While we are waiting

While we are waiting for election results to all be clear and to be certified, let's all take a deep breath and get back to being good neighbors, good citizens.  I was thinking especially about random acts of kindness.  Feeding the hungry seems to be at the top of most lists, but there are so many ways to do this.  So today I give you a list, in no particular order, of various random acts of kindness, many of which cost little or nothing and take very little time.  Maybe some of these will give you ideas of your own!  

Here's a simple one: call, text, or email some folks you know have little contact with others.

Sing an employee's praises to their manager or on a comment card — a little recognition goes a long way. Believe it or not, people complain more often than praise even though most workers deserve the praise more often than the complaint.

 

Load extra money in vending machines to buy the next person's snacks when they come along.  It will be a pleasant surprise for them!  Leaving a few coins out at the laundromat does the same thing.

 

When paying for your breakfast in a restaurant, ask for the check of a random diner (especially someone who is elderly or who is dining alone) and pay it without their knowing.

Help a friend see today in a wondrous new light: present them with a kaleidoscope. (They really aren't very expensive and are available in most toy stores).

Donate blood.  This is a favorite of mine because it saves lives

 

My list could go on and on of course.  Perhaps you would like to add your own suggestions in the comments section below.

the importance of voting

Some places on this earth do not let the people have a say in pretty much anything. Then there are countries, like ours, where the people do have a voice, but sadly don't always use it.  Today is Election Day.  This year we seem to be hearing about it more than ever.  It has always been important.

 

In the United States, the people decide who holds office.  We choose our mayors and governors and legislators and sheriffs and of course we the people decide who will be our president.  We have the power!  State and local propositions are there for our consideration too.  There are important things for us to decide on.  Sadly, some folks never even register to vote and of those who do register, many don't even bother to cast a ballot.  Don't be one of them.  Let your voice be heard!

 

It's sad when we have this incredible right and we ignore it.  To be able to shape our towns and states and our country is a great privilege that, as I said, folks in many parts of the world cannot do.  Will we see results this week?  Some, but possibly not all.  It takes time to count votes.  This year it is expected to take much more time.  Turn on your tv and watch election returns, but don't expect to go to bed tonight knowing who won each and every race.  Before you watch those results though, let me again remind you to 

VOTE!

Hero Headquarters

This space could easily be hero headquarters, because I certainly write here a lot about heroes. I've asked about your heroes and said what I think it takes. I have written about a number of folks that I think are heroes. I've even quoted the wise words of Jason Chu, who in his song Marvels said "We become heroes because of what makes us human." What more than is there to say?

Well our ideas of a hero are not all the same. A hero to you might not be one to me. Lately I have seen more and more heroes and that is something to celebrate. That wonderful human factor - that love of good and decency.  We all are capable of doing something heroic.  It doesn't mean we have to pull someone from a burning building or out of a car wreck.  We don't have to thwart an armed robbery or help an old lady who just had her purse snatched, to be a hero.  Each of us can be heroes in our own way.

The many activists who stand up for justice and equality belong in this category too.  The unconditional love - the "making a difference" kind of people:  heroes.  There seem to be more and more folks coming out and changing the world.  You can be a hero too!  You can make a difference.  Perhaps you already are.  I'd love to hear about it in the comments below.  Tell me about the heroes in your life!

F NOT Fitzgerald

The other day I read a wonderful quote that had been attributed to F Scott Fitzgerald. It was one of those encouraging things that often will end up on a poster, but as I was reading it, I also learned that the words were not his. Oh my! The article actually went on to say that there are many instances these days of quotes wrongly attributed on the internet.

Now Fitzgerald was an incredible writer. There is no denying that. He died at a very young age, but had he lived longer, there is no telling how many more wonderful stories he would have told. Among his works are This Side of Paradise, The Beautiful and Damned, The Great Gatsby, and Tender Is the Night. In addition, Fitzgerald penned dozens of short stories.

The quote I was speaking of though is the very kind of thing I like to share here. It likely came from a screenwriter by the name of Eric Roth. There is much evidence that it was not Fitzgerald's. Still, it's a wonderful quote:

“For what it’s worth … it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Butterfly

Butterflies are beautiful. There are so many different species and so many different colors. Did you know though that it can be a picture of your soul? Well, according to Kwaidan: Stories and Studies of Strange Things, by Lafcadio Hearn, a butterfly was seen in Japan as the personification of a someone's soul; whether they be living, dying, or are already dead. They have been pictured as symbols of the recently departed on television and in movies.  It seems to me that makes them even more beautiful!

 

Every morning I go for a walk to begin the day. Most of the time it is dark out when I begin and sometimes it is still dark when I finish my walk. It's amazing how many beautiful things you can see even before the sun comes up. During that time of year when the sun is rising earlier, I listen to the chirping of the early birds, and I look for flowers and even butterflies. I'm not sure when they sleep, but I so the most amazing butterfly the other day. It would pause for a moment and just as I was about to take its picture, it would flutter away to another tree branch.

Yes, this isn't at all like most of my posts. Maybe it's just an observation as we experience a different kind of world with social distancing. It seems like connecting with nature is always a good thing though. There's is a certain freedom is seeing the natural beauty of our world. Butterflies seem so free. Even their eating habits are beautiful. They survive mostly on nectar. Wow! One of the lovely images of nature.

