From the obituary

May they rest in peace

"Jeffrey Robert Conn, 75, and Linda Kay Conn, 76, of Sylvania, died days apart during Thanksgiving week from COVID-19," begins a recent obituary for an Ohio couple. I didn't know the Conns and although they were pretty well known in their own community, folks outside of that small Toledo suburb probably wouldn't recognize their name. I'm writing about them though because of words their children wrote in their parent's obituary.

"In lieu of flowers the family requests that you simply wear a mask when you are out in public and practice social distancing. It is not a difficult thing to do. It is not an infringement on your freedom or civil liberties. It is literally the least, smallest thing you can do to help reduce the risk that vulnerable members of our community will die unnecessarily and leave their loved ones heartbroken and devastated."

Wise words and accurate ones too. The newspaper account also said "Jeff and Linda will be remembered by their children as the most loving, caring, supportive, protective and generous parents any child could hope for." They sound like wonderful people. I know they will long be remembered. I'll remember their children for the important message they sent in their time of grief: "wear a mask when you are out in public and practice social distancing."

Countdown

 Ten Days Until Christmas Begins

The song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" really gets it right.  This year I think we need it more than ever, and I hope all lot of folks will celebrate all twelve days.  To be safe, we really shouldn't be getting together, but decorations that others can see is a great way to go.  I also love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  

This year has required a lot of re-inventing, so let's keep it going.  Watch those wonderful holiday movies and tv programs.  Listen to the wonderful music.  Get of the phone and send good wishes to folks you wish you could be with.  Did you stop sending Christmas cards?  Perhaps this is the year to bring back that tradition.  Let yourself be wrapped up in joy, despite all the difficulties in the world.

How else might we celebrate this wonderful time?  Let us hear your comments.  Be creative.  Spread the happiness and joy all over!

Not Kiddo

 Call me as I wish  

Just about everyone has heard about The Wall Street Journal column last week, where Joseph Epstein suggested soon-to-be first lady Jill Biden stop using the title "doctor" with her name. Well, even though just about everyone has had something to say, I'd like to add my thoughts.

First of all I want to say how much I admire and respect Dr Biden, and yes I will call her that because that's what she prefers.  It really doesn't need to go any further than that.  A person's name, including any title, is a personal thing, and not to use their preferred form of address is simply rude.  You would certainly not use "Kiddo," unless you were being deliberately rude.

I need to thank Joseph Epstein though. His column has opened a lot of dialogue and has even caused me to rethink something. Here in the United States, we primarily use "doctor" to refer to those who practice medicine. I get it. Perhaps it's time for us all to rethink this though. The word "doctor" comes rom Latin docēre to teach.  Isn't that exactly what Dr Jill Biden does at Northern Virginia Community College?

Now I'll admit that I have long felt that titles and degrees are best used when they best relate to the situation.  My mother would sign chart entries "E. Louise Fullam, RN."  She never signed birthday cards to me that way though.  I have a number of physician friends that I would never dream of calling doctor, but if I was speaking of them to someone who might be a patient, I most certainly would.

At the end of the day though, I think it's important to look at someone's preference.  As with personal pronouns, it is rude to call them anything other that what they prefer.

Christmas is coming

But not yet

It's almost time, but still not yet. The familiar tale of a bright star in the heavens that led a group of wise men to Jerusalem to visit the newborn Jesus over 2,000 years ago will be told again this year, but not yet. That story comes at the end of the season. It is on the last day of Christmas that we celebrate the three kings. Before that we tell of the birth, but not yet.

 

I know this has been a horrible year and even as a child I could hardly wait for Christmas, but it simply isn't here yet regardless of what others may say.  It's amazing to me that every single year we seem to get earlier and earlier. I think I have mentioned at an old department store used to have Christmas displays up on my birthday - which is in August! Please don't think I'm a Scrooge.  I like Christmas a lot.  It's perhaps my favorite time of the year, but not yet.

 

I think that every day is special.  We can help the poor and we can give toys to needy kids and we can make a difference in the world, every single day.  We don't need to pretend that Christmas is four months long (or more).  And lest we forget, they say holiday season for a reason.  There are several holidays at this time of year and some of them last for more than a day.  So let's take our time and enjoy them all.  Let's take each holiday and celebration in turn.  When December 25th rolls around, we will have plenty of time to celebrate - twelve days, as a matter of fact.

 

One of the reasons people often get so depressed at this time of year is that there is such a rush and such a big demand for a celebration, before it's even time.  Then, when the time comes, people calmly walk away and say it's over.  No!  Don't do that.  Let the celebration continue.  Don't put your Christmas tree out on the curb on December 25th.  Celebrate those twelve days, even if nobody else does.  There will be an after-Christmas period, and it might be a little blue, but don't rush to it.  There is going to be some good in January too, but not yet.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Different

Maybe David Bowie's famous song was about the frequent changes in our world, the frequent reinventions of his own musical style back in the day when he sang it, or perhaps it was about his ever-changing personality. I don't have an answer, but for some reason his hit song Changes, was on my mind when I woke up this morning. 2020 certainly has been a year of changes!

How many of us would like to work from home or? What about homeschooling? Who would have thought staying away from other people would become normal behavior? The COVID-19 pandemic has made us rethink so many things and yes, to also make many changes. Recently I encountered issues with technology and as a result had to make changes. Of course the national political landscape is seeing a lot of changes too. The great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill once said "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." Well this year just might be moving us to perfection!

So many of us are becoming more aware of our friends and neighbors - how can we help them? How can we let them know we care? We now wear masks on a regular basis. Many of us use grocery delivery these days. Working from home and having meeting via the internet is the new normal. How many people have found new ways of making money (such as making and selling masks)? 

Years ago, a wonderful friend of mine taught me a different way of looking at things. He actually used that word: different. It's not that something is necessarily better than something else. Just look at it as different. Author and minister Joyce Meyer say "Don't be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning." New isn't always good or bad. It's just different.

Good News Bad News

 Good News/Bad News

Oh my!  What a year this has been, huh?  It seems like every time we see good news, it comes along with some bad.  ENOUGH!  Yes, the world is not hw we might want it, but I choose to celebrate the good.  There is a lot of it out there after all.  In the midst of this pandemic and hard times, I keep hearing of people doing incredible things.  Let's have more of that.  

