More to Come

One of my memories from childhood is sneaking those moments from Johnny Carson's late-night program, when I was supposed to be in bed.  I always enjoyed Johnny both as a comedian and as an interviewer, but the odd thing that stands out in my mind is that whenever they broke for a commercial, it would say on the screen More to Come.  A lot of people look at New Year's Eve as an end time, but I prefer to think about more to come.

 

Yes, in a few hours 2023 will be gone.  The very moment it leaves though, 2024 is here.  It happens like this every year.  The world keeps on spinning and anything you were doing at 11:59, you can continue doing at 12:00 and 12:01.  Some people get all bummed out that things were neglected, and goals were not met.  I'll be the first to admit that things don't always go the way we plan, but sixteen hours before the year ends, is not a good time to lament our failings.  The next year will give us new opportunities and new chances to do wonderful things and take another crack at those goals or even come up with some new ones.

 

I could take this time today to look back on the bad things that occurred in 2023, but enough other people are doing that.  I could also look at the wonderful things (and may still revisit some of them in the days ahead). There is some good after all in every year.  I want instead to look at all of our days yet to come.  How many days we have will of course vary.  How we use them will vary too.  We can sit all alone and think about all of the negativity in the world, or we can add our own positive spark to it.  As I say all the time, WE can make a difference.  WE can do good things for others.  WE can be the heroes that our world needs.

 

What will we do in 2024?  The possibilities are enormous!  Let's change the world for the better.  Let us spread justice, equality, peace, and love.  We don't run out of time at midnight tonight.  There is still more to come!

Never worry about numbers

When you care about other people - when you want to change the world and make this a better place, we so often think in terms of numbers.  We want to make it better for everyone.  Suddenly though we feel overwhelmed and so we stop.  We wanted to do good but because we felt we wouldn't make "enough" of a difference, we ended up doing nothing at all.

I can relate to this.  I always think big and urge others to do so as well, but numbers really are not all that important.  What we need to do is to get involved and to stick with it!  Step by step - one by one, our grassroots efforts really do make a difference.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, now Saint Teresa,  proved this during her lifetime.  She spoke of it too.  "Never worry about numbers," she said.  "Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you."

crumpled paper

You may recall this story. I've told it here before, but I really like it. It is a story that has been told and retold over the years. It's about a teacher who was telling her class about bullying and gave them an exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up, but not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they are sorry.

 

Okay, that may seem rather odd - talking to a piece of paper, but think of the deeper meaning here.  Sometimes a child who is bullied will later receive apologies, but the damage has already been done. In this exercise, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child - they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.

Bullying isn't just done by kids of course and it isn't somehow worse in some cases than in others.  ALL bullying is bad.  ALL bullying hurts and damages another person.  ALL bullying needs to stop.  We have heard a lot in recent years about the bullying of gay kids, but let me be clear. While gay kids are so often the targets of bullies, ALL bullying is bad. We need to get rid of it ALL.  Even when it comes from famous people or from elected officials.

I have been writing here for just over fifteen years and often speak out about bullying.  Have my words made a difference?  The kids in that classroom certainly learned an important lesson. The looks on the faces of the children told their teacher that the message had indeed hit home. I hope this hits home with all of you too.  What can we all do to help end the bullying?   

favorite times of the year

When I was young, I always looked forward to this month. I loved the colder weather and the snow, and of course I loved Christmas. This is also the month when there is a break from school, and that is always nice. My mom's birthday came in December too, and then there were all the other holiday parties. Good times!

August though could also be a favorite time. We would be out of school then. There were so many fun summer activities. Oh yeah and my birthday! What about November? I liked that a lot too with Thanksgiving (I love the traditional dinner) and Veterans Day breaks from school or work. Fall leaves are always so pretty! Of course May can be fun, with summer right around the corner, and those wonderful Memorial Day picnics! Come to think of it, there is something to look forward to in every month.

You get the idea.   We don't have to reserve our fun to just one day or one week or one month.  Why not make the best of every single day?  Let's live life to the fullest.  I think I am going to have 365 favorite times this year!

Human rights

All lives matter.  No exceptions.  This isn't really an original thought.  I wrote here in March of 2012 that All Lives Matter.  Lately I have gotten a bit of grief saying I was moving away from the injustice that is directed toward black people, particularly black men.  Well certainly black lives matter - although from the actions of some police departments and some grand juries, one would certainly see why that would be questioned.

Whether or not me words from over eleven years ago connect with anybody, the point is, I wrote them and I did it a long time ago, so despite those who say I was changing the wording of a sign, that is not the case and I am still not trying to deny a huge problem that exists within our society.  I'm saying though the very same thing I said back then (click HERE to read my original post).  It is a message which I have always given, that ALL lives matter.  I have stood in the street many times and on the steps of government buildings and in protest marches and said quite clearly that ALL lives matter.

Now, quite often I was speaking out about a particular issue or for a particular group, but regardless of who is being discriminated against, we are all a little bit less because of it, because we should ALL be treated fairly and equally and with dignity and justice.  That's what today is all about.  Today is International Human Rights Day and we need to respect every single individual here in this country and in every single corner of the world.  In 1948 the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.  We still have a long way to go to recognize and make those words a reality.

Human rights are for everybody - no exceptions.  There is no superior race or religion or gender.  We all matter, or at least that's the way it should be and this is what we should be striving for.

Remembering that great deli

It has been ten years since Joe Sattler, owner of Moishe’s Pippic in San Francisco served me my last sandwich there. After twenty six years, he closed down and retired. Moishe’s Pippic was no more. What a guy! What a place! I wrote about it here at the time.

