the way to feel good is to do good

It's been awhile since I wrote here about one of the nicest guys in the world, Jon Bon Jovi, and after seeing him on television, I simply had to update what I have previously written.  (The picture by the way, is from CBS news which did a report on him during their Sunday Morning program). 

I could tell you the story of his very special restaurants, but many of you probably saw the report.  I hope it leads you to get involved though.  Check out their website at https://www.jonbonjovisoulfoundation.org/ and see how you can help.

It's not just what Bon Jovi is doing that inspires me.  I also paid close attention to what he said during the tv interview and was greatly encouraged by the words describing his work in his Soul Kitchens.  "It can obviously never compare to performing or writing songs," he said. "But what it does do is it gives you the same sense of fulfillment, I think, when I leave here at night and you see the lives you touch.  I have left here, you know, after a long night of volunteering and said, 'That makes you feel the same kind of good.' You know? And that's what I say, the way to feel good is to do good, you know?

"Find your good – and do it."  Excellent advice for us all!

How to get to Sesame Street

Everybody sing!  (You know you want to).

Sunny days
Sweeping the clouds away
On my way to where the air is sweet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to sesame street
Come and play
Everything's a-okay
Family neighbors friends
That's where we meet
Can you tell me how to get
How to get to sesame street How to get to sesame street
How to get to sesame street
How to get to sesame street

Even if you can't remember the words or the tune, you know the song.  Most of us have grown up with it.  Our kids have too.  It's the theme song of course from Sesame Street, the long-running children's tv show that turns 50 today.

Fifty?  Is that possible?  Yup.  The program began even before PBS, its home for most of its run.  That first year they were on NET (National Educational Television).  Some more numbers - 4,500 episodes have been produced.  There have also been 35 TV specials, 200 home videos, and 180 albums.  Oh and they even have a very popular YouTube channel.  These days they are also on HBO.

 

Is there anyone out there who has never watched this great show?  It doesn't just keep kids occupied, it help them learn.  What a difference it has made over the years in the lives of so many.  May it continue forever!

Stay Positive

Who thinks there is too much negativity in the world?  (Can I see a show of hands)?  Yes, I know how difficult it can be to stay positive when you are surrounded by negative energy, but there are things you can do.

The latest argument between Joy and Meghan getting you down?  Turn off The View!  Good honest discussion is always a good thing, but constant bickering is another matter.

Do you have a Debbie Downer at work or school or on social media?  Show that person the high road and the benefits of being positive.  If it doesn't work, don't let them drag you down.  Move away from them and toward those brighter lights.

Don't sweat the small stuff.  A very wise person once said this to me and it is so true.  Some things seem very important at the moment, but step back and have proper perspective.  Maybe your current situation isn't that important after all.

 

Stay healthy.  Positive people are generally healthy people, or those who are trying to be healthy.  Yes, colds and illness may show up, and sadly major medical conditions may arise.  Work through the situation though and attempt to have a healthy body.  Diet and exercise play a big role here.

 

Don't worry if you are not always happy too.  It's okay to be sad about certain things.  We all might have those bad moments.  You can still be positive though even in the face of sadness or sorrow.  Set some goals too.  Knowing what you are looking for in the future is a very positive attitude.

Free hugs!

I

I saw someone at a parade this summer, with a sign that read "free hugs."  People smiled when they saw it.  When people post in social media that they are having a bad day, it isn't long before the virtual hugs begin showing up.  Hugs make you feel good and even just the idea of a hug is rather pleasant. 

Do you realize that hugs cost nothing?  They are not taxable.  They don't require batteries.  They are returnable.  They make you feel good.  They are extremely personal. They reduce stress and generate goodwill.  Hugs are non-polluting.  A really is an excellent gift!  Actually they are fun to give and to receive!

Oh and as nice as it may be to receive or give a hug, research shows that there are actually medical benefits.  Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels and serotonin levels, healing any feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger while elevating our mood and creating happiness. 

What's to not like about a hug?

Grassroots campaigns work

Do you like what is going on in Washington, DC these days? Are you happy with the workings in your own state or local governments? How many of you can name your mayor or your representatives in Congress? When things are going like the people want them to, and when justice and equality fly out the window, it's time to get involved!

 

I actually think it is ALWAYS good to be involved. An example: where I live there are a couple of county officials that have recently made some outrageous statements. One was very racist, the other anti-gay. Some folks did turn out to protest, but only a few. We ALL need to keep up with these things. it matters. Turn on the evening tv news or pick up the morning newspaper. Stay aware, and then get involved.

 

It's amazing what a simple grassroots campaign can do. Seriously. The folks who say "You can't fight City Hall" are wrong. You can write letters, send emails, make phone calls and you can make a difference. To begin though, you need to know what you are doing. Inform yourself. A good way to find out about government bodies, is to look at their websites. Head on down to your local city hall and see the city council in action. Know about it, and then do something.

let's talk about leukemia

Some of you might think I am always talking about some kind of fundraiser, and it's true that I do that a lot.   Today:  leukemia.  Six years ago my mother died, and while leukemia was not her direct cause of death, she had been living with it for years and it did lead to a weakened system.  Because of Mom's leukemia, I became more aware of the disease when she was first diagnosed and annually participate in various events including the Light the Night Walk.
 

