Being thankful

For what, if anything, are you thankful? We just celebrated Thanksgiving last week, but in the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic, I know a lot of people were asking "What's to be thankful for"? There is of course always a reason to be thankful.  Lots of reasons!

Wonderful Oprah Winfrey once said "Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough."  Excellent advice of course.

Sometimes it can be helpful to just take stock of all the good in our lives.  As we end this eleventh month of the year, take a moment and think about all the positive things - even small ones.  Think too of the people in your life who make a difference.  Think of your accomplishments and all that you hold dear.  Be thankful.

It's not about the food, it's about the thanks

Thanksgiving Day became an official Federal holiday in 1863, when, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." Families and friends get together and share meals, watch parades and football on tv, begin their holiday shopping, and enjoy each other's company.  As part of all of this, we pause and are grateful for all we have.

 

On Thanksgiving, some attend church services and some says prayers within their family gathering.  The significant thing here though is the thanks.  In addition to giving thanks to God, it is certainly wonderful to so our appreciation to each other and to all who have been a blessing in our lives.  Giving thanks can take many forms, but it is the key here.  It's not about the turkey, the pumpkin pie, or the Harold Square parade in New York.  All those other things are just added pieces of the celebration.  This year there will be a lot less gathering, but hopefully still a lot of thanks!

 

Yes it's been a tough year, but regardless of what you do or where you do it, and regardless of what you eat (even if it's just a small frozen dinner all by yourself), take a moment to think about all you are grateful for.  Give thanks to God by whatever name you call him, and be thankful for your friends and your family and all those who make a difference in your life.  Today is about thanks-giving!

Toys galore

When I think of gifts for children, the first thing that comes to mind is a teddy bear. Toys of all kinds warm the hearts of kids, especially the ones who have little or nothing. The biggest gift-giving occasion of the entire year of course is Christmas and that's now just a month away. Toy drives for needy kids truly make a difference! Consider giving. It really doesn't have to cost a lot.

 

There are stores that each year put out collection barrels for various toy drives.  The largest and best known is probably the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign.  Back in 1947 United States Marine Major Bill Hendricks got the ball rolling in Los Angeles, California, beginning with a handmade doll and continuing with a collection of some 5,000 toys for needy kids in his area.  

That program continues to this day but now spreads nationwide.  There is also the Angel Tree program which gives toys to kids with parents in prison.  It was in 1983 that the Prison Fellowship started their Angel Tree Christmas toy program. There are many regional and local programs too run by fire departments or police departments or other local organizations.  There might be one in your town.  Last year a friend of mine in Las Vegas did an incredible drive himself, reaching out to all his friends.

 

This is certainly not an easy year, but do what you can.  Check with your local schools, churches, police department, and local newspaper for toys drives that might exist in your area.  Perhaps you or an organization you are part of, would like to start your own collection process to help out too.  Remember, a toy in the hands of a child is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of a child who has nothing.

 

Fear Not

Reading through the Christian Bible, you will find a number of instances where people are going about their everyday activities, and suddenly and angel appears and says "Fear not." Really? Even another person appearing out of the middle of nowhere will startle you. An angel - a supernatural being, would seemingly create more fear. Calm down? No way!

Of course fear is nothing new and neither is hate that so often brings about that fear.  It was hate that ended the life of John F Kennedy on this date and there was a lot of fear afterward.  What was going to happen next?  Well, we lost other leaders and we continue to lost folks in our communities every day, because of hate.

Picture a man, driving with his young son, down a street and going about his everyday activities. Suddenly a police officer appears, and without any warning, shoots the man dead. The community leaders say "fear not," or another version of it. They appeal for calm. Really? A man shot to death in front of witnesses? That image will remain in their brains forever. Calm down? No way!

