Resolve to help make true equality come

All month we have celebrated LGBTQ+ Pride, and that has even been our focus here in this space.  For many people though, tomorrow will be a return to things not as happy and joyous.  People go to Pride celebrations in part to celebrate freedom and equality, but sadly, there are many places where that doesn't exist.

Looking at the history and the trailblazers and the changes in attitude is good to do each year.  There still is a long way to go though before everyone is treated with dignity and respect.  There are those who are still trying to pass laws that take away basic human rights.

How wonderful it would be if there were no need for Pride events.  How great if society treated all people equally and with true justice and respect.  Sadly, that isn't the case.  

Tomorrow, instead of going back to a business as usual attitude, think about these past thirty days.  Be happy for the celebrations.  Be happy for the advancements.  Be happy for the tremendous strides over the past few decades the progress in visibility.  Be happy that marriage equality is the law now in much of the world.  Do not forget, while being happy, that there still is a long way to go and resolve to help make that true equality day come.

Happy birthday Mikey

Right up front I'll tell you I have never met Mikey Bustos but have followed him for years on social media.  He is very talented, and I hope that after reading this, you will check him out, if you don't already know of him.  That's not really enough reason to be writing about him here though, right?  Well dear readers, Mikey is making a difference in this world (the primary thing we write about here) and just two years ago he came out as bi, so that keeps with our month-long theme.

 

Happy, joyful, upbeat, inspiring - these are all words I can use to describe Mikey Bustos.  Check out pictures of him and you will see a lot of smiles.  Watch his videos and you'll find yourself watching them over and over and probably even singing along.  Yes, is not unusual for entertainers to make us feel good, but Mikey does it with a special spirit that lets you know he loves life.

 

Mikey let the world know that he is bi.  For all the non-gay readers, let me tell you this can be one of the most difficult things a person does in their life, but also the most rewarding.  No longer do you have to worry about folks finding out.  You can now forever be yourself.  (Please note that there are still many places where your physical safety may be in jeopardy if you are part of the LGBTQ community, and while this is something I hope is changed over time, I do not encourage anyone to put themselves in danger).  Oh by the way, Mikey already has a man in his life.

 

You can find out more about this young Canadian Filipino at his website https://mikeybustosvideos.com or by clicking HERE to watch his videos on youtube.  Today is his birthday too, so send along your good wishes!

Representation matters

It is the last week of LGBTQ Pride Month, and if you were expecting something big, yesterday you got it! Carl Paul Nassib, defensive end for the Las Vegas Raiders of the National Football League, announced via Instagram, that he is gay.

"What’s up people, I’m at my house in West Chester, Pennsylvania. I just wanted to take a quick moment to say that I’m gay." 

No big fanfare, just a simple social media statement.  Most of the world has already seen it and I don't think I have ever seen such an outpouring of support.

Nassib further said "I’ve been meaning to do this for a while now but finally feel comfortable getting it off my chest. I really have the best life, the best family, friends and job a guy can ask for. I’m a pretty private person so I hope you guys know that I’m not doing this for attention. I just think that representation and visibility are so important."

Representation and visibility are indeed important. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said so too when he released a statement last night praising Nassib for "courageously sharing his truth." Goodell said in part "Representation matters. We share his hope that someday soon statements like his will no longer be newsworthy as we march toward full equality for the LGBTQ+ community.

Commissioner Goodell's words came just as I was thinking the same thing. It's too bad this is newsworthy. It's too bad announcements like Nassib's are so important. Until we achieve that full equality though, coming out is a big deal - a very big deal.

One more piece of news: Carl Nassib added a link on his Instagram page for The Trevor Project, an organization working to prevent suicide among LGBTQ+ youth, and said he will be donating $100,000 to them. A great organization.  Check them out https://www.thetrevorproject.org/  Happy Pride!

The NonProfits

Working to promote equality, eliminate discrimination, provide access to healthcare, housing, and education to protect basic rights for the LGBTQ community, there are numerous organizations.  In some large cities there are many local non profits, but there are regional, national, and even international nonprofits as well.  They are doing important work and they need our support.

So who are these nonprofits? One of my favorites is PFLAG. Support from families is something that is tragically denied so many LGBTQ young people and PFLAG aims to advance equality through a threefold mission of support, education, and advocacy, with the support of parents, families, friends, and allies. They really are amazing. Go to https://pflag.org/ to learn more about them. The Transgender Law Center is also very dear to my heart.   Go to https://transgenderlawcenter.org/ for more on them.  Also check out The Trevor Project at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ and Human Rights Campaign at https://www.hrc.org/ - HRC is the largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization in this country. I'd also like you to know about the San Francisco Community Health Center, which is not LGBTQ specific, but is an outstanding organization which advances health, wellness, and equality for people of all sexual orientations, gender identities, races, and immigration statuses. There website is at https://sfcommunityhealth.org/

Some nonprofits cover a broad area of service and others are more centered in a specific area, such as law or health.  As with LGBTQ owned businesses, sometimes it is hard to find them, but a quick internet search for the place where you live, should at least give you a starting place.  The ones I mentioned are some of my favorites, but there are many others that are worthy of our support.  June being Pride Month, is an excellent time to look closer at this groups.

