trick or treat!

Carving pumpkins into jack-o-lanterns, telling scary stories, decorating, lighting bonfires, trick or treating, playing pranks, attending costume parties, apple bobbing, visiting haunted attractions, and watching horror movies - just some of the ways people observe Halloween.  What will you be doing?

I've lately heard people say "make sure it's a safe and sane celebration."  Well yeah!  Of course!  That should be the case in ALL we do!  Does it make safe to even consider the opposite?  Let's make this holiday unsafe?  Nope.  It just does not make sense.  Sadly though there are those who have made this an unsafe day and so well all need to keep our eyes and ears open.

Dressing up as you go about your business today can brighten the observance for you and for those you come in contact with.  A simple "Happy Halloween!" greeting is also a nice gesture.

 

Want to help others this day? Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF! Yes, it is normally a planned out program, but you can spend some time explaining what UNICEF is and why it's important and then "seed" the collection with a donation of your own.  The United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) works in more than 190 countries and territories to save and improve children's lives.  You can find out more about this program at http://www.unicef.org/support/14884.html

Goodbye to The Hat Lady

San Francisco lost another bit of its magic on Monday when The Hat Lady, Ruth Dewson, was born to eternal life.  The longtime proprietor of Mrs Dewson's Hats had been in declining health for several years forcing her to close her beloved store last spring after nearly four decades. 

 

Former San Francisco Mayor  Willie Brown, Bruce Springsteen, and Samuel L. Jackson are among the famous who wore her hats, but the local ladies who still wear hats to church would shop there too.  Some customers thought she was cranky or even rude (in fact you can still read numerous bad yelp reviews), but Mrs Dewson was always sweet to me.  She would even have a twinkle in her eye.

 

There are good reviews of her old shop and of her, on yelp too.  There are other good things one can say.  Even though I was never a customer, I met her long ago and always enjoyed our chats.  That brilliant smile and the twinkle in her eyes always made my day.  She got things done too.  It was Ruth Dewson who organized the Western Addition Foundation for Girls.  She is credited with starting the Fillmore Jazz Festival.  She always spoke her mind.  At one point she considered a run for the San Francisco Board of Supervisors but concluded it just wasn't for her.

 

It was just a week ago that I saw her near one of my favorite Hayes Valley haunts and near the facility where she had been living.  With an attendant pushing her wheelchair she insisted on stopping after I shouted "Hey Hat Lady."  Her smile was a big as ever and she told me that she was doing better and might be able to leave the facility and live on her own again.  Alas, she got that one wrong.

Goodbye Hat Lady.  Thanks for making a difference!

 

Visitation will be on November 13th from 5-7pm at The Bryant Mortuary, 635 Fulton Street, San Francisco, 

Funeral services will be the following day, November 14th at 11am at

the Jones Memorial United Methodist Church, 1975 Post Street, San Francisco. 

Burial will be in San Joaquin National Cemetery, 32053 W. McCabe Road, Gustine, CA. 

Marriage is about love

When I began writing this blog a few years ago, same-sex marriages were only legally permitted in five countries and on US state (Massachusetts).  A lot has happened since then!  A LOT!

Same-sex marriage is legally recognized nationwide in Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, The Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Uruguay.  Gay marriages can be performed in parts of the United States now besides Massachusetts. Right now, 38% of the US population – issue marriage licenses for same-sex couples.

Fourteen states (California, Connecticut, Delaware, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island, Vermont and Washington), allow same-sex marriage, plus the District of Columbia, eight counties in New Mexico and eight Native American tribal jurisdictions.  It is expected that Hawaii will be added to that list very soon.

With all that good news, it is important to note that so much of the world and so much of this country still discriminates.  Marriage is about love, not gender and it needs to become available to ALL who wish to marry!

Sail away

The weather here in San Francisco has been incredible these last few weeks.  It's easy to close our eyes and get caught up in a vision of sailing to a storybook land of opportunity.   Our live are actually filled with opportunities. We don't always see them, but they are there. Sometimes we just have to relax and open our eyes and our hearts. The journey we are on differs from person to person of course but we all have opportunities. There is no need to give up.

