Preference?

Do you like each of these ice-cream flavors equally?  Most, I suspect, will enjoy the one in the center back more and any other, while for me it's the one in the center front: strawberry.  Yum!  Why am I talking about ice-cream though?  Well it's to say the same thing I have said many times here (even using ice-cream once before to help explain).  Being gay or bisexual is NOT a matter of preference.  A very nice gentleman was talking on tv yesterday and kept saying  "your sexual preference."  

I would suspect that while you might enjoy chocolate more, an occasional vanilla or strawberry, or even a nice mint ice-cream would still make you smile.  Now, for those of you who are gay and reading this, do you find yourself frequently attracted to the opposite gender?  Do you act on that attraction?  Well, if the answer is yes, than you likely aren't really gay.  Our sexual orientation is a bit more complicated than a casual "shall I be with a man today, or with a woman?"

Now, in this very blog I once wrote when it comes to dating men or dating women, this is NOT a preference matter.  I do not simply like one better than the other.  Oh no!  I am ONLY attracted in a sexual and in a romantic way to men.  I am gay.  It is my orientation, NOT my preference.  It's also not a lifestyle choice.  You don't wake up one morning and say "I'm going to wear the gay outfit today."  I stand by those earlier words!

He seemed like a nice guy and I don't think he meant anything bad at all, but people have to start learning that being gay is not a lifestyle choice and it isn't a preference.  I wish I had corrected him at the time.  Please help me spread the word!

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you.

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, than proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call you local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off then they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Art work might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Right now while we are practicing social distancing, there are limits to what we can do, but we can just be more creative.  Because of the pandemic, there are so many more in need.  Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the well being of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy can you spare some time? Buddy can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

Before you donate

Donating money to a charity can be a wonderful thing. Right now there are so many places that can use our help.  Sadly, in times of crisis, there are more folks who try to take advantage of the generosity of others and the scams have already started appearing.  Making random contributions to unknown charities might do little except to empty your bank account if you don't keep your eyes open.  Here is a top ten list of questions you should ask yourself before donating.  Be generous if you are able, but be cautious too!

10.  Have I ever given to this organization before?

  9. How does the charity acknowledge my donation?

  8. Is this charity local or does it stretch beyond my town?

  7. Do any of my friends or relatives donate to this cause?

  6. Are the employees/officers of this charity paid inflated salaries?

  5. How much of my money goes directly to those in need?

  4. Do I feel strongly about this cause?

  3. Are my actions/donations really helping?

  2. How can I help, beyond making this donation?

And the number one question you should ask yourself before donating:
  1. Is the charity reputable?

We could have stopped it

Randy Shilts gave us the book and movie, AND THE BAND PLAYED ON, chronicling the early days of AIDS. Toward the end of that film, Matthew Modine's character says "This didn't have to happen. We could have stopped it." Ian McKellen's character then asks "Can you still?" The answer is of course a resounding YES! And, we must keep at it. We can't waste our time on what should have already happened, but we must move forward and make sure it does happen.

I was thinking about this last night and also thinking about the similarities with the COVID-19 pandemic. Last year there was no vaccine, but now there is. The original advice to keep a distance and to mask, seems to have been forgotten. People are needlessly getting infected, and people are dying.

We have vaccines for COVID-19, and they are free. Why aren't more people taking advantage of this? Oh and the makers of one of those vaccines, Moderna, is starting a Phase I clinical trial of its HIV vaccine candidate this week. We are certainly hopeful. Don't expect a quick answer on this as the study is expected to run until May of 2023. We do have a vaccine for COVID-19 though. We can stop unnecessary suffering from the coronavirus. President Joe Biden and the First Lady will get a COVID-19 booster shot, and health officials are recommending that those who received the Moderna or Pfizer vaccine get a booster eight months after their second dose. Still, so many are refusing the shot and many of these same people refuse to wear a mask.

We could have stopped it.  We still can.  I really hope people will wakeup to the reality.

Earthquake in Haiti

Yesterday morning at 8:29:09 am EDT, a magnitude 7.2 earthquake struck Haiti. I didn't hear about it until a moment of two after I wrote yesterday's blog. I watched the news unfold and saw the destruction. I saw the hundreds of injured and the hundreds of dead.  (More than 700 people are dead as I write this, and that number is likely to rise).  