For those of you who don't know, leukemia is a type of blood cancer that begins in the bone marrow, the soft tissue in the center of the bones, where blood cells are produced. White blood cells (leukocytes) are used by the body to fight off infections and other foreign substances and a person with leukemia may have a weakened immune system and be unable to fight off a simple infection.  There are different types of leukemia and I couldn't give all of the answers here in this little space.  Actually nobody has all the answers.  That is why awareness is so important.

 

Seven years ago I participated in Light the Night Walk for the first time, and I've already signed up to do it again this year.  Leukemia is a treatable (bone marrow transplant, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, hormone treatments) disease and the rate of cure depends on the type of leukemia as well as the patient's age. Participation in The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Light The Night Walk funds therapies and treatment advances which help to save lives.  Yes, I know this blog is supposed to be NOT about me, but I am really passionate about this. 

The San Francisco walk is in November and you can come out and walk or you can sponsor me or another walker or simply make a general donation.  You can also look for walks that may be closer to where you live.  Go to http://www.lightthenight.org/ to find out more!

Unforgettable

Yesterday marked eighteen years since the horrible terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 and I saw so many people share their memories of what they were doing that day.  The memories are carved like stone and will never be forgotten.

If you were alive the day Pearl Harbor was bombed or the day John Kennedy was shot or when the space shuttle Challenger exploded, you probably can recall the activities of those days too.  There are times in our lives that are simply unforgettable.

I was thinking about that last night and it occurred to me that the moments that stick out or (to crib from Franklin D. Roosevelt), these days that live in infamy, are most always tragedies.  Yes, there is good reason to recall these dark moments, but with so many happy uplifting things happening in our lives, I'd much rather be remembering them.  It is true that most people can remember their wedding day or perhaps graduation or first day at a new job, but there have to be many more unforgettable moments.

 

Perhaps we can be trendsetters and begin sharing positive uplifting moments.  There are historical events that certainly would qualify, not just times in our personal lives.  What do you say?  Are you with me?  Think of a historical moment that you consider to be both positive and uplifting, as well as unforgettable, and share it with us in the comments below.

Remembering that dark day again

Today on this 18th anniversary of one of the saddest days in world history, I want to again quote a clergyman named Frank Griswold. Back on that dark day in 2001, Griswold was the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in the US. This essay of his (which he wrote a few days after the terrorist attacks, and which I have printed here before) is a personal account of how he spent the days that followed those attacks, and it is a story of hope in the face of despair. Hope that we should all continue to carry with us. This is what he wrote:

On Friday, September 14, the day of national mourning, I knew my place was here in New York with those who were courageously struggling with the aftermath of the hideous events of the previous Tuesday. A police van picked me up at the Church Center and transported me through checkpoints to the Seaman's Church Institute within the restricted area where police, firefighters, National Guard, rescue workers and Con Edison technicians were being cared for with food, fresh changes of clothing, and words of thanks and encouragement from tireless volunteers.

In the midst of the chaos I was asked to celebrate the Eucharist. It was Holy Cross Day, and how appropriate and right it was that our mourning and grief be rooted and grounded in the mystery of the cross. St. Paul speaks of sharing the sufferings of Christ. I thought that every act of violence, and all that it produces, is an instance of Christ's own suffering with and on behalf of those he came to reconcile to one another through the cross.

In the Gospel reading for the day, we hear Jesus proclaim: "When I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw all people to myself." The cross is Jesus' facing into all the subtle and obvious forces of evil the divide the human family, drawing us all to himself in order that we might be transformed and live in new patterns of relationship: patterns which are grounded in the awareness that - at the heart of all differences of language, race, culture and ways of believing and naming God - we are profoundly one in the mind and heart of our Creator. That this terrible act of terrorism has provoked blind and indiscriminate blame directed against our Moslem and Arab neighbors is to allow the evil we are suffering to catch us up in its ongoing destructive force, and make us its victim in yet another way.

After the Eucharist, Phoebe and I were taken through more checkpoints to "Ground Zero." This close to the impact, gray ash lay everywhere and coated the silent and abandoned buildings, among them St. Paul's Chapel where George Washington worshiped. Outside the church the American and Episcopal Church flags, stained and torn, fluttered at half-mast. An ancient tree had been uprooted and its branches rested on the gravestones. The building was intact, but the churchyard was thick with ash and debris and thousands of bits of paper. The iron gate was ajar. I pushed it open and climbed the littered and ash covered steps to the open door of the church. In an eerie way, everything seemed to be in order, except for the covering of dust. I found myself in tears. Here, at the heart of all the chaos and destruction was a place of solace and prayer.

The sacristy door stood open. I went in and found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote "I have been here and you have my prayers and my love. Frank Griswold, Presiding Bishop." I turned to leave and just then the priest arrived. "I'm here and the church is open," he said. What more could one ask for at a time like this than the ministry of presence.

As we left, I looked up at the crucifix above the altar and had the sense that the extended arms could receive and embrace all the madness and hatred and destruction and suffering that lay close by and in all the places in our fragile world where violence and death and innocent suffering are a daily reality. Somehow this terrible event has joined us in solidarity with the suffering of the world.

