From the obituary

May they rest in peace

"Jeffrey Robert Conn, 75, and Linda Kay Conn, 76, of Sylvania, died days apart during Thanksgiving week from COVID-19," begins a recent obituary for an Ohio couple. I didn't know the Conns and although they were pretty well known in their own community, folks outside of that small Toledo suburb probably wouldn't recognize their name. I'm writing about them though because of words their children wrote in their parent's obituary.

"In lieu of flowers the family requests that you simply wear a mask when you are out in public and practice social distancing. It is not a difficult thing to do. It is not an infringement on your freedom or civil liberties. It is literally the least, smallest thing you can do to help reduce the risk that vulnerable members of our community will die unnecessarily and leave their loved ones heartbroken and devastated."

Wise words and accurate ones too. The newspaper account also said "Jeff and Linda will be remembered by their children as the most loving, caring, supportive, protective and generous parents any child could hope for." They sound like wonderful people. I know they will long be remembered. I'll remember their children for the important message they sent in their time of grief: "wear a mask when you are out in public and practice social distancing."

Countdown

 Ten Days Until Christmas Begins

The song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" really gets it right.  This year I think we need it more than ever, and I hope all lot of folks will celebrate all twelve days.  To be safe, we really shouldn't be getting together, but decorations that others can see is a great way to go.  I also love the season of giving and the emphasis that is placed on helping folks who are without.  

This year has required a lot of re-inventing, so let's keep it going.  Watch those wonderful holiday movies and tv programs.  Listen to the wonderful music.  Get of the phone and send good wishes to folks you wish you could be with.  Did you stop sending Christmas cards?  Perhaps this is the year to bring back that tradition.  Let yourself be wrapped up in joy, despite all the difficulties in the world.

How else might we celebrate this wonderful time?  Let us hear your comments.  Be creative.  Spread the happiness and joy all over!

Not Kiddo

 Call me as I wish  

Just about everyone has heard about The Wall Street Journal column last week, where Joseph Epstein suggested soon-to-be first lady Jill Biden stop using the title "doctor" with her name. Well, even though just about everyone has had something to say, I'd like to add my thoughts.

First of all I want to say how much I admire and respect Dr Biden, and yes I will call her that because that's what she prefers.  It really doesn't need to go any further than that.  A person's name, including any title, is a personal thing, and not to use their preferred form of address is simply rude.  You would certainly not use "Kiddo," unless you were being deliberately rude.

I need to thank Joseph Epstein though. His column has opened a lot of dialogue and has even caused me to rethink something. Here in the United States, we primarily use "doctor" to refer to those who practice medicine. I get it. Perhaps it's time for us all to rethink this though. The word "doctor" comes rom Latin docēre to teach.  Isn't that exactly what Dr Jill Biden does at Northern Virginia Community College?

Now I'll admit that I have long felt that titles and degrees are best used when they best relate to the situation.  My mother would sign chart entries "E. Louise Fullam, RN."  She never signed birthday cards to me that way though.  I have a number of physician friends that I would never dream of calling doctor, but if I was speaking of them to someone who might be a patient, I most certainly would.

At the end of the day though, I think it's important to look at someone's preference.  As with personal pronouns, it is rude to call them anything other that what they prefer.

Christmas is coming

But not yet

It's almost time, but still not yet. The familiar tale of a bright star in the heavens that led a group of wise men to Jerusalem to visit the newborn Jesus over 2,000 years ago will be told again this year, but not yet. That story comes at the end of the season. It is on the last day of Christmas that we celebrate the three kings. Before that we tell of the birth, but not yet.

 

I know this has been a horrible year and even as a child I could hardly wait for Christmas, but it simply isn't here yet regardless of what others may say.  It's amazing to me that every single year we seem to get earlier and earlier. I think I have mentioned at an old department store used to have Christmas displays up on my birthday - which is in August! Please don't think I'm a Scrooge.  I like Christmas a lot.  It's perhaps my favorite time of the year, but not yet.