I mean to be one too

Let us now praise famous men, and our fathers that begat us. This one verse from Ecclesiasticus, used to be read every year on All Saints' Day, because it gives a good summary of what the day is all about. A passage from the Revelation to Saint John also helps explain the day. "These are they who have come out of the great ordeal; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb." Of course a good preacher might be explaining the whole All Saints' Day concept to us, or we can look to a wonderful hymn that does an excellent job telling the story.

Written by a young Englishwoman, Lesbia Scott and first published back in 1929, "I sing a song of the saints of God" clearly sets out what All Saints' Day is all about. Today we honor all the saints, known and unknown. In the belief that there is a prayerful spiritual bond between those in heaven and those still living, we honor not only the named saints (such as those pictured in the icon here), but all the faithful. The word "all" is important to me here because I firmly believe that it is not just about the Blessed Virgin Mary, Blessed Paul the Apostle, Blessed Francis of Assisi, and the rest. It is about every single one of us because we all have the ability to do good things and to make a difference. 

Lesbia Scott's words seem to say the same thing. She lists a doctor, a queen, and a shepherdess in her first verse and then continues the list adding a soldier and a priest and one who was slain, in verse number two. It's really the third verse though that give me the greatest hope: 

"They lived not only in ages past,

There are hundreds of thousands still.

The world is bright with the joyous saints

Who love to do Jesus' will.

You can meet them in school, or in lanes, or at sea,

In church, or in trains, or in shops, or at tea;

For the saints of God are just folk like me,

And I mean to be one too."

There's the kicker: "And I mean to be one too." Yes, today is a celebration of the various saints down through the ages, but that is only part of it. "They lived not only in ages past, There are hundreds of thousands still."  Celebration?  Certainly.  Today though is also an invitation.  "And I mean to be one too."

Boo

Every Halloween I think back to this lovely lady who used to live across the street from my grandmother. She decorated her porch, entryway, and much of her house. The trick-or-treaters weren't just greeted with some candy at the door, they were invited in! This was back in a kinder, gentler time when strangers did nice things for others. Each year more and more kids showed up as the word got around.

I can't remember this lady's name but everyone on October 31st called her the Halloween House Lady. Once inside you could help yourself to apple cider or cocoa, popcorn balls, homemade lollipops, and you could bob for apples. There was spooky music playing and she always had some kind of costume. It wasn't my neighborhood, so I didn't know most of the people coming and going. Nana walked across the street with my sister and I, but I think a few times we went over by ourselves. The big thing I remember was everyone left her house happy. We had fun.

In many parts of this country, it isn't safe to go door to door and it certainly wouldn't be safe to go into a stranger's house and eat unwrapped food and candy. Too bad. This lady made a difference. She brightened people's lives. MANY years later and I can still remember like it was yesterday!

Turn Around

Do you feel like you are just going nowhere in your job or in you education or in your social activities? There are other options, you know. The song that says It's too late to turn back now, is WRONG. You can always change!

Now, I'm not saying that you should make a change. You are the one who needs to make that decision.  First, step back from the picture and look at all sides. You might want to talk about things with a close family member or friend. You might also want to seek out a professional for advice. Just know that because you are heading in a certain direction, doesn't mean you have to keep going that way. Is it the right direction for you?

No matter how long you have traveled in the wrong direction, you can always turn around. Nothing says you cannot admit being wrong. If you are, be confident and know that there is no shame in turning around.

 

Picture cooperation

I've told you this particular story about cooperation before, but I really like it, and since cooperation is such a great thing, I thought I'd share this story again.  (It isn't my story, by the way, but I don't know the author).

It's about a man who was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was exactly the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together – a picture of cooperation. Working together as a team, we can do so much more!

Think about it.  How wonderful this world would be if we all worked together!

Buddy can you spare a dime?

There probably aren't many of you who can remember all the way back to the 1932 song Buddy can you spare a dime, even though it was recorded by a number of different people. Perhaps you have been asked if you could spare a dime by someone on the street. Most who ask for a specific amount, are very willing to accept ANY amount. Being in need, is not a good thing, whether you are an individual, an entire family, or an organization trying to help others. They need donations, and they need them from us.

Does our donation have to be that dime? Oh no! We might not be much better off than they are. The list though of things we might donate really is endless. Sometimes when we think of giving, we divide into categories such as time, talent, and treasure. The treasure grouping is the one that gets the most attention. Give some money - the more the better. Our treasure might also include donations of used clothing or housewares or canned goods (to a food drive) or a car (many charities now look for used cars or even boats). Artwork might also be part of this list, and books too.

Donating our talent is a very valuable thing too. This is true whether your talent is taking blood pressures or giving tax advice or reading to children. Sometimes doing yard work or light cleaning can be a huge help to individuals in need.

Donating your time is another wonderful thing. Can you spend a few hours helping out in the office of our non-profit? Can you come in one day and help hand out bags of groceries? That yard work I mentioned - is it talent or time (or maybe both)?