Did you see who Time chose as Person of the Year?  Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.  That was an encouraging sign and indeed some good news.  Oh and we are getting closer each day to having the CODID-19 vaccine available.  More good news.

There is bad - a LOT of it, but I'm not going to list it here.  Instead, I want to encourage us all to keep working for the good.  We can make this a better world.  We can make lots of good news.  Together we can truly make a difference!

Beginning tonight

The Festival of Lights

It is not mentioned in the Torah but Hanukkah is one of the most joyous and highly anticipated Jewish festivals of the entire year. It's the Festival of Lights and tells the story of the Maccabees, and their victory over their oppressors and the miracle of the menorah burning for eight full days.

Potato latkes, beef brisket, sufganiyot, and gelt are just some of the yummies our Jewish friends will be enjoying as Hanukkah begins tonight. It is NOT Jewish Christmas. It is a celebration of something completely different and with different traditions. Oh and while Christmas is twelve days long, Hanukkah is celebrated for a duration of eight days, ending this year on Friday, December 18th.

So, tonight or tomorrow, be sure to wish all of your Jewish friends a Happy Hanukkah!

Absence

MORE  TO  COME

It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Oh dear!  That isn't why I've been gone.  It's actually been due to internet availability.  Yes, even in 2020 there are still moments when technology is not there when we want it.  

There are still many more stories to tell though, so keep checking back.  I do hope we will return to our regular daily basis tomorrow or at least this week.  There indeed is more to come.  Until then, scroll backwards and read some of the stories you may have missed from the past.

One more thing:  Stay safe!

Protecting your identity

If you have ever had your identity stolen, you know what a hassle it can be. Actually it's more of a horror. If this is something you have never heard about, it is not literally possible to steal an identity of course, what we are talking about here is when anyone uses your personally identifying information, like your name, your driver's license number, Social Security, or credit card number, without your permission, to commit a fraud. Cases of identity theft are on the rise.

Why do I mention this now? Well, December is Identity Theft Prevention and Awareness Month. It's a good time to become more aware of who might have access to your personal information and who might misuse it.

Being watchful is a big help. Always go over your bank statements for example. Also, did you know that you are entitled to one free credit report per year of each of the three national credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion)? Just go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com

California is really leading the way in fighting a kinds of identity theft. Most states have followed California's lead and have enacted mandatory data breach notification laws. Under these laws, companies that report a data breach will typically report it to all their customers.

Stay safe. Protect your personal information and protect the information of your dependents. Share this information too. We all need to be aware. The earlier you catch any problems, the easier they are to resolve.

Where we stand with COVID-19

This is not the place to look for updates about COVID-19. As I have said before, things are changing so fast, it is much better to get information from trusted news sources and The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. I have made mention though from time to time, and will do so again this morning.

Please trust the people who know. Please. It's important. This isn't political. This isn't a hoax. This is very real. When the CDC issues guidelines, it's because they KNOW. It isn't a game. I know it is terribly inconvenient. I realize too that folks are lonely and holidays are upon us. We still need to stay safe and we need to help others be safe. 

One thing I have heard over and over is "My body is strong. I can fight the virus and win." Perhaps. How about your 86 year old grandmother that you went to see? How about that friend of yours who is a diabetic and just had her first round of chemotherapy in her cancer fight? The people you come in contact with might not have an immune system as strong as yours. Think about them too.

We are also now in flu season.  Did you get a flu shot?  While the COVID-19 vaccine is not yet available, the flu vaccine is.  Protect yourself.

One more reminder about all the easy things we can all do to help protect ourselves and those around us. Wear a mask, stay at least six feet apart, avoid crowds, and wash your hands often.  Let's all do our part.  This will end, but hopefully when it ends, our friends and our family members will still be around.  Let's all do our part.

Focus on AIDS

Today, as you probably know, is World AIDS Day. How many of you remember life before there was AIDS? Let's get to a day where once again, it doesn't exist. Of course these days we are also concerned with COVID-19.

So just what can we do about AIDS? Well to start out, we can be part of the fight - not just on World AIDS Day or when someone asks for a donation for AIDS Walk or AIDS LifeCycle. Don't be concerned just right now as you read this, but be concerned, until there's a cure. 

Also we should all know our own status. It is so easy to get tested too. If you have a doctor of your own, you might want to do it there, but there are also so many other places to get tested, especially if you live in a major city. Oh and if you live in a small town and are afraid, take a short vacation to the big city and while you are checking out the sites, have an AIDS test too.

The World Health Organization is calling on leaders and citizens around the world to be in “global solidarity” to maintain essential HIV services during COVID-19 and beyond. It is vital to protect people from HIV during the pandemic, and ensure they can maintain treatment.

You are probably familiar with the NAMES Project Memorial Quilt, which was conceived back in 1985, by AIDS activist Cleve Jones. This year, because of COVID-19 and the need for physical distancing, the Quilt is going digital for World AIDS Day. Please go to https://www.aidsmemorial.org/virtual-exhibition where you can even search for specific panels. This very moving exhibition is free to the public and continues through March 31, 2021.

Want some more things you can do? Say a prayer. Write a check. Attend a vigil. Help a person with AIDS go shopping or clean house. Care. Write letters. Wear a red ribbon. Stay educated. Help dispel the myths. Help provide meals. The list really can go on and on. This is not just a December 1st thing, it's an every day thing.  Care.

Being thankful

For what, if anything, are you thankful? We just celebrated Thanksgiving last week, but in the midst of this COVID-19 pandemic, I know a lot of people were asking "What's to be thankful for"? There is of course always a reason to be thankful.  Lots of reasons!

Wonderful Oprah Winfrey once said "Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough."  Excellent advice of course.

Sometimes it can be helpful to just take stock of all the good in our lives.  As we end this eleventh month of the year, take a moment and think about all the positive things - even small ones.  Think too of the people in your life who make a difference.  Think of your accomplishments and all that you hold dear.  Be thankful.

