1860-1935)
James Baldwin (1924-1987)
George Choy (1960-1993)
Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)
Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)
Keith Haring (1958-1990)
Harry Hay (1912-2002)
Sylvester James (1947-1988)
Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989)
Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)
Del Martin (1921-2008)
Yukio Mishima (1925-1970)
Bayard Rustin (1912-1987)
Randy Shilts (1951-1994)
Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)
Alan Turing (1912-1954)
Tom Waddell (1937-1987)
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)
Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

There's room for a lot more plaques. The Rainbow Honor Walk is going to have plaques on both sides of Market street from Castro to Gough Streets. This is such an exciting project and I do hope you can help!  EVERY donation is important.  Give a dollar or a hundred dollars!  Click HERE to go to the secure fundraising page.  Thanks for your help!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

some days the fingers don't work

Carpal tunnel syndrome (a condition in which there is excessive pressure on the median nerve) can cause great pain to someone who types a lot.  I might have a touch of that.  I'm also recovering from an infection on my left pinky.  Somehow this morning the combination doesn't make for a good start for this writing. 

There have been days when I have thought how much more personal this might be if I said it all via video conference or a simple audio clip.  Writing though is easier to deal with  - you can print it out and carry it with you.  Still, how much am I giving you if my fingers are sore and don't want to touch the keys?

Ah!  I get it!  Even if it doesn't feel like a good morning for typing, I still have at least shared something!

Monday, October 7, 2013

a cherished right

I'm not sure how many Americans think about this wonderful cherished right we have - voting.  So many parts of the world do not allow this great choice to be made by the people.  In the early US, women could not vote or run for office.

In 1948 the United Nations adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and Article 21 stated: "Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures."  This does not mean that voting is widespread all over the world though.
 
In the United States, voting is a right for all adult men and women, yet do most people cast a vote?  According to the Federal Elections Commission, the answer is no.  In 2012 only 53.6% of elegible voters turned out.  The numbers are much worse in years when there is no presidential election, like this year.  Yet there are still important matters on the ballot.

When we talk here about making a difference, here is one simple way we ALL can make a difference!  Register, and then vote!

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Breast cancer awareness

Breast Cancer Awareness Month, is organized each year by major breast cancer charities to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those who have been affected by breast cancer, including both victims and families. Breast cancer in men which is rare, is also generally overlooked, and so several male breast cancer advocacy groups have joined together to globally establish the third week of October as "Male Breast Cancer Awareness Week."

So with awareness comes early diagnosis which leads to a better chance of full recovery. How much awareness is there though? Are people getting checked regularly? Is there still self-examination? When was the last time you even thought about breast cancer? Did you know that the first noticeable symptom of breast cancer is typically a lump that feels different from the rest of your breast tissue, and that the vast majority of breast cancer cases are discovered when the woman feels a lump? This is why awareness is such a big thing!

Casual reading on a daily blog is not a good place to get all of your facts. I won't ever pretend that to be the case. Check out the American Cancer Society's website though. Talk to your doctor too.
 
For a good overall look at coping, I'd also recommend a book by former television reporter Betty Rollin called First You Cry. It was 39 years ago that the highly public diagnoses of First Lady Betty Ford and Happy Rockefeller, wife of vice-president-designate Nelson Rockefeller brought breast cancer into the spotlight. Ms Rollin was diagnosed a year later in 1975, but her book still holds up well today. It, and so many things since, are all a part of the awareness.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Three guys, a camera, and some amazing stories

The serious look on this man's face may have something to do with the serious subject: Alzheimer's disease. The picture comes from the latest video by The Jubilee Project. I have written about these three guys with a camera before and will likely tell you more about them in the future. Their story is incredible. The stories they tell are amazing and inspiring. If somehow you have missed by previous writing about Eddie Lee, Jason Y. Lee, and Eric I. Lu and this fantastic program they created, you can click HERE for one of my earlier blogs or even better, you can visit their website at http://jubileeproject.org
 
This latest video about Alzheimer's really touched me.  That's the idea of course.  They make videos to get things happening - volunteers, donations, general awareness - with a variety of causes.  They do it very well too.  I have been moved by each production.  I guess that's why I have written about them so many times!
 
I hope you will check out this video, Melody.  I hope you will also be inspired to learn more about Alzheimer's disease, one of the worst forms of dementia that gradually gets worse over time, affecting not only memory, but also thinking and personal behavior.  I hope you will even consider joining up with The Jubilee Project team at the Alzheimer's walk down in Tustin, CA next month.  The video is HERE and the fundraising page of the walk is HERE.
 
Thank you Jubilee Project for continuing to make a difference!  Your videos are inspiring and your good work associated with each one of them truly is making a difference.  Eddie, Jason, Eric - you guys are incredible!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

It is us

I came across this picture recently and thought about how well it says it all.  There are still those who think that the Earth is not experiencing any climate change - that there is no such thing as global warming, but those are the folks who need this warning the most.  Earth does not have a backup!  We need to protect our planet!
 
