Friday, June 23, 2017

Can I interest you in a donut?

June is the month for LGBTQ Pride, largely because that was the month of the Stonewall Riots in Greenwich Village in New York.  Most know about The Stonewall Inn and the history behind it, but can I interest you in a donut?  What many claim was the first lgbtq uprising in the United States occurred ten years before Stonewall at Cooper Donuts in Los Angeles.

How about the Dewey’s Lunch Counter sit-in back in Philadelphia in 1965? That too was before Stonewall. The Compton's Cafeteria Riot occurred the following year in the Tenderloin district of San Francisco.  Again before Stonewall, yet that is the one most folks know about.  There have been other incidents where the lgbtq community stood up and fought back - some famous and some not as well known.

The parades and marches and celebrations during Pride Month every year (and in some places at other times) remember our history and bring us together to see that we continue down the path of equality, fairness, and justice.  This is the weekend of some of the largest celebrations and many of you may be attending a parade.  One of my favorite events every year is the TransMarch in San Francisco and today is the day.  All the details are at including pictures from past events.  The two day celebration in San Francisco is Saturday and Sunday with the annual parade taking place on Sunday morning.  Go to for details of that.  It's a huge event in New York City of course and tell you all you need to know.  Big things have been going on all month in Toronto and this weekend wraps it all up with their parade on Sunday.  All you need to know about them is at

Of course there is still more of Pride Month, and we'll continue telling you about it here.  Do feel free to share some information about your neck-of-the-woods in the comments section below!  If you aren't able to attend any of them, at least at a donut in remembrance of the LA uprising at Cooper Donuts.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Adam's pictures

The Pride Celebrations each June, the rainbow flag, and The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt are all things that make a visible difference.  Who doesn't recognize panels of The Quilt when you see them, or the rainbow flag?  Well, the NoH8 Campaign is another example.  Photographer Adam Bouska created this visual program along with partner Jeff Parshley, back in 2009 in response to California's Proposition 8, the ballot proposition opposing same-sex marriage.

Openly gay Bouska has really made a difference taking pictures of thousands in the past eight years.  I remember seeing a friend at work with the NoH8 on his cheek.  It made an immediate impact on me.  There is something very empowering seeing your favorite celebrities, including many non-gay people, in these poses with the duct tape and the NoH8 lettering. 

Our lgbtq community is fortunate to have so many great leaders.  There just aren't enough days in the month to mention everyone, but I encourage you to mention some others for me, using the comments section below.

If you want to keep up with Adam Bouska's NoH8 pictures, check out their website at - you can donate money to this great campaign through their website too.  (I love looking through all the pictures).  Adam makes a difference in many other ways as well.  I really appreciate all of his positive and encouraging tweets.  You can keep up with him at his website

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Lance makes a difference every day

Who hasn't heard of Lance Bass?  He's a pop singer, a dancer, actor, producer, radio and tv personality, author, and activist. He might not have started out to be all those things, but over time, they have developed.  He is also making a huge difference for the lgbtq community.

By being openly gay, Lance is another person showing the world that gay people want the same things as everyone else:  respect, equality, and freedom from hate.  Every time he says "my husband and I," he is making a difference.  The wedding of Lance and his spouse Michael Turchin (pictured above), back in 2014 was recorded and shown on cable tv.  Sometimes just being yourself is all it takes.

Now I have spoken many times about the importance of being open and honest, and it is my hope that one day closets will again be only for clothing, but let me be very clear.  I do not wish to see anyone in danger.  There are still times when some need to remain in the closet for their own safety, and that should be respected.

So much talent in this guy!  Seriously.  I love his talk show appearances.  He always speaks his mind.  Glad he has several regular gigs and was happy to just see him with best friend Joey Fatone on

$100,000 Pyramid.

I've seen Lance at a couple of different lgbtq events, but he is also making a difference in other areas as well.  He's done telethons for various causes, been an active supporter for animal rights, and is also involved with the Environmental Media Association.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

We need to know our history

Hearing a story this week about someone who wasn't quite sure who Marsha P. Johnson was, I knew I had to write something here.  (A random person on the street had described her to a friend of mine saying "Oh! Is she the one who threw the first bottle at Stonehenge?"  Um.  No).

Marsha P. Johnson was an activist in New York City from the 60s to the 90s. Co-founder of the Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries, Marsha was also a visible presence at protests and marches and at the same time was a mother figure to young trans women. Facing ridicule, bullying, and harassment, Marsha did not yield from being her true self, and in doing so made a huge difference. (The middle initial P, according to her was Pay it No Mind). 

