Cherish

"Now that the holidays are over" said the announcer on tv - WAIT!  STOP!  Holidays over?!  What is he talking about?  Christmas only began yesterday and runs through January 5th.  Today is also the very first day of Kwanzaa and New Year's isn't until next weekend.  I wonder what holidays this guy was talking about!

 

In our rushed lives, we seem to do more planning than celebrating.  It's not uncommon to see Christmas merchandise out at retail stores as early as September.  Folks even seem to decorate their houses earlier and earlier, but then it all seems to come down on December 25th, or earlier!  After hours preparing a nice beef brisket, you wouldn't eat just one slice and throw the rest away! Why do that with Christmas?  I know you wouldn't pop open a bottle of champagne and then have but one glass before throwing out the rest of the bottle!  My family always celebrated the twelve days of Christmas, and I continue the tradition.

 

The race to just get it over with doesn't have to be the way we do things.  Enjoy the holidays - ALL of them.  Enjoy every moment.  Include your coworkers and your friends and your family and even strangers on the street!  Oh and I will never be offended if you wish me a happy Hanukkah, even though I am not Jewish, or a happy or merry holiday of your choosing.  Cherish the time.  No need to rush!

On the first day of Christmas

Despite what many stores will tell you, Christmas doesn't end today.  No, today is actually the first day of Christmas.  In this twelve day celebration I do hope you will take a moment to think about the good things in our lives and the good you can bring to others.  We could even get going and finally extend the spirit of Christmas to every single day of our lives!

The twelve days extend into the new year of course, and how wonderful it will be to start 2023 with this celebration!  Think that the spirit of Christmas is gone? Have faith in humanity.  Believe that there is good and work to make sure that good continues, not just for the twelve days of Christmas, but throughout the year.

 

On this first day of Christmas I won't give you a partridge in a pear tree, but I will give you my hope that every single one of us will be inspired to make a difference in the world and I wish you much joy and peace!

how do you say thank you?

How many ways are there to say thank you?  I'm not talking about the many different languages, although putting together a nice graphic with those two words as they are said in other tongues can be a lot of fun and I'm sure would be pleasing to the person you are thanking.  What else though?  What can you do to convey that you are actually grateful for that something you have received?

 

We give thanks at different times for different things.  Sometimes a polite courtesy is almost taken for granted, but when somebody hold the door open for you or pulls out your chair or refills your water glass, say thank you.  When you receive a present or money, then most certainly thanks should be offered.  How about when you ask for someone to help you with a project?  Let me just say there is never a bad time to offer thanks. 

 

You are an awesome caring person and I'm sure you want folks to know you appreciate those things they do on your behalf.  Let it be known then! Let them see your happy dance!  Notes are always nice too.  I know many have fallen away from the habit of writing personal notes, but the most awesome people I know still write them and it means a lot.  I was just talking about this to a group of people, and every one of them agreed.

I know we can get back in the habit.  Say thanks in the way that works best for the particular occasion but say it!  I have so many reasons personally for saying it today.  That breakfast burrito I ate a little while ago and someone special made it happen.  Thanks!

From a New York taxi driver

I have no idea who wrote this - I found it a long time ago on the internet and have seen it posted several times.  I've even shared it here before.  It's the kind of "feel good" story that I really like and again, these are not my words, but I wanted to share this great story with all of you once again.

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked..

'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.

They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

9-8-8

Loneliness and other worries the holidays bring, widespread racism, health issues including COVID-19, and a number of other factors have brought a lot of people to the end. We have seen it in the news far too many times, often involving beloved performers.  The dark thoughts around ending one's life don't get enough attention until it is too late. We should talk about it though. Lives can be saved. The national hotline in the US is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 988. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who does, use this number.

Of course, a telephone number doesn't solve everything. I am not just talking about those in crisis. We ALL need to have a better understanding of suicide and we ALL need to value every human life. We need to care more. 

Years ago in Nashville, I volunteered at a suicide prevention hotline, and each day we saw results. Each day we helped people in crisis. A wonderful nurse I know where I live now, has been a leader here in suicide awareness.  I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you of many cases where intervention has saved lives and I urge you to learn a few basic things. The first thing is you are not alone!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the highest suicide rate is among adults between 45 and 64 years of age, and the second highest rate is persons 85 years or older. That may be surprising, because we so often hear about youth suicides, but elders take their own lives far more often.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. They are committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.  As they help save lives, let us help them by spreading the word.  The number to call is 988.