Offer help in whatever way you can, even if it's just making friendly phone calls to check on the wellbeing of your neighbors.  As I have mentioned here a lot, giving takes many forms. Buddy, can you spare some time? Buddy, can you spare a dime? Giving in all its forms, is such a rewarding thing to do! 

how we paint it is up to us

For a number of years now I have profiled people and organizations who give back and really make a difference in our world and, when not doing that, have made suggestions about other ways we ALL can give back. Occasionally I get a bit ahead of myself and start doing multiple things at the same time. (Currently I am involved in several fundraisers for example and might not be giving fair attention to them all).

It is easy to spread yourself too thin. It is also easy for some folks to sit and do nothing. There is a halfway point though!  I don't think I am painting nearly as much as I want to.

What we do in life is of course up to us. We are given this broad canvas on which to paint, but the picture isn't known right away. Some of us might paint many pictures during our lifetime. We might get involved in many different things. Some of us will do less. Sadly, there will be some who do virtually nothing at all. The significant thing here is that how we paint, is up to us.

So, take that canvas, and make something really beautiful!

more and more new ideas

Every single morning I sit down to write something here about how we all can make a difference in this world of ours and after all these years, you might think I would run out of ideas.  Not so!  It seems there are more and more ideas every single day and I thank you for sharing some of them with me.  I'd always like to hear more too, so if you think of something I don't mention, please feel free to email me or write a comment below.

 

Just when you move past one really great idea, you see several other doors with all kinds of new possibilities.  Lately I have been seeing ideas everywhere!  In addition to this blog, I also write a few words every day about kindness.  I hope I will always have more and more new ideas in that regard.  We should never run out of new ways to be kind.
 

Some of the most inspiring things in life just come to us out of the blue.  You might be reading this blog or shopping for groceries or taking the kids off to school and suddenly an idea hits you.  If those are ideas that will benefit others, share them.  Who knows?  Your next idea might really change the world!

money from the sky

How wonderful it would be if money simply fell from the sky!  As you are well aware though, it does not!

 

How do homeless shelters operate?  Where does the money come from to take care of feeding the hungry or clothing those who cannot afford to buy clothes?  How do churches pay their bills?  What keeps the doors open at neighborhood free clinics?  How do help-agencies find the means to keep on going?  It takes money.  Yes, it takes desire and a willingness to do something, and volunteering is important, and the numerous paid employees of non-profits certainly are needed, but the big thing that is common is funding.  Where does that money come from?

 

The answer is that it comes, at least in part, from folks like me and you.  It doesn't rain down from heaven and many of us - probably most of us, cannot afford to give as much or as often as we would like.  So, here's an idea:  make a plan.  Set aside some money as you are able.  This is giveaway money.  Now choose where to give it.  Do you want to spread it out or give it all to one place?  Do you want to give more to one type of organization than to another?

 

How can you set money aside for this?  Well, do you really need that midday ice-cream?  Can you skip the afternoon latte?  Is it possible to spend a little less at the grocery store (perhaps checking the sale ads and also using coupons)?  If we all tighten our belts just a bit, we can have some of that giveaway money and for organizations in great need, it can be like money from the sky!

Dr King always said it so well

The past few days have been very frustrating.  I know that hate exists, but we are seeing it in huge amounts right now, and it's making me sick.  I don't think I will ever understand hate.

 

The words of the Rev Martin Luther King, Jr have always inspired me and brought be a sense of peace.  Whatever the subject, Dr King always said it so well.  In the past few days there have been a lot of quotes from him floating around.  This one in particular moved me:

 

"Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man's sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

Remembering Matthew

The Matthew Shepard story has its beginning back on December 1, 1976, when he was born to Judy and Dennis Shepard in Casper, Wyoming. Matthew went to public schools in Casper until his junior year of high school when he moved with his family to Saudi Arabia. It was college that would bring him back to Wyoming and his studies at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. We didn't know Matthew through any of this.

Sadly, it was on the network newscasts that we first heard of a young man who had been tied to a split-rail fence, savagely beaten beyond recognition, and left to die out in the cold. It wasn't until the next day that he was found by a bicyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

As many times as I have heard this story, it is still hard for me to believe that anyone could have this much hate for another human being and do such horrific things as were done to Matthew. His rescuers took him to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, CO where he died from blunt force trauma, his massive severe head injuries, six days later.  In the wee hours of October 12, 1998, Matthew passed away in that hospital, with his parents by his side and an entire world now knowing of this notorious anti-gay hate crime. 

In the past 26 years, more and more people have learned of that dreadful night when Matthew was attacked. Matthew has been depicted in films, television programs, musical works, novels, and plays, and his murder has inspired hate crime legislation, and the formation of organizations designed to fight hate. Judy and Dennis Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his life and to "amplify the story of Matthew Shepard to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people." 

On this October 12th, as I look back at this young life taken, I can't help think of all the hate crimes over the years against LGBTQ+ people.  Hate needs to end.  Nothing good ever comes from hate.  If you would like to know more about the Matthew Shepard Foundation or perhaps make a donation, go to https://www.matthewshepard.org/

come out come out

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated on October 11, 1988 and has been celebrated on this day every year since. Coming out is a personal experience for members of the LGBTQ+ community and everyone has their own story to tell. Today you may be hearing a number of them.