Many of us are aware of those who make a difference in the town where we live, but folks in other places do things that lead to a better life for us all.  Whether you are from New Jersey where Marsha was born, New York where she became known, or the other side of the earth, it's important to know that things she did, made a difference. 

Although the police report her death as suicide, there is much evidence to suggest that her death was as a result of a hate crime.  As part of her legacy, we should all pledge to do everything possible to end the plague of hate crimes against our trans sisters and brothers.

Monday, June 19, 2017

The man behind the Quilt

If you know about The NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt, the man you can thank for it is Cleve Jones.  Along with Marcus Conant, Frank Jacobson and Richard Keller, Jones also created the Kaposi's Sarcoma Research and Education Foundation, which later became the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. The tv program you enjoyed showing lgbtq history (When We Rise), was based on a book by Jones "When We Rise: My Life in the Movement."

Close friends over the years with the late rainbow flag creator Gilbert Baker, Cleve Jones might not be a name you recognize and his face might not be familiar, but he has been an lgbtq and HIV activist most of his life.  The stories he has are a powerful picture of how far we have come.  Cleve Jones knew Harvey Milk, and the seeds of activism were probably planted back then.  He has been a giant in the lgbtq community ever since.  In addition, Cleve has been a Community and Political Coordinator with a major hospitality workers’ labor union for the past twelve years.

With over 48,000 3’ x 6’ panels, the story of The Quilt, is a fascinating one.  You can learn more about it, and even donate in support, at

Cleve Jones is not someone I know well - I used to see him at events or walking around the neighborhood, but I certainly respect and admire all he has done, and so am pleased to mention him here during Pride Month.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Even small towns have gay people

Making a difference doesn't mean you have to be highly visible or become famous.  After living most of my life in large cities, I know live in a relatively small town where two woman have done something really important.  As many of you know, I don't write here about private citizens, except in cases where there has already been publicity, so I won't mention these ladies by name, but they have done a tremendous service to the lgbt community here in this part of Arizona.

In large cities, it's easier to meet other lgbt folks than in small towns.  Networking is important though, so this lesbian couple began an internet presence which they administer and where dozens have now connected to share common interests and talk about lgbt issues.  That is a huge thing for folks who may feel isolated.  Growing up gay and thinking you are all alone can be difficult, but feeling alone can be just as hard when you are an adult.
(This by the way is something folks can do pretty much anywhere using facebook or yahoo or various other platforms.  Once you start a group, invite those you know, and suggest that each of them send out invitations as well.  You'd be surprised how easy this can be).

Now the couple who began this group, didn't leave it just as an online resource.  They have arranged potluck summers, a holiday party, and even a picnic in the park.  They also share lgbt news with the group and urge the others to do the same.

The gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender residents of the area may have felt all alone in the past, but now there is a connection thanks to two women who cared - two women who made a difference.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Randy was first

Back in the late 70s, when I lived in San Francisco, I met a television reporter named Randy Shilts.  A major magazine in a brief mention, said he was the first openly gay television news reporter.  I remember saying to him, "I've always been openly gay, so what made you the first?"  Regardless of who was actually first, Randy was covering things that nobody else was. 

After leaving the public tv station where he had been working, Randy went on to the major local newspaper, where he again paid more attention to lgbt issues, than any other reporter.  Books followed.  He gave us only three, but three important ones:  Conduct Unbecoming: Gays and Lesbians in the US Military, And the Band Played On: Politics, People, and the AIDS Epidemic, and The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk.

He wanted to write more.  Homosexuality in the Roman Catholic Church was to have been examined in his next book, but AIDS claimed his life at the young age of 42, before he was able to get to that.

I've written here about Randy Shilts before, and you may think it odd that I bring him up so much.  We knew each other, but never became close.  Randy made a difference though.  He brought us news we needed to hear.  He talked about HIV/AIDS when nobody else was.  Although there is some controversy, especially when he called for the closure of gay bathhouses, Randy continued to dig up the facts and report them to us.  He might not be recognized by everyone, but I am thrilled that he was one of the first to receive a plaque on San Francisco's Rainbow Honor Walk.

Thanks for the reports and the books Randy.  Thanks for making a difference!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017


You cannot talk about lgbtq heroes without mentioning this lady, Phyllis Lyon.  A former journalist, Phyllis met another incredible woman, Del Martin some 64 years ago, and together they made a lot of history.

The two women were active in the National Organization for Women, Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club (San Francisco), and Old Lesbians Organizing for Change.  They also formed the Council on Religion and the Homosexual.  With six other gay women, they formed the Daughters of Bilitis way back in 1955.  This was way before equal rights were being talked about anywhere and it was the first national lesbian organization in the US.

