My dear Jacob

I shared this before and have no idea who wrote it. Even though this is a Christmas story, it seemed appropriate to share this mother's story to her gay son, as we near the end of LGBT Pride Month. Enjoy!

My dear Jacob,

As I was going through a box of keepsakes, I came across a Christmas list you had written when you were a young boy. On the list were things we could easily find in stores, and I always enjoyed finding them for you, wrapping them up and putting them under our tree. You were always so appreciative and opened them with great joy. The joy Papa and I felt was even greater.

There is only one gift I want to give you this year. I have wanted to give it to you for many years. I have tried in every way possible to find a way to give it to you. It would bring me the greatest joy of all.

How do I give you equality? How do I give you back the years you have missed "not being equal" in this world?

Your high school and college years should have been ones where you dated and went to proms and dances with someone you were attracted to and wanted to spend time with as a couple. You should not have had to spend those years working for your equality. You should not have had to defend your dignity. You should not have had to miss out on the simple pleasures of a young teen and a young adult.

There is no way I can give you back those years, those times when you should have been having fun, enjoying life, and growing from those experiences. You had a passion for justice even as a child.

I remember when you were 4 and refused to eat supper until I had actually written the check for Save the Children. You were the watchdog in your kindergarten classroom after you felt your teacher was wrong to rip up a child's painting in front of the class in her effort to teach them to write their names on their papers. On that day you spoke truth to power so eloquently as you confronted your teacher after school.

As soon as you came out to us, you wanted to start a gay/straight alliance at your high school. We worried for your safety, but even more for the isolation it might have brought as you worked to make it happen. You reached out to students, teachers, and the administration and created your school's first gay/straight alliance.

When you were in college and heard that there were students being kicked out of colleges simply because they were gay, you founded another organization to confront that terrible wrong. Each of those times you taught me to take action and not be silent in the face of injustice. You have led me, and you have taught me throughout your life. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me to face Christmas each year and not be able to wrap up the one gift I most want to give you.

As a mother, it is such a part of my being to want to nurture and love my children. It is the mother in me that wants to protect and provide for you. It is the mother in me that is hurting so much when I am helpless in being able to give you the one gift I have wanted to give you since the day you told us you were gay.

I want to give you equality. I want to wrap it up in a beautiful box, and I want to put it under our tree right now. I want to see you open it on Christmas Eve and with great joy live with it all your days.

I love you,

       Mama

The non-gay supporters

With huge celebrations over the weekend in New York City, Nashville, Toronto, San Francisco, Chicago, and many other cities, the thing that warmed my heart the most was seeing so many non-gay elected officials out there being supportive.

This man, David Chiu, is the representative for half of San Francisco in the California State Assembly. I hope someday we see him in higher office - he does so much for so many. Look at the joy on his face as he walks up Market Street yesterday in San Francisco's parade!

It's nice to see the openly lgbtq politicians marching in parades. Remember when there were none? San Francisco certainly had a lot of gay and bisexual public servants in their parade this year, but the non-gay list was quite impressive too. California's Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom was in San Francisco's parade yesterday as well.  Remember when he got the ball rolling for marriage equality back in 2004?

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was a marcher this year too.  He was at Toronto's event and has been pictured wearing rainbow socks and with a temporary rainbow tattoo on his cheek.  (He has also marched in Vancouver Pride in the past).

One of the significant things about Pride is the celebration of unity, so the participation of our elected non-gay sisters and brothers is certainly important and seeing folks like Chiu, Newsom, and Trudeau is a great thing indeed.  It also warms my heart to see Seattle Mayor Ed Murray (who by the way is the first openly gay person to be elected to that position there) walking in that city's parade with his husband!   

It happened in Orlando

It happened in Orlando, Florida.  It could have been anywhere.  It happened at the Pulse nightclub there.  It happened one year ago today - an act of hate claiming 49 innocent lives.  There were another 53 people injured.  It was the deadliest mass shooting in modern US history.  It happened, and we should learn from it.  It happened and we should never forget.