Sometimes when telling my stories here, a quote comes to mind and I have one today that seems appropriate.  The great essayist and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson said "We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities."

Live life to its fullest.  Seize your opportunities!  Enjoy your voyage.

A 50/50 Update

Go Inspire Go had this crazy idea to bring the stories of 50 people in 50 states to life in one really inspiring journey but it would take time and money.  We talked about it several times here back in May.  I was excited then.  I'm even more excited now!

 

After a pretty incredible fundraising effort, GiG's chief inspirator Toan Lam set out with the help of volunteers, to begin making those videos.  It may seem like a long time, but these things take time.  I've been in touch with Toan a little and know that they have already captured a few stories - still many more to record.  This is so worth waiting for though.  The stories they have already presented have all really touched me.  People have gotten more involved as a result of the videos.  It is truly heartwarming.  I have to admit that Toan is the most inspiring person I have ever met.  He makes me want to be a better person.

 

Slowly we will begin seeing these 50/50 stories.  I really don't know details.  I do know that you should be watching because this will be moving.  Of that I am certain.  Find out more about Go Inspire Go too.  Check out their website at http://goinspirego.com/ - those incredible 50/50 stories begin in just a few weeks.  They launch on Tuesday, November 19th.

this just in . . .

A few updates for you this morning.  I sometimes for get to go back and tell you how things turn out, so here is a little about several things since we last mentioned them here.

The Rainbow Honor Walk, celebrating the heroes and heroines of the LGBT community, which we wrote about a couple of times here, is going ahead with the installation of the initial plaques. In the online fundraiser for them, $5,600 was raised!

Eric I. Lu of the Jubilee Project is walking to raise funds down in Tustin, CA for the Alzheimer's Association and so far has raised $500. This is in addition to the wonderful video they made which in it first two weeks on youtube has had 16,000 views! Wow! Haven't seen it yet? Just click HERE. Also, if you want to support Eric in Saturday's walk-a-thon, click HERE.

 

Last Sunday I wrote here about the San Francisco LGBT Center.  An interesting thing happened - more people read that entry in the first 24 hours than anything I have written here before!

 

Oh and news of one more fundraiser that I have written about here - my friend Jason Villalobos is doing AIDS LifeCycle once again and has set a HUGE goal:  $10,000.  He will get there but only if everyone helps out.  So far Jason has raised $340.  His fundraising page is HERE.

 

Curious about something I wrote about a long time ago and how it might be doing now?  Ask and I'll try to find out.  Have a suggestion about someone or something you think we should talk about?  Let me hear from you about that too! 

Spirit Day 2013

I began talking here about bullying yesterday and I want to continue today because today was made in response, particularly to the bullying of lgbt teens.  In memory of the many young people who lost their lives to suicide, teenager Brittany McMillan encouraged her friends to wear purple on a day in October - a day that came to be known as Spirit Day. Getting involved is easy.  All you have to do is "go purple" today as we work to create a world in which LGBT teens are celebrated and accepted for who they are.

 

The It Gets Better campaign is also helpful to teens who are troubled about their gender identity or sexual orientation.  Families have disowned their kids and churches have excluded them.  Teasing and bullying and even physical assaults can take their toll on your piece of mind, but the reminder is that it does get better.  Yes, there are jerks in the world, but they are wrong.  ALL people are worthwhile and ALL people are loveable, regardless of sex, gender identity, or sexual orientation.

 

A young gentleman I know made a powerful video a few years ago that speaks to that.  Tears come to my eyes whenever I watch this, but Emmanuel Romero speaks the truth.   Click HERE to see his message.

 

Spread your own messages too.  Wearing purple is a good first step - a visible sign that there are supporters, but we really need to do more.  Spread the word that we are ALL loveable.  Spread the word that bullying has no place anywhere.  Together we really can make a difference!

taking on the bullies

How many lives have been cut short due to bullying?  We don't need to know a number, because ANY life lost is too many!  Bullying should have no place in our schools or in our churches or in the lives of our kids.  We need to take on the bullies and put an end to their evil.