Most of the “Coming Out” stories we hear seem to focus on white gay men who have an awkward conversation with their family members. Occasionally it's a woman we hear about, but still white. I'd love to hear more stories from our trans and bi sisters and brothers and more from people of color.

Support is important. For some people it might not be safe to come out, and we should be supportive of that and also supportive of those who choose to make their reality known.

So, on this National Coming Out Day, I will be listening to the stories (do feel free to share yours in the comments) and hoping for unity and support among and for the LGBTQ+ community.

No Bullying Zone

Personally, I think the whole world should be a no bullying zone. Unfortunately, my wanting something does not make it happen. If all it took was my desire, we would have a perfect world with nothing but goodness.

To put an end to bullying, we ALL need to get involved. There is no neutral zone. There is no standing by and saying it isn't our concern. Justice and fairness is EVERYONE'S concern.  Bullying too often leads to a lifetime of self-hating or even suicide.  We need to say "No more!"  I'm talking about ALL bullying too.  None of it is ever acceptable.

Archbishop Desmond Tutu said it best: "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality."

Today is National Stop Bullying Day, part of the month-long campaign to prevent bullying.  Let's all get involved. Let's not see any more lives ruined because of bullying. 

an animal post

Animals are a lot smarter than you may think.  Your animals just might be able to look out for you.

Most of the time though it is YOU who need to be looking out for your animals.  I have written here in the past about animal cruelty and neglect, but I keep seeing horror stories that make me want to keep reminding people. 

There is something we all need to consider when taking an animal into our home.  Are we able to care for it?  Do we have the time, the energy, the space, the money, the desire that is necessary to be guardian for a cat or dog or other animal?  (A very large dog, for example, is not going to have enough space in a tiny apartment).  If the answer is no, then proceeding with bringing an animal into your home is inviting neglect, even if that is not our intention.

I remember the time I saw a dog tied up outside a cafe while his caretaker was inside enjoying a nosh.  Poor little thing was crying and looking oh so sad.  Seems like maybe the dog would have been better off being left at home where at least he would have been in familiar surroundings.

Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse here in the United States.  Many studies have found a link between cruelty to animals and other forms of interpersonal violence. 

Think before you bring an animal home.  If you decide you cannot keep an animal you already have, look for a home where the pet will be well cared for or call your local animal shelter.  Do NOT just abandon the animal.  If you see abuse or neglect, report it!  Get involved.  Care.

twenty-three years ago

At the National September 11 Memorial and Museum at Ground Zero in New York City, is this wall with a quote from ancient Roman poet Virgil:  "No day shall erase you from the memory of time."  Indeed. Today there will be memorials and there will be discussion, and folks will retell their memories of that horrible day when four coordinated terrorist attacks by al-Qaeda against the United States happened on the morning of Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

Today is the anniversary of one of our country's most horrible days.  Yes, there have been other sad moments, but this was a morning of pure evil.  This isn't my first time writing about it of course.  I have written here about that black day in our history, every single year since I began this blog. 

We know about the nearly 3,000 who lost their lives and the 6,000 others who were injured.  There were heroes too - not just the firefighters, police, doctors, paramedics, and other rescue workers, but also the average folks who just happened to be there and who jumped in to help.  It was a frightening day, a dark day for our country, but it was also a day Americans can be proud of because of all the unselfish acts of heroism.

The museum in New York remembers the day and tells the story of thousands of people there.  You can find more information about what to expect there at their website https://www.911memorial.org/

it's My Right

Way back when our country began, only white males who owned property were allowed to vote.  There are those who would like to see that policy return, but thankfully the right to vote is now enshrined in the US Constitution and several amendments.  ALL citizens who have reached the age of eighteen, have the right to vote.

 

Election Day is just a couple of months away and we are seeing more and more political advertising.  Who should we vote for?  Does it even matter?  Yes, it matters a lot, and the good citizens will look at the issues and then make choices.  Now is a good time to start thinking about it.  Don't wait until the last minute to make these important decisions.  

 

It's my right.  I can vote or I can stay home.  Why would you choose the latter?  We can decide who our senators and congresspeople will be.  We can decide who will be our governor.  Think about it.  We have the power.  Together we can do some incredible things.  So many parts of the world don't have such power.  Why would we want to throw it away?  This year's presidential race gets so much attention that we sometimes forget about the other matters, but they all are important.

 

I cannot stress this enough.  If you truly care about your community, your state, your nation, get out there and let your voice be heard.  VOTE!  There really is a LOT at stake.

Labor is Life

Thomas Carlyle was a Scottish philosopher, essayist, teacher, and historian during the Victorian era and the man who gave us the wonderful quote that appears on this stamp. Today is Labor Day in the United States and Canada. The holiday did not exist back in Carlyle's day, but a day set aside to honor the worker is something I think he would have approved of.

Too many people these days don't get the significance of this holiday. It isn't about that last summer picnic or the day before school begins and it isn't about sales at the mall and your favorite department stores. Today is about the worker and about the unions that have made our laborers strong. 

Labor is something that every single one of us does at some point. Labor really is life! We need to work to earn money and we need to work to keep our bodies active and strong. While those picnics and sales are fine, take a moment and pause to think about the real reason for this day and be thankful for our strong labor movement.