All lives are precious, and nobody should feel that things are hopeless or that they are all alone. If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. I urge everyone to become better informed too. We should all understand why people take their lives and how this can be avoided. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent place to begin. Check out their website at https://afsp.org/

Happy holidays?

It seems to me that an awful lot of folks are complaining about the greeting "Happy holidays!" But, why? I hear people say that this is taking the place of "Merry Christmas," but actually that isn't true. Wishes for specific holidays are nice, but the all-encompassing "happy holidays" seems so much more comprehensive.

We have already observed Saint Nicholas Day and Pearl Harbor Day. At sunset in 4 days the eight-day celebration of Hanukkah.comes up.  There is also Advent, Saturnalia, Festivus, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve. Oh, and that's just a partial list. Don't celebrate them all? No problem! Very few people actually observe every single holiday, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. When you say "happy holidays" to someone, you are hoping they enjoy the days that they do commemorate.

Midway through this month, I have been thinking a lot about various holiday traditions. It's amazing how varied things like Santa or a wreath or even a menorah can be from one family to another or from one part of the world to another. Varied, and wonderful too! Think of how much extra joy there can be with so many different traditions and so many different holidays. Enjoy!

archair activist

Someone called me an "armchair activist" the other day.  "All you do is sit in front of your computer."  Well, since this blog supposedly is NOT about me, I won't protest too much.  Believe me, there are many things that I do, but I don't want to list all of my shortcomings here. 

 

An armchair activist though has a nice ring to it.  It might not have been meant as a compliment, but to me, any activism is good.  It's all about getting involved and making a difference.  Some people might not be physically able to climb up and down stairs or walk a picket line or march in a procession up a crowded street.  For some people sitting in front of a computer is a big deal and they can certainly connect with as many people, perhaps more, in that way.

 

Making positive changes happens in a variety of ways.  We can write letters or send emails or even write a blog to get our point of view across.  Sometimes we might even be successful.  Sometimes we might even do it enough so that someone refers to us as an armchair activist!

Good old Saint Nick

Yes indeed. There certainly was a Saint Nicholas. It's not like the Santa Claus that most Americans know and associate with Christmas. Also called Nikolaos of Myra, the 4th-century Christian saint whom we celebrate tomorrow was a bishop of the church and also a giver of presents. Well in his case it was usually coins, but there are a lot of customs that grew in his memory.

Now most of us in the US think of Saint Nick and Christmas, but in many parts of the world, there is a separate celebration today.  Americans who keep the feast today most likely think of it only as a church commemoration.

Good reason for remembering him. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of children, students, archers, sailors, pawnbrokers, pharmacists, merchants, repentant thieves, and various churches, institutions, cities, and countries. Church-goers may find it interesting that he was one of the bishops who signed the Nicene Creed. I'm not certain why but he is also the patron of broadcasters.

There are numerous legends surrounding him including my favorite one about three theological students, traveling on their way to study in Athens. In the tale, a wicked innkeeper robbed and murdered the students, hiding their bodies in a large pickling tub. Bishop Nicholas it seems was traveling along the same route and stopped at the very same inn. While sleeping, he dreamt of the crime, got up, and called out to the innkeeper. As Nicholas prayed to God, the three students were restored to life and wholeness.

His name in Dutch, Sinterklaas, is where we got the name Santa Claus, but that is another story.

Still no cure

Today is World AIDS Day, designated on 1 December every year since 1988, an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection and mourning those who have died of the disease over the years. We may not hear about HIV/AIDS as much as we once did, but we should.  There is still a stigma and there is still no cure.

Next year I will participate in my 35th AIDS Walk. I never thought it would go on for so long! People are living longer now with HIV, but there are still medical complications and there are still deaths. The global epidemic of HIV/AIDS began way back in 1981, and according to the World Health Organization, (as of last year), has killed approximately 40.1 million people.

I cannot tell you how many funerals I attended, especially in the early days back in the 80s, and how many candlelight vigils I participated in.  We must continue to remember those who have died while at the same time we support those living with HIV and work toward an end to the stigma and work especially for a cure.  Get tested.  Stay informed.  Be involved.  Make a difference.

Click HERE for more information and ways you can get involved.  

The CDC advises that numbers for the past two years should be interpreted with caution due to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on access to HIV testing, care-related services, and case surveillance activities.