It's not about the food, it's about the thanks

Thanksgiving Day became an official Federal holiday in 1863, when, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens." Families and friends get together and share meals, watch parades and football on tv, begin their holiday shopping, and enjoy each other's company.  As part of all of this, we pause and are grateful for all we have.

 

On Thanksgiving, some attend church services and some says prayers within their family gathering.  The significant thing here though is the thanks.  In addition to giving thanks to God, it is certainly wonderful to so our appreciation to each other and to all who have been a blessing in our lives.  Giving thanks can take many forms, but it is the key here.  It's not about the turkey, the pumpkin pie, or the Harold Square parade in New York.  All those other things are just added pieces of the celebration.  This year there will be a lot less gathering, but hopefully still a lot of thanks!

 

Yes it's been a tough year, but regardless of what you do or where you do it, and regardless of what you eat (even if it's just a small frozen dinner all by yourself), take a moment to think about all you are grateful for.  Give thanks to God by whatever name you call him, and be thankful for your friends and your family and all those who make a difference in your life.  Today is about thanks-giving!

Toys galore

When I think of gifts for children, the first thing that comes to mind is a teddy bear. Toys of all kinds warm the hearts of kids, especially the ones who have little or nothing. The biggest gift-giving occasion of the entire year of course is Christmas and that's now just a month away. Toy drives for needy kids truly make a difference! Consider giving. It really doesn't have to cost a lot.

 

There are stores that each year put out collection barrels for various toy drives.  The largest and best known is probably the Marine Corps' Toys for Tots campaign.  Back in 1947 United States Marine Major Bill Hendricks got the ball rolling in Los Angeles, California, beginning with a handmade doll and continuing with a collection of some 5,000 toys for needy kids in his area.  

That program continues to this day but now spreads nationwide.  There is also the Angel Tree program which gives toys to kids with parents in prison.  It was in 1983 that the Prison Fellowship started their Angel Tree Christmas toy program. There are many regional and local programs too run by fire departments or police departments or other local organizations.  There might be one in your town.  Last year a friend of mine in Las Vegas did an incredible drive himself, reaching out to all his friends.

 

This is certainly not an easy year, but do what you can.  Check with your local schools, churches, police department, and local newspaper for toys drives that might exist in your area.  Perhaps you or an organization you are part of, would like to start your own collection process to help out too.  Remember, a toy in the hands of a child is a beautiful thing, especially in the hands of a child who has nothing.

 

Fear Not

Reading through the Christian Bible, you will find a number of instances where people are going about their everyday activities, and suddenly and angel appears and says "Fear not." Really? Even another person appearing out of the middle of nowhere will startle you. An angel - a supernatural being, would seemingly create more fear. Calm down? No way!

Of course fear is nothing new and neither is hate that so often brings about that fear.  It was hate that ended the life of John F Kennedy on this date and there was a lot of fear afterward.  What was going to happen next?  Well, we lost other leaders and we continue to lost folks in our communities every day, because of hate.

Picture a man, driving with his young son, down a street and going about his everyday activities. Suddenly a police officer appears, and without any warning, shoots the man dead. The community leaders say "fear not," or another version of it. They appeal for calm. Really? A man shot to death in front of witnesses? That image will remain in their brains forever. Calm down? No way!

The amount of hate in the world seems to be rising by the minute. I'm particularly sad about the anti-Black, the anti-gay, the anti-poor, the anti-immigrant, the anti-trans, and the anti-women. (Oh and there are other groups that are hated too, but you get the idea). There seems to be very little collective will for social justice in this land of "liberty and justice for all." We need to get rid of this hate. Seriously. What good is it? Folks, we created the problem. We criminalized black, brown, trans, and poor people. We looked down on others and said they weren't good enough. We were wrong though. Everyone has merit. We created the problem. We can fix the problem. We need to want to though and we need to do more than urge calm and tell people they have nothing to fear.

Video footage I saw of a man being shot to death, while being held down by a police officer, made me sick to my stomach. We need to hold EVERYONE accountable for murder, especially the ones who are supposedly protecting us from crime. Fear not? How can you not be scared after seeing something like that? Maybe I will be next. Maybe my boss or my friend or my sister will be shot, and left to die.

People hold up signs saying Black Lives Matter, but I want to see proof! If any lives matter we need to wake up and end the hate and discrimination. If you agree with me, pick up your phone and call your neighbors, friends, relatives, co-workers, and anyone who will listen to you, and urge positive action. Let me be clear about what I am saying here. Our legislators need to pass laws that treat people equally and our courts need to prosecute offenders - ALL offenders, vigorously and to the full extent of the law. We cannot allow any lawlessness. Everyone needs to be accountable. If your senator or congressperson or local leaders cannot or will not work for positive change, then vote them out of office! Did you notice how many of the haters were just re-elected?

Don't forget the Black men killed in so many different places just because of who they were. Don't forget Orlando and the men and women killed in a gay club. Don't forget the police officers killed in Dallas. Don't forget all the instances of hate. Nobody should have to live in fear! Let's get going! Let's make a difference! This is our world, and it should not be filled with hate and fear. 

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance, begun in 1999 to memorialize the murder of transgender woman Rita Hester in Allston, Massachusetts.  It has spread around the world with some places giving a more official recognition.  In Ontario, Canada the province unanimously passed the Trans Day of Remembrance Act in 2017, and the Legislative Assembly there is now required to hold a moment of silence every year on November 20.

So what else happens on this day? Typically there is a reading of the names of those who lost their lives from November 20 of the former year to November 20 of the current year. Sometimes there are speakers, marches, and candlelight vigils. Newspapers will often devote a separate section today as well.

This is a sad occasion though - make no mistake about it.  Transphobic violence is a frightening occurrence that spreads fear to the transgender community and to their families and friends.  That violence so often leads to death.  Nobody should have to live in fear, yet many transgender people are even afraid to use public restrooms.  This needs to change, not only here in the United States, but around the world.  Trans violence is a hate crime that, when it occurs, needs to be fully prosecuted.

Transgender Day of Remembrance is an observance that I would like to see disappear, because the murder of our trans sisters and brothers needs to stop.  We can do it.  Take a stand against hate.  Don't let it continue.