My mom enjoyed eating at Moishe’s Pippic and we went there whenever she came to town. She even had a nice roast beef sandwich from there on her last birthday, a year before they went out of business.

So why am I writing about them now?  Well, this was such a special place, it deserves to be remembered.  Joe Sattler always warmly welcomed me when I went it.  So did Abel Preciado, the only other person who worked there.  Often when I visit San Francisco, I have run into one or both of them.  Abel went to work at a nearby restaurant and so many were delighted to see him there.  Joe ended his retirement and went to work at a chocolate shop in the same neighborhood.  

Was it Joe or was it Abel that made Moishe's so special?  I think it guys beyond these two really nice guys.  It was the menu and the neighborhood and the customers and the mix of all wanting to give each other a nice day.  I will always carry find memories with me and hope that more and more places start offering this brand of kindness.

The Parable

This being Sunday, how about a parable? 

A man was taken on a tour of both heaven and hell. In hell he was shown a banquet hall filled with diners seated at a table that was covered with all kinds of delicious food. Each person’s back and left arm were tied to the chair so that bending at the waist was impossible, and the left arm could not move. The right arm was stiffened so that the elbow would not bend. The people at the table could gaze at the delicious spread and they could smell the aroma of the food, but they were starving.

In heaven, the picture was the same – backs and left arms shackled, right arms stiffened – but the diners were feasting and rejoicing, because each diner used his stiffened right arm to feed the person to his or her right. It was a picture of people working together, in other words – it was cooperation. How wonderful!

Of course, we don’t have to wait to get to heaven to have this kind of teamwork. It really is quite easy to do things for each other, right here on earth! Oh and before you ask what part of the Bible this parable comes from - it doesn’t. This isn’t a parable of Jesus, but one that we mortals came up with and which has been told and re-told. The point is a very good one though: cooperation - helping others - making a difference. It's a story that illustrates the very thing we talk about here every day.

If you like your parables to come from Scripture and have to have some backup from the Bible, let’s look at the words of Blessed Paul the Apostle, who in his letter to the Philippians wrote “Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.” I could not have said it any better!

Just plain folks

Growing up, must of the people I came in contact with were just plain folks. I have always found ordinary, down-to-earth, unpretentious people to be so much more attractive than the folks who expect you to be impressed by their name or their bank account or their social standing.  We are all "people" and we were all created equal. 

 

The blog is not to impress you and in fact I seldom mention my name here and I do often point out that this is NOT about me.  It's no big deal that I write a daily blog - for a while it seemed like everyone did.  (Actually I write two daily blogs, but who's counting)?

 

You can be as plain as apple pie.  (I happen to like apple pie).  The things you do will impress me more than the money you have in your pocket.  You may not do things so that others will be impressed.  That impresses me even more!  If everyone treated everyone equally and we were all simple and down to earth, how wonderful this world would be!

Let Communities Lead

Long before anyone heard the term AIDS, people were already dying. It was "4 H disease," because the first cases were found among homosexuals, hemophiliacs, Haitians, and heroin users. Later the name was changed to GRID, for Gay related immune deficiency.

The epidemic began officially on June 5, 1981, when the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported unusual clusters of Pneumocystis pneumonia caused by a form of Pneumocystis carinii in five gay men in Los Angeles.  It didn't have an official name until the summer of 1982, when the CDC began referring to the disease as Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome or AIDS.

 

Over the years, research has been important, but so too has been patient service, education, and erasing the stigma. Annual events like AIDS Walk and AIDS LifeCycle have given support, and so are the many events that take place each year on December 1st, World AIDS Day. In 2023 Let Communities Lead is the theme emphasizing the role of communities in breaking the stigma and raising awareness about HIV and AIDS to the world.

So many people I have known have died because of HIV/AIDS, but things have gotten better and people are living longer.  AIDS is still with us though and so the fight must continue!  Awareness is such an important part of that fight, so this World AIDS Day, do something and help spread the word.  

Forty-five years later

San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk, who were shot and killed in San Francisco City Hall by former Supervisor Dan White on this date forty-five years ago. White was angry that the Mayor had refused to re-appoint him to his seat on the Board of Supervisors, from which White had just resigned, and that Milk had lobbied heavily against his re-appointment. 

San Francisco, where I lived at the time, was already reeling from the mass suicides and murders in Johnstown just days before.

 

Moscone's name is not as well known today as Milk's, even though both have buildings named for them.  Harvey Milk has become much better known in death, than he was in life.  Like with John F Kennedy, whom I wrote about last Wednesday, there have been a lot of "what if he had lived?" questions asked.  Certainly nobody knows for sure, but there have been a lot of changes since.  Some might argue that there has not been a mayor as progressive as George Moscone.  There have been other gay elected officials though, and not just representing San Francisco's heavily gay Castro district.

 

It is certain that both Moscone and Milk made a difference in this world.  They started some things that have continued following their deaths.  One huge tribute to them is that there have been regularly remembrances of that dark day when they were murdered.  On the night of the assassinations, it was an impromptu candlelight march started in the Castro and leading to the City Hall steps that was terribly moving. Tens of thousands of people took part that night with Joan Baez leading "Amazing Grace" along the way.

 

Forty-five years later we remember these two men, and I hope we always will.  I also hope that the day will come when being progressive or being gay is no big deal.

It's not just about the wallet

Donations make a difference - I've said so for years, but there is more than just money.  Some folks want to contribute but simply can't afford to give money.  Of course, there are clothing drives and toy drives and food bank collections.  These are all ways to give without necessarily dipping into your wallet.  There is also the giving of your time and your talent - a very valuable gift.