Not yet Christmas

You wouldn't know it from the tv advertising and the scenes in most retail stores, but it's not yet Christmas. It's not even December! In fact Advent, the pre-Christmas period of anticipation that many churches observe, doesn't even begin until tomorrow. Why the rush?

 

I hear people say it every year.  They aren't going to decorate early.  They aren't going to give in to the Black Friday madness.  Christmas is such a wonderful time, let us give it our all, but let's wait until it actually arrives.  Oh and the twelve days of Christmas?  Let's go back to celebrating that way, but the 12 begins on December 25th - that's not when it ends!

 

I love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  I love the parties and the joy.  I really do.  What I am not a fan of is the rush and the early start.  Some folks begin trotting out Christmas decorations or merchandise before summer is even over!

 

So, let us continue to enjoy our Thanksgiving weekend and then let us let the season build slowly.  Let's not let any stores or businesses rob us of this great celebration and let it continue on after the sun sets on December 25th too.  Oh and happy holidays?  I have no problem wishing folks happiness for the several celebrations that happen to come near each other each December, but there is also nothing wrong with a specific wish for a happy Chanukah or Christmas or Kwanza or New Year's, but not yet!

Let us give thanks

The world is not perfect.  For many, this has not been a very good year.  I have an idea though.  Let's look on the positive side.  Surely there was something good in our lives.  If we are honest, I think we can find a lot to be grateful for. 

 

It's pretty difficult to make our lives better if we always dwell on the negative.  Didn't have any negatives?  Oh my!  You are one of the very fortunate ones!  Of course that means that you have even more reason to give thanks.

 

How about the other folks?  We can't fix every problem in the world, but we can spread love and kindness, and a holiday like today is a great place to begin.

 

Yes, the turkey dinner, the parades on tv, the football, the gathering with family and friends - all very good things.  Don't forget what the name of this holiday is though.  Let us give thanks.

it's My Right

Way back when our country began, only white males who owned property could vote.  There are those who would like to see that policy return, but thankfully the right to vote is now enshrined in the US Constitution and several amendments.  ALL citizens who have reached the age of eighteen, have the right to vote.

 

Today is Election Day.  You will hear about it all day long.  Tonight tv, radio, and the internet will devote a lot of time to reporting the results of our balloting.  Will the status quo continue?  Will there be huge changes?  That is what we all will help decide.  Actually, I should say what we all should help decide.  Sadly, many don't even bother to vote.

 

It's my right.  I can vote or I can stay home.  Why would you choose the latter?  We can decide who our senators and congresspeople will be.  We can decide who will be our governor.  Think about it.  We have the power.  Together we can do some incredible things.  So many parts of the world don't have such power.  Why would we want to throw it away?

 

I cannot stress this enough.  If you truly care about your community, your state, your nation, get out there today and let your voice be heard.  VOTE!  There really is a LOT at stake.

In reverse

Today is one of those odd days during the year that folks seem to love or hate and for a wide variety of reasons.  Some already did their Halloween over the weekend and some will spend tonight either celebrating, hiding, or a little of both.  I feel bad for all the people who become uncomfortable with this occasion, but if we all showed more kindness and respect toward each other, I think it could be more enjoyable.

Remember those Halloween pranks you did as a kid?  How about reversing it and doing some good deed instead?  Some folks might want to make an entire evening of doing nice things for others - a sort of reverse trick-or-treating.

Oh and then there is the candy and treats.  We could turn that around too.  Rather than collecting candy, we could distribute candy.  Buy several bags of those small candy bars and head to the nearby fire station, to the library, perhaps to some shops you frequent or to a senior center.  Don't expect people to give something to you but instead you give something to them. 

There are lots of possibilities in doing the day in reverse.  Of course some may want to go the traditional way too.  That's fine.  Do what makes you happy, but for me, bringing joy to others gives me so much happiness.  How ever you celebrate, be safe and respectful and enjoy the occasion!

Love those health care workers

It was not my plan at all to spend time in hospital, but that's what happened, as I mentioned yesterday. I won't go into details, because this blog is NOT about me, but I will say I am okay and there is no need to worry. I am mentioning this again today because I want to say that health care workers are incredible!

During my hospital stay, I got to see nurses, aides, technicians, phlebotomists, physicians, and any number of other hospital employees, not only dealing with me, but I could overhear their interactions with other patients.  So much caring!  If the whole world was like the people I have just encountered in hospital, we would never have anything to worry about.