The amount of hate in the world seems to be rising by the minute. I'm particularly sad about the anti-Black, the anti-gay, the anti-poor, the anti-immigrant, the anti-trans, and the anti-women. (Oh and there are other groups that are hated too, but you get the idea). There seems to be very little collective will for social justice in this land of "liberty and justice for all." We need to get rid of this hate. Seriously. What good is it? Folks, we created the problem. We criminalized black, brown, trans, and poor people. We looked down on others and said they weren't good enough. We were wrong though. Everyone has merit. We created the problem. We can fix the problem. We need to want to though and we need to do more than urge calm and tell people they have nothing to fear.

Video footage I saw of a man being shot to death, while being held down by a police officer, made me sick to my stomach. We need to hold EVERYONE accountable for murder, especially the ones who are supposedly protecting us from crime. Fear not? How can you not be scared after seeing something like that? Maybe I will be next. Maybe my boss or my friend or my sister will be shot, and left to die.

People hold up signs saying Black Lives Matter, but I want to see proof! If any lives matter we need to wake up and end the hate and discrimination. If you agree with me, pick up your phone and call your neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers, and anyone who will listen to you, and urge positive action. Let me be clear about what I am saying here. Our legislators need to pass laws that treat people equally and our courts need to prosecute offenders - ALL offenders, vigorously and to the full extent of the law. We cannot allow any lawlessness. Everyone needs to be accountable. If your senator or congressperson or local leaders cannot or will not work for positive change, then vote them out of office! Did you notice how many of the haters were just re-elected?

Don't forget the Black men killed in so many different places just because of who they were. Don't forget Orlando and the men and women killed in a gay club. Don't forget the police officers killed in Dallas. Don't forget all the instances of hate. Nobody should have to live in fear! Let's get going! Let's make a difference! This is our world, and it should not be filled with hate and fear. 

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, begun in 1999 to memorialize the murder of transgender woman Rita Hester in Allston, Massachusetts.  It has spread around the world with some places giving a more official recognition.  In Ontario, Canada the province unanimously passed the Trans Day of Remembrance Act in 2017, and the Legislative Assembly there is now required to hold a moment of silence every year on November 20.

So what else happens on this day? Typically there is a reading of the names of those who lost their lives from November 20 of the former year to November 20 of the current year. Sometimes there are speakers, marches, and candlelight vigils. Newspapers will often devote a separate section today as well.

This is a sad occasion though - make no mistake about it.  Transphobic violence is a frightening occurrence that spreads fear to the transgender community and to their families and friends.  That violence so often leads to death.  Nobody should have to live in fear, yet many transgender people are even afraid to use public restrooms.  This needs to change, not only here in the United States, but around the world.  Trans violence is a hate crime that, when it occurs, needs to be fully prosecuted.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is an observance that I would like to see disappear, because the murder of our trans sisters and brothers needs to stop.  We can do it.  Take a stand against hate.  Don't let it continue.

She's still the People's Choice

There will be those, there always are, who will disagree with this recognition given out last night, at the People's Choice Awards.  Ellen DeGeneres has been called a bully and has battled claims of a toxic workplace environment on her show. I have written about her a number of times in this space, including those claims made against here. Well last night in Santa Monica, Ellen accepted the E! People's Choice Award for best daytime talk show. 

From the stage, she credited the award to her "amazing crew and amazing staff" and said "I love them all; I thank them for what they do every day to help that show be the best that we try to make it every single day." Ellen also thanked her fans for sticking by her.

Although this blog is NOT about me, I do continue to stick with Ellen.  I do not know her personally and was not present at her talk show, but I have seen the good wholesome entertainment presented and I have seen the many kind acts done by Ellen for so many people.  She has made a positive difference in the lives of a lot of people.  I once had the pleasure of meeting her mother Betty, and it's had to believe that such a nice woman could raise a bully.

Thank you Ellen DeGeneres for the laughter, for the inspiration, and for all the good you have done for our world.  I appreciate you, and from what I saw last night, so do a lot of others!

