come out come out

National Coming Out Day was first celebrated on October 11, 1988 and has been celebrated on this day every year since. Coming out is a personal experience for members of the LGBTQ+ community and everyone has their own story to tell. Today you may be hearing a number of them.

Most of the “Coming Out” stories we hear seem to focus on white gay men who have an awkward conversation with their family members. Occasionally it's a woman we hear about, but still white. I'd love to hear more stories from our trans and bi sisters and brothers and more from people of color.

The late Harvey Milk once said “How can people change their minds about us if they don’t know who we are?” Indeed. Visibility is important. Milk also said "If every gay person were to come out only to his or her own family, friends, neighbors and fellow workers, within days the entire state would discover that we are not the stereotypes generally assumed."

Support is important. For some people it might not be safe to come out, and we should be supportive of that and also supportive of those who choose to make their reality known.

So, on this National Coming Out Day, I will be listening to the stories (do feel free to share yours in the comments) and hoping for unity and support among and for the LGBTQ+ community.

The purpose of life

What is the purpose of life? Have you ever heard that question asked?  Why are we here?  How should we act?  Should we be ruthless and dishonest and claw our way past others to get the biggest piece of the pie?  What are we expected to do during our lifetime?

You probably already know my answer to the above questions.   I think we are all here to each make a difference for the better. We all should contribute to the common good, but that's just my opinion. 

It would seem that the great essayist, lecturer, and poet Ralph Waldo Emerson agreed. It was he who said “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

What do YOU think is the purpose of life?

The Twenty

I have told this story before about how special we all are, but I really like it and some of you might not have read my blog the day I told this before, so here it is again.  A well-known speaker started off his seminar holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this."

 

He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We may feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

As I mentioned above, I am retelling this wonderful story, and the first time I posted it, it was a retelling too. I have no idea who first told it - it's been circulating on the internet for some time.  The significant thing is the messages it brings.  We are all special.  We should all count our blessings, and NOT our problems!

have I got some questions for you!

How are we doing with this blog? When do you read it? Who do you think we should mention here? What kinds of things have we left out? Where might we find more hometown heroes? Why is this even important? When will more folks get involved? How can folks interact here?  Oh, and what about the past two days here?

I prefer writing encouraging things.  It's so nice to tell the positive stories of people making a difference.  Occasionally though I see some bad things that simply must be addressed.  Any thoughts about what I wrote here yesterday and the day before?

Okay, so there are a lot of questions I can ask about this blog. You may have questions of your own. Right under each day's entry is a space that says comments. Write something there. Ask a question or make a comment. I have a never-ending supply of questions, but I certainly don't have all the answers. Perhaps you can help.

There are tons of ways we can give back of course. I humbly offer some suggestions that come to mind or tell you about some folks who have done a stellar job of being a superstar, but I need your help. I would love to know about some of the really positive people you may have encountered. Who is a hero to you? Tell us the what, when, where, and why too!  

Those are my questions for you today.  Remember you can use that comment section to ask questions of me.  

Just because

"Why are you doing this?" I heard him ask. "Just because," was her simple reply. "Just because."

You can say you are giving back because you want to change the world or because you want to make a difference. You can say you want to see a smile on the face of others or that you enjoy doing things for people. You can say that random acts of kindness help make things better for all of us and you are simply passing them on. Of course, you don't have to give any reason at all! Just pay it forward .   .   . just because.

Oh, those wonderful kind deeds we do for other people. They sure do brighten up the day!

How many of those just because things can you think of? How about taking an acquaintance to dinner, sponsoring someone in a fundraising walk-a-thon, donating time at a senior center, saying something nice to everyone you meet during your day, or donating blood? What other random acts of kindness can you think of? Add your suggestions in the comments section below.

Remembering Matthew

The Matthew Shepard story has its beginning back on December 1, 1976, when he was born to Judy and Dennis Shepard in Casper, Wyoming. Matthew went to public schools in Casper until his junior year of high school when he moved with his family to Saudi Arabia. It was college that would bring him back to Wyoming and his studies at the University of Wyoming in Laramie. We didn't know Matthew through any of this.

Sadly, it was on the network newscasts that we first heard of a young man who had been tied to a split-rail fence, savagely beaten beyond recognition, and left to die out in the cold. It wasn't until the next day that he was found by a bicyclist who initially mistook him for a scarecrow.

As many times as I have heard this story, it is still hard for me to believe that anyone could have this much hate for another human being and do such horrific things as were done to Matthew. His rescuers took him to Poudre Valley Hospital in Fort Collins, CO where he died from blunt force trauma, his massive severe head injuries, six days later.  In the wee hours of October 12, 1998, Matthew passed away in that hospital, with his parents by his side and an entire world now knowing of this notorious anti-gay hate crime. 