This really isn't news to me.  I already knew about some exceptional health care workers.  I just had to point it out though because all to often this people are taken for granted.  Coming out of a pandemic, so many in the profession are exhausted from seeing so much suffering and death from so many people.  Yes, there are bad apples just like in any area of work but let us celebrate the good ones.  Being a nurse, doctor, or any health care worker, makes a difference to other people.  Think about the work they do the next time you visit your provider.  Be sure to say thanks!

Hero Headquarters

This space could easily be hero headquarters, because I certainly write here a lot about heroes. I've asked about your heroes and said what I think it takes. I have written about a number of folks that I think are heroes. I've even quoted the wise words of Jason Chu, who in his song Marvels said "We become heroes because of what makes us human." What more than is there to say?

Well our ideas of a hero are not all the same. A hero to you might not be one to me. Lately I have seen more and more heroes and that is something to celebrate. That wonderful human factor - that love of good and decency.  We all are capable of doing something heroic.  It doesn't mean we have to pull someone from a burning building or out of a car wreck.  We don't have to thwart an armed robbery or help an old lady who just had her purse snatched, to be a hero.  Each of us can be heroes in our own way.

The many activists who stand up for justice and equality belong in this category too.  The unconditional love - the "making a difference" kind of people:  heroes.  There seem to be more and more folks coming out and changing the world.  You can be a hero too!  You can make a difference.  Perhaps you already are.  I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.  Tell me about the heroes in your life!

A Facebook Post About Changing The World

If you spend any time on facebook, you can find just about anything.  Some folks post nothing but pictures of their pets or the food they eat.  Some post pictures of their daily adventures.  People ask a lot of questions too.  Some are funny ones.  Some make you think.  The other day a friend of mine posted a question which I just had to comment on here.

The question posted was "If you are given a chance to change the world, would you take it?"  A number of people liked the question without commenting.  There were a lot of comments though including some who said they were already doing it.  I responded that I always believe in changing the world.  (That's one reason why I write this blog).  Someone posted that they didn't believe they could ever be influential enough to change the entire world.  Oops!  Wrong answer, (as far as I'm concerned).  We ALL can change the world!  Every one of us!

Some people think that facebook is a waste of time, but I find some great information and some wonderful discussions there.  This one wasn't huge.  There were only about 25 responses, but I like that several people were seriously looking at changing the world.  I guess I might have an issue with the question's wording "If you are given a chance .   .   ."  It is my belief that we all have that chance every single day.

A lot of people post great quotes on facebook too.  Sometimes the quotes are in the form of posters that you could decorate your walls with.  One person posted a wonderful quote in response to this question: 

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -Mahatma Ghandi

End discrimination

When I was little I witnessed so much prejudice and hate. I can remember the "Whites Only" signs and the separate drinking fountains and I remember all the hateful things that were broadcast on television. Most of the obvious prejudice was racial. Later I became aware of the prejudice that existed based on sex, religion, age, gender identity, and prejudice based on sexual orientation.  

 

There are some people who think that such discrimination has ended. How wrong they are!  We have seen so many examples this year.  While there are indeed better protections under the law, and while many attitudes have gotten better, we still have a very long way to go.  This includes privilege and preferential treatment.  When a missing white woman is trending for days on social media and the lead story on tv news, but missing people of color are ignored, that is discrimination.

Will it EVER end? This is one of those things that we really can do something about. We have the power! We can make things better. Why do we tolerate so much hate speech? Why do we remain silent when people are discriminated against right in our midst? If we all spoke up and if we all decided to say No! to discrimination, it would end immediately. Do we really want a world of hate?

What do YOU think?

Reflections from Twenty One Years Ago

The words below I have printed here before, but in this troubled week, I think it will be good to see them again.  Twenty-one years ago, when the terrorist attacks stunned the nation, Frank Tracy Griswold was Primate and Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in the United States.  Three days after the attacks, as the country was trying to understand and to heal, memorials were held.  Bishop Griswold recounted that day of mourning in an essay in which he mentions the "selfless volunteers and their eagerness to be useful."  That was certainly true in the aftermath of 9/11 and the world would be so much better off if it was always true. 