Writing ideas

You might think I would run out of writing ideas after doing this blog every day for so many years.  No so!  I still have tons and tons of ideas!  We will certainly revisit the historic election that just took place and what it means for our future.  So much can be said about the racism that is present all over this land.  The COVID-19 pandemic is of great concern too.  This blog began though spotlighting specific actions and people who are making a difference, and I would love to say more about them.

Certain people have gotten multiple mentions here, like Toan Lam, Ellen DeGeneres, Lance Bass, Jason Chu, and others.  Some folks get written about without a name mention.  Sometimes I have told you about events, without going in to as much detail as I would like.  Often this is because I only have access to limited information.  This is one reason why I often invite you to share comments.

I will certainly be sharing more stories of other hometown heroes. I don't seem to be hearing of them as much as I used to.  (Make suggestions about that also in your comments).  I love sharing those heartwarming tales when I come across them.  Oh and the suggestions about how we can all give back.  There are so very many ways, and so there is always something to write about there.  How is sharing different during this pandemic?  How will the upcoming holidays change because of COVID-19.

 

Oh and one more thing I want to mention once again today is YOU.  This blog has never been about me - it's about making a difference in the world.  That making a difference is something we all can do and so many of the suggestions and ideas are ones that I'm sure you have also.

I can almost smell the turkey!

November is the favorite month of the year for many, and Thanksgiving Day is a big reason why. Since I was just a kid I have always loved Thanksgiving and while I know it is still a couple weeks away, I can almost smell the turkey now! I thought I'd take a moment to talk about what it all means.

First of all, as much as I love turkey, I really don't like the nickname "Turkey Day." Thanksgiving is so much more of course. (Not to mention that not everyone eats turkey, although I don't know why). As much fun as the football games are, and the huge feast, and the preparations for Christmas, the big thing is coming together and giving thanks. Some other countries do similar observances, but only Canada does pretty much the same customs as in the US, except that theirs is a bit earlier, in October.  The holiday has traditionally been a celebration of the blessings of the (agricultural) year, including the harvest. More recently a lot of folks have included all blessings that have come their way during the year (and some folks, during their lifetime).  Families generally gather to celebrate and often in larger number than at any other time during the year.  This year because of the pandemic there will be less travel and perhaps a lot of zoom Thanksgivings.

 

So giving thanks and being together with family and friends is what it's all about.  Now of course we didn't have to wait until today.  Being thankful all the time would be great.  2020 has been a crazy year, but there have been good things along the way.  If you are reading this, one good thing is that you are still around.  Let's always be thankful, not on just one day!

Now what?

Long week, huh?

Now what?

I really think there will be some news within the next few hours, but regardless of the outcome, remember that roughly half of the country wants the others candidate. I keep thinking about that. I keep looking at those maps from election night, maps which we keep seeing as we hear the latest tally. I happen to live in a community where the majority voted the opposite of me. Oh my!

I keep hearing people talk about the President and Vice President - wanting change, or wanting things to stay as they are. Regardless of which side you are on, please not of the enormous number of people who disagree with you. As I see it we need to change some minds. We need to change some hearts. We need to bring our country together. We need more love and more kindness. Seriously. These aren't just words. This is a very real mission. 

Transphobia, racism, homophobia, all kinds of hate - it HAS TO GO! If you disagree, please tell me why below. If you think the United States is perfect and nothing needs to change, please enlighten me. I will listen. My opinion though is that we have a LOT of work to do. We can do it though. I believe that. We have the power. We have the ability.

While we are waiting

While we are waiting for election results to all be clear and to be certified, let's all take a deep breath and get back to being good neighbors, good citizens.  I was thinking especially about random acts of kindness.  Feeding the hungry seems to be at the top of most lists, but there are so many ways to do this.  So today I give you a list, in no particular order, of various random acts of kindness, many of which cost little or nothing and take very little time.  Maybe some of these will give you ideas of your own!  

Here's a simple one: call, text, or email some folk you know have little contact with others (which during this pandemic, is many of us).