Phyllis spent over fifty years with Del, and then in 2004, they married when San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  Six months later that marriage was voided by the California Supreme Court but there was more legal fighting to come.  That same court legalized same-sex marriage four years later, and in the first same-sex wedding to take place in San Francisco after that ruling, Phyllis and Del again exchanged vows.  Sadly, Del passed away two months later.

Phyllis Lyon has continued the fight.  Proposition 8 took away same-sex marriage for a short time, but the courts finally made same-sex marriage legal again in California and I will always remember that day.  I was in the San Francisco City Hall rotunda awaiting the announcement with a huge crowd gathered, and down the grand staircase came Phyllis Lyon with the Lt Governor on one arm and the Mayor of San Francisco on the other.  I felt sad that her wife couldn't have been there with her.

This fall Phyllis turns 93.  I'll be she is a bit amazed at how much progress we have made in her lifetime, much of which came about thanks to her dedicated work.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

It's all about the music

It's been said that gay people only like to party and have sex. WRONG!  The lgbtq community is as varied as any group, and generalities are certainly not going to work here, but for many there was a time when the music and the clubs were terribly important.  As equality slowly becomes the norm, the party atmosphere isn't as important.

There was certainly a time when you had to hid if you were gay.  (In some places sadly, that is still true).  Going to gay bars and clubs was a release, a way to unwind.  It was also where you could meet other lgbtq people.  This was important since you certainly couldn't be that open in school or at work.  Just was the clubs being important for socializing, so was the music.  In keeping with Pride month, I put together a top 25 list of lgbtq anthems -- 25: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man After Midnight) - Abba, 24: Same Love - Macklemore and Ryan Lewis, 23: Over the Rainbow - Judy Garland, 22: Ice Cream Truck - Cazwell, 21: Believe - Cher, 20: The Night I Fell in Love - Pet Shop Boys, 19: If I Had You - Adam Lambert, 18: Don't Leave Me This Way - Thelma Houston, 17: You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real) - Sylvester, 16: True Trans Soul Rebel - Against Me, 15: Tainted Love - Imelda May, 14: Born this Way - Lady Gaga, 13: No More Tears - Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer, 12: Express Yourself - Madonna, 11: True Colors - Cindi Lauper, 10: Take Me Or Leave Me - Rent, 9: It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls, 8: Constant Craving - kd lang, 7: YMCA - The Village People, and a favorite of mine 6: Cowboys Are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other - Willie Nelson.  The top five -- 5: Your Song - Elton John, 4: I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor, 3: I Am What I Am - John Barrowman, 2: Raise Your Glass - Pink, and 1: I’m Coming Out - Diana Ross.

Now while you spend your day humming these tunes, remember that it really isn't all about the music.  There are important matters in life and those same things are true for the lgbtq community, but these songs (and so many others) were an outlet in days when the closet was a necessity for so many.

Monday, June 12, 2017

It happened in Orlando

It happened in Orlando, Florida.  It could have been anywhere.  It happened at the Pulse nightclub there.  It happened one year ago today - an act of hate claiming 49 innocent lives.  There were another 53 people injured.  It was the deadliest mass shooting in modern US history.  It happened, and we should learn from it.  It happened and we should never forget.

Since that horrible night a year ago, how much have we done to see that violence like this never again happens?  How many have stood up and said "Enough!"  How many have walked in solidarity with their lgbtq sisters and brothers and taken a stand against hate?

One year later, is the massacre in Orlando still on people's minds?  One year ago do you remember much about that night?  One year later do you care about this hateful act?  I wrote here day after day last year, because I thought it was important.  I still think it is so important that at the very top of my blog page, there is a constant reminder of that night in Orlando.  Remember that night.

Remember each of the people too.  These were human beings.  Their lives were snatched from them by hate.  Remember their names.  Remember Stanley Almodovar III, Amanda Alvear, Oscar A Aracena-Montero, Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, Antonio Davon Brown, Darryl Roman Burt II, Angel L. Candelario-Padro, Juan Chevez-Martinez, Luis Daniel Conde, Cory James Connell, Tevin Eugene Crosby, Deonka Deidra Drayton, Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, Leroy Valentin Fernandez, Mercedez Marisol Flores, Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, Juan Ramon Guerrero, Paul Terrell Henry, Frank Hernandez, Miguel Angel Honorato, Javier Jorge-Reyes, Jason Benjamin Josaphat, Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, Christopher Andrew Leinonen, Alejandro Barrios Martinez, Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, Kimberly Morris, Akyra Monet Murray, Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, Joel Rayon Paniagua, Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, Enrique L. Rios, Jr., Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, Edward Sotomayor Jr., Shane Evan Tomlinson, Martin Benitez Torres, Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, Luis S. Vielma, Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, Jerald Arthur Wright.