In the past 26 years, more and more people have learned of that dreadful night when Matthew was attacked. Matthew has been depicted in films, television programs, musical works, novels, and plays, and his murder has inspired hate crime legislation, and the formation of organizations designed to fight hate. Judy and Dennis Shepard, started the Matthew Shepard Foundation to honor his life and to "amplify the story of Matthew Shepard to inspire individuals, organizations and communities to embrace the dignity and equality of all people." 

On this October 6th, as I look back at this young life taken, I can't help think of all the hate crimes over the years against LGBTQ+ people.  Hate needs to end.  Nothing good ever comes from hate.  If you would like to know more about the Matthew Shepard Foundation or perhaps make a donation, go to https://www.matthewshepard.org/

what is the color of happiness?

First of all tell me, are you happy?  Is there something special that makes you happy?  Don't take a lot of time.  There might be several things or perhaps you are just a happy person.  Now, close your eyes for a moment and think of that happiness.  Does a color emerge?  Red?  Pink?  Blue?  What is the color of happiness?

 

Now you may think that I have lost my mind, but there is a point I want to make.  Science might say that there is indeed a happy color.  I say happiness is EVERY color, because happiness is EVERYwhere!  Yeah, we all have bad days and it's certainly normal to feel down sometimes, but even when things are bad, there can be happiness.  Broke but have a family to cook for?  Well happiness can come from knowing how to prepare a wonderful meal for just pennies.  

Have you ever seen a homeless man with a big grin and wondered what he could possibly be happy about?  There are so many reasons to be happy.  So very many.

 

Am I blue?  That usually means depressed.  So blue is a bad color?  No way!  I say they are all good.  Look around you and see all the beauty.  Smile at the abundance of colors.  Be happy.

Inspired by Dame Patricia Routledge

Waking up to the sad news that Dame Patricia Routledge died in her sleep early this morning. We knew her as Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced "Bouquet") from the television sitcom Keeping Up Appearances, but she was so much more than that character. It was a month before her 95th birthday that Dame Patricia wrote some very inspiring words, that I'd like to share with you.

“I’ll be turning 95 this coming Monday. In my younger years, I was often filled with worry — worry that I wasn’t quite good enough, that no one would cast me again, that I wouldn’t live up to my mother’s hopes. But these days begin in peace, and end in gratitude.

"My life didn’t quite take shape until my forties. I had worked steadily — on provincial stages, in radio plays, in West End productions — but I often felt adrift, as though I was searching for a home within myself that I hadn’t quite found.

"At 50, I accepted a television role that many would later associate me with — Hyacinth Bucket, of Keeping Up Appearances. I thought it would be a small part in a little series. I never imagined that it would take me into people’s living rooms and hearts around the world. And truthfully, that role taught me to accept my own quirks. It healed something in me.

"At 60, I began learning Italian — not for work, but so I could sing opera in its native language. I also learned how to live alone without feeling lonely. I read poetry aloud each evening, not to perfect my diction, but to quiet my soul.

"At 70, I returned to the Shakespearean stage — something I once believed I had aged out of. But this time, I had nothing to prove. I stood on those boards with stillness, and audiences felt that. I was no longer performing. I was simply being.

"At 80, I took up watercolor painting. I painted flowers from my garden, old hats from my youth, and faces I remembered from the London Underground. Each painting was a quiet memory made visible.

"Now, at 95, I write letters by hand. I’m learning to bake rye bread. I still breathe deeply every morning. I still adore laughter — though I no longer try to make anyone laugh. I love the quiet more than ever.

"I’m writing this to tell you something simple:  Growing older is not the closing act. It can be the most exquisite chapter — if you let yourself bloom again.  Let these years ahead be your "treasure years" You don’t need to be famous. You don’t need to be flawless. You only need to show up — fully — for the life that is still yours.  With love and gentleness,"      — Patricia Routledge

are you ready for October?

Where I live, the weather gets a lot cooler this time of year, but there are plenty of chance to warm up in October. Think of the hot apple cider, the cocoa, and how about a nice bowl of jook? We have to wait all the way until the end of the month for Halloween, but the costumes and the parties will take some planning time!

Of course, there is a lot more to the tenth month of the year. This is Down syndrome Awareness Month, Hispanic Heritage Month and Breast Cancer Awareness month. It's also National Bullying Prevention Month, Breastfeeding Awareness Month, National Pharmacy Month, Polish American Heritage Month, Pastor Appreciation Month, and Vegetarian Awareness Month. That's only a very small part of it too. There are tons of opportunities to get involved in things during October and make a difference!

A bunch of food gets promoted this month. Today for example is National Homemade Cookies Day and tomorrow is National Fried Scallops Day. This Sunday is both National Taco Day and National Vodka Day. Now there's a combination! October 8th is National Fluffernutter Day! If you don't know what a fluffernutter is, look it up, and thank me later.

 

Have fun.  Do some great things.  Make a difference.  May this October be a great one for you!