Now I've experienced earthquakes before, including a 6.9 earthquake that severely shook the San Francisco and Monterey Bay regions. One big difference though: preparedness. Haiti has felt quakes before too, but it's hard to be truly prepared with assassination, corruption, poverty, corruption, violence, hurricanes, epidemics, and all sort of disasters hitting you over and over. Things have been tough for Haiti, and yesterday morning they got even tougher.

I really don't know how that tiny island nation continues to endure.  Seriously.  Can you think of any other place that has gone through so much?

They need help, and not just a quick donation and then goodbye. They need big help and lasting help. They need to be able to dig out and build up and prepare for their future. They need to grow strong and be able to look to the future without worry. Of course we cannot change natural disasters, but we can prepare for them, and Haiti needs to be prepared. According to Reuters, at least 1,800 people are injured and at least 949 homes, seven churches, two hotels and three schools have been completely destroyed. The death toll continues to rise. Haiti needs our help and our prayers.

Tennis star Naomi Osaka says she will donate her winnings from the Western and Southern Open in Cincinnati to help the victims of the Haiti earthquake. How wonderful! For the rest of us, an excellent organization that is already helping is Doctors Without Borders. Their website has more information at https://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/  The International Red Cross is also a great organization to donate to.

Words to live by

Do you have marching orders, or a kind of mission statement for your life (a Prime Directive if you will? Is there a slogan or motto that sums up who you are and what you believe?

Recently I came across something that could work for many of us. I have no idea who the author is and my searches came up empty. I really do like these words though, and so I share them here:

"Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, and mirror what you admire."

I really like that quote, even if we don't know who said it.  Words to live by, huh?  I'd love to have you all share some of your favorite uplifting quotes.

Nursing Hero

Just the other day someone said calling healthcare workers "heroes" perpetuates the idea that people in the medical field have some sort of "superpower."  They don't.  They are simply ordinary people who deserve better support and actual action (such as following medical advice, wearing a mask, and getting vaccinated).  Now don't get me wrong.  There are heroes out there.  I know some of them.  One of them happens to be a nurse.

Now I don't write about private parties here because everyone deserves their privacy, but I have to tell you about this guy.  I've told him before how inspiring he is, and that would be an understatement.  As I said, he's a nurse, and he works twelve hour hospital shifts.  That's not all though. He has two jobs, full time student, and is working on an upcoming project.  Oh and he's also a fitness trainer.  I'm really not sure where he finds the time!

I don't know him well, and haven't known him for a long time, which also makes me sing his praises after he checked on my well-being after hearing I had just had another health issue.  This guy doesn't just go through the motions, he cares.

If his actions weren't encouraging enough, he also encourages with his words.  "The hardest thing to do is not allow the negative to influence your day."  That's something he recently said.   He also said "a great attitude becomes a great mood, and that great mood becomes a great day!"  Indeed. 

Someday you will know him.  Someday people everywhere, even those in the highest places, will speak his name.  He isn't looking for fame though.  He's just being a natural hero.  The world needs more like this guy and I'm so glad he came our way!

So you want to change the world, huh?

A long time ago I said that I wanted to change the world for the better. Some of my friends thought I was crazy. A few seemed supportive, but really questioned what one person could do.  I did little things like volunteering or donating money or writing letters, but a little over ten years ago I decided I needed some help in the effort and I began writing this blog.

There is a counter on this that tells me how many people visited the page.  It even tells if they typed in the URL or if they were referred here from another site, like a search engine.  There is no way of course to know how many actually read what is here once they arrive and no way either to know if these words ever motivate anyone to become more involved.  I can always hope of course! 

Now we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and most folks are focused on that, but there is more going on of course.  All the things we cared about last December, we should still care about.  That hasn't changed.  We have an election coming up in just about five months, and that is very important.  I still want to make this a better world, but it's not a one-person job.

My ideas are not the only ones and I am always happy to write about folks how are already stepping up and doing wonderful things for others.  Please let me know about any hometown heroes that you know of, so that we can tell others.  Give us your suggestions on how to change the world too.  We're not looking for a list of things that are bad and why our community or our country or the whole world is falling apart.  Tell us instead how you think things can be better.  What do you think would make this a better world?  Do feel free to write in the comments section below and together perhaps we really will change the world!