Tuesday, December 31, 2013

preparing to write a new book

It's the seventh day of Christmas, but it's also the last day of the year. 2013 is coming to a close! A big thank you to all who read this regularly and I hope you find something here of value.

Now it's time to close this 2013 book though. I hope your life has had a lot of great moments during the year! Mine has certainly had more ups and downs than ever before and I am blessed to have such wonderful friends.  My sister is also such a wonderful blessing in my life!
 
Tomorrow we open a brand new book. It's pages are blank. We of course are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and it's first chapter is New Year's Day!  Let's make this new book a best-seller!

Happy New Year everyone!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Like sands through the hourglass

Father Time, also known as 2013, is soon going to be leaving us and making way for Baby New Year. Is there anything you wanted to do in 2013 but didn't? If you had more time, could you get to it?  Better hurry - just two days left!

I'm not one for making resolutions - so many of them are broken in the first frew days anyway. I'm not a big fan of regrets either. You cannot change what is - you can only try to do your best.

Like sands running through the hourglass, the moments of our life roll on by. I always try to do my best. Sometimes I do terribly well. Sometimes I fail. Doing our best though counts a lot. Just keep on trying!

Friday, December 27, 2013

thanks for your wonderful testimony Otis

One of the nicest and kindest men I have ever known, The Right Reverend Edgar Otis Charles, who for more than six decades served as a priest and then bishop in the Episcopal Church, died yesterday afternoon, just a few months after losing his husband Felipe Sanchez Paris-Charles. 
 
I first met Bishop Otis years ago, after he had retired as the Bishop of Utah and after he had come out as the first openly gay bishop in the Episcopal Church (or any denomination).  The gentle yet warm spirit that was his made me know immediately that we would always be friends.  It was so much fun running in to him unexpectedly sometimes at public events.
 
His place in the history of the Episcopal Church is solid.  For fourteen years he served as a member of the Standing Liturgical Commission, which developed the 1979 edition of the Book of Common Prayer.  In the House of Bishops, he was chair of the Prayer Book Committee and a member of the Bishops' Committee on Racism.  After his years as Utah's bishop, he became dean of the  Episcopal Divinity School. He was also active in the peace movement and, after coming out, became active in lgbt matters.
 
It was mostly with his husband Felipe that I knew him.  It was always Otis AND Felipe!  When one of them sponsored me for AIDS Walk, I knew it was from them both. The two appear in the film "Love Free or Die," a portion of which you can see HERE and get a sense of the love between Otis and Felipe.  You could see the love in their eyes.
 
Services for Bishop Otis have not yet been arranged but I imagine that Saint Gregory's, the local parish of which he was a member, will hold some kind of liturgy and there will likely be a service in Utah as well.  Rest in peace dear friend.  Thanks for your wonderful testimony.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas??

Merry Christmas?

There will be those - there always are, who will utter this greeting with a question mark in their voices. What's to be merry about? A slowed down economy?   Bullying, homophobia, racism, and prejudice still rearing their ugly heads? Pedestrian traffic fatalities?  Horrific weather conditions?  There certainly is a lot of bad news!  For me personally (yes, I know, this is NOT about me) it will be my first Christmas since Mom died this past spring and one might expect it would therefore be a little less merry.

Old Scrooge in the wonderful Dickens classic was one of those who used to question the joy of Christmas. "Humbug!" That's how he summed it all up. Scrooge found out though, and just in time, that there is always reason to be happy - there is always something to be joyful about!

I am reminded of the words preached by Saint Leo the Great way back in the fifth century:

"Today our Savior is born; let us rejoice. Sadness should have no place on the birthday of life. The fear of death has been swallowed up; life brings us joy with the promise of eternal happiness."

May we carry that message with us with no question mark at all. Merry Christmas everyone!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

O Holy Night

Finally!  The special night is here!  Tonight people all over the world will be welcoming Christmas (oh and by the way, tomorrow is the first day of Christmas, not the last).  You still have a few hours for those last minute preparations but don't delay!
 
Whether you gather with family and friends in a church at midnight and sing O Holy Night (or perhaps Silent Night) or stay at home in front of a fireplace (or the yule log on television), I hope that yours will be an enjoyable celebration.
 
In just a few hours I will be heading down to my sister's house to spend the night with her - our first Christmas since Mom died.  Tomorrow will obviously be quite different from last Christmas, but it will still be good.
 
Whoever you are and where ever you are, Christmas should be a wonderful time of celebration.  Enjoy!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Is pink still for girls and blue for boys

At the very beginning of the movie Torch Song Trilogy, a young Arnold is caught by his mother dressed in some of her finest and putting on some of her makeup. Those of you who have seen the film know that Arnold grows up to become a drag queen. How about in real life though - what happens if little boys are into dresses, wigs, and makeup?