That evening I took part in a service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine. At the end of the service, the congregation with lighted candles in hand followed us out onto the cathedral steps where people, instead of dispersing into the evening, drew close to one another, still holding on to their candles. Passersby joined them, some stopping to buy candles in nearby shops.

Spontaneous singing began…"We shall overcome…." I thought of the overwhelming generosity of spirit that had flowed through the day. I thought of the selfless volunteers and their eagerness to be useful; the many workers and their gratitude; the congregation bound together in mutual support. I was seeing evil overcome by good which is the only way in which our world can be healed. I was also seeing our church in action and prayer and hospitality mediate the real presence of Christ.

How grateful I am for our Episcopal household and for its clear witness at this time. The days ahead will be difficult and demanding for us all, and I pray that we will be able to live them with the courage and strength that are ours in the risen Christ.

-The Most Reverend Frank T. Griswold

XXV Presiding Bishop and Primate

The Episcopal Church, USA

Remembering them ALL

"Some of them have left behind a name, so that others declare their praise.  But of others there is no memory; they have perished as though they had never existed; they have become as though they had never been born, they and their children after them."  The words are from the 44th chapter of Ecclesiasticus, sometimes called the Book of Sirach.  On this Labor Day, I was thinking of these words because of all the women and men who have made a difference with our working rights.  We know some of their names, but others worked to make things better and got no personal credit.

 

I notice when some people donate to charity, they want their name in print.  "Look what a great thing I did," some folks seem to be saying.  Others quietly go about there business tossing in whatever they can afford and caring nothing about being praised for their generosity. 

 

When I was little, we sang a song "When you want it say PLEASE, when you get it say THANK YOU.  When someone says THANK YOU, then you answer YOU'RE WELCOME!"  For some reason that song has always stuck in my head.  There were no conditions or special circumstances in the song and I think that is as it should be.  When someone does something or gives something, thank them.  Always!  When someone thanks you for your contribution whether it is a deed or a gift, say you are welcome.

 

People can be anonymous if they truly wish, but we should still remember the things they do. All of us are important and none us of should just be forgotten as if we had never even come this way.  On this Labor Day I want to thank my union leaders and workers who have lead the way and made a difference.  I also want to thank and call to mind everyone who has come before - my grandparents, my mom and dad, the teachers, coworkers, the singers and actors and other entertainers, the scientists, the elected officials, and so many others from every walk of life who have made a difference.  May your memory last forever.

Too busy to be a Good Samaritan?

I'm sure you have all heard the term Good Samaritan before.  It is used as a common metaphor, applying to any charitable person, especially one who rescues or helps out a needy stranger as in the Biblical parable.  (Luke 10:29-37).  How many of us have it in us to truly be good Samaritans?  How many of us are too busy with our daily lives to even take a second to help?

As I have written here over the years, there are many different ways of helping out people in need.  Yes, sometimes we don't have a lot of money to give, but it isn't always about money.  There are certainly other things we can do.  Give a little time.  Give a little thought. Look at your neighborhood with fresh eyes. Where are the needs? What do you see, hear, smell, touch? What is it that YOU can do?

 

Feeding the hungry might seem huge, but how about bringing an extra sandwich in  your lunch and giving it to the first person you see who is hungry?  You can also buy fast food gift cards to give out to people you see who need a meal.  (These generally range in price from ten dollars up).  Eating out?  Pack up what you didn't finish and give it to someone on the street.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen or food pantry.  Donate canned goods.  What else?  Be creative!  Share some ideas with us.

 

Being a good Samaritan is something we can all make time for and there are many ways to do this.  Will YOU find the time, or are you too busy?

Not just for Catholics

When I first began this blog over eleven years ago, I wrote here about Father Leo Patalinghug and have mentioned him a few times since, but it is high time for an update!  Father Leo is a very busy man.  He is also a very inspiring man and I do hope you will check out some of what he does.

 

Yes, Father Leo is a Roman Catholic priest, but you certainly don't have to be Roman Catholic to be able to relate to him.  Father is also a choreographer, martial arts instructor, tv personality, chef, tour guide, podcaster, radio host, author, blogger, and more!  I don't understand where he finds the time!

 

If you like tv cooking segments and shows (think Julia Child, Martin Yan, and Ronnie Woo), you will love what he does with food in front of a camera.  New ideas in the kitchen are always welcome as far as I'm concerned.  Check out https://fatherleofeeds.com/ for more about the Plating Grace movement and some of Father's many activities.

 

Father Leo does a lot of traveling too.  He does speaking engagements all over and also leads pilgrimages to the Holy Land and other places as well.  You can also find out about these activities on their website.

 

I have to also mention his podcast, Shoot the Shiitake.  You will hear real people in real conversations, that will certainly stimulate your thinking.

 

If you ever listen to anything I say, listen to this:  Father Leo Patalinghug is making a difference and the world is a better place because of him.  I'm sure you will agree after spending just a few minutes of hearing him speak.  Tell your friends too!

Jaden gives back

Jaden Smith is in the news this week.  It's certainly not the first time he has been in the news.  Over the years, Jaden has said and done a lot of things that have made folks take notice.  Some of them have been controversial. He's rapper, singer, songwriter, and actor, and also the son of famous parents (Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith).   Today though people are talking about Jaden, who is vegan, because he has started a mobile restaurant providing free vegan dinners for the homeless.