Since that horrible night a year ago, how much have we done to see that violence like this never again happens?  How many have stood up and said "Enough!"  How many have walked in solidarity with their lgbtq sisters and brothers and taken a stand against hate?

One year later, is the massacre in Orlando still on people's minds?  One year ago do you remember much about that night?  One year later do you care about this hateful act?  I wrote here day after day last year, because I thought it was important.  I still think it is so important that at the very top of my blog page, there is a constant reminder of that night in Orlando.  Remember that night.

Remember each of the people too.  These were human beings.  Their lives were snatched from them by hate.  Remember their names.  Remember Stanley Almodovar III, Amanda Alvear, Oscar A Aracena-Montero, Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, Antonio Davon Brown, Darryl Roman Burt II, Angel L. Candelario-Padro, Juan Chevez-Martinez, Luis Daniel Conde, Cory James Connell, Tevin Eugene Crosby, Deonka Deidra Drayton, Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, Leroy Valentin Fernandez, Mercedez Marisol Flores, Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, Juan Ramon Guerrero, Paul Terrell Henry, Frank Hernandez, Miguel Angel Honorato, Javier Jorge-Reyes, Jason Benjamin Josaphat, Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, Christopher Andrew Leinonen, Alejandro Barrios Martinez, Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, Kimberly Morris, Akyra Monet Murray, Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, Joel Rayon Paniagua, Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, Enrique L. Rios, Jr., Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, Edward Sotomayor Jr., Shane Evan Tomlinson, Martin Benitez Torres, Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, Luis S. Vielma, Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, Jerald Arthur Wright.

Yesterday's Resist March and Equality March was a good step, but we need to do more.  There have been some backward steps in the past months, and we can't afford that.  We should all stand up together and say no to hate - ALL hate.  It happened before.  It can happen again.  Let's say no more!  Let us resist the negativity and remind everyone of the power of love!  Those 49 in Orlando had their lived cut short.  Let us hold them on our hearts, and honor them with action.

Equality March for Unity and Pride

There are so many special events tied to LGBT Pride Month, but a very important one comes up this Sunday and it's happening worldwide.  The Equality March for Unity and Pride is a truly grassroots movement with small and large marches springing up all over, mobilizing the diverse LGBTQ communities to stand up against hate and to continue demanding full equality for everyone.

The co-chairs for this huge undertaking are Anika Simpson, Ashley Smith, Catalina Velasquez, David Bruinooge, Elle Hearns, José L. Plaza, Lydia X. Z. Brown, Lynnette McFadzen, Nicole Murray Ramirez, Sean Coleman, Sue Doster, and Thomas Tonatiuh Lopez.  Of course there are organizers in so many communities, it would be impossible to list them all. 

The times vary and not every single city has an event.  Click HERE to find information for any events close to you, and then go and join in.  Nothing happening in your town?  Head out to the nearest place where there is an Equality March, or organize something in your city yourself.  (Check for necessary permits.  A simple gathering in a park or on private property is one of the simplest things to organize).  Let people know about it via facebook and twitter.  For more information about organizing and to add your event to the list, click HERE.

The huge event in Washington, DC begins at 17th St NW and I St NW at 10am on June 11th.  To register for that one, click HERE.  It's always energizing to be at a Washington march!

I hope many of you will be able to participate in Equality March this Sunday!  Oh and there are also shirts available at http://store.equalitymarch2017.com/

Thanks Ellen

Just over a month ago, we celebrated "The Puppy Episode" of Ellen, the groundbreaking sitcom on abc-tv.  I have written here a number of time about its star Ellen DeGeneres, who inspired me to begin writing a daily kindness blog and who put a face on the lgbt community.  Yes there had been other out lgbt celebrities, but Ellen was the girl-next-door and showed the world that gay people are just...well, just people.