Sing an employee's praises to their manager or on a comment card — a little recognition goes a long way. Believe it or not, people complain more often than praise even though most workers deserve the praise more often than the complaint.

 

Load extra money in vending machines to buy the next person's snacks when they come along.  It will be a pleasant surprise for them!  Leaving a few coins out at the laundromat does the same thing.

 

When paying for your breakfast in a restaurant, ask for the check of a random diner (especially someone who is elderly or who is dining alone) and pay it without their knowing.

Help a friend see today in a wondrous new light: present them with a kaleidoscope. They really aren't very expensive and are available in most toy stores.

Vulnerable people may be avoiding all public places and so some may need groceries or medical supplies.  Volunteer to pick things up for them and assure them they don't need to make physical contact with you.

Practice physical distancing and wear a mask whenever you are in public.

 

My list could go on and on of course.  Perhaps you would like to add your own suggestions in the comments section below.

still waiting

Yes, we are still waiting, and as frustrating as this is, it is normal. It is not unexpected. Counting takes time. When will we know who has been elected President? Well there really is no answer to that. It could be today or it might be next week. And so, we wait.

We do know about a lot of the races from Tuesday. Many good things happened, chief among them was participation. Records numbers of people cast ballots this year, and that certainly is a good thing. Also, while the Blue wave many predicted didn't really materialize, there was a Rainbow wave of sorts.

Four transgender and nonbinary politicians won in state contests. Among them is Sarah McBride, who will be the highest-ranking trans legislator in the country, serving as Delaware’s first transgender state senator. New York State will be sending two Black gay men to the House of Representatives.

In Nevada, a ballot question that adds marriage equality to the state constitution (and also overturns an amendment voters approved in 2002 to ban same-sex marriage), passed by a wide margin. Regardless of what might happen in the US Supreme Court in the future, married gay couples in Nevada are secure in their marriages now.

San Diego voters elected Democratic state Assemblymember Todd Gloria as their first LGBTQ mayor. He is also the first person of color elected to lead that Southern California city. (Gloria briefly served as San Diego's interim mayor in 2013 and 2014).

There was a time of course when being LGBTQ would mean no votes (or certainly not enough to win), but that is no longer the case. Numerous officials were re-elected yesterday. Scott Wiener will continue in the California State Senate and Sam Park in the Georgia House of Representatives.

This was also the first time ever that an openly gay person was so visible in the Presidential race and while Pete Buttigieg didn't make it to the General Election, we will certainly be hearing more from him. Perhaps a cabinet position in a new administration? There is no answer to that just yet. And so, we wait.

I still have hope

You may have heard that two neighbors in Texas recently made headlines for being friendly toward each other. One of them is a Republican and the other is a Democrat, and yet they are friendly. This is news because our country has become so polarized. Waking up this morning, I can clearly see the picture as I look at election returns.

The results of yesterday's election are incomplete and vote counting is ongoing, so I won't go into specific numbers. It is very clear though there there is no agreement on who should be in the White House. States are sharply divided on Congressional races too. I don't get it. Seriously. Can anyone explain why there is such a large disagreement.

Yesterday I was hopeful about certain candidates being elected. Some of them did, and that's wonderful, but in many places people made (what appear to me to be) ridiculous decisions. In North Dakota a blue wave that had been predicted, never materialized. In fact a Republican state legislature candidate who died a month ago of COVID-19 won the election! There are many races where at this early hour, we still don't know how it will turn out, but the division in our country is obvious.

I still have hope.  I'm not just hoping that certain candidates are elected or certain measures pass.  I'm also hoping for a united country.  No, we don't have to agree on everything, but let's start with basic human rights and common courtesies.  A polarized nation is not a healthy nation.  If there isn't a leader to take us there, let's do it ourselves.  We can heal the country.  We can end the hate.  We can stop the division.  We have the power.  At least that is my hope.