 

I think that every day is special.  We can help the poor and we can give toys to needy kids and we can make a difference in the world, every single day.  We don't need to pretend that Christmas is four months long (or more).  And lest we forget, they say holiday season for a reason.  There are several holidays at this time of year and some of them last for more than a day.  So let's take our time and enjoy them all.  Let's take each holiday and celebration in turn.  When December 25th rolls around, we will have plenty of time to celebrate - twelve days, as a matter of fact.

 

One of the reasons people often get so depressed at this time of year is that there is such a rush and such a big demand for a celebration, before it's even time.  Then, when the time comes, people calmly walk away and say it's over.  No!  Don't do that.  Let the celebration continue.  Don't put your Christmas tree out on the curb on December 25th.  Celebrate those twelve days, even if nobody else does.  There will be an after-Christmas period, and it might be a little blue, but don't rush to it.  There is going to be some good in January too, but not yet.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Different

Maybe David Bowie's famous song was about the frequent changes in our world, the frequent reinventions of his own musical style back in the day when he sang it, or perhaps it was about his ever-changing personality. I don't have an answer, but for some reason his hit song Changes, was on my mind when I woke up this morning. 2020 certainly has been a year of changes!

How many of us would like to work from home or? What about homeschooling? Who would have thought staying away from other people would become normal behavior? The COVID-19 pandemic has made us rethink so many things and yes, to also make many changes. Recently I encountered issues with technology and as a result had to make changes. Of course the national political landscape is seeing a lot of changes too. The great British Prime Minister Winston Churchill once said "To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often." Well this year just might be moving us to perfection!

So many of us are becoming more aware of our friends and neighbors - how can we help them? How can we let them know we care? We now wear masks on a regular basis. Many of us use grocery delivery these days. Working from home and having meeting via the internet is the new normal. How many people have found new ways of making money (such as making and selling masks)? 

Years ago, a wonderful friend of mine taught me a different way of looking at things. He actually used that word: different. It's not that something is necessarily better than something else. Just look at it as different. Author and minister Joyce Meyer say "Don't be afraid of change, because it is leading you to a new beginning." New isn't always good or bad. It's just different.

Good News Bad News

 Good News/Bad News

Oh my!  What a year this has been, huh?  It seems like every time we see good news, it comes along with some bad.  ENOUGH!  Yes, the world is not hw we might want it, but I choose to celebrate the good.  There is a lot of it out there after all.  In the midst of this pandemic and hard times, I keep hearing of people doing incredible things.  Let's have more of that.  

Did you see who Time chose as Person of the Year?  Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.  That was an encouraging sign and indeed some good news.  Oh and we are getting closer each day to having the CODID-19 vaccine available.  More good news.

There is bad - a LOT of it, but I'm not going to list it here.  Instead, I want to encourage us all to keep working for the good.  We can make this a better world.  We can make lots of good news.  Together we can truly make a difference!

Beginning tonight

The Festival of Lights

It is not mentioned in the Torah but Hanukkah is one of the most joyous and highly anticipated Jewish festivals of the entire year. It's the Festival of Lights and tells the story of the Maccabees, and their victory over their oppressors and the miracle of the menorah burning for eight full days.

Potato latkes, beef brisket, sufganiyot, and gelt are just some of the yummies our Jewish friends will be enjoying as Hanukkah begins tonight. It is NOT Jewish Christmas. It is a celebration of something completely different and with different traditions. Oh and while Christmas is twelve days long, Hanukkah is celebrated for a duration of eight days, ending this year on Friday, December 18th.

So, tonight or tomorrow, be sure to wish all of your Jewish friends a Happy Hanukkah!

Absence

MORE  TO  COME

It has been said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Oh dear!  That isn't why I've been gone.  It's actually been due to internet availability.  Yes, even in 2020 there are still moments when technology is not there when we want it.  

There are still many more stories to tell though, so keep checking back.  I do hope we will return to our regular daily basis tomorrow or at least this week.  There indeed is more to come.  Until then, scroll backwards and read some of the stories you may have missed from the past.