Yesterday's Resist March and Equality March was a good step, but we need to do more.  There have been some backward steps in the past months, and we can't afford that.  We should all stand up together and say no to hate - ALL hate.  It happened before.  It can happen again.  Let's say no more!  Let us resist the negativity and remind everyone of the power of love!  Those 49 in Orlando had their lived cut short.  Let us hold them on our hearts, and honor them with action.

Friday, June 9, 2017

Equality March for Unity and Pride

There are so many special events tied to LGBT Pride Month, but a very important one comes up this Sunday and it's happening worldwide.  The Equality March for Unity and Pride is a truly grassroots movement with small and large marches springing up all over, mobilizing the diverse LGBTQ communities to stand up against hate and to continue demanding full equality for everyone.

The co-chairs for this huge undertaking are Anika Simpson, Ashley Smith, Catalina Velasquez, David Bruinooge, Elle Hearns, José L. Plaza, Lydia X. Z. Brown, Lynnette McFadzen, Nicole Murray Ramirez, Sean Coleman, Sue Doster, and Thomas Tonatiuh Lopez.  Of course there are organizers in so many communities, it would be impossible to list them all. 

The times vary and not every single city has an event.  Click HERE to find information for any events close to you, and then go and join in.  Nothing happening in your town?  Head out to the nearest place where there is an Equality March, or organize something in your city yourself.  (Check for necessary permits.  A simple gathering in a park or on private property is one of the simplest things to organize).  Let people know about it via facebook and twitter.  For more information about organizing and to add your event to the list, click HERE.

The huge event in Washington, DC begins at 17th St NW and I St NW at 10am on June 11th.  To register for that one, click HERE.  It's always energizing to be at a Washington march!

I hope many of you will be able to participate in Equality March this Sunday!  Oh and there are also shirts available at

Thursday, June 8, 2017


This 23-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years.  His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed.   Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation.  Justin was one of those who was harassed.  Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone. 

Now, I've not actually met Justin, but I sure would like to.  He gives back and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work.  You may have seen him on tv or read one of numerous articles about him, but during Pride Month, I wanted to mention him here as well.

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Gilbert's Rainbow

Gilbert Baker has been written about before in this blog.  He certainly made a difference in this world.  Back in April when he passed away, not only did I write about him, but his passing was reported on the tv network newscasts.  The rainbow flag that he created gives hope to people all around the world!

Gilbert probably would have chuckled at the birthday remembrance he received a few days ago from Google.  The Google Doodle honoring him that they released, was colorful and clever.

More tributes are to come.  Tomorrow night, June 8th there will be a Celebration of Life from 7pm to 8:30 at the Castro Theatre in San Francisco, with a reception to follow.  The other coast, where Gilbert spent his last years, takes over next week, with a Gilbert Baker Memorial Rally and March on Christopher Street at Stonewall in New York City.  That will be on Wednesday, June 14th from 6 to 9pm.  The Mayor of Key West, Florida has proclaimed the next day, June 15th to be Gilbert Baker Day in Key West.

It was a joy for me to work with Gilbert Baker a number of years ago, and I will always be grateful for this man who really gave back and made a difference.  With every waving rainbow flag, take a moment, and think of Gilbert.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

all kinds of heroes

The Pride Celebrations of the LGBT communities all around the world are happy and joyous, in part - but they are also rallies for justice and continuations of the fight for equality.  Along the way there have been many heroes.  In this blog, I write about making a difference, and during Pride Month this year I am zooming on the lgbt community all month.  There have been numerous leaders over the years, a couple of whom I have already mentioned here.  Not all of the lgbt heroes identify as lgbt.  There are numerous non-gay lgbt allies who have made an incredible difference.

These days we know more and more names because folks are less fearful of the gay, bisexual, or transgender label.  Many celebrities are coming out, and that in itself makes a difference, with more visibility.  More people are coming out to family and friends too.  Think for a moment.  How many people do you know who are lgbt?

The heroes?  Well there are certainly too many to write about in just one short month, but they include Cleve Jones, Phyllis Lyon, Dan Choi, Harvey Milk, Gavin Newsom, Dustin Lance Black, Barbara Gittings, Neil Giuliano, Gilbert Baker, and Vic Basile. Also Troy Perry, Bayard Rustin, Adam Bouska, José Sarria, Chaz Bono, Blake Brockington, Ryan Cassata, Dan Savage, and Cecilia Chung.  The list can go on and on, and hopefully more and more folks will come forward and fight for what is right - equality for all.
Please do feel free to share your lgbt Pride stories.  What is the most moving experience you have ever had.  Who are your heroes?

