Cherish

"Now that the holidays are over" said the announcer on tv - WAIT!  STOP!  Holidays over?!  What is he talking about?  Christmas only began yesterday and runs through January 5th.  Today is also the very first day of Kwanzaa and New Year's isn't until next weekend.  I wonder what holidays this guy was talking about!

 

In our rushed lives, we seem to do more planning than celebrating.  It's not uncommon to see Christmas merchandise out at retail stores as early as September.  Folks even seem to decorate their houses earlier and earlier, but then it all seems to come down on December 25th, or earlier!  After hours preparing a nice beef brisket, you wouldn't eat just one slice and throw the rest away! Why do that with Christmas?  I know you wouldn't pop open a bottle of champagne and then have but one glass before throwing out the rest of the bottle!  My family always celebrated the twelve days of Christmas, and I continue the tradition.

 

The race to just get it over with doesn't have to be the way we do things.  Enjoy the holidays - ALL of them.  Enjoy every moment.  Include your coworkers and your friends and your family and even strangers on the street!  Oh and I will never be offended if you wish me a happy Hanukkah, even though I am not Jewish, or a happy or merry holiday of your choosing.  Cherish the time.  No need to rush!

On the first day of Christmas

Despite what many stores will tell you, Christmas doesn't end today.  No, today is actually the first day of Christmas.  In this twelve day celebration I do hope you will take a moment to think about the good things in our lives and the good you can bring to others.  We could even get going and finally extend the spirit of Christmas to every single day of our lives!

The twelve days extend into the new year of course, and how wonderful it will be to start 2023 with this celebration!  Think that the spirit of Christmas is gone? Have faith in humanity.  Believe that there is good and work to make sure that good continues, not just for the twelve days of Christmas, but throughout the year.

 

On this first day of Christmas I won't give you a partridge in a pear tree, but I will give you my hope that every single one of us will be inspired to make a difference in the world and I wish you much joy and peace!

how do you say thank you?

How many ways are there to say thank you?  I'm not talking about the many different languages, although putting together a nice graphic with those two words as they are said in other tongues can be a lot of fun and I'm sure would be pleasing to the person you are thanking.  What else though?  What can you do to convey that you are actually grateful for that something you have received?

 

We give thanks at different times for different things.  Sometimes a polite courtesy is almost taken for granted, but when somebody hold the door open for you or pulls out your chair or refills your water glass, say thank you.  When you receive a present or money, then most certainly thanks should be offered.  How about when you ask for someone to help you with a project?  Let me just say there is never a bad time to offer thanks. 

 

You are an awesome caring person and I'm sure you want folks to know you appreciate those things they do on your behalf.  Let it be known then! Let them see your happy dance!  Notes are always nice too.  I know many have fallen away from the habit of writing personal notes, but the most awesome people I know still write them and it means a lot.  I was just talking about this to a group of people, and every one of them agreed.

I know we can get back in the habit.  Say thanks in the way that works best for the particular occasion but say it!  I have so many reasons personally for saying it today.  That breakfast burrito I ate a little while ago and someone special made it happen.  Thanks!

From a New York taxi driver

I have no idea who wrote this - I found it a long time ago on the internet and have seen it posted several times.  I've even shared it here before.  It's the kind of "feel good" story that I really like and again, these are not my words, but I wanted to share this great story with all of you once again.

A NYC Taxi driver wrote:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked..

'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.

They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said.

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

9-8-8

Loneliness and other worries the holidays bring, widespread racism, health issues including COVID-19, and a number of other factors have brought a lot of people to the end. We have seen it in the news far too many times, often involving beloved performers.  The dark thoughts around ending one's life don't get enough attention until it is too late. We should talk about it though. Lives can be saved. The national hotline in the US is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 988. If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who does, use this number.

Of course, a telephone number doesn't solve everything. I am not just talking about those in crisis. We ALL need to have a better understanding of suicide and we ALL need to value every human life. We need to care more. 

Years ago in Nashville, I volunteered at a suicide prevention hotline, and each day we saw results. Each day we helped people in crisis. A wonderful nurse I know where I live now, has been a leader here in suicide awareness.  I'm not a doctor, but I can tell you of many cases where intervention has saved lives and I urge you to learn a few basic things. The first thing is you are not alone!

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the highest suicide rate is among adults between 45 and 64 years of age, and the second highest rate is persons 85 years or older. That may be surprising, because we so often hear about youth suicides, but elders take their own lives far more often.