Quoting Carlyle: "Labour is Life: from the inmost heart of the Worker rises his god-given Force, the sacred celestial Life-essence breathed into him by Almighty God; from his inmost heart awakens him to all nobleness; to all knowledge, 'self-knowledge' and much else, so soon as Work fitly begins."

Suicide Prevention

Preventing suicide involves everyone in the community and it isn't just a one day or one month affair, but September is a monthlong awareness time in hopes of getting more people involved.  The number one obstacle to prevention is silence.  While this may sound like a slogan.  It is very true.

Here are a few things that everyone can do: Ask someone you are worried about if they’re thinking about suicide.  Keep them safe. Reduce access to lethal means for those at risk.  Be there with them. Listen to what they need.  Listening is so very important. Follow up to see how they’re doing.  This simple information comes from National Center for Injury Prevention and Control.

If you're in a crisis, please dial 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 to instantly connect with a trained crisis counselor, 24/7, for free.

There is more.  The biggest thing is to break those old taboos.  Communication is very important.  Many health care providers are now asking the question "Have you ever thought about harming yourself"?  Despite years of not talking about the subject, people need to know it is okay to talk.  Silence is not helpful.

I am not a mental health expert and don't want you to think I have all the answers, but this is so very important.  Become more aware.  Care.  If you need help for yourself or someone else, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.  Please feel free to share this information widely.

Learning to be a hero

Does being a hero require a special license or certificate? Are there classes you can take to learn to be a hero? Can only some people be heroes?

When you come across a horrible car accident on the freeway and rush to the aid of the victims, you become a hero.  It wasn't something planned or studied for but rather it was a basic human response.  The same is true when you see injustice and you stand up and fight against it.  While you may have had more time to think about it and to plan your response, you are still there, not because of a special license you hold or because it is your job.  You fight injustice because it is what good people do for each other.  It is a basic response of our humanity.

We hear a lot about heroes these days - usually folks who are just going about their chosen jobs.  Anyone can be a hero and they come in all different kinds.  Most of the heroes in the world are those quiet unsung type.  They are making a difference without much fanfare and often without any acknowledgement at all, but by doing basic good things that will benefit future generations.  You likely have some people that you consider to be heroes.  Perhaps your parents or a favorite teacher or a boss from work.  Maybe a famous person is a hero to you because of something they have done.  Superheroes like Spiderman or Wonder Woman?  Not likely. 

Eleven years ago, a hero of mine died, my mom.  Can you learn to be a hero?  I suppose the answer is partially 'yes' because so much of who I am, I learned from her.  She was a great teacher of how to be good and how to love others.  She was a nurse, but that is just a small part of what made her a hero.  Not a day goes by that I don't act in ways that she influenced.  If I am a hero to anyone, it is because of what I learned from Mom.

Here in this blog I have introduced you to many heroes.  One of them is Jason Chu.  I even shared his video, Marvels.  The lyrics are so powerful, I still think of them from time to time.  The closing words are so very true:  "But I’ve learned: a hero isn’t about being super We become heroes because of what makes us human."

Is it EVER about me?

The blog says It's NOT about me. So, you might be thinking, "Is it ever about me?" Well yes, and no. I suppose I should explain.

If you are new to reading these daily messages, you might not know just what the name means. Most blogs are about the writer's adventures through life - his vacations, his politics, his cooking skills, his day-to-day opinions about current events. This blog, as the name says, is NOT about me. It would be misleading to say though that it is only about you. Actually, it is about ALL of us! To be more specific, it's about how we each can help make this a better world.

So that question: "Is it ever about me?" - yes. It's never about only you. It's about you and me and everyone else - ALL of us. Together, we shape the future, and together, we can change the world.

Thanks for reading. Tell your friends we are here. Comment below too and share some of your ideas. Let's keep working to make the world better for everyone!

happy birthday to many

August just happens to be my birth month, but as you know, this is NOT about me, so I won't talk about my own birthday, but I do want to mention a few more.  This is indeed the month to say happy birthday to many!

Today is the birthday of former President Barack Obama, who turns 63.  Another US President, Bill Clinton, turns 78 on the 19th of this month. I have a couple of dear friends who share the same birthday as me and a number of celebrities share the same birthday too (including Mary McCartney, Shania Twain, Jason Priestley).  The list for the month is actually quite lengthy. 

 

People like to be remembered on their birthdays - not necessarily with expensive gifts.  A card, email, or phone call can certainly brighten someone's day as well.

summertime kindness

It's the middle of the summer. The days are hot. VERY hot in some places.  Many of us are frustrated by stories in the news, especially the shooting last night.  People are in a hurry to get to their vacation spots.  Along the way, some folks get a little short-tempered. In the midst of all of this, I have COVID-19 AGAIN!  What a great time though to practice some random acts of kindness!

Tell people in your life why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a store employee and then praise him or her through that company’s corporate office.  Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through.  Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.  As you go about your day, pick up trash.  Donate blood.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Call or visit a homebound person.  Pay a compliment at least once a day.