 

But wait!  There is more than just the tangible.  The sense of belonging to a cause of joining it and becoming a part of it, is very important.  I personally do fundraising walk-a-thons regularly and one of the big things for me is the getting together with other committed folks.  Sharing information and visibility are important for most any cause.

When you get those emails or phone calls asking you to give, it doesn't have to be about your wallet.  If it is something you are passionate about, there are other ways to make a difference.  These days there are a lot of folks rallying around political causes too.  Whatever rings a bell for you, don't despair that you are unable to give money.  Instead, think of other ways you can do good and get involved.  There is always a way to give back!

Lots of folks will be asking for money on these last weeks of the year.  Something for us all to think about.

There's always reason to be thankful

The inaccuracy of the first Thanksgiving story we generally hear, is causing more and more people to re-think any kind of celebration this day. Just what are we to be grateful for? Genocide? Certainly not! I do understand how uncomfortable it is to tell that untrue tale and to romanticize those Pilgrim-Indian feasts though, so  let's stop doing that!

Wait a second though. I'm not saying there is nothing to be thankful for. I'm not saying a harvest festival is a bad thing or that being grateful for the good things in our lives is wrong. We just need to make some changes. First, let's stop telling the untrue story and admit our past horrible deeds. Next, let us move forward, vowing to never do anything like that. Let's also look at the good things we have done and the good that have happened in our lives. Our ancestors committed horrors, but they certainly did some positive things as well. We might personally have never done anything that can be described as horrible, but we can still apologize on their behalf. Then, we need to move on.

The good in our lives can and should be acknowledged. There's always reason to be thankful. Did you have food to eat last night? Did you have a warm bed? Do people love and care about you? Look! There is reason for gratitude right there. Gathering family and friends together and having a good time over a meal, is not a bad thing to do.

Thanksgiving Day has baggage to be sure - in fact, with the atrocities committed, baggage is an understatement. I'm not suggesting we should ignore it either. Perhaps we need to re-invent the day. My suggestion though is that we continue to give thanks; that we continue to gather together. Let us do so honestly though, making reparations for our past, and looking ahead with thankful hearts for all the good that we can be.

That Day In Dallas

Those of you who are older than me, probably remember in great detail that day in Dallas. Dr Martin Luther King had given his “I Have A Dream” speech three months earlier.  Zip codes (“Zone Improvement Plan”) and touch-tone phones were pretty new.  Everyone was listening to The Beatles (or making fun of them).  We were still six months away from the first moon landing.  None of that really stands out for me in relation to November 22, 1963, but I remember the news from that day and from the days that followed.

My grandparents lived just two blocks from my elementary school, so it was there that I went when school closed early that day and they sent us home.  It was there where I spent much of the next few days too.  (My parents were working).  I remember watching the state funeral on television.  I remember all the talk about this John F Kennedy, that I didn't really know about - I was a kid.  They kept showing the events over and over though and so it is burned into my memory.  That day in Dallas is something I will never forget.

Over the years there have been other such events. Some of them have been good (like the first walk on the moon) and many have been bad (like so many other assassinations). It would be nice to think that only good things would come and that we would learn from the bad and that going forward, we wouldn't make the same mistakes. Sadly, that hasn't been the case.

Can we learn?  Can we find a way to love?  Can we stop the hate and the destruction?  What do YOU think?

Looking out for elders too

When we think of bullying, the kids in the hall at school usually come to mind, right?  It isn't just limited to youth. Anyone can be the victim of bullying, and a growing number of senior citizens have been targets. 

For those living in senior communities, it can especially be a problem and includes such things as fraud and elder abuse. The bullying I am talking about isn't always senior to senior. Sometimes the children of elders are bullies and sometimes the bully can be a caregiver.  It even happens in assisted living centers.

 

Nobody should have to endure bullying.  You wouldn't want anything bad to happen to your grandmother, would you?  We shouldn't want to see anything bad happen to anyone!  We need to speak up.  We need to look out for senior citizens, because bullying can be devastating at any age.  In the case of our elders it can often be worse because they may be frail and have other health issues.  Don't be a bully and don't allow bullying to happen.

The Tragedy of Jonestown

It is with great sadness for the 918 souls lost at The Peoples Temple Agricultural Project, better known by its informal name "Jonestown," that I always think back on this date. It's been 45 years, but most of those who died by forced suicide that day were originally from the San Francisco area, where I lived. The news was hard to take wherever you lived, but particularly difficult in the Bay Area.

Nearly half of Jonestown residents were black women and 304 residents were minors.  What kind of lives might they have lived?  What kinds of things would they be doing now in 2023?

I always think of former Representative Jackie Speier at this time of year too.  She spent a lifetime of public service and was with Representative Leo Ryan when they went to investigate Jonestown.  Speir survived five gunshot wounds while Ryan was assassinated.  He had been shot more than twenty times.  I think also of NBC News correspondent Don Harris and NBC News cameraman Bob Brown who were shot at the same time as Ryan.

How many of you remember that day?  How many of you were born since then?  How might those 900+ people have interacted with you over these past years.  How much, if anything, have we learned since then about cults and about blind faith in those who might do us harm.  Could another tragedy like this happen again?  What do YOU think?

Have a spooktacular day!

Witches and goblins and all kinds of spooky - all fine symbols of the day but remember to not be offensive. Halloween should be an enjoyable time for everyone, not a time for self-hate or anger because of prejudice

Over the years, Halloween celebrations have changed a lot. It seems more adults get involved these days. The trunk or treat celebrations, where cars are parked together with open trunks decorated for Halloween and candy available for kids, have become rather popular and that is a very nice thing. Oh and you can still trick-or-treat for UNICEF!