She's still the People's Choice

There will be those, there always are, who will disagree with this recognition given out last night, at the People's Choice Awards.  Ellen DeGeneres has been called a bully and has battled claims of a toxic workplace environment on her show. I have written about her a number of times in this space, including those claims made against here. Well last night in Santa Monica, Ellen accepted the E! People's Choice Award for best daytime talk show. 

From the stage, she credited the award to her "amazing crew and amazing staff" and said "I love them all; I thank them for what they do every day to help that show be the best that we try to make it every single day." Ellen also thanked her fans for sticking by her.

Although this blog is NOT about me, I do continue to stick with Ellen.  I do not know her personally and was not present at her talk show, but I have seen the good wholesome entertainment presented and I have seen the many kind acts done by Ellen for so many people.  She has made a positive difference in the lives of a lot of people.  I once had the pleasure of meeting her mother Betty, and it's had to believe that such a nice woman could raise a bully.

Thank you Ellen DeGeneres for the laughter, for the inspiration, and for all the good you have done for our world.  I appreciate you, and from what I saw last night, so do a lot of others!

Writing ideas

You might think I would run out of writing ideas after doing this blog every day for so many years.  No so!  I still have tons and tons of ideas!  We will certainly revisit the historic election that just took place and what it means for our future.  So much can be said about the racism that is present all over this land.  The COVID-19 pandemic is of great concern too.  This blog began though spotlighting specific actions and people who are making a difference, and I would love to say more about them.

Certain people have gotten multiple mentions here, like Toan Lam, Ellen DeGeneres, Lance Bass, Jason Chu, and others.  Some folks get written about without a name mention.  Sometimes I have told you about events, without going in to as much detail as I would like.  Often this is because I only have access to limited information.  This is one reason why I often invite you to share comments.

I will certainly be sharing more stories of other hometown heroes. I don't seem to be hearing of them as much as I used to.  (Make suggestions about that also in your comments).  I love sharing those heartwarming tales when I come across them.  Oh and the suggestions about how we can all give back.  There are so very many ways, and so there is always something to write about there.  How is sharing different during this pandemic?  How will the upcoming holidays change because of COVID-19.

 

Oh and one more thing I want to mention once again today is YOU.  This blog has never been about me - it's about making a difference in the world.  That making a difference is something we all can do and so many of the suggestions and ideas are ones that I'm sure you have also.

I can almost smell the turkey!

November is the favorite month of the year for many, and Thanksgiving Day is a big reason why. Since I was just a kid I have always loved Thanksgiving and while I know it is still a couple weeks away, I can almost smell the turkey now! I thought I'd take a moment to talk about what it all means.

First of all, as much as I love turkey, I really don't like the nickname "Turkey Day." Thanksgiving is so much more of course. (Not to mention that not everyone eats turkey, although I don't know why). As much fun as the football games are, and the huge feast, and the preparations for Christmas, the big thing is coming together and giving thanks. Some other countries do similar observances, but only Canada does pretty much the same customs as in the US, except that theirs is a bit earlier, in October.  The holiday has traditionally been a celebration of the blessings of the (agricultural) year, including the harvest. More recently a lot of folks have included all blessings that have come their way during the year (and some folks, during their lifetime).  Families generally gather to celebrate and often in larger number than at any other time during the year.  This year because of the pandemic there will be less travel and perhaps a lot of zoom Thanksgivings.

 

So giving thanks and being together with family and friends is what it's all about.  Now of course we didn't have to wait until today.  Being thankful all the time would be great.  2020 has been a crazy year, but there have been good things along the way.  If you are reading this, one good thing is that you are still around.  Let's always be thankful, not on just one day!

Now what?

Long week, huh?

Now what?

I really think there will be some news within the next few hours, but regardless of the outcome, remember that roughly half of the country wants the others candidate. I keep thinking about that. I keep looking at those maps from election night, maps which we keep seeing as we hear the latest tally. I happen to live in a community where the majority voted the opposite of me. Oh my!

I keep hearing people talk about the President and Vice President - wanting change, or wanting things to stay as they are. Regardless of which side you are on, please not of the enormous number of people who disagree with you. As I see it we need to change some minds. We need to change some hearts. We need to bring our country together. We need more love and more kindness. Seriously. These aren't just words. This is a very real mission. 

Transphobia, racism, homophobia, all kinds of hate - it HAS TO GO! If you disagree, please tell me why below. If you think the United States is perfect and nothing needs to change, please enlighten me. I will listen. My opinion though is that we have a LOT of work to do. We can do it though. I believe that. We have the power. We have the ability.

While we are waiting

While we are waiting for election results to all be clear and to be certified, let's all take a deep breath and get back to being good neighbors, good citizens.  I was thinking especially about random acts of kindness.  Feeding the hungry seems to be at the top of most lists, but there are so many ways to do this.  So today I give you a list, in no particular order, of various random acts of kindness, many of which cost little or nothing and take very little time.  Maybe some of these will give you ideas of your own!  

Here's a simple one: call, text, or email some folk you know have little contact with others (which during this pandemic, is many of us).

Sing an employee's praises to their manager or on a comment card — a little recognition goes a long way. Believe it or not, people complain more often than praise even though most workers deserve the praise more often than the complaint.

 

Load extra money in vending machines to buy the next person's snacks when they come along.  It will be a pleasant surprise for them!  Leaving a few coins out at the laundromat does the same thing.

 

When paying for your breakfast in a restaurant, ask for the check of a random diner (especially someone who is elderly or who is dining alone) and pay it without their knowing.

Help a friend see today in a wondrous new light: present them with a kaleidoscope. They really aren't very expensive and are available in most toy stores.

Vulnerable people may be avoiding all public places and so some may need groceries or medical supplies.  Volunteer to pick things up for them and assure them they don't need to make physical contact with you.

Practice physical distancing and wear a mask whenever you are in public.

 

My list could go on and on of course.  Perhaps you would like to add your own suggestions in the comments section below.

still waiting

Yes, we are still waiting, and as frustrating as this is, it is normal. It is not unexpected. Counting takes time. When will we know who has been elected President? Well there really is no answer to that. It could be today or it might be next week. And so, we wait.