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. They are committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.  As they help save lives, let us help them by spreading the word.  The number to call is 988.

All lives are precious, and nobody should feel that things are hopeless or that they are all alone. If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. I urge everyone to become better informed too. We should all understand why people take their lives and how this can be avoided. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is an excellent place to begin. Check out their website at https://afsp.org/

Happy holidays?

It seems to me that an awful lot of folks are complaining about the greeting "Happy holidays!" But, why? I hear people say that this is taking the place of "Merry Christmas," but actually that isn't true. Wishes for specific holidays are nice, but the all-encompassing "happy holidays" seems so much more comprehensive.

We have already observed Saint Nicholas Day and Pearl Harbor Day. At sunset in 4 days the eight-day celebration of Hanukkah.comes up.  There is also Advent, Saturnalia, Festivus, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, and New Year's Eve. Oh, and that's just a partial list. Don't celebrate them all? No problem! Very few people actually observe every single holiday, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. When you say "happy holidays" to someone, you are hoping they enjoy the days that they do commemorate.

Midway through this month, I have been thinking a lot about various holiday traditions. It's amazing how varied things like Santa or a wreath or even a menorah can be from one family to another or from one part of the world to another. Varied, and wonderful too! Think of how much extra joy there can be with so many different traditions and so many different holidays. Enjoy!

archair activist

Someone called me an "armchair activist" the other day.  "All you do is sit in front of your computer."  Well, since this blog supposedly is NOT about me, I won't protest too much.  Believe me, there are many things that I do, but I don't want to list all of my shortcomings here. 

 

An armchair activist though has a nice ring to it.  It might not have been meant as a compliment, but to me, any activism is good.  It's all about getting involved and making a difference.  Some people might not be physically able to climb up and down stairs or walk a picket line or march in a procession up a crowded street.  For some people sitting in front of a computer is a big deal and they can certainly connect with as many people, perhaps more, in that way.

 

Making positive changes happens in a variety of ways.  We can write letters or send emails or even write a blog to get our point of view across.  Sometimes we might even be successful.  Sometimes we might even do it enough so that someone refers to us as an armchair activist!

Good old Saint Nick

Yes indeed. There certainly was a Saint Nicholas. It's not like the Santa Claus that most Americans know and associate with Christmas. Also called Nikolaos of Myra, the 4th-century Christian saint whom we celebrate tomorrow was a bishop of the church and also a giver of presents. Well in his case it was usually coins, but there are a lot of customs that grew in his memory.

Now most of us in the US think of Saint Nick and Christmas, but in many parts of the world, there is a separate celebration today.  Americans who keep the feast today most likely think of it only as a church commemoration.

Good reason for remembering him. Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of children, students, archers, sailors, pawnbrokers, pharmacists, merchants, repentant thieves, and various churches, institutions, cities, and countries. Church-goers may find it interesting that he was one of the bishops who signed the Nicene Creed. I'm not certain why but he is also the patron of broadcasters.

There are numerous legends surrounding him including my favorite one about three theological students, traveling on their way to study in Athens. In the tale, a wicked innkeeper robbed and murdered the students, hiding their bodies in a large pickling tub. Bishop Nicholas it seems was traveling along the same route and stopped at the very same inn. While sleeping, he dreamt of the crime, got up, and called out to the innkeeper. As Nicholas prayed to God, the three students were restored to life and wholeness.

His name in Dutch, Sinterklaas, is where we got the name Santa Claus, but that is another story.

Still no cure

Today is World AIDS Day, designated on 1 December every year since 1988, an international day dedicated to raising awareness of the AIDS pandemic caused by the spread of HIV infection and mourning those who have died of the disease over the years. We may not hear about HIV/AIDS as much as we once did, but we should.  There is still a stigma and there is still no cure.

Next year I will participate in my 35th AIDS Walk. I never thought it would go on for so long! People are living longer now with HIV, but there are still medical complications and there are still deaths. The global epidemic of HIV/AIDS began way back in 1981, and according to the World Health Organization, (as of last year), has killed approximately 40.1 million people.

I cannot tell you how many funerals I attended, especially in the early days back in the 80s, and how many candlelight vigils I participated in.  We must continue to remember those who have died while at the same time we support those living with HIV and work toward an end to the stigma and work especially for a cure.  Get tested.  Stay informed.  Be involved.  Make a difference.

Click HERE for more information and ways you can get involved.  

The CDC advises that numbers for the past two years should be interpreted with caution due to the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on access to HIV testing, care-related services, and case surveillance activities.