Remember to be safe too. When the sun goes down tonight, be particularly carefully around traffic. Eating candy or other treats? Make sure your source is a trusted one. Sadly, there are still folks who try to trick with our sweets.  Now I know many of you already celebrated Halloween over the weekend, but since today is the actual day, don't be afraid to do something special.

Have a safe and happy celebration.

have I got some questions for you!

How are we doing with this blog? When do you read it? Who do you think we should mention here? What kinds of things have we left out? Where might we find more hometown heroes? Why is this even important? When will more folks get involved? How can folks interact here?  Oh and what about the past two days here?

I prefer writing encouraging things.  It's so nice to tell the positive stories of people making a difference.  Occasionally though I see some bad things that simply must be addressed.  Any thoughts about what I wrote here yesterday and the day before?

Okay, so there are a lot of questions I can ask about this blog. You may have questions of your own. Right under each day's entry is a space that says comments. Write something there. Ask a question or make a comment. I have a never-ending supply of questions, but I certainly don't have all the answers. Perhaps you can help.

There are tons of ways we can give back of course. I humbly offer some suggestions that come to mind or tell you about some folks who have done a stellar job of being a superstar, but I need your help. I would love to know about some of the really positive people you may have encountered. Who is a hero to you? Tell us the what, when, where, and why too!  

Those are my questions for you today.  Remember you can use that comment section to ask questions of me.  

Pink Ribbons

You may have seen an increase in pink ribbons during the past week or so. Perhaps as a regular reader of this blog, you remember the Octobers in the past in which I have written here about breast cancer. Perhaps you have noticed that tv news programs have been devoting time to it. If the pink ribbons are setting off an alarm in your brain, that's a good thing. This is breast cancer awareness month and the whole idea is to make people more aware.

 

Women should certainly be more aware.  Early detection can and does save lived.  Also, did you know that breast cancer can occur in men. Over 2,000 men are diagnosed each year. 

According to the Centers for Disease Control, about one in eight women born today in the United States will get breast cancer at some point.  This isn't something we should be afraid of though.  If breast or ovarian cancer runs in your family, talk with your doctor.  Get the facts.  Stay informed.  Get regular checkups.

 

What can we do to wipe out breast cancer?  Well the good news is that this is very treatable and, as I have said, early detection is so very important.  Still, research and treatments are ongoing and organizations like the American Cancer Society can always use volunteers and donations.  They are also an excellent source of information.  Wear a pink ribbon this month and stay aware!

The Soundtrack Of Our Lives

So many bad things happening all around the world and yet last night I was singing and dancing and feeling pretty darn good. No, I haven't lost my mind, but I also don't want to wallow in the negativity. One of my secret weapons is music.

The soundtrack of our lives is what someone once called music. (I think it was Dick Clark).  For me music is a surefire cure for the blues and also a great way to keep the heart pumping.  Oh and I'm especially lucky because I really like all kinds of music.  Last night I started with hip-hop and then moved on to classic top 40 from the 60s and 70s and slowed it down at bedtime with some smooth jazz.  A great way to make dinner and get the other housework done.

Now I know this blog isn't about me, but I thought I would share this music idea.  It's pretty much how I roll all the time.  Try it.  It doesn't change things.  The bad is still there, and I'm not suggesting that we had from our troubles, but if we tackle things with a positive attitude, we have a much better chance of succeeding.  It's especially easy these days too with so many streaming services, many of which are free.  

This morning I woke up with country music on the radio.  It wasn't my choice, but I found myself enjoying it!  Happy Wednesday everyone!

Twenty-two years later

People are waking up this morning to memorials all around the country, to those who lost their lives twenty-two years ago when terrorist attacks claimed so many lives in New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania.  We are reminded to never forget, but how could anyone not remember the horror of that day?

 

Every year I have written here about the 9/11 attacks. Each year I have woken up to news coverage of the anniversary. In New York City at the site where the World Trade Center stood, the names of the victims who died there are read out against a background of somber music. Vice President Kamala Harris is there. Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Marorkas is there as well. The President of the United States attends a memorial service at an Alaskan military base. There is a remembrance too in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Second gentleman Doug Emhoff is in attendance. A memorial too at the Pentagon and in cities across the country.

 

I woke up to tv coverage of memorials.  If you missed any of it, it will be available online throughout the day and on tv tonight and in tomorrow's newspapers.  Never forget.

Some thoughts on the fourth

The Declaration of Independence, which we celebrate today, says that we ALL are created equal, and that we are endowed with certain rights. Unalienable Rights it calls them. It lists three: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  Now it doesn't say we have a right to be happy, but only to pursue that happiness.
 

On this July 4th do you feel your country is allowing you to pursue happiness?  Do you feel that everyone in the country is treated equally?  Sadly I don't.
 

Most Americans are familiar with a sentence or two from this document, but take a moment to read the whole thing.  Is today's America the same one they spoke of back in 1776. 
 

There might be a picnic or fireworks on your agenda today, maybe even a parade, but add one more thing:  think of some way you can make a difference in the life of this country.  What can we all do to make the equality spoken of a reality?  What can we do to see that everyone is able to pursue happiness?  How can we end the discrimination that so many Americans face on a daily basis? 

There are many things we might put on such a list, but may I suggest the first one?  VOTE!  We need to all make sure our voices are heard!

When

I remember when I was still in high school hearing someone say "When will a day go by without some talk about racial discrimination?"  Recently, during Pride Month, I heard someone comment on the abundance of gay news stories saying "When will we stop hearing about gay rights?"  When indeed.