Just a few weeks ago I heard a song from a young Bay Area band called The Blondies.  It's an original song called "It's Us," written and performed by them (with a guest appearance on their video by Pacific Boychoir), acknowledging what mankind has done to the Earth, with the hope of inspiring some or all of us to be a part of the solution.  Click HERE to check out the video - very catchy tune.
 
Just like the title of the song says, it's us.  It's us who brought our planet to the state it is in, but it is also us who can do something about it. 
 
Now let me be clear.  I don't think that Earth is going to cease to exist.  I think the planet will likely continue on and someday evolve into a place where new life forms may be able to exist.  Remember the ages ahead of us?  Remember the dinosaurs?  Remember the ice age?  Earth has gone through a lot and can most likely take a lot more, but can it continue to sustain human life?  Not at the rate we are going!  That is the issue.  That is why we need to wakeup and do something.  So who is with me?

Monday, September 23, 2013

Homeless party at cancelled wedding

There are stories all the time that restore your faith in others and truly warm your heart and this is one of those stories to be sure.  An engaged couple called off their planned nuptials, which ordinarily would have been a sad time, but there was partying nevertheless when the bride's parents got ahold of Hosea Feed the Hungry in Atlanta, GA and turned the reception they had planned into the Fowler Family Celebration of Love.   Some 200 people were in the process and the family is working to do it all again in years to come!
 
Now Hosea Feed the Hungry is a pretty special organization to begin with.  They're on the other coast and I only know of them from news accounts and from their website (http://4hosea.org/) but you can see they do some marvelous work!  Carol and Willie Fowler are the real heroes though.  What a kind and generous act on their part to turn their family's own disappointment into such a special day for those less fortunate.
 
This is one of those heartwarming stories that I love coming across.  May their generosity be an inspiration to others!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Needle exchange

In writing about a local organization yesterday, I mentioned that one of their programs was a needle exchange.  A steaming hot email came my way as a result and the question asked (cutting out all the expletives) was how could I support helping drug addicts.  The short answer is that it costs much less to supply a clean syringe than to treat someone for HIV.
 
Needle exchange programs are not new, and there is reliable information that shows that they are helping to prevent the transmission of blood borne diseases such as HIV and Hepatitis C.  The programs are working.  They also can help engage drug users in mental health or in substance abuse treatments - even those individuals with a history of refusing such treatments.
 
Click HERE for a few related facts you might find interesting.  Needle exchange programs save lives.  Before you condemn them, check the facts!

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Everyone deserves to be healthy

There are so many fine organizations that I support, but probably my favorite is the Asian and Pacific Islander Wellness Center here in San Francisco.  It's been a long time since I have written about them here, so let me begin with the basics.  API Wellness, located at 730 Polk Street, is the oldest non-profit HIV/AIDS services organization in North America targeting Asian & Pacific Islander communities. Their core belief is that "everyone deserves to be healthy and needs access to the highest quality health care" and their mission is to "transform lives by advancing health, wellness, and equality."  They provide free and confidential HIV testing and treatment, mental health and substance abuse counseling, free needle exchange, numerous health programs, and so much more.
 
When I told you about my participation in AIDS Walk San Francisco this summer (which I do every year), I don't know if I mentioned that I had the great joy of being a part of the API Wellness team.  The money we raised then though was just a drop in the bucket compared to the amount needed to provide the many programs.  Government and foundation grants make up the largest part of them income, but the donations of individuals is a huge help.  Volunteering for the organization helps a lot too!
 
I am hearing about more and more new programs every day - seriously.  One good way to find out more it to visit their website at http://www.apiwellness.org  - also, hear some stories.  Click HERE for a powerful video that will introduce you to the Banyan Tree Project.  More on that at http://www.banyantreeproject.org/ 

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Beautiful San Francisco

When you think of the cable cars, Coit Tower, Pier 39, the Golden Gate Bridge, Chinatown, and the Cliff House, it's easy to picture the beauty of San Francisco in your mind, but the beauty doesn't end with a few tourist attractions.  This wonderful city is visually beautiful from every angle.  There are colorful houses and colorful flowers.  There are breathtaking vistas and unique buildings and streets. 

San Francisco is also beautiful because of what it stands for.  This is a place with a heart.  This is a place where equality is a reality. This is a place where people actually work together. Oh yeah and if you’re a foodie, welcome to heaven!  Yes, it is expensive, but it is certainly worth it!
 
But what about the other beautiful places on earth?  Oh my goodness!  San Francisco isn't the only one!  I happen to live here, but this is NOT about me.  If you are lucky enough to have discovered the beauty of where you live, congratulations!  Yes, there is beauty EVERYWHERE.  All we have to do is open our eyes.  All we have to do is look at the good.  Too often we focus on the bad - what's wrong with this place?  If we turn our thinking to a more positive direction we will likely feel more like being involved and that can really make a difference!