One more thing:  Stay safe!

Protecting your identity

If you have ever had your identity stolen, you know what a hassle it can be. Actually it's more of a horror. If this is something you have never heard about, it is not literally possible to steal an identity of course, what we are talking about here is when anyone uses your personally identifying information, like your name, your driver's license number, Social Security, or credit card number, without your permission, to commit a fraud. Cases of identity theft are on the rise.

Why do I mention this now? Well, December is Identity Theft Prevention and Awareness Month. It's a good time to become more aware of who might have access to your personal information and who might misuse it.

Being watchful is a big help. Always go over your bank statements for example. Also, did you know that you are entitled to one free credit report per year of each of the three national credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion)? Just go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com

California is really leading the way in fighting a kinds of identity theft. Most states have followed California's lead and have enacted mandatory data breach notification laws. Under these laws, companies that report a data breach will typically report it to all their customers.

Stay safe. Protect your personal information and protect the information of your dependents. Share this information too. We all need to be aware. The earlier you catch any problems, the easier they are to resolve.

Where we stand with COVID-19

This is not the place to look for updates about COVID-19. As I have said before, things are changing so fast, it is much better to get information from trusted news sources and The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. I have made mention though from time to time, and will do so again this morning.

Please trust the people who know. Please. It's important. This isn't political. This isn't a hoax. This is very real. When the CDC issues guidelines, it's because they KNOW. It isn't a game. I know it is terribly inconvenient. I realize too that folks are lonely and holidays are upon us. We still need to stay safe and we need to help others be safe. 

One thing I have heard over and over is "My body is strong. I can fight the virus and win." Perhaps. How about your 86 year old grandmother that you went to see? How about that friend of yours who is a diabetic and just had her first round of chemotherapy in her cancer fight? The people you come in contact with might not have an immune system as strong as yours. Think about them too.

We are also now in flu season.  Did you get a flu shot?  While the COVID-19 vaccine is not yet available, the flu vaccine is.  Protect yourself.

One more reminder about all the easy things we can all do to help protect ourselves and those around us. Wear a mask, stay at least six feet apart, avoid crowds, and wash your hands often.  Let's all do our part.  This will end, but hopefully when it ends, our friends and our family members will still be around.  Let's all do our part.

Focus on AIDS

Today, as you probably know, is World AIDS Day. How many of you remember life before there was AIDS? Let's get to a day where once again, it doesn't exist. Of course these days we are also concerned with COVID-19.

So just what can we do about AIDS? Well to start out, we can be part of the fight - not just on World AIDS Day or when someone asks for a donation for AIDS Walk or AIDS LifeCycle. Don't be concerned just right now as you read this, but be concerned, until there's a cure. 

Also we should all know our own status. It is so easy to get tested too. If you have a doctor of your own, you might want to do it there, but there are also so many other places to get tested, especially if you live in a major city. Oh and if you live in a small town and are afraid, take a short vacation to the big city and while you are checking out the sites, have an AIDS test too.

The World Health Organization is calling on leaders and citizens around the world to be in “global solidarity” to maintain essential HIV services during COVID-19 and beyond. It is vital to protect people from HIV during the pandemic, and ensure they can maintain treatment.

You are probably familiar with the NAMES Project Memorial Quilt, which was conceived back in 1985, by AIDS activist Cleve Jones. This year, because of COVID-19 and the need for physical distancing, the Quilt is going digital for World AIDS Day. Please go to https://www.aidsmemorial.org/virtual-exhibition where you can even search for specific panels. This very moving exhibition is free to the public and continues through March 31, 2021.

Want some more things you can do? Say a prayer. Write a check. Attend a vigil. Help a person with AIDS go shopping or clean house. Care. Write letters. Wear a red ribbon. Stay educated. Help dispel the myths. Help provide meals. The list really can go on and on. This is not just a December 1st thing, it's an every day thing.  Care.