As I said, I think Bishop Frank's words are good to see again, so here below is that essay:

On Friday, September 14, the day of national mourning, I knew my place was here in New York with those who were courageously struggling with the aftermath of the hideous events of the previous Tuesday. A police van picked me up at the Church Center and transported me through checkpoints to the Seaman's Church Institute within the restricted area where police, firefighters, National Guard, rescue workers and Con Edison technicians were being cared for with food, fresh changes of clothing, and words of thanks and encouragement from tireless volunteers.

In the midst of the chaos I was asked to celebrate the Eucharist. It was Holy Cross Day, and how appropriate and right it was that our mourning and grief be rooted and grounded in the mystery of the cross. St. Paul speaks of sharing the sufferings of Christ. I thought that every act of violence, and all that it produces, is an instance of Christ's own suffering with and on behalf of those he came to reconcile to one another through the cross.

In the Gospel reading for the day, we hear Jesus proclaim: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself." The cross is Jesus' facing into all the subtle and obvious forces of evil the divide the human family, drawing us all to himself in order that we might be transformed and live in new patterns of relationship: patterns which are grounded in the awareness that - at the heart of all differences of language, race, culture and ways of believing and naming God - we are profoundly one in the mind and heart of our Creator. That this terrible act of terrorism has provoked blind and indiscriminate blame directed against our Moslem and Arab neighbors is to allow the evil we are suffering to catch us up in its ongoing destructive force, and make us its victim in yet another way.

After the Eucharist, Phoebe and I were taken through more checkpoints to "Ground Zero." This close to the impact, gray ash lay everywhere and coated the silent and abandoned buildings, among them St. Paul's Chapel where George Washington worshiped. Outside the church the American and Episcopal Church flags, stained and torn, fluttered at half-mast. An ancient tree had been uprooted and its branches rested on the gravestones. The building was intact, but the churchyard was thick with ash and debris and thousands of bits of paper. The iron gate was ajar. I pushed it open and climbed the littered and ash covered steps to the open door of the church. In an eerie way, everything seemed to be in order, except for the covering of dust. I found myself in tears. Here, at the heart of all the chaos and destruction was a place of solace and prayer.

The sacristy door stood open. I went in and found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote "I have been here and you have my prayers and my love. Frank Griswold, Presiding Bishop." I turned to leave and just then the priest arrived. "I'm here and the church is open," he said. What more could one ask for at a time like this than the ministry of presence.

As we left, I looked up at the crucifix above the altar and had the sense that the extended arms could receive and embrace all the madness and hatred and destruction and suffering that lay close by and in all the places in our fragile world where violence and death and innocent suffering are a daily reality. Somehow this terrible event has joined us in solidarity with the suffering of the world.

That evening I took part in a service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. At the end of the service, the congregation with lighted candles in hand followed us out onto the cathedral steps where people, instead of dispersing into the evening, drew close to one another, still holding on to their candles. Passersby joined them, some stopping to buy candles in nearby shops.

Spontaneous singing began…"We shall overcome…." I thought of the overwhelming generosity of spirit that had flowed through the day. I thought of the selfless volunteers and their eagerness to be useful; the many workers and their gratitude; the congregation bound together in mutual support. I was seeing evil overcome by good which is the only way in which our world can be healed. I was also seeing our church in action and prayer and hospitality mediate the real presence of Christ.

How grateful I am for our Episcopal household and for its clear witness at this time. The days ahead will be difficult and demanding for us all, and I pray that we will be able to live them with the courage and strength that are ours in the risen Christ.

    +Frank T. Griswold
    XXV Presiding Bishop and Primate
    The Episcopal Church, USA

Death of the Queen

After 70 years as queen, and after 96 years of life, Elizabeth II passed away yesterday afternoon with her son Charles and her daughter Anne beside her.  Charles became King at the moment of her death, but I want to say something about Elizabeth.

Elizabeth II became queen of Great Britain and Northern Ireland way back before most of us were even born, following the death of her father, King George VI.  Her face and even her manner is so known to just about everyone.  As her son and daughter-in-law face new duties ahead, they and they rest of the family are so busy with official duties, that they hardly have time to grieve.  Losing a mother is tough.  I know.  To lose your mother though and then need to immediately replace her officially, has to be a difficult chore.

I have no idea about the funeral plans or the official transfer of power.  We will all certainly hear a lot about those things in the days ahead.  

I know many people are anti-monarchy.  There are many reasons, but right now that doesn't matter.  Queen Elizabeth always cared about the people of the Commonwealth.  For good or for bad, she cared.  From everything I have seen, Charles cares too.  It would seem to me that the kind thing right now would be to show decency and respect.  Let the family grieve.  Remember the good, and there is so much good.  There will be plenty of time later on to address any changes.