Feeding the hungry.  What a great way to make a difference!  It was a pop-up truck, dubbed I Love You Restaurant, and they handed out brown bags with I Love You bowls of carrots and kale. On Instagram he said "Today We Launched Our First One Day Food Truck Pop-Up in Downtown LA. Keep A Look Out Because This Is The First Of Many."  We have no details of when or where, but what a nice beginning.

This is not the first time we have seen Jaden giving back and making a difference.  He is a partner in the company Just Water which has brought filtration systems to places that really need it, like Flint, MI.

Monday was Jaden's birthday, and what a wonderful way to celebrate!  Wouldn't it be cool if we all celebrated our birthdays by doing something nice for others?

And the beat goes on

Everything for the past month has been LGBTQ themed, it having been Pride Month, but there is of course so much more to talk about.  Next year's Presidential Election is already getting a lot of attention.  Of course what we do here is talk about heroes and making a difference.  Any suggestions?  Seriously.  Right down below you can tell us about some heroes you think should be mentioned.

 

Before we get too far away from June and LGBTQ Pride, I want to say one more thing.  There seemed to be so much love and cooperation and so many positive stories.  Why does it have to be for just one month?  That attitude should exist every single day.  It is way past time to put an end to hate.  I've been seeing a lot of attacks on women too and that has to stop.  We are all created equal.  We need to act that way!

 

Okay, so I got on my soapbox for a minute.  We all should do that from time to time.  Every single one of us has the power to make change and to help make our world a better place.  And the beat goes on .  .  .

Before the Parade Passes By

LGBTQ Pride Parades will be happening many places today, including San Francisco where I participated for so many years.  Before the parade passes by though I want to say a few more things about LGBTQ history and all of these events.

 

All this month I have broken from writing about various ways we can make a difference and I have focused of the many people and events that have helped improve conditions and promote equality for our LGBTQ sisters and brothers.  There are so many more stories that can be told.  I'd like to invite you once again to share your own stories in the comments section below. 

 

I world is a better place and so many good people have done good things, but we still have a long way to go.  People should fell safe wherever they are and at all times, not just at celebrations one month out of the year.  Together, we can make the world a better place.  Let's always stand against hate.

 

Oh and about those parades, there was a time when there would be little media coverage.  Today many of the parades are being televised live!  Watch live coverage from New York HERE beginning at noon Eastern Time and watch the San Francisco parade live HERE beginning at 10:30am Pacific Time.  Happy Pride everyone!

Arson claims 32 lives

We wrote here about this tragedy back on June 12th and also wrote about the mass murder that occurred three years ago in Orlando.  What many people don't know about the New Orleans arson at the UpStairs Lounge, is that very little was said about it being a gay bar.

Thirty two people died in that horrific fire on this date back in 1973.  Some of the bodies were never claimed.  Some churches refused to hold funerals.  (I can recall the same thing happening during the early days of AIDS).  A local Episcopal priest held a small memorial liturgy with about eighty people present.  The priest received hate mail as a result and his bishop expressed sharp disapproval that the service had been held.

While this tragedy didn't get much publicity at the time, a documentary about the fire, UpStairs Inferno  was released n 2015.  Two years ago an Off-Broadway musical called The View Upstairs opened at The Lynn Redgrave Theater in New York City. 

The most likely suspect was never charged and took his own life a year later.   There was never any solid evidence proving that the arson was motivated by hate or homophobia.  It was the deadliest known attack on a gay club in this country until the 2016 Pulse shooting in Orlando.

The Trevor Project

Yesterday I mentioned The Trevor Project, but today I want to say a lot more.  (I really should have done this last night when they presented an amazing program and fundraiser).  This incredible organization provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning youth and helped so many kids get their lives on track.  I was pleased to see Eugene Lee Yang's connection and so many other celebrities.

I watched TrevorLIVE last night as they celebrated 21 years of our life-saving work. It was a heartwarming program, and as I said earlier, I wish I had told you about it yesterday, so many of you could have tuned in.  I do hope many of you will donate though.  The easiest way is through their secure website HERE.  You can also find out much more about them by going to https://www.thetrevorproject.org

I hope you will share this information with family and friends too.  All too often lgbtq youth are disowned by their parents or other relatives.  Feeling alone and isolated can be a terrifying experience.  How wonderful that The Trevor Project is there for people who find themselves all alone.  If you know of anyone thinking about suicide, they deserve immediate help - please call the Trevor Lifeline at 866-488-7386.

I'm Gay

Over the weekend, Eugene Lee Yang came out as gay.  That might not be huge news and some of you might be asking just who is Eugene Lee Yang.  Well he is an actor who became best known from the internet and is part of The Try Guys an online comedy series currently available on YouTube.  On Saturday, the Try Guys released a video which Yang wrote and directed and which is his coming out story.  The video is stunning.

I don't know much about his hometown or how difficult it might have been for him growing up.  Yang is from Pflugerville, Texas - ever heard of it?  It's a suburb or Austin.