 

These are just a few ideas.  Use your imagination.  The list really can be endless!  Summer of course isn't endless, and in a month or so, as summer winds down, let's let our kindness continue winding up!

Long Walk to Freedom

It was on this date in 1918 that Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela was born. We knew him as a lawyer, politician, activist, great leader, philanthropist, and a person who did indeed change the world. His autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom, was published in 1984 and I can remember reading it around that time and thinking about how incredibly strong this man was to have done so much and to have endured so much. Mandela presided over the transition from apartheid minority rule to a multicultural democracy in South Africa and he showed the world how people from all backgrounds can work together.

If ever there was a poster person for what this blog is all about, it would be Nelson Mandela.  He was not only a great leader who made a huge difference in this world, but he did it with dignity and grace and a sense of humor. 

 

It was Mandela that said "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires." Many of us experience our own long walk to freedom.  How about you?

Seeing Mandela's life and remembering his words can inspire us and push us forward.  In his words: "For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
 

You'll never walk alone

We are getting closer and closer to this year's AIDS Walk San Francisco in Golden Gate Park. I have registered to participate for the 35th time and my fundraising is going along nicely. (Please click HERE if you would like to become one of my sponsors). Thanks so very much to everyone who has donated so far!

My personal finances won't allow me to actually be present this year, but I still want to raise awareness and raise funds.

One thing I will miss comes at the end of the opening ceremony each year.  There is a singing of a song that has become an anthem for AIDS Walk more or less, but as I think about the lyrics right now, I realize that it can easily be an anthem for each of our lives!

"You'll Never Walk Alone" is a show tune from the 1945 Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel, and it had a popularity back in the sixties when Gerry and the Pacemakers recorded it. We could all get something every day of our lives though out of these wonderful and encouraging words:

When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high

And don’t be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky

And the sweet, silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

Though your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Walk on, walk on

With hope in your heart

And you’ll never walk alone

You’ll never walk alone

Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness

It has been 248 since this document was written. How many Americans today know these words? If you were asked to recite the Declaration of Independence, could you? Most people are familiar with the first sentence of the second paragraph: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." What about the rest?

The first paragraph is something we had to memorize when I was in school: "When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation."

Today of course is Independence Day, the Fourth of July.  A document that refers to equality, and the act of standing up for ourselves back then, is something we should celebrate indeed. Where are we today though? We are missing a LOT of liberty here in this country.  There is so no true equality here.  How about life and the pursuit of happiness? With all the violence - the daily murders and assaults, it seems that so many are being denied their lives and basic happiness. With parades, fireworks and patriotic music over the weekend, along with picnics and boating, and baseball games, there is a lot of celebrating going on.  From where I sit though, we need to not only celebrate this wonderful country, but work to see that equality becomes the actually way we live, and that gun violence is something from the past. Think America is great? Think it can be greater?

I want to see the day when every person is treated with decency and with respect. We can make it happen. Let's stop the hate and heal the divisions.

Show the world you care

Showing that you care can make a world of difference.  "Being there" is how some might refer to it.

My mother used to remember the birthday of every single person she knew.  She would give presents to some and send cards to some, but to so many there would be a telephone call.  It wouldn't be a long one necessarily, but she would wish them a happy birthday.  She showed by her call, that she cared.

When you hear that someone is ill or hear of someone's death, a brief call (for someone you are very close to) and certainly a card, conveys the same message - "I'm here for you.  I care."

How about the race for political office or an important court ruling or the campaign to raise money for the church improvements or any number of causes?  Show you care.  Get involved.  Become a part of it.  There are certainly many ways to show you care.  You might have some of your own suggestions.  Showing the world you care is really a good thing!

hope

Hope is something that we ALL need. To me, that is part of what LGBTQ+ Pride Month is about.  In An Essay on Man, Alexander Pope wrote "Hope springs eternal in the human breast." Indeed.

In our LGBTQ+ community, there is often a lack of hope.  That was what Harvey Milk was talking about in his famous "hope" speech from 1978. Here is a portion of that speech:

"The first gay people we elect must be strong. They must not be content to sit in the back of the bus. They must not be content to accept pablum. They must be above wheeling and dealing. They must be -for the good of all of us - independent, unbought. The anger and the frustrations that some of us feel is because we are misunderstood, and friends can't feel the anger and frustration. They can sense it in us, but they can't feel it. Because a friend has never gone through what is known as coming out. I will never forget what it was like coming out and having nobody to look up toward. I remember the lack of hope - and our friends can't fulfill it.

"I can't forget the looks on faces of people who've lost hope. Be they gay, be they seniors, be they blacks looking for an almost-impossible job, be they Latins trying to explain their problems and aspirations in a tongue that's foreign to them. I personally will never forget that people are more important than buildings. I use the word 'I' because I'm proud. I stand here tonight in front of my gay sisters, brothers and friends because I'm proud of you. I think it's time that we have many legislators who are gay and proud of that fact and do not have to remain in the closet. I think that a gay person, up-front, will not walk away from a responsibility and be afraid of being tossed out of office. After Dade County, I walked among the angry and the frustrated night after night and I looked at their faces. And in San Francisco, three days before Gay Pride Day, a person was killed just because he was gay. And that night, I walked among the sad and the frustrated at City Hall in San Francisco and later that night as they lit candles on Castro Street and stood in silence, reaching out for some symbolic thing that would give them hope. These were strong people, whose faces I knew from the shop, the streets, meetings and people who I never saw before but I knew. They were strong, but even they needed hope.