Elizabeth II

 

Table cooperation

The process of working together to the same end, is called cooperation. It isn't a new concept, but it doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. I've even told you this particular story about cooperation before, but I really like it, and it's important, so I thought I would tell this story again.

There was a man who was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they weren't eating.

Now in heaven, the picture was exactly the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing. How can this be? Cooperation! They were working together. Each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a beautiful scene, a picture of people working together, a picture of cooperation. 

Working together as a team, we can do so much more! Think about it. How wonderful this world would be if we all worked together!

Inspired by Kennedy

When I was young, Robert Francis Kennedy was the junior US Senator from New York State, where I was growing up.  I remember him saying “There are those that look at things the way they are, and ask why? I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?” Those words had a profound impact on me.

Robert Kennedy's life was cut short by a bullet, but he had already gotten my attention.  I don't know how many lives he touched; we never know such things.  I do know that ever since I have been trying to not only get involved and make a difference in the world, but to motivate others to participate too.  I really believe that it was Senator Kennedy who inspired me.

We may not all be inspired by a Kennedy, but we all can give back to this world of ours.  It isn't important that we give in a certain way - the important thing is that we just do it!

honoring labor

No school.  A last chance to picnic.  The end of summer.  The last opportunity to wear white.  Labor Day means many things to different people, but the first Monday in September is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of workers, and it is a day to celebrate our labor unions.  The working class are the ones who keep the nation moving and so a day of tribute is indeed in order. Hard work, whatever you do, has value.  This is the day we honor that.

 

Now many folks get the day off from work today.  Seems odd, huh?  How do you celebrate labor by not laboring?  This is a workingmen’s holiday, but not all of us need to work on the day to appreciate the significance.  For over 100 years we have remembered labor on this date - it all began back in New York City with the Central Labor Union, and hopefully we will continue to, because as I said, workers truly are our country's backbone.

Have fun today.  Enjoy whatever it is you may be doing.  Remember though the real meaning of today, and give your support to labor! 

Harvey said

The wonderful actor and writer Harvey Fierstein has brought thousands of hours of enjoyment to the world.  I can't tell you how many times I have watched Torch Song Trilogy for example.  Harvey also says some pretty inspiring things too.

Harvey said "Time will tell us what we did and didn't do."  Yup.

"Never be bullied into silence," he also said.  "Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

One more thing from Harvey:  "I do believe we're all connected. I do believe in positive energy. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in putting good out into the world. And I believe in taking care of each other."

Thanks for continuing to not only entertain us Harvey, but also to inspire us.

happiness

On this Friday morning, are you happy? Right now as you read this, do you have a smile on your face? Is there a feeling of joy about you? 

I want to talk about happiness here today because there are folks who never seem to be happy and others who always seem to be happy. It doesn't have to be an either-or situation. Do you fall into either group, or are you more in between?

There is a statement attributed to Abraham Lincoln that I find a lot of truth in. "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." In other words, we can decide if we are going to be happy or not.  It's up to us, at least in part.  Yes, I know bad things happen and I don't expect us to smile through those moments of sorrow, but I bet we can all smile a little bit more.

I'm fortunate to be part of a family that has always been filled with joy and I seem to find friends that are the same way. While every single day might not be the most marvelous, what good is feeling bad about it? There are always good things to look at! May your day be filled with happiness and the month ahead bring you lots of smiles!

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

Let's all get involved. Let's no see any more lives ruined because of bullying.

just one

Picture this for a moment. You have one chance - one opportunity to change things for the better. Imagine. You can do something so wonderful. Picture this in your mind. Think about it. I'm not talking about lists. I'm not talking about doing something marvelous every single minute or every single day of your life. I'm talking here about one chance to do great. Just one. Think about it for a moment. Study it for a while.

Now imagine one more thing: Imagine everyone doing one great thing.  Everyone.  Every single person in the country - perhaps everyone in the entire world doing one great thing.  Oh my!  Imagine how great things could be if we ALL got on board and made a difference. Just one.  If we all did just one incredible thing.  Think about it. Pretty incredible, huh?