We do know about a lot of the races from Tuesday. Many good things happened, chief among them was participation. Records numbers of people cast ballots this year, and that certainly is a good thing. Also, while the Blue wave many predicted didn't really materialize, there was a Rainbow wave of sorts.

Four transgender and nonbinary politicians won in state contests. Among them is Sarah McBride, who will be the highest-ranking trans legislator in the country, serving as Delaware’s first transgender state senator. New York State will be sending two Black gay men to the House of Representatives.

In Nevada, a ballot question that adds marriage equality to the state constitution (and also overturns an amendment voters approved in 2002 to ban same-sex marriage), passed by a wide margin. Regardless of what might happen in the US Supreme Court in the future, married gay couples in Nevada are secure in their marriages now.

San Diego voters elected Democratic state Assemblymember Todd Gloria as their first LGBTQ mayor. He is also the first person of color elected to lead that Southern California city. (Gloria briefly served as San Diego's interim mayor in 2013 and 2014).

There was a time of course when being LGBTQ would mean no votes (or certainly not enough to win), but that is no longer the case. Numerous officials were re-elected yesterday. Scott Wiener will continue in the California State Senate and Sam Park in the Georgia House of Representatives.

This was also the first time ever that an openly gay person was so visible in the Presidential race and while Pete Buttigieg didn't make it to the General Election, we will certainly be hearing more from him. Perhaps a cabinet position in a new administration? There is no answer to that just yet. And so, we wait.

I still have hope

You may have heard that two neighbors in Texas recently made headlines for being friendly toward each other. One of them is a Republican and the other is a Democrat, and yet they are friendly. This is news because our country has become so polarized. Waking up this morning, I can clearly see the picture as I look at election returns.

The results of yesterday's election are incomplete and vote counting is ongoing, so I won't go into specific numbers. It is very clear though there there is no agreement on who should be in the White House. States are sharply divided on Congressional races too. I don't get it. Seriously. Can anyone explain why there is such a large disagreement.

Yesterday I was hopeful about certain candidates being elected. Some of them did, and that's wonderful, but in many places people made (what appear to me to be) ridiculous decisions. In North Dakota a blue wave that had been predicted, never materialized. In fact a Republican state legislature candidate who died a month ago of COVID-19 won the election! There are many races where at this early hour, we still don't know how it will turn out, but the division in our country is obvious.

I still have hope.  I'm not just hoping that certain candidates are elected or certain measures pass.  I'm also hoping for a united country.  No, we don't have to agree on everything, but let's start with basic human rights and common courtesies.  A polarized nation is not a healthy nation.  If there isn't a leader to take us there, let's do it ourselves.  We can heal the country.  We can end the hate.  We can stop the division.  We have the power.  At least that is my hope.

Comes the moment to decide

This morning I was torn between quoting a children's book, Johnny Tremain or a poem, which is known by many as a hymn, or baseball great Jackie Robinson's autobiography which also came to mind. They all seem significant to me, especially this morning.

It is Election Day in the United States and if it seems to be a bigger deal this year, it actually is. If more people had been involved - if more folks had stood up, things would not be so critical. It's not a new problem at all.  The hate and discrimination and lack of respect has been building for quite some time.

First, Jackie Robinson: "There I was, the black grandson of a slave, the son of a black sharecropper, part of a historic occasion, a symbolic hero to my people. The air was sparkling. The sunlight was warm. The band struck up the national anthem. The flag billowed in the wind. It should have been a glorious moment for me as the stirring words of the national anthem poured from the stands. Perhaps, it was, but then again, perhaps, the anthem could be called the theme song for a drama called The Noble Experiment. Today, as I look back on that opening game of my first world series, I must tell you that it was Mr. Rickey’s drama and that I was only a principal actor. As I write this twenty years later, I cannot stand and sing the anthem. I cannot salute the flag; I know that I am a black man in a white world. In 1972, in 1947, at my birth in 1919, I know that I never had it made."

Think about those words. I can't help think of Robinson's autobiography every time I see all the positive thing done by Colin Kaepernick (who celebrates his birthday today). When will we actually pay attention? When will we change. I thought about how things were way back in grade school when I first read the historical fiction novel, Johnny Tremain, by Esther Forbes. Young Johnny keeps reminding himself of the phrase, "So that a man can stand up." In fact it becomes his personal war cry, and he repeats it to himself several times in the book. That phrase has stayed with me. I suppose it might be my own battle cry.

We are at a moment of decision dear readers. Let us choose wisely. "Once to ev'ry man and nation Comes the moment to decide, In the strife of truth and falsehood, For the good or evil side." If you recognize those words, they come from the beginning of a familiar hymn. (Sing it to yourself. I put the music above). The words are from a larger work of poetry entitled “The Present Crisis,” written in 1845 by James Russell Lowell, as a protest against the US war with Mexico. Like Robinson's story and Tremain's battle cry, these words too can inspire us and move us forward.

Yes, today is Election Day. Today is our moment to decide so that a man can stand up - so that we all can stand up.

Come Holy Ghost

Today marks an anniversary that I will long remember.  It was seventeen years ago that The Most Reverend Frank Tracy Griswold and six co-consecrating bishops, laid hands on the Reverend V Gene Robinson, making him a Bishop of the Episcopal Church and the first one to be openly gay at the time of his consecration.  It was a great day.  It was a happy day.  It was a giant step for Christians.  It was also a day filled with controversy.

 

I wasn't there in Durham, New Hampshire that day, but I watched every single moment as it streamed live. It's interesting for me to revisit the consecration of  Bishop Gene Robinson because we really have come a long way since then.  The Episcopal Church has since elected and consecrated other gay bishops.  Other denominations are ordaining openly gay clergy too.  Marriage equality has come to many parts of the world including this country.  Still there is a long way to go.

 

One thing that stands out in my mind is the danger that was feared.   Robinson had to wear a bullet proof vest!  They even had a contingency plan if shots were fired or a bomb went off. If Robinson was still alive there was another place he was to be taken to along with Presiding Bishop Griswold and two other bishops and the consecration would go forward with a photographer also present to prove it happened. I remember this because on such a joyful day there was also this dread.