When I first came to San Francisco, a city with a large Asian population, I quickly found that there was prejudice against Asians.  There is even prejudice amongst Asians.  Yes, I actually heard "People from (my country) are better than people from (their country)."  Where I live now, there seems to be more and more.  I heard some anti-Asian remarks on my way home last night, which is what prompted me to write this.

When will it end.  Why do some people feel superior over others?  Why can't we all get along?  While it is true that discrimination has changed - some things are more protected by law, not everything has and often cruel incidents occur which nobody will then want to talk about.  There lately seems to have been a bit of progress (or at least people are talking).

We can put an end to discrimination.  We can end prejudice.  But, when?

HISTORY WAS MADE!

Where were you on the morning of June 26, 2015?  Can you remember?  History was made eight years ago on this date.  Perhaps it changed your life.  Let me give you some help - an historic decision was made by the US Supreme Court, effecting the entire nation. They affirmed equality. They said that gay people can marry too. Some states had already done it, but now with the High Court's ruling, same-sex couples could marry nationwide.  Now eight years later in 2023 it might not seem like as big a deal, but it was!  It really was.

In writing the majority opinion, Justice Anthony McLeod Kennedy said these words, which have since ended up on posters:

No union is more profound than marriage, for it embodies the highest ideals of love, fidelity, devotion, sacrifice, and family. In the forming of a marital union, two people become something greater than once they were. As some of the petitioners in these cases demonstrate, marriage embodies a love that may endure even past death. It would misunderstand these men and women to say they disrespect the idea of marriage. Their plea is that they do respect it, respect it so deeply that they seek to find its fulfillment for themselves. Their hope is not to be condemned to live in loneliness, excluded from one of civilization's oldest institutions. They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right. The judgement of the Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit is reversed. It is so ordered.

I know I just wrote about marriage equality last week, but this day in 2015 was so very important, I simply HAD to say something. There was a lot of celebrating back then.  It was a happy day.  Since then there has been progress in other countries.  I won't pretend that the whole world has changed.  I won't pretend that there is not still a lot of work to do.  I also won't pretend that everyone is happy about the advancements and is celebrating.  We do have reason for joy though.  We do have reason to hope for brighter tomorrows.  On this date eight years ago, things got a little better.  History was made!

Birthday wishes to Mikey Bustos

Visibility is important and the B in LGBTQ+ is often left out, that's why it was a very positive thing when he came out as bisexual in 2019. Somehow it has become a tradition now for me to write about him here on his birthday, which falls during Pride Month.

I follow Mikey on social media and watch his videos (some of them, like 'I Love to Eat Balut' I have watched over and over). Something really stand out too - Mikey is a happy person who freely shares that happiness.

Moving from his native Canada to the Philippines a few years ago, we have seen Mikey and boyfriend RJ Garcia build their dream house and continue to grow in their relationship.

Thanks for the smile Mikey and for all of the entertainment and encouragement. Happy birthday to you, and Happy Pride!

TransMarch

Twenty years! Oh my! This year marks a milestone for sure, as the San Francisco area comes together for the 20th time to honor the resilience, strength, and beauty of transgender and gender non-conforming individuals.  I remember being there the very first year and going back year after year.  I also remember all of those wonderful souls who are no longer with us.

Tomorrow's event begins in the morning with the Señora Felicia Flames Intergenerational Brunch, honoring another giant of the community. Later comes the stage performances and the resource fair. The march itself comes in the evening and ends with a rally demanding equality and respect.

Toronto has a Trans March too as do several other cities, but I can write about the San Francisco event from experience. It is always a wonderful day increasing visibility, activism and acceptance of all.  I have always been made to feel very welcome and wish I could be present tomorrow.

More information is available at https://www.transmarch.org/

marriage equality

When I began writing this blog back in 2008, same-sex marriage was only a dream in most of the United States. The Netherlands had been the first back in 2001, and it had become legal in Belgium, Canada, Spain, and South Africa in the years that followed. It was also legal in two US states (Massachusetts and Connecticut) but would be a long time coming for the rest of the country.

There are now these thirty four places around the world, where same-sex marriage is legal: Andorra, Argentina, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Denmark, Ecuador, Finland, France, Germany, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Malta, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Slovenia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, United Kingdom, United States, and Uruguay. Let me point out that these thirty four countries are actually only a small portion of the world.

A vote is due early next week, and activists are hoping Estonia’s parliament will back a government bill that would allow gay and lesbian couples to marry there. Estonia would become first ex-Soviet state to back same sex marriage.

Attitudes are changing and progress is being made. Younger generations express higher levels of support for same-sex marriage.  Let's keep hoping and working for more progress.

Lance makes a difference every day

Who hasn't heard of Lance Bass?  He's a pop singer, a dancer, actor, producer, radio and tv personality, author, and activist. He might not have started out to be all those things, but over time, they have developed.  He is also making a huge difference for the LGBTQ+ community. 

By being openly gay, Lance is another person showing the world that gay people want the same things as everyone else:  respect, equality, and freedom from hate.  Every time he says "my husband and I," he is making a difference.  The wedding of Lance and his spouse Michael Turchin (pictured here), back in 2014 was recorded and shown on cable tv.  Sometimes just being yourself is all it takes.

 

So much talent in this guy!  Seriously.  I love his talk show appearances.  He always speaks his mind.  That is important. Now I have spoken many times about the importance of being open and honest, and it is my hope that one day closets will again be only for clothing, but let me be very clear.  I do not wish to see anyone in danger.  There are still times when some need to remain in the closet for their own safety, and that should be respected.

I've met Lance and seen him at a couple of different lgbtq events, but he is also making a difference in other areas as well.  He's done telethons for various causes, been an active supporter for animal rights, and is also involved with the Environmental Media Association.  Thank you Lance, thank you Michael, and happy Pride Month!