There has probably been more written about Eugene Lee Yang in the past 24 hours than in all of his 33 years.  Most of what I have seen isn't centering on his talent and career, but on the spectacular way he told the world he is gay.  If you want to see the video, click HERE.  Share it with your friends too.  It can be a difficult and courageous action, but what Yang did this weekend - so appropriate during this Pride Month, can be a source of strength and encouragement to so many.  He could have just posted "I'm gay" on social media.  Instead he presented a visual experience that will be remembered for years to come.  By the way, ODESZA provides the incredible music for the video.

One more thing:  Yang tweeted "I've also created a fundraiser for the Trevor Project to help save LGBTQ+ lives."  (The Trevor Project is one of my favorite organizations, and I will write more about them tomorrow).  Thank you so much Eugene for making a difference! 

It's going to happen, whether you like it or not

California's Governor, Gavin Newsom is not a gay man but he believes that gay men and women should have the same rights as everyone else, particularly in the area of marriage.  It was he, while he was Mayor of San Francisco, who directed the county clerk to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and got the marriage equality ball rolling. 

 

This is not to say for one second that others were not a part of this fight and credit should certainly be given to City Attorney Dennis Herrera and to so many faithful love warriors.  Gavin Newsom though played a major role and it was fitting that he would officiate the wedding of gay pioneers Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon.

 

Would we have gotten where we are today without Newsom?  Probably, but not as quickly.  Every movement needs a beginning, and for this one, it was his actions.  Newsom is not just a lgbtq supporter in the area of marriage, he has proudly supported the lgbtq community over and over and I'm certain will continue to.

Earlier this month he issued a proclamation declaring June 2019, as “LGBTQ Pride Month” in the state of California and speaking of "our remarkable capacity to live together and advance together across every conceivable difference."  The proclamation says "This June, we stand with the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) community of California as they declare their pride in who they are and who they love."

Newsom has participated in San Francisco's Pride Parade for many years, but later this month he will do it as Governor of California and will be the first sitting governor of the state to do so.
 

Of all his statements in support of the lgbtq community, I will always remember his speech regarding same-sex marriage in which he said "It's going to happen, whether you like it or not."

Gay Mass Tragedies

Last Saturday I mentioned the terrible Pulse Nightclub tragedy and said remember them with action.  I want to repeat that because it is so important and today is the anniversary of that massacre.  When I wrote about it back in 2016 here in this space, I said we should never forget and I wrote something on the subject for several days in a row.  Any loss of life is terrible and it becomes that much worse when it is motivated by hate.  Remember the forty-nine souls who perished that day because of hatred and learn some of the things you can do by going to https://honorthemwithaction.org/ too.

 

Sadly, this was not the only hate crime against the LGBTQ community. Another horrible attack occurred during the month of June, this one in the French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana way back on June 24, 1973, at a gay bar called the UpStairs Lounge. Thirty-two people died as a result of fire or smoke inhalation.  The exact cause was never proven, but that does not change the fact that people died a horrible death.  Not much publicity surrounding that incident either.

 

I listed the names here on Saturday of the victims of the Pulse massacre.  I'd like you to also know the names of those who lost their lives in New Orleans.  Sadly, two of them were never identified.  Say their names.

 

Willie Inez Warren

Eddie Hosea Warren

James Curtis Warren

Luther Boggs

Rev. William R. Larson

Dr. Perry Lane Waters, Jr.

Horace “Skip” Getchell

Leon Richard Maples

George Steven Matyl

James Wall Hembrick

Larry Stratton

Joe William Balley

Clarence Joseph McCloskey, Jr.

Adam Roland Fontenot

Ferris LeBlanc

Donald Walter Dunbar

Kenneth Paul Harrington

Gerald Hoyt Gordon

John Thomas Golding, Sr.

Douglas Maxwell Williams

Robert “Bob” Lumpkin

David Stuart Gary

Guy D. Anderson

Duane George “Mitch” Mitchell

Louis Horace Broussard

Reginald Adams, Jr.

Joseph Henry Adams

Herbert Dean Cooley

Glenn Richard “Dick” Green

Larry Norman Frost

Unidentified White Male

Unidentified White Male

Phyllis

You cannot talk about lgbtq heroes without mentioning this lady, Phyllis Lyon.  A former journalist, Phyllis met another incredible woman, Del Martin some 64 years ago, and together they made a lot of history.

The two women were active in the National Organization for Women, Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club (San Francisco), and Old Lesbians Organizing for Change.  They also formed the Council on Religion and the Homosexual.  With six other gay women, they formed the Daughters of Bilitis way back in 1955.  This was way before equal rights were being talked about anywhere and it was the first national lesbian organization in the US.

Phyllis spent over fifty years with Del, and then in 2004, they married when San Francisco began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples.  Six months later that marriage was voided by the California Supreme Court but there was more legal fighting to come.  That same court legalized same-sex marriage four years later, and in the first same-sex wedding to take place in San Francisco after that ruling, Phyllis and Del again exchanged vows.  Sadly, Del passed away two months later.

Phyllis Lyon has continued the fight.  Proposition 8 took away same-sex marriage for a short time, but the courts finally made same-sex marriage legal again in California and I will always remember that day.  I was in the San Francisco City Hall rotunda awaiting the announcement with a huge crowd gathered, and down the grand staircase came Phyllis Lyon with the Lt Governor on one arm and the Mayor of San Francisco on the other.  I felt sad that her wife couldn't have been there with her.