Also during June this year, like last year, we have an extended Give OUT Day (the only national day of giving specifically for the LGBTQ community). Give OUT Day is June 30, but this year the campaign lasts throughout the entire month! For more about that or to make a donation, go to https://www.giveoutday.org/

Ellen and Betty

Ellen DeGeneres just might have been written about here in this space, more than any other person.  I like her.  She makes me happy.  I would love to meet her some day.  I did have the joy of meeting her mother Betty years ago, and her love and kindness was immediately apparent.

Ellen has come under fire for being mean and for having a hostile workplace environment.  Although I'm very suspicious of these accusations (the Ellen I see is kind, caring, and generous), I have no direct knowledge, and so won't go in to that.  I will point out the fact that Ellen DeGeneres has done a LOT of good for the LGBTQ community.

Coming out was perhaps not a great career move (it did result in not working for a while), it was good and right to live as her true self.  The public support from her mother made a difference too.  Very supportive she is!  Betty DeGeneres is an active member of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and was the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project.

The generous acts of Ellen are legendary.  She gives privately all the time and her very public acts of giving on her tv talk show occur all the time.  I'd like to know how many families and how many individuals have been helped out and had their lives changed because of Ellen DeGeneres.  Of course Ellen's very visible marriage to Portia Lee James DeGeneres is also a positive sign for the LGBTQ community.

Thank you Ellen and thank you Betty.  You both are continuing to make a very positive difference every single day.

We like her

From her days as Gidget, Sister Bertrille, Sally Burton, Sybil, and Norma Rae, we have loved Sally Field as an actress. She has been awarded two Academy Awards, three Emmys, two Golden Globe Awards, and a Screen Actors Guild Award. She was indeed correct telling us "You like me, right now, you like me!"

There are so many more reasons though to like Sally Field and one is because she is a active LGBTQ ally.  Now I know that everyone should be an ally, but that just isn't so.  Some are more vocal about their support like Lin-Manuel Miranda whom I wrote about yesterday, or California Governor Gavin Newsom, who got the ball rolling for marriage equality.  Sally speaks out for various reasons, and one is because she loves her openly gay son.

As I mentioned, Sally has received a lot of awards. One though was not for acting. Sally was awarded the Human Rights Campaign's Ally for Equality Award in 2012 and watching her acceptance was very moving. After being introduced that night by her son Sam Greisman, Sally told the audience "Sam was different, and his journey to allow himself what nature intended him to be was not an easy one. As his mother, I consider it one of the great privileges of my life to be part it.” (That award ceremony is available on youtube HERE).

Thank you Sally Field and thanks to every single ally for making a difference.  By the way, tomorrow I am going to write about another ally and her famous daughter.

Adam Bouska

During this Pride Month, I've been writing here about LGBTQ events and heroes.  Ever heard of Adam Bouska?  His name might not be as well known as some of the others I have written about, but I'm sure you have seen his work. Openly gay Adam is an American fashion photographer who was best known for his pictures of male models, until the NOH8 campaign.  That's him in the picture.

It was back in 2009 that Adam and partner Jeff Parshley, in response to the passage of Proposition 8, began NOH8. The photographs feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, (symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 or other legislation), with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest, as in the photo here of Adam.  LGBTQ leaders and many celebrities were pictured at the start of Adam's NOH8 campaign and folks who believe in equality are still being photographed in this manner.

The photography of Adam Bouska has also been a part of fundraisers for HIV/AIDS, marriage equality, and pet adoptions.  Examples of his photos and more about Adam can be found on his website at http://www.adambouska.com/

Respect

Some of you may have been following the story of a public school teacher on the East Coast, who claims that using trans students' preferred pronouns would "damage children, defile the holy image of God." The more I know about this story, the more worked up I get, and so I just had to write something this morning.

First, more from the teacher: "I love all of my students, but I will never lie to them regardless of the consequences. I’m a teacher but I serve God first. And I will not affirm that a biological boy can be a girl and vice versa because it is against my religion. It’s lying to a child. It’s abuse to a child. And it’s sinning against our God."

Back in the 60s, world the heavyweight champion announced that he no longer would be known by his birth name, but as Muhammad Ali instead. There were so many who wouldn't give him that basic respect though and continued using his dead name.  Most transgender people change their name as do many other people for various reasons.  Gerald R Ford's name was changed from his birth name.  Respect says that I will call you what you want to be called.  This extends beyond just your name but also includes pronouns.  I personally prefer to be called he and referred to as him.  Anything else is just plain rude.  