 

Progress doesn't  just have happy moments. There are those fearful, dreadful times too.  We need to have our Gene Robinsons to help pave our ways.  The Holy Spirit was there in that place and continues to be with us ready to kindle the fire in our hearts.  We cannot give up.  We have to continue to look to the future and to more wonderful moments like the day when hands were laid on the man who, as a child had perfect Sunday School attendance for thirteen years and who, as an adult became a symbol of hope for all who value equality.  Perhaps tomorrow's election will give us another symbol of hope.

 

the importance of voting

Some places on this earth do not let the people have a say in pretty much anything. Then there are countries, like ours, where the people do have a voice, but sadly don't always use it.  Election Day is Tuesday.  This year we seem to be hearing about it more than ever.  It has always been important.

 

In the United States, the people decide who holds office.  We choose our mayors and governors and legislators and sheriffs and of course we the people decide who will be our president.  We have the power!  State and local propositions are there for our consideration too.  There are important things for us to decide on.  Sadly, some folks never even register to vote and of those who do register, many don't even bother to cast a ballot.  Don't be one of them.  Let your voice be heard!

 

It's sad when we have this incredible right and we ignore it.  To be able to shape our towns and states and our country is a great privilege that, as I said, folks in many parts of the world cannot do.  Will we see results this week?  Some, but possibly not all.  It takes time to count votes.  This year it is expected to take much more time.  Turn on your tv and watch election returns, but don't expect to go to bed on Tuesday knowing who won each and every race.  Before you watch those results though, let me again remind you to 

VOTE!

In Memory of Mom and Wilson

There are great people you meet along the way, who inspire you to do great things yourself. For me, my mom Teddy Fritts, and my friend Wilson Fang were two such people. I would normally be in San Francisco this week, to do something I do annually - participate in the Light the Night Walk for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Cancer is a terrible things but they both fought with courage, and both lost their battles way too soon.

I first became involved in this event when Mom was diagnosed with leukemia.  She was one of my annual sponsors.  Wilson was too.  In addition to the two of them, I have lost a number of other sponsors because they have lost their cancer fight.  This just makes me more and more determined.

The Light the Night Walk is a fundraising campaign benefiting The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and their funding of research to find blood cancer cures. Walks take place on various dates at cities all across the country. In addition to raising money, they also raise awareness. I also find a lot of comfort in something they do before each walk - a remembrance ceremony.  I try hard each year to let folks know I am doing this, so I can raise a good amount of money and really make a difference. If you have been touched by any cancers, you might like to donate money or to even participate in a future event.  Click HERE to give.  (ANY amount can be donated).

Mom and Wilson were an inspiration, and I miss them both. This week I join with so many others to Light the Night (virtually because of the pandemic) in their memory. Find out more and get involved too at http://www.lightthenight.org/

Thank You Nurses

When I woke up this morning, I noticed the hashtag #ThankYouNurses was trending on twitter. Nurses are wonderful. My mom was a nurse and I have many friends who are nurses. They provide compassionate, quality, and critical care to patients every single day, whether is is a routine medical checkup or a crisis and time of great vulnerability. It was nice to see nurses trending, but why? Did something happen overnight? This isn't Nurses Week.

I did some check while drinking my coffee and couldn't come up with anything new. It really doesn't matter though. I'm so glad to see #ThankYouNurses and also #HeroesBehindTheMasks trending. They are indeed heroes and I do thank them. 

This has been a tough year for all of us, but just imagine for a moment the added stress that nurses have. They try to make things better for the rest of us though. I have had the great joy of volunteering in a hospital and I get to see hospital workers close-up. Yes, they aren't all perfect, but I have seen some amazing things. One nurse I observed was always so kind and caring to his patients no matter how they responded. He told me he likes to make people feel good. Isn't that what nursing is all about? Actually I think that is what life is all about!

So here's to all the nurses.  Thank you for what you do.  Thank you for making a difference.  You are indeed heroes behind the masks!

The crown jewel of American liberties

Ronald Reagan, the 40th President of the United States once said "The right to vote is the crown jewel of American liberties, and we will not see its luster diminished."  Well he was certainly correct about it being the crown jewel, but that luster, has it changed any?  What good is jewelry if you don't show it off?  Some Americans go to the polls faithfully on every single election, and some never go at all.

Let me quote another US President, our 32nd, Franklin Delano Roosevelt:  "Nobody will ever deprive the American people of the right to vote except the American people themselves and the only way they could do this is by not voting."  Mr Roosevelt was correct too and that makes me very sad.  When you look at the multitude of problems facing our country, it's hard to believe that some folks don't want to be part of the solution.  It's true though.  Some don't vote and say they never will.  

So many countries around the world don't have this wonderful opportunity.  We are so powerful.  We can make change.  We have to get up from the couch though and do something.  Voting is easy.  It really doesn't take much time at all.  Registration is necessary and then casting your ballot itself.  In most states it is so simple you can register online and have a ballot balled to you.  (PLEASE CHECK THE LAWS IN YOUR OWN STATE).

Last night I joined a group of people online who were encouraging the vote and they had such great energy and hope.  I really had a good feeling after that program.  Now, we need to go forth and spread the word.  Get out there and VOTE!

Christian Values

         In a story about rainbow flags in Heber, Utah, 

         a frustrated mother is quoted saying 

    “As a Christian, our family believes that marriage 

is between a man and a woman. I’d like to think 

that there are other people in this valley who 

feel the same way. Are we the silent majority?

If you still believe in Christian values, 

please speak up.”

After writing yesterday about the term "sexual preference," I came across an article discussing rainbow flags and bringing up same-sex marriage. A woman is quoted saying "As a Christian, our family believes that marriage is between a man and a woman." (I think she means only, because certainly everyone thinks men and women can marry each other). Every time this comes up I look at it closely and I cannot figure out why anyone could possible object. If two men marry each other (or two women) how does that affect anyone at all except the two of them? Oh and just in case you missed it, same-sex marriage is legal all across the United States and Canada.