 

Tomorrow may will be wearing purple as the third annual Spirit Day takes place and again brings awareness to bullying.  Wearing purple is a wonderful sign of solidarity, but wee need to do much more.  We need to stand up and speak out.  We don't always see it, but bullying is very widespread.  The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that in 2011, 20% of students in grades 9–12 experienced bullying.  Don't be surprised if you never heard anything from your own children.  Bullying often goes unreported.

 

Speak out means we need to convince our kids that it is important for them to report these things to us.  As adults, we need to tackle bullying head-on and let the bullies know that such behavior is not tolerated.  We need to stand up to the bullies.  We cannot tolerate such behavior and we cannot sit silent when our children are taking their own lives when they cannot bear the bullying any longer.

Spirit Day, which is tomorrow, is one way we can stand up and speak out all together.  People are urged to wear the color purple as a sign of solidarity.  (Purple is the "spirit" color on the rainbow flag).  We aim to create a world in which teenagers, especially lgbt teens,  are celebrated and accepted for who they are. Wearing the color is only part of it.  We need to become more involved and we need to speak up!

 

The Center

Living in San Francisco, I of course know of The San Francisco LGBT Center on Market Street (at Octavia).  I've actually been inside many times.  Yesterday though was different.  Yesterday was eye-opening.  I learned more about The Center in just a few hours than I had in its past ten years of existence.

 

Before yesterday, I thought of The Center as a venue; a place where lgbt events might be held.  I had assumed that the place was run mostly by volunteers with a couple of staff people coordinating their efforts.  I really had not thought much more about it.  In the past couple of years, I have realized that there is a board of directors and that a couple of my personal friends even serve on that board.  Yesterday, it was high time I found out more!

 

Find out I did!  There are a number of programs there that seem to really be making a huge difference in the lives of our lgbt community and yes, there are volunteers, but also a dedicated professional staff, led by Executive Director Rebecca Rolfe, to make these programs happen.  Economic development programs at The Center assist LGBT jobseekers in finding safe and secure employment and also help LGBT-run businesses flourish and grow.  Programs for Children, Youth and Family and be found there as well.  Health and Wellness programs focus not only on HIV/AIDS, but also things like general health access and sexual abuse or domestic abuse as it relates to lgbt people.  Wellness Days there feature certified professionals offering services such as nutritional counseling, massage, acupuncture; and even hypnotherapy.

 

Oh, it is a venue too.  So much happens there every week.  In addition to what I already have mentioned, twelve-step programs meet there.  Community groups rent space for special events.  There is also KidSpace for infants, toddlers, and youngsters just beginning school. There are even things for the older members of the lgbt community to participate in.

 

Yesterday I learned that this is indeed a busy space and that donations and volunteers do indeed help keep things moving.  There are so many levels for everyone to participate on that I am certain to be telling you more as I learn more and experience more myself.  In the meantime, you can find a ton of information about The Center at http://www.sfcenter.org/

I could really use a wish right now

You no doubt have heard of the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the wonderful wishes they have granted for children with life-threatening medical conditions.  There have been a number of kids who have had San Francisco themed wishes. 

An 18-year-old who had been battling lymphoma wanted to meet Tim Lincecum of the San Francisco Giants a few years back. Not only did Timmy hang out with the young fan, he pitched a winning game and made a wish come true. 

Next month there will be a much more elaborate wish realized here in San Francisco.  A little five-year-old boy from Tulelake in Northern California has been fighting leukemia.  His wish though is to fight crime and that's pretty much what he will do when San Francisco turns into Gotham City for a day.  San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee will present the youngster with a key to the city in a special ceremony at City Hall after a day of crime fighting that will include the Joker, the Riddler, and Penguin.  Thousands of people have already signed up to participate in various ways.  This really sounds exciting.

Want to participate too?  Click HERE for more information or to donate or signup.  There are so many more heart-warming stories on the Make-A-Wish national homepage at http://wish.org/

making that Rainbow Walk happen

Back on September 13, nearly a month ago, I told you that San Francisco is preparing to install a Rainbow Honor Walk that recognizes LGBT notables. The individual plaques cost money of course and there will later be associated cost of upkeep.  Initially a lot (including installation labor) is being donated, but those plaques are the main cost. 