Remembering

Seven years ago in Orlando, Florida, a 29-year-old man, killed 49 people and wounded 53 more in a mass shooting at Pulse, a gay nightclub which as hosting a Latin Night.  It was not the first incident of violence against the LGBTQ+ community and sadly, not the last, but it was the deadliest.

The history of assaults on transgender people, lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals, is extensive.  We all know about the Stonewall Inn, the arson at the Upstairs Lounge in New Orleans, and the murder of Harvey Milk, but the list of other incidents goes on and on.

The names include Terry Knudsen, Robert Allen Taylor, Steven Charles, Anthony Milano, Rebecca Wight, Gordon Church, Venus Xtravaganza, Matthew Shepard, James Zappalorti, Julio Rivera, Allen Schindler, Brandon Teena, Nicholas West, Scott Amedure, Chanelle Pickett, Roxanne Ellis, Michelle Abdill, Fred Mangione, and so many others.  Some of the names are unknown.  Some of the incidents are unknown because there were not classified at the time as hate crimes.

A mass shooting at a gay bar in Colorado Springs last November left five people dead and twentyfive more injured.  The violence has not stopped, and the increase of anti-LGBTQ legislation has only made things worse.

I wish the violence would end.  I wish the hate would end.  We must fight for an end to all anti-LGBTQ+ violence.  I wish that Pride Month could be thirty days of celebrating, but we must remember our history and we must continue working for all the justice and rights that we (and all people) deserve.  On this day, please take a moment to remember that attack at Pulse and the loss of lives there, and

                                                     One more time please, say their names -

Stanley Almodovar III, 23

Amanda Alvear, 25

Oscar A. Aracena-Montero, 26

Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33

Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21

Martin Benitez Torres, 33

Antonio D. Brown, 30

Darryl R. Burt II, 29

Jonathan A. Camuy Vega, 24

Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28

Simon A. Carrillo Fernandez, 31

Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25

Luis D. Conde, 39

Cory J. Connell, 21

Tevin E. Crosby, 25

Franky J. Dejesus Velazquez, 50

Deonka D. Drayton, 32

Mercedez M. Flores, 26

Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22

Juan R. Guerrero, 22

Paul T. Henry, 41

Frank Hernandez, 27

Miguel A. Honorato, 30

Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40

Jason B. Josaphat, 19

Eddie J. Justice, 30

Anthony L. Laureano Disla, 25

Christopher A. Leinonen, 32

Brenda L. Marquez McCool, 49

Jean C. Mendez Perez, 35

Akyra Monet Murray, 18

Kimberly Morris, 37

Jean C. Nieves Rodriguez, 27

Luis O. Ocasio-Capo, 20

Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25

Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36

Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32

Enrique L. Rios Jr., 25

Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37

Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24

Christopher J. Sanfeliz, 24

Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35

Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25

Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34

Shane E. Tomlinson, 33

Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25

Luis S. Vielma, 22

Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37

Jerald A. Wright, 31

 May they, and every single victim of LGBTQ violence and hate, rest in peace.

At the Movies

Everybody loves a good movie, right?  The number of films with an LGBTQ theme is not as large as you might think. Bisexuals are almost invisible and so often, if there is a gay man he is a stereotype. Things do seem to be improving though.  

Last year I made a list, and nothing has happened since then to make me change it, so here are my top twenty LGBTQ+ themed films:  20-Carol (2015), 19-Boys Don’t Cry (1999), 18-The Crying Game (1992), 17-The Queen (1968), 16-The Times of Harvey Milk (1984), 15-Transamerica (2006), 14-Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997), 13-Longtime Companion (1990), 12-The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (1994), 11-Milk (2008), 10-The Boys in the Band (1970), 9-The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), 8-Love, Simon (2018), 7-Aimée und Jaguar (1999), 6-My Own Private Idaho (1991), 5-The Birdcage (1996), 4-Call Me by Your Name (2018), 3-Brokeback Mountain (2005), 2-The Wedding Banquet (1993), and 1-Torch Song Trilogy (1988).

Some of these I have watched over and over.  The Birdcage is fun and I always enjoy it, but not in the same way as The Wedding Banquet and Torch Song Trilogy, where I always cry.  Sometimes when I'm at the movies and I suddenly discover a gay character, I get choked up, even if that isn't the central theme.  I'm sure these are some more recent offerings, but I don't seem to get out as much.

I was told I should include The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2000), but having never seen it, I have kept it off my list.  What else might I be missing though?  Do you have some favorite LGBTQ+ themed films?

Mister Secretary

Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg (yup, that's his full name) was the 32nd mayor of South Bend, Indiana, serving for two terms, ran for the nation's highest office, and currently serves as the United States Secretary of Transportation. Oh yeah, and he is gay. That's a big deal.

Representation matters. Visibility matter. That seems to be a theme this month, but it's true. Buttigieg was the first person from the LGBTQ community to be mayor of South Bend, and was in fact Indiana's first openly gay elected executive. He was the first gay man to launch a major presidential campaign. He even won the Iowa caucuses! As Transportation Secretary, he became the first openly LGBTQ Cabinet member in American history.  I have heard people say that Buttigieg gives them hope.  Indeed.

His husband Chasten Buttigieg who used to perform improv comedy, has written a book,   I Have Something to Tell You, which details his life and tells of his experiences with husband Pete on the 2020 campaign trail.  Pete is a published author as well having written Shortest Way Home : One Mayor's Challenge and a Model for America's Future and Trust: America's Best Chance.

During this Pride Month, it's exciting to see such a visible member of the LGBTQ community.  I've written here about him before and am sure I will have more to say.  Thank you Mister Secretary for making a difference.