Monday, June 5, 2017

Thanks Ellen

Just over a month ago, we celebrated "The Puppy Episode" of Ellen, the groundbreaking sitcom on abc-tv.  I have written here a number of time about its star Ellen DeGeneres, who inspired me to begin writing a daily kindness blog and who put a face on the lgbt community.  Yes there had been other out lgbt celebrities, but Ellen was the girl-next-door and showed the world that gay people are just...well, just people.

Writing here about lgbt topics during the LGBT Pride Month, I just had to say something about Ellen once again.  She's one of my heroes!  I have actually enjoyed her since the very first time I saw her with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show, way back in the 80s, but now I don't just love her as a performer, I admire and respect all that she does for the the lgbt community and for the world.

Her mom, Betty DeGeneres is pretty great too.  I had the great privilege of meeting Betty, and I hope to someday meet Ellen too.  Betty is an active member of Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project.  She authored two books about Ellen's coming out and their relationship: Love, Ellen: A Mother Daughter Journey and Just a Mom.

Every single time Ellen says "my wife," I smile.  It wasn't that long ago when we simply wouldn't hear a woman refer to another woman as her wife, even if they were gay.  It just wasn't said.  On her talk show, Ellen entertains, but she is quick to hit the political button when necessary and she won't shy away from lgbt issues.

One more things though - Ellen is a gay woman who has done so much for the lgbt community, but she does wonderful things for every community.  The people she honors on her program are all kinds of neighborhood heroes, and that Ellen showcases these individuals, I think makes her even more of a hero.  Thanks Ellen!

Friday, June 2, 2017


How appropriate it is that AIDS LifeCycle takes place during LGBT Pride Month and that Jason Villalobos is there on his bike once again, making the trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I first met Jason back in 2009 when he made an impassioned speech at an Save ADAP (AIDS Drug Assistance Program) event on the steps of San Francisco City Hall. Since then I have had the great pleasure f getting to know him and to see close up his dedication to HIV/AIDS awareness and advocacy and other important lgbt issues. I learned instantly that Jason's heart is the biggest of anyone you will ever meet. I know this blog is not about me, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention that he cares so much about people, that he called me just this week, because he was concerned about me.

As you read this, Jason has probably packed and is ready to head up to the Cow Palace in Daly City to hop on his bike and do what I believe is his seventh AIDS Walk.  It is his inspiration that keeps me writing this blog and his determination that gets me out to AIDS Walk each summer to do my little bit in this fight for a cure.  I'm thrilled that he made his goal this year.  You can push his total even higher too - just click HERE to donate.

I'm one of the lucky ones who has been able to spend time with many different lgbt heroes.  Many of those lgbt superstars are non-gay too - yes, our allies can make a huge difference.  Each person has contributed in different ways.  We still have a long way to go though.  During his inaugural address on January 21, 2013, President Barack Obama said "Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well." 

Jason Villalobos shines as a bright light, not only for HIV/AIDS education and awareness, but in the struggle for all lgbt people to be treated equally.  Jason is my first Pride Month hero, and as I said yesterday, I will be writing about lgbt matters all month long, because lgbt matters!

Thursday, June 1, 2017

The Whole Month

Looking back, I discovered that the word "gay" or "lgbt" comes up in many of my blog entries, but certainly not all of them.  When I began this many years ago, Pam Spaulding and a number of others, regularly blogged about lgbt issues, and I wanted to speak here more generally about folks making a difference.  This month though, for the first time, I am going to change my focus and write something connected to lgbt matters each day.  June is lgbt Pride Month, and so it seems like an appropriate thing to do.  As always, your comments below are most welcome.

I might reprint a few of my previous entries - the Herb Caen one and another about Harvey Milk come to mind, and I might update on some lgbt news, but in keeping with our theme, I really want to focus on some heroes.  So, while I welcome your comments, I hope for some suggestions too.

I suspect that someone will object to an all-lgbt month here in this space, but to that I will say the same thing I wrote here back on July 1, 2013:  "Unfortunately there are a lot of folks who don't get it.  When people complain about so much coverage of 'gay news' they forget that what there is the rest of the time is coverage of everything else.  LGBT people are still discriminated against more than any other group (especially the transgender part of that) and until that discrimination is gone, a light most shine into that darkness."

Get ready for a whole month of light!