"And the young gay people in the Altoona, Pennsylvanias and the Richmond, Minnesotas who are coming out and hear Anita Bryant on television and her story. The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone.

"So if there is a message I have to give, it is that I've found one overriding thing about my personal election, it's the fact that if a gay person can be elected, it's a green light. And you and you and you, you have to give people hope."

Let us remember and give thanks to all who are no longer with us but were part of this movement. Without them, it wouldn't have been the same. They left footprints that will always be remembered.  If some of the events during this LGBTQ+ Pride Month have given you hope, that's a good thing.  Many people have run out of hope.  Harvey Milk was right of course.  You have to give people hope.  It is my dream that someday that will be a reality, and I truly believe that we CAN make it happen.    John Lennon believed the same thing - “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.”  

Ellen

I would probably love Ellen Lee DeGeneres even if she wasn't an LGBTQ+ activist. I loved her sitcoms and her talk show and her movies, and I love her stand-up comedy performances. I also love her caring and her humanitarianism.

Lately I have been thinking about how much I miss Ellen.  I used to watch her daytime show regularly, either as it aired or a replay later in the day.  Her visibility as a gay woman was such a great thing for the LGBTQ+ community.  There was really something special though about all of those people she helped.

I'll never forget the time she featured two guys on her show who attended the prom together. They were best friends, but only one of the two was gay.

Ellen really has that whole "random acts of kindness" thing down pat. That's the part of her show I really enjoyed the most. She changed a lot of lives for the better and her closing line each day was such a great reminder - "Be kind to one another!"

Thanks, Ellen, for a lot of great entertainment and for being such a great role model.  Thanks for making a difference.  I hope we will be seeing more of you real soon.

Remembering Wilson

The name Wilson F. Fang might not be a familiar one to you, but it will always mean a lot to me. Reader's Digest magazine used to have a regular feature where folks wrote about the most unforgettable character in their lives.   I've said this before, and it continues to be true - that person for me is Wilson.  It's been almost nine years since he died, and I still think about him all the time.

I have fond memories of Wilson during LGBTQ+ Pride Months in the past and especially good memories on this date.  Today would have been his 51st birthday.  

Wilson was active in San Francisco's Castro LGBTQ+ community, Gay Asian Pacific Alliance, and held the title of Mr. GAPA 2005.  He was the kind of person you immediately felt comfortable with.  I've been participating in AIDS Walk San Francisco from the beginning and Wilson would sponsor me every year.  I only knew him for about twenty years, but such wonderful years!  I remember sitting one night talking with him for hours at a now defunct restaurant.  Wilson also loved to travel, and he generously shared pictures and stories of his adventures.  His warmth and kindness will always be remembered.

Happy birthday in heaven dear Wilson.  Thank you for the times we shared.  I'm sure you are showing your kindness now to the angels.

Oh my!

We knew him first as as Hikaru Sulu, helmsman of the USS Enterprise, but we have come to know him as so much more. George Takei is also a very outspoken activist who is paving the way for LGBTQ+ generations yet to come. When I watched him on the bridge during those Star Trek episodes, I had no idea George was a gay man, but know the whole world knows and is proud.

Most people might know him largely from his voice work and his acting, including a classic Twilight Zone episode, an old Perry Mason, and his legacy project, the more recent musical Allegiance.  I really like his activism though and all the things he is accomplishing now as an openly gay married man.  With husband Brad by his side, he really is going where no man has gone before.

Now about that whole "oh my!" thing. I love that he says it, but so do I and I've been saying it since I was in high school. No, I didn't copy George Takei. I'd never heard of him back when I first said it.

I remember the first time I met him. Kind, polite, and warm. I don't easily say that about many celebrities. It was at an LGBTQ event, and we didn't have time for much conversation, but I've seen a lot of him in public, including his famous facebook posts, and I can easily say he is making a positive difference.  He seemed like the perfect person to end the month with.

Happy Pride!

Rise

This 30-year-old Canadian is one of my heroes - someone who truly makes a difference, and has touched so many lives, just in a few short years. His name is Justin Preston and he's a sought-after public Speaker, an ambassador for Kids Help Phone, and the creator of Rise Against Bullying.

A few years ago, I read that that 85% of LGBT students had reported being verbally harassed and 40% reported being physically harassed. Even worse, nearly 20% reported being physically assaulted at school because of their sexual orientation. Justin was one of those who was harassed. Hearing him describe it, it sounds pretty awful, but somehow, he mustered the strength to rise up and do something - not only for himself, but for everyone.

I haven't actually met Justin, but I sure would like to. He gives back and makes a difference and is a hero to so many.  Isn't that what life is all about?  As I read about his many projects, I am filled with joy that so many people have been helped because of Justin's work. He inspires me every single day, especially with his Letters By Justin where he personally writes encouraging messages.