Inspiration from Ken

When I first wrote here about Kenneth Felts, I said "he is proof that it is never too late."  At the age of 90 he had just come out as gay!

After serving in the US Navy during the Korean War, and through his college and working years (at Colorado State Rehabilitation), Ken lived as any heterosexual man.  Nobody knew his secret.  All that changed though in 2020.  He told his daughter, who is also gay, and then he told the world.

Since then, Ken met a man and fell in love. How wonderful! They have been together now for three years.

Ken has also written a book, My Handful of Stars: Coming Out at Age 90, which tells the story of his life and of his coming out. Now he is writing a second story about growing up in the 1930s as a gay person in the mid-west.

Coming out certainly agrees with him. Look at the smile on his face. Ken says he hopes his story will give others the courage to embrace their sexual orientation as well.  I'm personally grateful to have him in my life.  What an inspiration!

so many to write about

For a number of years now I have spent the entire month of June writing about LGBTQ+ issues and heroes.  There are so many to write about and only thirty days in the month.  Even though I might not write in depth about some, that doesn't mean they are forgotten.

I'll always be grateful for the time I shared with Felicia, Dan, Malcolm, Ken, the several Jasons, Richard Jonathan, Phyllis and Del, and Susan.  There are dozens of additional names - no, actually hundreds of additional names that I could add.  It always warms my heart when people step up and do something powerful that makes a difference.  I'm sure your list of heroes might include so many other names.

It there an LGBTQ+ champion that stands a bit taller than the others?  I don't really like to make it into a contest.  I keep hoping for the day when we can truly celebrate equality for everyone and that being gay or being bi or being trans is just being, and it's no big deal.  Let's make it so!

Pride is not about me

Typing words here every morning is a great exercise.  I've been able to mention a lot of wonderful acts which we all can do, offer suggestions (including ones which came from you), and spotlight people I consider heroes.  During LGBTQ+ Pride Month, I am looking only in that direction and I can recall the many leaders I have come in contact with other the years, some of whom I have already mentioned here in years past.  I have been involved in marches and protests and all manner of celebration, including volunteering for San Francisco Pride for many years and serving on their board of directors.  This blog is NOT about me of course, but I just wanted to give you some background on how I have had the privilege of meeting so many wonderful people.

Some of the LGBT leaders are folks I simply bumped into.  I remember marching for Marriage Equality, surrounded by a lot of folks I knew, but also meeting new people along the way.  This is a great way to network.  I always think that grass roots campaigns are so important because you can get everyone involved.

Sometimes people have reached out to me.  I can't tell you number of heart-warming stories I heard at Pride events.  Once a guy still in high school, had taken the bus to San Francisco on a June Sunday for the annual Pride Parade.  He came up to me and struck up a conversation, telling me that at home in Turlock, he felt all alone.  It wasn't a problem of bullying or harassment (fortunately), but simply one of loneliness.  He told me it was such a wonderful experience being in the presence of thousands of other LGBTQ+ people.  He thanked me, but it was I who should have thanked him.  That's the reason for doing these Pride events - so nobody has to feel alone.

I have no idea how many people who read this blog are from the LGBTQ+ community, but a few years ago a reader posted the most encouraging comment I think I have ever received.  It said "Our only daughter is 22 yrs old, and happens to be straight. When she was little, she said she wanted a gay big brother. Not just a big brother, but specifically gay. Now she has many gay best friends, and spent last evening in the Castro, celebrating with them. That gay big brother, had he existed, would have come into a family that believes what this woman -- Glennon Melton -- wrote. THIS is a mountain I'm willing to die on." 

I'm one of the fortunate ones.  I have had and continue to have many LGBTQ+ friends and we have shared many positive experiences.  We have seen a lot of change, although I generally think it isn't coming fast enough.  Just like this blog is NOT about me (it's about us all, and our potential), Pride too is NOT about me.  It is an important experience though and I'm glad we have this.  Thanks to all the people and organizations I have written about during Pride Months, and thanks to everyone who makes a difference.  In 2023 this is more important than ever.

Biden Proclaims June LGBTQI Pride Month

Yesterday President Joe Biden proclaimed 

June LGBTQI Pride Month. It wasn't a surprise, but it sure felt good. Actually I cried. It's a good feeling know the President is on your side. 

I remember President Biden telling of when he saw a gay couple for the first time. "I was a senior in high school," he said "and my dad was dropping me off.  "I was about to get out of the car and I look to my right, and two well-dressed men in suits kissed each other."  Mr. Biden continued "I turned and looked at my dad, and he said, 'Joey, it's simple, they love each other.'"

Here is the text of his proclamation:

In June 1969, a courageous group of Americans rose up to protest the violence and marginalization they faced in what became known as the Stonewall Uprising. Police had raided the Stonewall Inn — a gay bar located in New York City — and for the next six days they clashed with LGBTQI+ protestors, who bravely stood their ground. Their courage sparked a civil rights movement for the liberation of the LGBTQI+ community and changed our Nation forever.

During Pride Month, we honor a movement that has grown stronger, more vibrant, and more inclusive with every passing year. Pride is a celebration of generations of LGBTQI+ people, who have fought bravely to live openly and authentically. And it is a reminder that we still have generational work to do to ensure that everyone enjoys the full promise of equity, dignity, protection, and freedom.

Today, our Nation faces another inflection point. In 2023 alone, State and local legislatures have already introduced over 600 hateful laws targeting the LGBTQI+ community. Books about LGBTQI+ people are being banned from libraries. Transgender youth in over a dozen States have had their medically necessary health care banned. Homophobic and transphobic vitriol spewed online has spilled over into real life, as armed hate groups intimidate people at Pride marches and drag performances, and threaten doctors’ offices and children’s hospitals that offer care to the LGBTQI+ community. Our hearts are heavy with grief for the loved ones we have lost to anti-LGBTQI+ violence.