It can be pretty easy to do some small things too and make a huge difference.  Right now with COVID-19 and monkeypox, a few things come to mind, like washing our hands, wearing a mask, keeping physical distance from others, and getting vaccinated.  These are difficult and if just one person does their part it helps.  Now think about all those individuals being joined by others.  So much can be accomplished!

It does not have to start out big at all. It can start with just one person. You can be that one!

all smiles

Did you ever notice that a smile isn't just the position of your mouth? When most of us smile, we use our whole face. We smile with our eyes, even if they aren't wide open. When I see someone smile, it makes me happy. How about you?  Do smiles brighten your day?

When I see someone who isn't smiling, I try all the harder. I smile every single day. Why? Because it really is contagious. You'd be amazed at how many smiles will show up as a result of yours!

Oh, one more thing about smiles too.  I will never suggest we be cold and uncaring about someone's bad moments. People you encounter might be going through financial or health difficulties or may have just been touched by the death of a loved one. These days are certainly more difficult than ever before, but there is still reason to smile.  There are many reasons why someone's smile might disappear, but we can still smile with a loving and caring smile.  Let the world you encompass shine!

But no one seems to want to save the children anymore

It is so easy to become discouraged and depressed these days.  There are so many horrible things happening in our world.  This is especially true when we see so many shootings.  It's time to say enough is enough, but I have said this before!  Is anyone listening?

People argue on social media for a day or two and then it seems to be business as usual again.  Overnight someone responded to a tweet of mine saying the solution is for everyone to be carrying guns.  He was serious too.

I'm not going to tell you how to fix the problem, because it is complex and cannot be corrected by a simple act.  We can't keep ignoring it though.  We need to do something.  If we don't care about each other, then let's at least think of the children. But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.  That line from Kendrew Lascelles poem "The Box" keeps popping into my head.  (His poem was about war, but the sentiment still fits).

 

I was looking the other day at the face of a little boy who was shot a few years ago at the Gilroy Garlic Festival.  This morning I'm thinking especially of those killed at that parade near Chicago.  How many kids were witness to this tragedy?  I think of the many kids who have been shot and killed, so many of them in their own schools.  There is public outcry for a few days and then everyone moves on.  Every human life is precious, but for those who suggest that some folks "deserve what they get," let me again point to the children.  How can an innocent child deserve to die?  Do you have an answer?  But no one seems to want to save the children anymore. 

 

Will YOU do something today?  Will you make a phone call or write a letter or talk to your friends and family or overwise convey your feelings that something must be done?  In many countries the people would be out in the streets marching for safety and peace.  What is happening in the United States where mass shootings have become so common?

 

But no one seems to want to save the children anymore.

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do churches pay their bills?  How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothing?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

Missing a piece of the puzzle

Somehow I never really got into the jigsaw puzzle thing. Mom loved them and I remember her having them laid out on a card table when I was little. It might take her a while because she stopped to do other things, but when she found those last pieces, it was an accomplishment - especially that last missing piece of the puzzle.

 

Sometimes our lives are like that. It doesn't mean we are unhappy necessarily, but we are looking for something that just is not there. When it comes: WOW! It seems somewhat like finding those missing puzzle pieces. (Now of course if you are putting together a jigsaw puzzle, you actually look for those pieces. In life we might not even realize that something is even missing).

 

So what do we do? Well, keeping our minds and our hearts open to new possibilities is always a good thing. Listening to others and realizing that "our" way might not be the "only" way is a start in the right direction. If we think there is a missing piece that we'd like to find, there is nothing wrong with asking for help too. Perhaps our puzzle pieces are a bit more fluid than those of the jigsaw puzzle. Perhaps in some cases, there is nothing really missing at all.

Joy Joy Joy

There used to be a song that was often sung around the campfire at church camps and other places with a line that went "I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy - Down in my heart - Down in my heart to stay."  I don't know how I got that in my head.  I must have joy in my heart!

What brings you joy?  I've asked that question here before but think about it for a moment once again.  There are tons of answers to the question.  There really isn't a wrong answer.  What brings you joy might not bring me joy.  Does some of your own joy come in the giving too?  So how can a feeling of great pleasure and happiness be felt by those around you?  What can you do to share the joy?  Do you every purposely try to fill others with joy and happiness?

For me joy is pretty awesome but like with this blog, it's NOT about me and it's not just about my joy alone.  I really am most joyful when I am surrounded by other joyful people.  Seems pretty obvious what we need to do then.  We need to spread the joy, especially during these difficult times!