 

You can learn more about Kids Help Phone HERE, and more about Rise Against Bullying at http://www.riseagainstbullying.ca/ (there's a facebook page too, just click HERE).  I urge you to go there and find out more about Justin and his important work.  Click HERE to make a donation too.  Help make a difference!

The Smile of Ken

If you read this blog regularly, you may recall me writing about Kenneth Felts back in 2020 saying "he is proof that it is never too late." At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay! Since then, Ken met a man, Johnny Javier Hau, and fell in love. Last year they married, and the New York Times wrote up their story.

If you don't know the story, let me catch you up. After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man. Nobody knew his secret.  It seems his daughter is also gay, so in 2020 he came out to her, and then to the whole world.  All the details are in a book he has written My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90.  I found the book to be both interesting and very moving.

I have had the privilege of communicating with Ken and Johnny these past few years and while we have never met in person, everything I see is great joy and happiness.  Coming out can be a very good thing.  In nearly every picture I see of Ken, he is smiling.  How wonderful!  I look forward to someday meeting him in person.  I'd love to hear more of his stories.

Who else

Are there other openly LGBTQ+ celebrities that we haven't mentioned?  Indeed, there are!  I'm thinking of Clay Aiken, Ricky Martin, Elliot Page, Neil Patrick Harris, Robin Roberts, Dustin Lance Black, Chaz Bono, Ian McKellen, Holland Taylor, Ronen Rubinstein, Barry Manilow, Wesley Eure, and Adam Lambert to name just a few.  

There is also a long list of famous LGBTQ+ sisters and brothers who are no longer living.  So many of them weren't able to come out during their lifetime.  These days it seems to be much safer in many countries to live as your true self.  It wasn't that long ago, when you had to hide your true identity if you were part of the LGBT+ community.

When I hear Lily Tomlin talking about her wife or Lance Bass saying something about his husband, it warms my heart.  Visibility makes a difference.  

As Pride Month continues, I will write here about some other people who have publicly come out.  In addition to all of the performers, there are also the writers, athletes, politicians, activists, and others in the public eye who have come out over the years.  The list is too long to name everyone and that is a very good thing.  The more people come out, the easier it is for the next person.  Perhaps the day will come when we won't judge people by their sexual orientation or gender identity.  Perhaps.

It's Mikey Bustos Day

One of my favorite members of our LGBTQ+ community is Canadian Mikey Bustos. (His full name is actually Michael John Yadan Tumanguil Pestano Tilapia Bustos III, but I'll just call him Mikey).

For many years I have enjoyed the humor that Mikey shares in his videos and also his great musical abilities.  Click HERE to enjoy some of his music.  Earlier this year he performed with Debbie Gibson.

It was back in 2019 that Mikey came out as bisexual and also told us that he is romantically involved with his manager RJ Garcia. The two of them share a lot of their lives via social media, including a wonderful house and farm they built in the Philippines.  Last week Mikey's mom flew in from her home in Toronto and they headed off to a vacation in Vietnam.

I have written about Mikey for the past several years during Pride month, not only because he is openly bisexual, but also because today is his birthday.  Happy birthday Mikey and thanks for continuing to share so much joy!

Adam Bouska

During this Pride Month, I've been writing here about LGBTQ events and heroes.  Ever heard of Adam Bouska?  I have written about him here before, but his name might not be as well-known as some of the others I have written about.  I'm sure you have seen his work. Openly gay Adam is an American fashion photographer who was best known for his pictures of male models, until the NOH8 campaign.  That's him in the picture.

It was back in 2009 that Adam and partner Jeff Parshley, in response to the passage of Proposition 8, began NOH8. The photographs feature subjects with duct tape over their mouths, (symbolizing their voices being silenced by Prop 8 or other legislation), with "NOH8" painted on one cheek in protest, as in the photo here of Adam.  LGBTQ leaders and many celebrities were pictured at the start of Adam's NOH8 campaign and folks who believe in equality are still being photographed in this manner.

The photography of Adam Bouska has also been a part of fundraisers for HIV/AIDS, marriage equality, and pet adoptions.  Examples of his photos and more about Adam can be found on his website at http://www.adambouska.com/

Wonderful Tita Aida

Way back in the 90s, I had the great pleasure of first working with Nikki Calma, better known to most as Tita Aida. There are so many incredible things I could write about her: her activism, her wonderful smile, the energy that never seems to run out, her willingness to give back and make a difference. Oh my!

Back when I first met her, she was her working with the Asian AIDS Project in San Francisco, which later became the Asian & Pacific Islander Wellness Center and now known as San Francisco Community Health Center. (That organization quickly became one of my favorites, by the way).

She has taken on leadership roles at the API Pride Pavilion and Stage at San Francisco Pride and has also served on the Pride Board of Directors. She also lends her incredible talent as a performer to emcee portions of these events. The annual GAPA Runway is another place where you will find her behind the microphone.

Tita has been a leader for Trans March SF (which takes place each year during Pride Weekend) and for the Transgender Day of Remembrance. She has hosted numerous community events and fundraisers. Everything she does is with style and charm. Pretty much everyone in San Francisco is glad that Tita Aida came their way.

Seldom do I write here about people I actually know, but I should have written about this wonderful person long ago.  I not only know this person, but am proud to call her a friend!