Despite these attacks, the LGBTQI+ community remains resilient. LGBTQI+ Americans are defiantly and unapologetically proud. Youth leaders are organizing walkouts at high schools and colleges across the country to protest discriminatory laws. LGBTQI+ young people and their parents are demonstrating unimaginable courage by testifying in State capitols in defense of their basic rights.

They are not alone: My entire Administration stands proudly with the LGBTQI+ community in the enduring struggle for freedom, justice, and equality. And we are making strides. On my first day in office, I signed a historic Executive Order charging the entire Federal Government with protecting LGBTQI+ people from discrimination — from health care to housing, education, employment, banking, and the criminal justice system. Last December, surrounded by dozens of couples who have fought for marriage equality in the courts for decades, I had the great honor of signing into law the landmark Respect for Marriage Act. This bipartisan law protects the rights of same-sex and interracial couples — like caring for one’s sick partner and receiving spousal benefits. Deciding who to marry is one of life’s most profound decisions, so we etched a simple truth into law: Love is love.

Meanwhile, I have taken unprecedented steps to support LGBTQI+ youth. During Pride Month last year, I signed an Executive Order charging Federal agencies with combating the dangerous and discredited practice of so-called “conversion therapy.” I also directed agencies to help end the crisis of homelessness among LGBTQI+ youth and adults and to address discrimination that LGBTQI+ kids face in foster care. The Department of Justice is combating laws that target transgender children, and the Departments of Education and Health and Human Services have proposed new rules to protect LGBTQI+ Americans from discrimination in health care, at school, and in sports. I also established the White House Task Force to Address Online Harassment and Abuse to develop concrete actions to prevent and respond to online harassment and abuse, which disproportionately target LGBTQI+ people. Additionally, my Administration made it easier for LGBTQI+ youth to access vital mental health support. Now, by calling the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and dialing the number 3, LGBTQI+ youth can speak to counselors who have been specifically trained to support them.

This country is stronger and more just when America’s leaders reflect the full diversity of our Nation, so I have appointed a historic number of highly qualified openly LGBTQI+ judges and public servants at all levels of the Federal Government. Our Armed Forces are most capable when all patriots can serve their country, so I protected the right of transgender people to once again serve openly in the military.

But there is more to do, like passing the bipartisan Equality Act, which would strengthen civil rights protections for LGBTQI+ people and families across America. We must also address the disproportionate levels of homelessness, poverty, and unemployment in the LGBTQI+ community and end the crisis of violence against transgender women and girls of color. We must support LGBTQI+ activists around the globe who are standing up for basic human rights and LGBTQI+ survivors of gender-based violence. And we must end the HIV/AIDS epidemic once and for all. Our collective freedoms are inextricably linked: when one group’s dignity and equality are threatened, we all suffer. This month and every month, let us celebrate the pride that powers the movement for LGBTQI+ rights and commit to doing our part to help realize the promise of America, for all Americans.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2023 as Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and Intersex Pride Month. I call upon the people of the United States to recognize the achievements of the LGBTQI+ community, to celebrate the great diversity of the American people, and to wave their flags of pride high.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this thirty-first day of May, in the year of our Lord two thousand twenty-three, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and forty-seventh.

JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR.

Did you ever know that you're my hero

Remember when Bette Midler sang "Did you ever know that you're my hero"?  The song is Wind Beneath My Wings and numerous other artists recorded it, but the point I want to make is regarding its lyrics.  I think it is talking about a friend or relative, someone who is special and whom she considers her hero and her idol. There is nothing wrong with a little hero worship and I think everyone should have someone like she does!

 

A few months before my mother died, I was helping her set up a new telephone lifeline system and, as a backup password, they wanted to know the name of her hero.  Without hesitation Mom said "Dad," meaning her father.  How wonderful that long after he had died, my mother still looked at her father as her hero.

 

I write here often of people we might consider heroes.  Some are well known and some are folks that would only be known within their community.  What is it that make them a hero though and has anyone ever encouraged them to continue that behavior?  One of the things I like about that Bette Midler song is that it seems to be addressed directly to her hero.  How wonderful!  Let that person know what you think of them.  Oh they my blush and even say "aw shucks!" but acknowledging good behavior only encourages more of it, and that certainly can't be a bad thing!

A Zen Folktale

I didn't write this one.  (Gosh!  I've quoted several "author unknown" tales here over the years).  This is a good story though, so I hope you'll read on.

A huge, rough samurai once went to see a little monk, hoping to acquire the secrets of the universe.

"Monk," he said, in a voice accustomed to instant obedience. "Teach me about heaven and hell."

The little monk looked up at the mighty warrior in silence. Then, after a moment, he said to the samurai with utter disdain, "Teach YOU about heaven and hell? I couldn't teach you about anything. You're dirty. You smell. Your blade is rusty. you're a disgrace, an embarrassment to the samurai class. Get out of my sight at once. I can't stand you!"

The samurai was furious. He began to shake all over from the anger that raced through him. A red flush spread over his face; he was speechless with rage. Quickly, menacingly, he pulled out his sword and raised it above his head, preparing to slay the monk.

"That's hell." said the little monk quietly.

The samurai was overwhelmed. Stunned. The compassion and surrender of this little man who had offered his life to give this teaching about hell! He slowly lowered his sword, filled with gratitude, and for reasons he could not explain his heart became suddenly peaceful.

"And that's heaven," said the monk softly.