That's beautiful!

Did you ever look out your car window and say "That's beautiful!"? How about taking a walk through the community where you live and you stumble across a scene that moves you because it's just lovely?  The "beautiful" here in this picture is from the Japanese Tea Garden in San Francisco's Golden Gate Park, not far from where I once lived.

Here in Arizona where I live now, there is a lot of beauty too.  Even in the wide-open desert there is beauty.  I seem to see beauty everywhere I go.  It's not just on the ground or in the sky.

Beauty can be on the buildings and even on the clothing that people are wearing, and lest we forget, beauty can be within the people we encounter, too (even when we are wearing masks).  It's actually very rare to find a person who does not have beauty within.  You don't have to even look hard - just open your eyes and open your heart.

If we all take a moment to see the beauty that is all around us, I very certain we will realize how beautiful this great world of ours is!

Strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate?

Listening to a talk show the other day, I heard a well-meaning person several times speak of "lifestyle" and "sexual preference" when talking about lesbians and gays. Well, after the smoke came out of my ears, I realized it was time to do one of those "educational" posts.

First off, it is NOT a preference! Let me give you an example of preference. Some people eat vanilla ice cream. Some like chocolate better. My favorite happens to be strawberry. Of course I will eat any of those flavors. I love ice cream. What we are talking about here though is a preference. I prefer strawberry. It is my personal preference.

Now when it comes to dating men or dating women, this is NOT a preference matter. I do not simply like one better than the other. Oh no! I am ONLY attracted in a sexual and in a romantic way to men. I am gay. It is my orientation, NOT my preference. It's also not a lifestyle choice. You don't wake up one morning and say "I'm going to wear the gay outfit today."

Now I am sure that someone may disagree with all of this, so I ask as I always do for your comments below. I'd love to know if anyone agrees. From where I sit though there is a big difference and saying sexual preference suggests what we make a choice, when in fact our orientation was predetermined and was not our choice. So, what do YOU think? Any thoughts?

In times of personal crisis

One of the most rewarding things I do is volunteer at a local hospital.  I know this blog is NOT about me, but I simply must share how good the volunteer experience is.  I see men and women from their teen years up into their senior years (there was actually a women in her mid 90s volunteering until recently) doing all sorts of tasks around the hospital.

 

Occasionally I have encountered visitors or patients crying in the hospital hallways.  The other day I saw a familiar face, a lady I have run into several times.  The very first time I saw her she asked for a hug.  Now she tells people I'm a good hugger.  This time she had tears.  Her husband is nearing the end of his life.  I listened.  I wish I could have done more.  Sometimes just quietly listening is helpful.  I saw her again a few hours later.  She was smiling,  Her husband was going home that day and the doctor had referred them to a hospice program.  I listened to her news and then we hugged again.

 

There are happy moments, like when someone is healed from injury or when a new baby is born, but all too often I meet people in times of personal crisis.  I try to help as best I can, but there are times when I don't think I have done enough.  We have a small gift shop that is staffed by volunteers.  Information is given to visitors at the front desk and at other locations by volunteers.  The other day a doctor stopped me in a hall just to say thanks.  He told me he is grateful for volunteers and all the things we do.  It's true that we do many tasks all around the hospital, but I really like being in the hallways, whether transporting a patient to be discharged, hearing a compliment from a physician, or giving a hug to a worried wife.

 

Hospitals can be difficult places, but I will keep volunteering.  I think volunteers make a difference.  It's not just what we give.  We also get such a good feeling back!

Surprise!

Even though this blog is NOT about me, today being my birthday (I won't say which one), it seems like I should surprise everyone and make an exception.  From time to time I do say a bit about myself, but rather than sharing pictures of my various activities and tales of the many events I take part in, the purpose here is to be uplifting and encouraging about doing good in the world and coming up with more and more ways to make a difference.  I prefer to be but a humble tool in the process and to save the spotlight for the real heroes who are making a difference every single day.

It being my birthday though, I would like to offer some thanks to all of you who read these words.  It really brightens my days to know that folks do actually end up on this page.  The clicker says that someone comes, but it doesn't tell me who you are or what you are thinking of course, so do feel free to leave some comments!  It also doesn't tell me if you actually read this stuff, so you comments will help with that too!  Oh and if anything I ever write actually motivates you to get out there and do something, you couldn't possibly have me a greater gift! 

Each year I raise funds for AIDS Walk San Francisco and for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Light the Night Walk and I want to give thanks for all the people who have sponsored me there too!  There are a few other organizations I want to mention, because they mean so much to me: Asian Americans Advancing Justice - Asian Law Caucus, San Francisco Community Health Center, and Transgender Law Center. Any gift to them would always be a marvelous thing!

I love surprises, so do feel free to surprise me any time by giving to someone else.  Surprise me with the best gift of all - love for others!

Be a blessing

We can all make a difference in the lives of those around us.  Let's get with it!  Don't hesitate!  Today will never come again.  We really shouldn't put things off.  Be a blessing.  Encourage others.  Be a friend.  Smile.  Share the love.  Take the time to care.  Make someone feel special.

Imagine how much good you can do just by caring!  Imagine.  It's doesn't need to take a lot of time.  It just takes an open heart.

During this summer, in the midst of a lot of bad news, we can still be a blessing to each other.  Things are never too bad for us to do good.  I won't sugar-coat it and say everything will be back to normal soon (although things have obviously improved from a year ago). great right away, but if we all pitch in and do good, we will see a difference. We might not ever see things the way they once were, but that does not mean things won't be good.  Let's make it so.