A fundraising campaign has been underway with a $5,000 goal. I said, why not make it $10,000? We can do it! We really can! Now we are down to the wire. The fundraiser ends in about 48 hours. We can still do it.  The leadership committee for this includes some of my favorite people, so I know this is going to be great.

Let people know about our past.  Help honor the lgbt greats who have paved the way for us.  Click HERE to donate.  These are the first 20 Honorees:

Jane Addams (1860-1935)

James Baldwin (1924-1987)

George Choy (1960-1993)

Federico García Lorca (1898-1936)

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997)

Keith Haring (1958-1990)

Harry Hay (1912-2002)

Sylvester James (1947-1988)

Christine Jorgensen (1926-1989)

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

Del Martin (1921-2008)

Yukio Mishima (1925-1970)

Bayard Rustin (1912-1987)

Randy Shilts (1951-1994)

Gertrude Stein (1874-1946)

Alan Turing (1912-1954)

Tom Waddell (1937-1987)

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

Tennessee Williams (1911-1983)

Virginia Woolf (1882-1941)

There's room for a lot more plaques. The Rainbow Honor Walk is going to have plaques on both sides of Market street from Castro to Gough Streets. This is such an exciting project and I do hope you can help!  EVERY donation is important.  Give a dollar or a hundred dollars!  Click HERE to go to the secure fundraising page.  Thanks for your help!

some days the fingers don't work

Carpal tunnel syndrome (a condition in which there is excessive pressure on the median nerve) can cause great pain to someone who types a lot.  I might have a touch of that.  I'm also recovering from an infection on my left pinky.  Somehow this morning the combination doesn't make for a good start for this writing. 

There have been days when I have thought how much more personal this might be if I said it all via video conference or a simple audio clip.  Writing though is easier to deal with  - you can print it out and carry it with you.  Still, how much am I giving you if my fingers are sore and don't want to touch the keys?

Ah!  I get it!  Even if it doesn't feel like a good morning for typing, I still have at least shared something!

a cherished right

I'm not sure how many Americans think about this wonderful cherished right we have - voting.  So many parts of the world do not allow this great choice to be made by the people.  In the early US, women could not vote or run for office.

In 1948 the United Nations adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, and Article 21 stated: "Everyone has the right to take part in the government of his country, directly or through freely chosen representatives. The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures."  This does not mean that voting is widespread all over the world though.

 

In the United States, voting is a right for all adult men and women, yet do most people cast a vote?  According to the Federal Elections Commission, the answer is no.  In 2012 only 53.6% of elegible voters turned out.  The numbers are much worse in years when there is no presidential election, like this year.  Yet there are still important matters on the ballot.

When we talk here about making a difference, here is one simple way we ALL can make a difference!  Register, and then vote!

Breast cancer awareness

Breast Cancer Awareness Month, is organized each year by major breast cancer charities to increase awareness of the disease and to raise funds for research into its cause, prevention, diagnosis, treatment and cure. The campaign also offers information and support to those who have been affected by breast cancer, including both victims and families. Breast cancer in men which is rare, is also generally overlooked, and so several male breast cancer advocacy groups have joined together to globally establish the third week of October as "Male Breast Cancer Awareness Week."

So with awareness comes early diagnosis which leads to a better chance of full recovery. How much awareness is there though? Are people getting checked regularly? Is there still self-examination? When was the last time you even thought about breast cancer? Did you know that the first noticeable symptom of breast cancer is typically a lump that feels different from the rest of your breast tissue, and that the vast majority of breast cancer cases are discovered when the woman feels a lump? This is why awareness is such a big thing!

Casual reading on a daily blog is not a good place to get all of your facts. I won't ever pretend that to be the case. Check out the American Cancer Society's website though. Talk to your doctor too.

 

For a good overall look at coping, I'd also recommend a book by former television reporter Betty Rollin called First You Cry. It was 39 years ago that the highly public diagnoses of First Lady Betty Ford and Happy Rockefeller, wife of vice-president-designate Nelson Rockefeller brought breast cancer into the spotlight. Ms Rollin was diagnosed a year later in 1975, but her book still holds up well today. It, and so many things since, are all a part of the awareness.