This fall Phyllis turns 95.  I'll be she is a bit amazed at how much progress we have made in her lifetime, much of which came about thanks to her dedicated work.

Successful new Pride

Located about 105 miles southeast of Las Vegas, Nevada the city of Kingman, Arizona is the seat of Mohave County and has a population just over 28,068. It is the reddest county in Arizona with more votes cast here for Donald Trump than any other part of the state. Yesterday though it show a thing or two about diversity and equality as it hosted its first-ever Pride event. Some say that over 3,000 attended. I was one of them.

Folks came from all over - all ages, genders, sexual orientations, races - all kinds of people.  Local merchants participated.  There were numerous events for the kids (like face painting).  There was live music.  There was food and beer and yummy ice-cream.  Oh and the weather was perfect, which is not always the case in this neck-of-the-woods.  Two local women were the primary organizers of the event and although this was a new venture for them, you could have sworn this was what they always do.  All of the comments I heard were positive.  This was indeed a very successful new Pride event.

For those who have attended Pride in other cities, there were a lot of familiar things too.  Folks were being themselves and having a good time.  The Human Rights Campaign, the largest LGBTQ advocacy group and political lobbying organization in the country, was present with a booth.  Also on hand were The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence from both Las Vegas and Phoenix.

 

There are new Pride events happening all the time.  Perhaps there is one near you this month.  I hope they can all be a fun and as successful as this one!

Honor Them With Action

One of the darkest days in our history occurred just a few years ago in Orlando, FL.  It was on June 12, 2016 that a gunman shot and killed 49 people and wounded 53 others inside Pulse, a gay nightclub that was hosting Latin Night. Honor Them With Action is the national campaign to ensure the lasting memorial of the Pulse massacre is the real change of uprooting hatred, discrimination, and violence of all kinds against the LGBTQ and Latinx communities, and those who live within both.  So today through June 16th, intentionally do something in your community to make a difference.

 

As I have mentioned already, the very first Pride event where I currently live is today.  What better place to come out and so love and support for everyone, and honor the memory of the horrible tragedy in Orlando.  Here is Kingman is just one place of course,  You can honor them wherever you may be.

 

You can donate money, get more information, or get further involved by checking in at https://honorthemwithaction.org/ too.

 

Let me also remind you of the men and women who lost their lives that night due to hate.  Don't let them be forgotten.  Say their names.

Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
Juan Chavez Martinez, 25 years old
Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
Cory James Connell, 21 years old
Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
Anthony Luis Laureano Disla, 25 years old
Christopher “Drew” Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
KJ Morris, 37 years old
Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
Luis Daniel Lestat Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
Jerald “Jerry” Arthur Wright, 31 years old

This Could Be The Start Of Something Big

Celebrating the fiftieth anniversary of Stonewall this year, there are a lot of new Pride events and I am thrilled and excited to see something happening in Mohave County, Arizona.  This happens to be where I live these days, so I have an extra reason to be hoping for success here.  

For the very first time, there is a Pride event in downtown Kingman, AZ and the day long festival in the park tomorrow will be followed in the evening by an after-party complete with drag queens.  While that might be business as usual in a large city, it's not what you usually find in this relatively small town.

This could be the start of something big folks and I really hope it is successful!  I am not one of the organizers, but I do know that a lot of work has gone into this.  If you live in or near Northwest Arizona, come to Kingman tomorrow and join in the fun.  The festival will be from 10am to 8pm in Metcalf Park on Beale Street in Kingman.  The after-party is nearby, and a Sunday morning drag brunch is the perfect way to end the Pride celebration here.  Tell your friends too!

Now this not having happened here before, I cannot tell you how successful it will be.  A lot of that is up to us.  As with all struggles, if we want to make progress, we have to participate.  On Sunday, I wrote here about the need for Pride and I think the need if often greater in smaller communities.  I am very happy that local media have been reporting on this, and I hope others will keep spreading the word.  As I often say, together we can make a difference!

The Caring Leader

Making a difference - that's what this blog is all about.  Volunteering is about making a difference too.  I enjoy the time I spend volunteering, but since this blog is NOT about me, let me tell you one of the reasons I enjoy volunteering:  our Volunteer Services Manager.  First let me remind you that I never write about private parties without their knowledge and consent, unless they are public figures or have already been publicized by the media.  I won't therefore be referring to this woman by name.

Other than family, I don't think I have ever met someone as caring and committed as this woman.  It was perfect that she was chosen to recruit, train, and  supervise volunteers. Most people love making someone else’s life a little bit easier. That is one of the reason so many folks volunteer their time.  Quite simply helping others makes us happier.  Our manager though isn't a volunteer, she is a paid staff member.  You might expect her to put in her time and go home.  Nope.  She seems to be involved 24 hours a day. 

 

Of course any good leader should care, but we all know that isn't the case.  Some managers don't lead, they just bark orders.  How many of them really care about you outside of work too?  Sadly the answer is not many.  My manager though is one of those amazing exceptions.  She is always thinking about her volunteers and seems to always find time for them.  During a recent stay in the hospital, she visited me a couple of times, brought me flowers, and even came by to drive me home when I was discharged.  It didn't stop there.  She called later on to see how I was doing!