A year ago I asked the question "Is pink still for girls and blue for boys?"  Except for the post about my mother at her time of death, more people have read that blog entry than anything else I have written.  Not long after, the New York Times Magazine just happened to ask about the same subject. Every now and than I see a post on facebook or twitter. It seems to be a subject that everyone is interested in.

When a baby comes home from the hospital and through its first couple of years, the color choice is very clear: pink for a girl and blue for a boy. When folks don't check gender ahead of time, they might build a wardrobe of neutral yellow, but no other colors are used. When children become old enough to dress all by themselves, what is a mom to do (or a dad) if the child wants the other color?

The Times magazine article I mentioned was written by Ruth Padawer who teaches at Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism. She does a pretty complete job of laying out facts, quoting experts, giving examples and getting folks talking. She does such a good job that, as I said, many are still discussing this. But what does it matter? Does a young boy's wardrobe choice directly influence who he becomes?

There are those who will condemn parents who allow a more fluid gender expression in their children. Are they wrong? Some of the things that really need to chance in this world of ours are negative attitudes. Is this an area where we need to do some re-thinking? Your thoughts are certainly welcome.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Happy birthday Mom

Today I expect will be a difficult day for me and my sister because this would have been Mom's 87th birthday and it of course is the first December now without her. 
 
I remember last year.  Mom and my sister had just moved to the Bay Area days before and so all three of us were going to spend the evening together - something we rarely had the chance to do in recent years.  I grabbed three roast beef sandwiches from Mom's favorite deli here in town (which has since closed down) and headed over to meet them.  It was a very quiet and simple birthday celebration and I remember telling Mom we would "do something bigger next year."

Mom had earlier in the day met a friend of mine who is a priest.  He went and brought her communion.  That evening when I was there, Mom said she really hit it off with him and that they had chatted like old friends.
 
My sister and I have both taken the day off from work and will spend the day together.  At some point we plan to go to the churchyard where Mom is buried.  Happy birthday Mom.  This is something bigger indeed.  Today you are with Daddy, and Nana, and Grandpa in paradise.  Happy birthday Mom.  Rest in peace.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The message of the season

It seems that every day there is something bad in the news. Some days are worse than others.  From schoolyard shootings to fatal pedestrian accidents, we see way too much of death in this season of our Savior's birth. How can we attend a party when we are thinking of the innocent lives lost?

I was thinking about this and it occurred to me that we have sorrow and joy even in our traditional Christmas observances. On the Church calendar for instance, the most holy night is December 24th and then the great day of our Lord's nativity comes next. Wonderful celebrating. What next though? The Church remembers the very first deacon, Saint Stephen - who was stoned to death! Just two days later we remember the horrific massacre of the Holy Innocents by Herod the Great. How can we not think this year of the twenty children killed in Newtown when we observe Holy Innocents Day, the biblical remembrance of that wicked infanticide which produced the first Christian martyrs?

Good and bad side by side. Nothing new. It has been that way for a long time. Should we just give up? Hardly! There is always a reason to keep on trying. There is always a reason to try and make a difference in the world!

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Gay in America

The picture to the left, is the cover of a book that sits on my coffee table, Gay in America. What a wonderful book it is! New York photographer Scott Pasfield documented the stories of 140 gay men, and has done a truly remarkable job. I saw CNN reporter Nina Raja ask Scott “What inspired you to take on this project?” His reply: “First and foremost I started this project to make a difference.”

Wow! Making a difference - that’s what we talk about here every day. There are so many ways to do it, and here Scott Pasfield shows us another one. He made a book he says he “wished existed when (he) was a kid, one that (he) could learn about the realities of being gay.”

How did I happen to notice the book? Well the cover is a photo of Dan Choi, whom we have written about here so many times. When reporter Raja asked Scott about the cover, his answer was long and told of his first meeting with Dan Choi, after all the other photos had been taken. He closed though by saying “And it only seemed right to put the soldier that fights for us all on the cover.” I agree.

I should point out that this isn't a new book - it's a few years old, but I hope you will pick up a copy. (I might make a nice Christmas gift).   Perhaps it will inspire you to go out there and make a difference too!

Monday, December 9, 2013

Toys for all

No, it is not Christmas yet - it is not even the Christmas season, despite what the stores may be telling you.  It is however a good time to think about kids who might not be fortunate enough to have toys and books and games to brighten their days.  Each year, starting around Thanksgiving, various organizations hold toy drives and then distribute those toys to needs children within a few days of Christmas.

You have all heard of the Marine Corps' Toys For Tots program.  That is probably the best know of them all since it has been around for a long time.  They not only accept donations of toys, but also will take money to purchase toys.  If you know a child in need and want to request a toy for them, click HERE to go to their site.