Living life to the fullest

I noticed in an obituary the other day that the deceased person they were writing about was said to have lived life to the fullest. What exactly does that mean though?

There are those who let life pass them by. They really don't enjoy the day-to-day wonders. Many years ago, when I worked in radio, I used to say "Smell the flowers along the way. They're only here for a very short while and they need a lot of love to grow." In other words, enjoy life - live it to its fullest potential!

Ernest Hemingway asked, “Don't you ever get the feeling that all your life is going by and you're not taking advantage of it?" What a great question! Just think about it for a moment.

Take advantage of all the good around you. Smell the flowers indeed but do so much more. Enjoy family and friends. Do good. Appreciate beauty in its many forms. Take risks. As Auntie Mame taught us, we should "Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

More than 11 in Philly

Do the names Merrill Bittner, Alla Bozarth-Campbell, Alison Cheek, Emily Hewitt, Carter Heyward, Suzanne Hiatt, Marie Moorefield, Jeannette Piccard, Betty Schiess, Katrina Swanson, and Nancy Wittig mean anything to you? If you are a priest in the Episcopal Church, you may recognize them as groundbreakers. Forty-eight years ago today, those eleven became the first women to be ordained as priests in the US Episcopal Church. Until then it was men only. 

A lot has been written about that day in Philadelphia.  What some folks miss is that the liturgy at the Church of the Advocate and the ordinations were not illegal.  Nothing in church law specifically forbid such ordinations.  It just wasn't done.  It meant that some people had to stand up and question the status quo and say "Hey!  Why not?"  The Philadelphia Eleven, as those women came to be known, made a difference.  It is my opinion though that there were more than eleven on that day who made a difference.

Look at the picture.  Those are men laying hands on the newly ordained.  That is a bishop who is presiding.  There were hundreds of men, women, and children filling the church that day.  Together they ALL made a difference.  They wanted to move forward and to be inclusive.  The 1976 General Convention of the Church meeting in Minneapolis on September 15–23, 1976 made the necessary changes in Canon Law to ensure that women would have equal access to the ordination process. The next January, Jacqueline A. Means became the first female deacon canonically ordained to the priesthood in the Episcopal Church.

 

Change comes when people realize that it is necessary.  Forty-eight years ago, 11 women became priests and thankfully they were not alone.  Today, we still need to make changes.  Women are still underrepresented.  There are still those who would ban them and those who also would ban gay and lesbian clergy.  We will always need more to stand up and be recognized for doing the right thing and for supporting justice and equality for all.

Make A Difference

"One man can make a difference and every man should try." What a powerful message - one that I truly believe.

These words are generally credited to John F Kennedy, but may have actually come after his death, from his widow Jacqueline Kennedy. (The words were written on a card for an exhibit which traveled around the country when the Kennedy Library in Boston was first opening and have been quoted in Respectfully Quoted: A Dictionary of Quotations edited by Suzy Platt). Regardless of which Kennedy said them though, they most certainly are still true!

My daily purpose here is to suggest various ways of making a difference, because after all, every single one of us can do that. How about some suggestions? I know that I have covered a lot of ground over the years, but I'll bet you have some good suggestions too!  Please feel free to leave them in the comments section below.  You might think you don't have that many ideas, but you just might surprise yourself.  Besides, everyone should try.

"One man can make a difference and every man should try."

Every single penny

Through the year, I personally try to raise money for various causes. I know this blog is NOT about me, but I wanted to share something I often hear.  "I'd give, but I can only spare a few bucks, and that isn't worth it."  Every single penny helps.  Remember, we don't act alone, but together with every other person who is giving.

Just recently I raised money for AIDS Walk San Francisco, and I can't tell you how many people said they wanted to give but just didn't have the fifty dollars it takes.  Some of this is the fault of organizations that suggest certain amounts when asking for donations.  What really should be stressed over and over is that ALL gifts are helpful.

My birthday is next month, and rather than accept presents, I am asking anyone who wants to give something, to donate to and organization that is dear to me, like the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, Asian Americans Advancing Justice - Asian Law Caucus, Transgender Law Center, San Francisco Night Ministry, or your American Cancer Society.  Again, I try to stress to my friends that the smallest of gifts is appreciated just as much as the largest.

If you are out there collecting for a favorite charity, remind people of this.  The idea isn't to make people go broke or to make them feel guilty.  There are some who just might not be able to even spare a dime, but for those who can give, every single penny counts.