 

Throughout life I have tried to copy the actions of many of my heroes - folks who to me are making a difference.  I have learned so much from them and am inspired to do better.  My volunteer services manager is such a great example of someone I want to copy.  The world is a better place because of her!

Raining money

Money does NOT rain down from the sky - we all realize that, but sometimes it might seem that way. Arson destroyed several Louisiana churches that were pillars of the African American community. On Sunday, an online fundraiser to help those churches rebuild, had raised just below $50,000. By yesterday morning, the total had skyrocketed to $1 million, following the horrible fire at Notre-Dame Cathedral. What a huge increase!  As I write this, it stands at $1,905,749. Yesterday I mentioned here that money is pouring in to help rebuild and repair the Cathedral. All of this is wonderful, right?

 

Here is my concern:  if we have that kind of money, couldn't we wipe out hunger, homelessness, poverty?  Could we not help the sick, even cure them?  Could we not fix up broken building all around the world?  It seems to me, and I am no expert, that generosity should not just be an occasional thing.  How wonderful it would be if people were this generous all the time!  When I do fundraising for non-profit organizations, the folks who give the most are usually the ones who have the least.  Why is that?

 

No certainly people cannot be forced to donate money, and I don't mean to suggest for a minute that funds should not be made available to rebuild Notre-Dame and the other churches, but since there is money, how can we get some of that donated to help other needs?  Can't we do both?  Let's cure the sick and house the homeless and feed the hungry and really make the world a better place.  I know we CAN do it!

From out of the ashes

People around the world watched yesterday as a horrific fire broke out in the roof of Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris, France, causing colossal damage to the building - the spire and roof collapsed, and considerable damage was caused to the interior, the upper walls and windows, and to numerous works of art. The fire was extinguished some fifteen hours later, but the space was now filled with stones and ashes and smoke and water-damage.

As terrible as all this was, there was a lot of good news.  People came together and continue to.  The world was truly fixed on this event.  Fortunately the stone vaulted ceiling beneath the roof prevented much of the fire from spreading to the interior of the building, which saved the cathedral from much worse damage. Some contents were evacuated by a human chain of volunteers and civil servants.  Seeing people come together was such a joyous experience.

More than $920 million has already been pledged for the reconstruction of Notre-Dame, according to French Culture Minister Franck Riester, and donations continue to pour in.  Go to https://www.rebatirnotredamedeparis.fr/index_en.html if you would like to donate.

 

Seeing people come together for a positive cause is always a refreshing thing.  While it was terrible that this damage occurred, it is hopeful that so many are doing something about it.

Hope from Mayor Pete

"My name is Pete Buttigieg. They call me Mayor Pete. I am a proud son of South Bend, Indiana and I'm running for president of the United States.  I recognize the audacity of doing this as a Midwestern millennial mayor. More than a little bold -- at age 37 to seek the highest office in the land." 

Those words spoken yesterday afternoon have already gotten a lot of attention.  I don't usually write about politics here, but yesterday, with this announcement, Pete Buttigieg made a little history.  His husband was there by his side too.  That alone is something I have never been able to say about a presidential candidate - "his husband."  An historic moment.

It was forty two years ago that Harvey Milk famously said "The only thing they have to look forward to is hope. And you have to give them hope. Hope for a better world, hope for a better tomorrow, hope for a better place to come to if the pressures at home are too great. Hope that all will be all right. Without hope, not only gays, but the blacks, the seniors, the handicapped, the us'es, the us'es will give up. And if you help elect to the central committee and other offices, more gay people, that gives a green light to all who feel disenfranchised, a green light to move forward. It means hope to a nation that has given up, because if a gay person makes it, the doors are open to everyone."

 

One of the things I think Mayor Pete did yesterday, was he renewed that hope.  He got a lot of folks believing once again - not just gay people, but anyone who had given up hope. 

 

"The horror show in Washington is mesmerizing, all-consuming," Buttigieg said. "But starting today, we are going to change the channel. Sometimes a dark moment brings out the best in us, what is good in us, dare I say, what is great in us."

Woman donates over 200 shoes

Addy Tritt has been on tv and in the newspapers this week because of her generous donation of over 200 shoes.  You may have already heard this story, but it warms my heart and I just have to share it. 

As you may know, the Payless shoes stores are closing down and liquidating their entire inventory.  Ms Tritt was in one of their stores thinking "who could I donate these to"?  Just thinking about it is pretty wonderful I think, but she went further.  All the shoes (204 of them) were priced at a dollar each, but she didn't have that much money so she began to negotiate with them.  How cool is that?  A lot of folks would have just bought what they could afford, or even given up, but Ms Tritt kept at it until she got the entire remaining stock for just $100.  Oh my!

Where should these go?  Where will they do the most good? She remembered the devastating flooding in Nebraska and decided that is where she should send them.  So many families have lost everything, so any donation is helpful, but this one is huge.  Oh and when asked about it I love what Addy Tritt told the press:  "This is just part of being a human being. It brings me so much joy."

More about Seth

I've written here a few times about Seth Owen, but an update is certainly in order.  First a bit of background for those of you who might not have heard of him.  Seth's parents could not accept that he is gay, so he left home.  An excellent student, there was going to be an issue with college tuition, and a wonderfully supportive setup an online fundraiser for him.  So many donation poured in that they raised more money than we needed and an appearance on tv with Ellen DeGeneres gave even more funds. Seth, who is now an undergraduate student at Georgetown University, created a non-profit called Unbroken Horizons Scholarship Foundation, to help students in marginalized communities access higher education.