Now this teacher was suspended without pay because he refused to respect trans students' pronouns.  The school district suspended him and now the teacher is suing the school district.  Yesterday a judge ruled that the teacher was exercising his free speech and ordered the school to "immediately reinstate the plaintiff to his position as it was prior to the issuance of his suspension."

In my opinion, this teacher's argument is specious and in no way reflective of faith, only of an attempt to misuse faith to protect his own prejudice.  It's just the latest in a series of attacks on our transgender sisters and brothers.  Certainly the teacher has a right to his own beliefs and opinions, but he does not have the right to be rude and disrespectful.  If we are talking about sin and disrespecting God, I can think of nothing more sinful than showing hate toward other human beings.

Checking in with Kenneth

Those of you who read this regularly, may recall me writing about this gentleman last year. He is Kenneth Felts, a Colorado man originally from Kansas, who last year, at the age of 90 came out as gay!  The story warmed my heart when I first heard it and it continues to bring joy to those who think it's too late to come out.  

While writing his memoirs, he accidentally came out to his daughter, and she was accepting and he thought he should tell his friends too. It was on facebook that he made a short post, but the setting was public, so anyone and everyone could see it. It became a big news story with everyone writing about this 90-year-old man coming out. He was even interviewed on Australian television. Recently there was an article in Japan. (Click HERE to read the story, which is in Japanese, but there are pictures). It was viewed 440,000 times in its first week and was the most read article among all special articles in NHK that week. He has another one coming up for a Colorado Springs newspaper

I've been fortunate to chat with Kenneth a bit, mostly about his fundraising for his local LGBTQ center.  I'm so happy that Kenneth is sharing his story with the world. It might encourage others to live as their true self. Is he happy these days?  Yes indeed.  (Look at his smile).  Oh and he met a guy and they're been dating, and are now living together!  Kenneth recently said "I still cry for what might have been." I think that can be a good lesson for us all.  I'm glad though, even this late in the game, that he has found happiness.

She did it all

Words like icon and trailblazer are often tossed about and almost seem to lose their meaning, but Felicia Elizondo truly was those things, and Felicia Elizondo did it all. She was a drag performer, a phone operator, a nurse's aide, a clerk, a receptionist, a sex worker, and many other things. I think the thing I will remember her most though is her activism.

I have written about her here before, the last time though was the hardest. Last month, Felicia passed away, and I wanted to be sure people knew of her. Felicia said she was a Mexican-American “sissy” back in 1950s Texas, a “hair fairy” in 1960s San Francisco, and finally a transsexual woman from the 1970s forward.  Hair fairy:  I never heard anyone else ever use that term.  Oh and the stories she could tell.  She called herself a survivor, and indeed she was.  Nobody should have to endure so many hurdles, but Felicia did and it made her stronger.

She was involved in so many projects in the years that I knew her, including the TransMarch in San Francisco, held every year at the start of Pride Weekend. I think though she was most proud of was getting the 100 block of Turk Street in San Francisco renamed Vicki Mar Lane in honor of drag performer Vicki Marlane, with whom she'd been friends.  Felicia worked with local government and stayed with the project until it happened.  Oh and the smile on her face the day of the unveiling was priceless.  

I remember her appearance on the old Phil Donohue show and I remember our lunches at the Olive Garden.  I remember the fundraisers and her speeches on the steps of San Francisco City Hall.  Many called her Felicia Flames, which seems particularly appropriate now, because I know her flame will burn forever.  Thanks Felicia for paving the way.

Walking through June

June is the beginning of a special month. Yes, it is the beginning of summer, but there is something else. Think about it. In the mean time, here is a list of twenty people. You have no doubt heard of them or at least most of them. Read the list and then tell me what they have in common. I'll give you a clue - it's the same as the month of June.

Jane Addams (1860-1935)

James Baldwin (1924-1987)

George Choy (1960-1993)

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)

Keith Haring (1958-1990)

Harry Hay (1912-2002)

Sylvester James (1947-1988)

Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989)

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

Del Martin (1921-2008)

Yukio Mishima (1925-1970)

Bayard Rustin (1912-1987)

Randy Shilts (1951-1994)

Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)

Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Tom Waddell (1937-1987)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

So, what do they have in common? Well, they are all part of the LGBTQ community and they were all the initial honorees of the Rainbow Honor Walk in San Francisco's Castro District. David Perry had this great idea about honoring pioneers in the LGBTQ+ community, people who laid the groundwork for LGBTQ+ rights, and to teach us all and future generations about these heroes. I've written about the Rainbow Honor Walk here before, and you really should check in out when in San Francisco. More information (including a list of all the honorees and their biographies) can be found on their website at http://rainbowhonorwalk.org/  

Oh and about June?  Well this is LGBTQ Pride Month, and so I'm going to spend some time here in this space to do a little of what the Rainbow Honor Walk does, but not only will I look at people here, I'm also going to write about some events and some places and some ideas.  I hope you will look in each day as we walk through June and this LGBTQ Pride Month.