The "as a Christian" part of this person's objection is an argument that frequently comes up, but there is no record at all of Jesus ever speaking about homosexuality, let alone same-sex unions. In many Christian denominations, there have been specific discussions regarding homosexuality. In 1976, the Episcopal Church said “homosexual persons are children of God who have a full and equal claim with all other persons upon the love, acceptance, and pastoral concern and care of the church.” The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, with approximately 3.8 million members, has passed repeated resolutions to welcome LGBTQ people since 1991.

Even the Roman Catholic Church does not consider “homosexual orientation” sinful in and of itself, although it does have a very negative attitude toward it. A 1986 letter states, “Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.”

There is neither the time nor the space to go deeply into this matter, but let me respond to the woman's question. She said "If you still believe in Christian values, please speak up." Well I do! I believe that all people are equal before God, and are equal in their home, at church, and everywhere society. I believe that race, sexual orientation, gender identity, age, and class are not barriers to Christ. I believe that Christian love in action is treating each person with dignity.

It's NOT a preference

    “I have no agenda and I do want to be clear that I have never discriminated on the 

  basis of sexual preference and I would not discriminate on the basis of sexual preference.” 

-U.S. Supreme Court nominee Judge Amy Coney Barrett, 

responding on October 13, 2020 to a question from 

Ranking Member Senator Dianne Feinstein at 

Senate Judiciary Committee confirmation hearing

                        

There have been several times where I have addressed the matter of "preference." Let me give you an example of preference. Some people eat vanilla ice cream. Some like chocolate better. My favorite happens to be strawberry. Of course I will eat any of those flavors. I love ice cream. What we are talking about here though is a preference. I prefer strawberry. It is my personal preference.

Now when it comes to dating men or dating women, this is NOT a preference matter. I do not simply like one better than the other. Oh no! I am ONLY attracted in a sexual and in a romantic way to men. I am gay. It is my orientation, NOT my preference. It's also not a lifestyle choice. You don't wake up one morning and say "I'm going to wear the gay outfit today."

In 2012, Mrs Feinstein said “Same-sex couples live their lives like all married couples. They raise children, share finances, care for each other and love each other in good times and bad, so it was no surprise to me that she would ask about same-sex marriage. What surprised me is that she didn't correct the judge.  I know that Feinstein gets it.  She has said so time and time again.

When Judge Amy Coney Barrett refusing to commit if same-sex marriage rights are protected, Feinstein said "Well that’s really too bad because it’s really a fundamental point for large numbers of people in this country.  I understand you don’t want to answer these questions directly but you identify yourself with a Justice that you, like him, would be a consistent vote to roll back hard fought freedoms and protections for the LGBT community. And what I was hoping that you would say is that this would be a point of difference where those freedoms would be respected and you haven’t said that."

I should point out that later in the day, Democratic Senator Mazie Hirono chastised Barrett pointing out that the term is considered offensive and outdated. Thank you Senator, but the term has never been correct.

AP

One of the most amazing people on this planet, is Arnel Pineda. You may have heard of him. He's the lead singer of Journey. He's been singing pretty much all his life and what an incredible voice he has!

During the COVID-19 pandemic, a lot of folks are staying away from other people and that cuts down on our entertainment possibilities. Arnel has kept busy though. He has recorded a number of songs via the internet and posted them on his youtube channel. Hearing him and his rich enthusiasm is enough to bring happiness to anyone.

There is much more reason though for me to write here this morning about AP. Sleeping on the street and having little to eat in his early years, might make a person bitter but not in this case. Arnel Pineda is one of the most humble and caring people in the world. Listen to him in interviews saying how he loves his fans and how grateful he is for all the opportunities he has had.

When Typhoon Haiyan made landfall in the Philippines in November 2013, Journey donated to relief efforts and Arnel did additional fundraising.  He gave so freely to assist with the rebuilding in his homeland.

There is also the Arnel Pineda Foundation, a non-profit independent Philippine foundation that provides underprivileged children quality education, health services and medical attention. Find out all about the organization he founded at https://arnelpineda.org/

When I see people like Arnel Pineda, I have great hope for our future.  The world could sure use more people like this!

are you looking for some pizza?

Even in the midst of a pandemic, people are still ordering pizza and delivering that pizza is often seen as a good way to make some extra money. When 89-year-old Derlin Newey needed help with his bills, even he turned to work as a pizzaman for some additional income.

Now I have never delivered pizza (or anything else) but I imagine it can be tiring, especially the repetition of going up to house after house after house. From all accounts though, Mr Newey seems to have fun with it. His greeting, once the door is opened is "Hello, are you looking for some pizza?" Some of his stops are regular customers. Folks get to know him. One of those regulars is Carlos Valdez, who spends quite a bit of time doing videos on TikTok as vendingheads. Some of his newest videos have been of pizzaman Derlin Newey.

Should a guy nearing his 90s have so work so hard to make ends meet? Apparently Carlos Valdez didn't think so. He asked his TikTok followers to pitch in some money, but never dreamed of the outpouring. $12,000 was raised by the folks on TikTok, which when presented to Mr Newey brought tears to his eyes.

I'm in the midst of an annual fundraiser for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and have fallen way behind in what I have hoped to raise.  I thought just the other day how wonderful it would be if a whole bunch of strangers came together and helped me to my goal.  While thinking that, I came across this wonderful heartwarming story of all those who helped out the pizzaman.  Seeing such love and kindness is always such a wonderful thing.  I hope Mr Newey will be able to have some rest now, but it would be nice if somehow his regular customers could still see him.

Ursula

She was 84 years old when she passed away in Punta Gorda, FL four years ago and never got to see the park that was named in her honor, but Ursula Vane would be so very proud. Her son Christopher Vane is the founder of Little Bear Sanctuary in Punta Gorda, home of around 150 rescued farm animals. Little Bear in Latin, by the way, is Ursula.

Personally I like their logo. The cute bear reminds me of my own mother and her love of teddy bears. (That logo is available on mugs and apparel you can find on their website). There is also lots of cute animal pictures on the website at https://littlebearsanctuary.org/ and so much more information about them too.

Interested in volunteering? If you are in that area, this just might be the place. It is also a good organization to donate to. You might even consider sponsoring an animal.