Writing here about lgbt topics during the LGBT Pride Month, I just had to say something about Ellen once again.  She's one of my heroes!  I have actually enjoyed her since the very first time I saw her with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show, way back in the 80s, but now I don't just love her as a performer, I admire and respect all that she does for the the lgbt community and for the world.

Her mom, Betty DeGeneres is pretty great too.  I had the great privilege of meeting Betty, and I hope to someday meet Ellen too.  Betty is an active member of Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) and spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaign's Coming Out Project.  She authored two books about Ellen's coming out and their relationship: Love, Ellen: A Mother Daughter Journey and Just a Mom.

Every single time Ellen says "my wife," I smile.  It wasn't that long ago when we simply wouldn't hear a woman refer to another woman as her wife, even if they were gay.  It just wasn't said.  On her talk show, Ellen entertains, but she is quick to hit the political button when necessary and she won't shy away from lgbt issues.

One more things though - Ellen is a gay woman who has done so much for the lgbt community, but she does wonderful things for every community.  The people she honors on her program are all kinds of neighborhood heroes, and that Ellen showcases these individuals, I think makes her even more of a hero.  Thanks Ellen!

Jason

How appropriate it is that AIDS LifeCycle takes place during LGBT Pride Month and that Jason Villalobos is there on his bike once again, making the trip from San Francisco to Los Angeles. I first met Jason back in 2009 when he made an impassioned speech at an Save ADAP (AIDS Drug Assistance Program) event on the steps of San Francisco City Hall. Since then I have had the great pleasure f getting to know him and to see close up his dedication to HIV/AIDS awareness and advocacy and other important lgbt issues. I learned instantly that Jason's heart is the biggest of anyone you will ever meet. I know this blog is not about me, but I would be remiss if I didn't mention that he cares so much about people, that he called me just this week, because he was concerned about me.

As you read this, Jason has probably packed and is ready to head up to the Cow Palace in Daly City to hop on his bike and do what I believe is his seventh AIDS Walk.  It is his inspiration that keeps me writing this blog and his determination that gets me out to AIDS Walk each summer to do my little bit in this fight for a cure.  I'm thrilled that he made his goal this year.  You can push his total even higher too - just click HERE to donate.

I'm one of the lucky ones who has been able to spend time with many different lgbt heroes.  Many of those lgbt superstars are non-gay too - yes, our allies can make a huge difference.  Each person has contributed in different ways.  We still have a long way to go though.  During his inaugural address on January 21, 2013, President Barack Obama said "Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law for if we are truly created equal, then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well." 

Jason Villalobos shines as a bright light, not only for HIV/AIDS education and awareness, but in the struggle for all lgbt people to be treated equally.  Jason is my first Pride Month hero, and as I said yesterday, I will be writing about lgbt matters all month long, because lgbt matters!

The Whole Month

Looking back, I discovered that the word "gay" or "lgbt" comes up in many of my blog entries, but certainly not all of them.  When I began this many years ago, Pam Spaulding and a number of others, regularly blogged about lgbt issues, and I wanted to speak here more generally about folks making a difference.  This month though, for the first time, I am going to change my focus and write something connected to lgbt matters each day.  June is lgbt Pride Month, and so it seems like an appropriate thing to do.  As always, your comments below are most welcome.

I might reprint a few of my previous entries - the Herb Caen one and another about Harvey Milk come to mind, and I might update on some lgbt news, but in keeping with our theme, I really want to focus on some heroes.  So, while I welcome your comments, I hope for some suggestions too.

I suspect that someone will object to an all-lgbt month here in this space, but to that I will say the same thing I wrote here back on July 1, 2013:  "Unfortunately there are a lot of folks who don't get it.  When people complain about so much coverage of 'gay news' they forget that what there is the rest of the time is coverage of everything else.  LGBT people are still discriminated against more than any other group (especially the transgender part of that) and until that discrimination is gone, a light most shine into that darkness."

Get ready for a whole month of light!