When I last wrote about Seth five weeks ago, I mentioned Unbroken Horizons and a fundraiser that had been setup to raise more money for this program. In that time, donations from 116 people have raised $31,590 of the $37,500 goal they set for themselves.  It seems safe to say they will exceed their goal.  How wonderful, huh?  I always love stories of people making a difference.  You are certainly welcome to contribute too by clicking HERE and you can also find out much more about this organization at https://www.unbrokenhorizons.org/ (where you can also donate if your prefer to do so directly, and you can volunteer your time too).

Last month, at their Greater Jacksonville Gala, Equality Florida, recognized Seth for his leadership and activism. He has also been doing a lot of public speaking. In fact, he is now listed on the nonprofit, social justice speaking agency SpeakOut.  I now we will be hearing a lot more from Seth Owen!

Getting back into the swing

There is so much still to write here, but after my hospital stay, I seem to be slowly getting back into the swing of things.  I was going to write something about suicide awareness last week and never got to it and I might have normally written about All Fools Day today, but instead I am going to write a sort of continuation of yesterday's blog.

Yesterday was Transgender Day of Visibility, and I certainly would normally write about that here. It is so very important that we continue to raise awareness of discrimination faced by our transgender sisters and brothers here in this country and around the world.  I can assure you there will be much more said here.

 

There are still lots of wonderful heroes too and I intend to write about them.  My boss is one of my latest heroes by the way.  It is incredible how she makes a difference in the lives of so many people every single day!  I need to update the stories of some folks I have previously written about too.  I will.  I promise.

 

Of course your comments and suggestions help a lot too.  I certainly don't have all the answers, so share here the things that matter and together we can really make a difference.

National Doctors Day

How appropriate that I should wake up on National Doctors Day, as a patient in a hospital.  I am unable to add any graphics to today's post, but I want to say I am grateful, not only to physicians, but to all the health care professionals who are treating me. 

Take a moment and think about all the doctors you know, either as friends or relatives, or those whom you know professionally.  The gift of good health is precious and I am grateful for all of these women and men.  Such an important field and one which we will all call upon at some point in our lives.  This commemoration was the idea of a doctor's wife, and the date chosen was the anniversary of the first use of general anesthesia in surgery. The first Doctors’ Day observance was Georgia back in the early 30s.

 

Today, or in the days ahead, say thank you to a doctor.

embrace equality

Should women be allowed to vote? Should a Black woman be allowed to marry a White man? Should two people with the same education and experience, and doing the same job, be paid the same amount, regardless of their sex? Should two adult females be allowed to marry each other? The questions I am asking here deal with equality. There are many more examples of course, but you get my point.

Time after time most polls show that Americans believe in equality and time after time the courts have ruled in favor of equal treatment, so what's the problem? Why don't we actually HAVE equality. Why do some people still refuse to treat others fairly?

 

"My personal conviction says I shouldn't do that," some are saying, or "It's against my religion."  What religion preaches discrimination?  Seriously.  When will we stop with the excuses and just embrace equality?  Let's be fair.  My personal conviction tells me that's the way to go.  My religion says so too!

My hero My mom

Today is the anniversary of a sad day for me, and even though this blog is NOT about me, I have mentioned my mother on many occasions.  This is the date on which she passed away six years ago.  I cannot help thinking about what an incredible mother she was - what an incredible person she was!

 

Most folks called her Teddy.  My sister and I of course called her Mom.  I also call her my hero.  She was always there for her family and her friends.  She loved to give whether money, or time, or her various talents, or even just her presence.  Even in her last days she was planning for happy events.  She wanted to share Easter dinner with my sister and I that year, but died just a few days before.

 

Sometimes I will wonder why there seems to be less love in the world.  There certainly was a lot of it from Mom.  She is one of the reasons I write this every morning and she is one of the reasons why I volunteer and why I keep involved in the community and in various organizations.  Thanks Mom for your love, your leadership, and your inspiration.  I miss you.

Arizona sunrise

If you read this regularly, you know I only moved to Arizona a few years ago and I still have not gotten used to all the breathtaking views. Lovely images of nature's beauty seem to be just about anywhere you look. It's especially nice at this time of year watching the sun come up just as I finish my morning jog.

When you live in a big city, there's a different kind of beauty - sometimes it's manmade. I loved running past shop windows or urban parks at the start of day back in San Francisco. I can recall the lovely sights from my Upstate New York childhood too. It's everywhere. Enjoy the views that brighten our days.

One of the really cool things is that we don't all have the same view. Even within one town, there are going to be differences depending on which direction you are going or the street you are on. Trees might block part of your view, but look down and discover the flowers or look the other way and perhaps there are some birds. After living in the city most of my life, I was really surprised at the animal life I have discovered here, including all kinds of birds, all sizes of lizards, and cute hopping rabbits. (Oh and there are snakes too, but that's when I prefer to look the other way).

The Arizona sunrise was gorgeous this morning.  At this time of year the temperature is perfect too, so I just might go out and explore some more of the views! Have a wonderful day. Enjoy the scenery wherever you are.