They have a 15-year-old tortoise named Keisha, plus lots of chickens, sheep, cows, goats, and pigs, including the very first sanctuary resident, a 300-pound pig named Willy. These various animals were rescued from so many different situations and now live cage-free. 

I'm told they want to expand and to do more. Such a wonderful mission. Just thinking about it makes me happy.

She's Back

Were you watching yesterday? Ellen DeGeneres is back for the 18th season of her talk show, and I'm glad! As I have said here before, I stand with her. I think she has done some remarkable things and has truly made a positive difference. Is she perfect? Of course not. Did she make mistakes along the way? Probably.

She addresses all of that at the top of the show. “If you’re watching because you love me, thank you. If you’re watching because you don’t love me, welcome,” said Ellen to start the hour. Then she referred to a “new chapter” for her show and said that she is “committed to making this the best season that we’ve ever had.” I think we should let her. Would I have done the show the same way?  Probably not.  Regardless of how you feel about all the accusations though, let's give her a chance.

She also explained why she says "Be kind" at the end of her show (and it isn't a nod to the other blog I write.

“Here’s how that happened, I started saying ‘be kind to one another’ after a young man named Tyler Clementi took his own life after being bullied for being gay. I thought the world needed more kindness, and it was a reminder that we all needed that. And I think we need it more than ever right now.”

Thank you Ellen for a fresh start. Thanks for making a difference. I hope all the negativity is gone. We really need your positive energy!

From Her Colleagues

Rarely have I written about the same subject for three days in a row, but Ruth Bader Ginsburg was rare indeed. There have been tributes pouring in ever since Justice Ginsburg passed away on Friday. So of the most moving have come from her colleagues, including the conservative justices that she often disagreed with.

Justice Clarence Thomas, the longest serving on the bench, said in part "She was a superb judge who gave her best and exacted the best from each of us, whether in agreement or disagreement. And, as outstanding as she was as a judge, she was an even better colleague – unfailingly gracious, thoughtful, and civil."

The Chief Justice, Chief Justice John Roberts Jr., said "Our Nation has lost a jurist of historic stature. We at the Supreme Court have lost a cherished colleague. Today we mourn, but with confidence that future generations will remember Ruth Bader Ginsburg as we knew her — a tireless and resolute champion of justice."

Justice Justice Sonia Sotomayor said "My dear friend and colleague Ruth Bader Ginsburg was an American hero. She spent her life fighting for the equality of all people, and she was a pathbreaking champion of women’s rights. She served our Court and country with consummate dedication, tirelessness, and passion for justice. She has left a legacy few could rival."

A black drape has been hung over the Courtroom doors as a sign of respect and mourning and her chair and the front of the Bench where she sat have also been draped. This will stay in place for 30 days. The flags on the Supreme Court's front Plaza will be flown at half-staff for 30 days. A private interment service will be held at Arlington National Cemetery.

The statements (in full) from all of the justices can be found on the official US Supreme Court website at https://www.supremecourt.gov/publicinfo/press/pressreleases/pr_09-19-20

Did the best she could

So much more can be said about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who died on Friday evening. There has been such an outpouring of emotion every since then, including an enormous vigil in San Francisco that night only an hour or so after word came of her death. Thousands gathered outside the Supreme Court building too and at candlelight memorials all across the country.

The late justice only stood 5'1" but she was truly larger than life. It would seem that most folks agree. Yesterday I quoted some of the tributes, but I'd like to ask you - what does the life of Ruth Bader Ginsburg mean to you personally? How will you remember her?

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced yesterday that a statue of her will be constructed in Brooklyn to honor the justice's "life and legacy."

Her seat on the United States Supreme Court will remain vacant until a presidential appointment and Senate confirmation. It is unknown when that will happen but Senator Dianne Feinstein of California (the ranking Democrat on the Senate Judiciary Committee), said "Today, we’re just 46 days away from an election. To jam through a lifetime appointment to the country’s highest court, particularly to replace an icon like Justice Ginsburg, would be the height of hypocrisy."

What would Ginsburg herself say about all this? In her own words: "I would just like people to think of me as a judge who did the best she could with whatever limited talent I had to keep our country true to what makes it a great nation and to make things a little better than they might have been if I hadn't been there."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Since news broke last night that Supreme Court Associate Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had passed away at the age of 87, so much has been said about her life, and rightly so. She truly made a difference.

President Donald Trump learned of her death from a reported and commented "She led an amazing life...She was an amazing woman, whether you agreed or not...I am sad to hear that."

Social media lit up with tributes. A friend of mine wrote on facebook "My heart just broke into a million, tiny pieces." My own facebook post (after admitting that I had been crying): "Devastated does not even begin to say what I feel right now. Justice truly was her calling."

California Assemblymember David Chiu posted a picture of her on his Instagram account writing "Years ago, I worked on Justice Ginsburg's confirmation hearing, and realized how special she would be. Her contributions to our country are immeasurable."

Former President George W. Bush said "Laura and I join our fellow Americans in mourning the loss of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. She dedicated many of her 87 remarkable years to the pursuit of justice and equality, and she inspired more than one generation of women and girls." 

It has been reported that Justice Ginsburg dictated a statement to her granddaughter shortly before her death: "My most fervent wish is that I will not be replaced until a new president is installed."  America, make it so.

My dear friend

I want to tell you about my dear friend, but my policy has always been to not write about private people without their permission, and he really doesn't want any attention.  I respect that.  I'm still going to write about him though because he is really one-of-a-kind.  I just won't reveal his identity.

This guy is special because he is always positive and upbeat and he get great pleasure out of making other people happy.  He is hardworking, the picture of health, and honest as the day is long.  He has the perfect smile and a wonderful sense of humor.  I cannot tell you how many lives he has positively impacted, but is a great inspiration to me just to know him.

He care about his family too, and his friends.  It's not just strangers that he brings happiness to.  It seems like he makes everyone happy!

Oh and did I mention generous?  He will think nothing of picking up the check in a restaurant, even he picked it up the last time you went out and even if you desperately insist that you really want to pay.

Now I'm not saying everyone should be like my dear friend.  I'm thinking that would be impossible.  How wonderful this world we be though if there were more caring folks like him though!  How wonderful indeed.