Similar toy drives take place all over the country.  Walgreens stores are collecting again this year.  There are collection barrels in all of their stores and they go to whatever agency they partner with locally (here in San Francisco for example, it is the Fire Department).

Brighten a child's day.  Donate a toy.  We aren't even talking about a lot of money here.  At Walgreens for example you can buy two toys for $6.99 each and get a third one for free.  Just about everyone can afford that!

Friday, December 6, 2013

By bread alone

Father Leo Patalinghug calls Grace Before Meals a "movement" that promotes the importance of families preparing and then eating meals together. (Wasn't there an old saying that "the family that eats together, stays together")? So much of what we do happens around a meal table.  It seems the good padre is on to something!

I wrote here about Father Leo several years ago.  He and I exchanged a few emails.  Father Leo really is an inspiration to me.  His faith is strong and his commitment to family is a joy!

When not busy teaching future priests at the seminary where he works, or speaking at a high school or college just about anywhere in the country, Father Leo hosts an internet and cable cooking show.  He also maintains a website for Grace Before Meals, and has written a book.  Also, he has lately been contributing a regular cooking show to the EWTN network.  Busy man, huh?

There are some wonderful food ideas at the Grace Before Meals website and there is also tons of additional information.  I invite you to check them out though for the grace you will receive and the lessons you can learn about sharing around a meal with friends and family.  Go to https://fatherleofeeds.com/ and find out more!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The toughest job you'll ever love



With so many remembrances of John Kennedy's Presidency these days, it is certainly a good time to talk about The Peace Corps because it was Kennedy who, by Executive Order on March 1, 1961, created the government-run agency.  (I was, I should note, talked about before Kennedy, but it was he who actually made it happen and then Congress authorized it on September 21, 1961, with passage of the Peace Corps Act).  In its 52 years, over 210,000 Americans have joined the Peace Corps and served in 139 countries.
 
The Slogan “The toughest job you will ever love” says volumes. President Jimmy Carter's mother Lillian served as a nurse Carter says she had "one of the most glorious experiences of her life" in the Peace Corps.  Political commentator Chris Matthews, This Old House host Bob Vila, author Paul Theroux, and film director Taylor Hackford also served.  The experience of a lifetime they all say.

The work they do all over the world continues and the need is always there.  There are three different types of volunteers and you can find out more on their website at http://www.peacecorps.gov/ - note that all volunteers must be US citizens and at least 18 year old.

Want to know more?  The website I mentioned is a very good source.  You can also subscribe to their newsfeed HERE.  Oh and age does not have to me a factor.  Mrs Carter applied when she was 68 years old!

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

no more Moishe's

Joe Sattler, owner of Moishe’s Pippic deli here in San Francisco's Hayes Valley, has called it quits.  that's right folks, Moishe’s Pippic is no more.

What a guy!  What a place!  Joe and his ever-faithful sandwich maker Able have been putting smiles on my face for years.  Both of their wives sometimes helped out.  It wasn't just a neighborhood shop.  Folks came from across the city.  Tourists visited too.  My mom enjoyed eating at Moishe’s Pippic and even had a nice roast beef sandwich from there on her last birthday.
 
Saturday was officially the last day but yesterday the sign went up.  I was sworn to secrecy last week when I found out. I didn't swear to sing the praises of Moishe's Pippic though.  How can a couple of guys running a deli, make a difference in this world?  I don't have the answer, but they sure did!
 
They will indeed be missed!

Monday, December 2, 2013

Sponsoring Jason makes a great holiday gift

A couple of months ago I told you about Jason Villalobos (that's him on the billboard) and how he has signed up again for AIDS LifeCycle and set his most ambitious fundraising goal ever. I've donated.  Many of you might have also given by now.  Yesterday was World AIDS Day.  Sponsoring Jason would be such a great way to make the day.  It would also make a great holiday gift. 
 
I've written here about Jason and his activism on a number of occasions - not just about LifeCycle, although I am particularly pleased to see him doing this again and again.  You see, Jason doesn't just participate, he has actually credited the Ride with giving him a new relationship to AIDS and to himself.
 
Jason used to live right above where this picture was taken and he was a fixture at rallies and gatherings there in the Castro.  You would see his face on posters like this and read his words in print and watch him speak at forums and on television.  Even though he has moved away to a small town, his contributions haven't become small.  Jason was just named one of this year’s POZ 100, a group of HIV-positive people who are unsung heroes in the fight against AIDS.
 
Click HERE if you can help by sponsoring Jason for any amount - all donations help!  He's riding again to raise awareness, funds, and to do his part to eliminate the stigma surrounding the disease. Won't you do your part too?