Comes the moment to decide

This morning I was torn between quoting a children's book, Johnny Tremain or a poem, which is known by many as a hymn, or baseball great Jackie Robinson's autobiography which also came to mind. They all seem significant to me, especially this morning.

It is Election Day in the United States and if it seems to be a bigger deal this year, it actually is. If more people had been involved - if more folks had stood up, things would not be so critical. It's not a new problem at all.  The hate and discrimination and lack of respect has been building for quite some time.

First, Jackie Robinson: "There I was, the black grandson of a slave, the son of a black sharecropper, part of a historic occasion, a symbolic hero to my people. The air was sparkling. The sunlight was warm. The band struck up the national anthem. The flag billowed in the wind. It should have been a glorious moment for me as the stirring words of the national anthem poured from the stands. Perhaps, it was, but then again, perhaps, the anthem could be called the theme song for a drama called The Noble Experiment. Today, as I look back on that opening game of my first world series, I must tell you that it was Mr. Rickey’s drama and that I was only a principal actor. As I write this twenty years later, I cannot stand and sing the anthem. I cannot salute the flag; I know that I am a black man in a white world. In 1972, in 1947, at my birth in 1919, I know that I never had it made."

Think about those words. I can't help think of Robinson's autobiography every time I see all the positive thing done by Colin Kaepernick (who celebrates his birthday today). When will we actually pay attention? When will we change. I thought about how things were way back in grade school when I first read the historical fiction novel, Johnny Tremain, by Esther Forbes. Young Johnny keeps reminding himself of the phrase, "So that a man can stand up." In fact it becomes his personal war cry, and he repeats it to himself several times in the book. That phrase has stayed with me. I suppose it might be my own battle cry.

We are at a moment of decision dear readers. Let us choose wisely. "Once to ev'ry man and nation Comes the moment to decide, In the strife of truth and falsehood, For the good or evil side." If you recognize those words, they come from the beginning of a familiar hymn. (Sing it to yourself. I put the music above). The words are from a larger work of poetry entitled “The Present Crisis,” written in 1845 by James Russell Lowell, as a protest against the US war with Mexico. Like Robinson's story and Tremain's battle cry, these words too can inspire us and move us forward.

Yes, today is Election Day. Today is our moment to decide so that a man can stand up - so that we all can stand up.

Come Holy Ghost

Today marks an anniversary that I will long remember.  It was seventeen years ago that The Most Reverend Frank Tracy Griswold and six co-consecrating bishops, laid hands on the Reverend V Gene Robinson, making him a Bishop of the Episcopal Church and the first one to be openly gay at the time of his consecration.  It was a great day.  It was a happy day.  It was a giant step for Christians.  It was also a day filled with controversy.

 

I wasn't there in Durham, New Hampshire that day, but I watched every single moment as it streamed live. It's interesting for me to revisit the consecration of  Bishop Gene Robinson because we really have come a long way since then.  The Episcopal Church has since elected and consecrated other gay bishops.  Other denominations are ordaining openly gay clergy too.  Marriage equality has come to many parts of the world including this country.  Still there is a long way to go.

 

One thing that stands out in my mind is the danger that was feared.   Robinson had to wear a bullet proof vest!  They even had a contingency plan if shots were fired or a bomb went off. If Robinson was still alive there was another place he was to be taken to along with Presiding Bishop Griswold and two other bishops and the consecration would go forward with a photographer also present to prove it happened. I remember this because on such a joyful day there was also this dread.

 

Progress doesn't  just have happy moments. There are those fearful, dreadful times too.  We need to have our Gene Robinsons to help pave our ways.  The Holy Spirit was there in that place and continues to be with us ready to kindle the fire in our hearts.  We cannot give up.  We have to continue to look to the future and to more wonderful moments like the day when hands were laid on the man who, as a child had perfect Sunday School attendance for thirteen years and who, as an adult became a symbol of hope for all who value equality.  Perhaps tomorrow's election will give us another symbol of hope.