If every single one of us did something encouraging every day, the positive changes would be incredible!  Being a friend is one of the most powerful things we can ever do.  Starting off a brand-new month, let's all resolve to make this world a happier and healthier place in which to live.

Dr King said

We all know that The Rev Dr Martin Luther King, Jr was a very wise leader who is often quoted. I have certainly quoted his wise words here many times over the years.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."  It's one of his most quoted statements, and one of my favorites.  Truly this world can use more light and more love!  I really am sick and tired of all the hate, but like Dr King I believe things will get better if we all unite.

By the way, this is one of my favorite quotes of all time.  Think about it as you go through your day.  If you are a particular fan of Dr King, you might also like "Thou, Dear God": Prayers That Open Hearts and Spirits Collection of Dr. King's prayers. (2011), edited by Dr Lewis Baldwin.

Resuced!

Today it's going to be a story I have shared here before.  It's one of those tales that has circulated on the internet.  Is it true?  I have no idea.  The author is also unknown.  The message is powerful though, so read on!

Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the overworked shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them.

As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

She got down on her knees and made little kissy sounds at me. I shoved my shoulder and side of my head up against the bars to comfort her. Gentle fingertips caressed my neck; she was desperate for companionship. A tear fell down her cheek and I raised my paw to assure her that all would be well.

Soon my kennel door opened and her smile was so bright that I instantly jumped into her arms. I would promise to keep her safe. I would promise to always be by her side. I would promise to do everything I could to see that radiant smile and sparkle in her eyes.

I was so fortunate that she came down my corridor. So many more are out there who haven't walked the corridors. So many more to be saved. At least I could save one.

I rescued a human today.

Go ahead. Make my day.

Do you feel like changing the world? Maybe you'd like to give some gratitude? Show some love? Be nice? Thank someone? Make a difference? Bring a little joy? How about encouraging others? Celebrating life? Perhaps doing all of these? Go ahead. Make my day!  

You may be aware that in addition to what I write here each morning, I also write a blog about kindness. It's short. Sometimes it's just a sentence or two, but it encourages me to be a kinder person, and hopefully along the way it has encouraged some of you. Sometimes I simply list some random acts of kindness that you just might want to borrow. This morning, I decided to list a whole bunch of them here. Use them as often as you like!

Make a point of finding the name of a supermarket or drugstore employee and then praise him/her through that company’s corporate office.

Tell your boss that you think he/she does a good job.

Help folks stay connected during this pandemic by making frequent phone calls.

When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.

Send a gift anonymously to a friend.

Tell your parents/children why you love them.

Volunteer somewhere.

Share your smile generously.

Transport someone who can’t drive.

Make telephone calls in support of equality urging others to put aside hate.

Pay a compliment at least once a day.

Give public testimony about an important civic matter.

Go through your closets and find several nice items and then donate them to a shelter.

Give your full attention to someone in need and simply listen.

Say nice things randomly to facebook and twitter friends.

Buy small bottles of hand sanitizer and randomly hand them out to strangers on the street.

Clean graffiti from neighborhood walls and buildings.

Tell a bus or taxi driver how much you appreciate their driving.

Give another driver your parking spot.

If you prefer, please feel free to make up some of your own! You might want to even tell us about some ideas you have - they are most certainly welcome in the comments section below!

You want an award?

Those favorites who entertain us are rewarded with Tonys, Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, Golden Globes, and other recognition.  We give awards to our students in school.  Some jobs give special praise to employees.  How about the masses of society?  I think we need one more big award for those everyday people among us who truly make a difference in our world.

The architect who designed your workplace might have incredible skills, but does the general public hear about it?  How about your daughter's third grade teacher?  The person who served you those fries and burgers at your favorite fast food place might be incredible, but does he get acknowledged for it?  During this pandemic there are many people who are stepping up and doing amazing things, but are we hearing about them?

I love how some television stations do hometown heroes features, but I'm not talking about just those who rise to that level.  I'm thinking more of the "best waitress I have ever been served by" or the preeminent delivery driver or the unrivaled parking lot attendant.  There are people in this world who make a difference every day by simply being outstanding at the work they do and the way they interact with others.  Don't you think that is award worthy?

What's on your mind?

What is on your mine these days?  I sit down every single morning and write something here but seldom hear any comments or suggestions.  Perhaps nobody is reading this anymore.  

There is a lot happening in our world and on this Monday morning I see so many stories in the news that make me sad.  Bad things are happening all around.  There is still good reason to be happy, because the world is NOT all bad.  There are still good things and we still have heroes out there.

Help me brighten the world by sharing some of that good.  Tell us some of the positive experiences that you have recently had.  Tell us about the people in your life who are doing good things and helping to make this a better world.

On know there is a lot of good.  I'm certain of it!  Come on!  What's on your mind?

Is there anything more wonderful than a hug?

Let me ask you a question.  Is there anything more wonderful than a hug?  Two people put their arms around one another and closely hold each other.  Sometimes it's quick and sometimes each holds on a long time.  It feels good.  It gives you a sense of security.

 

Mom always loved hugging and she was especially happy when she met someone who was comfortable giving a nice big bear hug.  I guess I follow in her footsteps, because I sure love a nice big hug too!  Who doesn't?  A nice a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give you a big lift!

At the hospital where I volunteer, a woman said the other day "I could sure use a hug."  You should have seen the smile on her face when I turned around and gave her one!

 

I read once that a sincere hug that lasts longer than twenty seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of both the giver and receiver. Sorry, but I don't recall the source of that, but even if it isn't accurate, hugging feels good and who can argue with that?

summertime kindness

It's the middle of the summer. The days are hot. VERY hot in some places.  People are in a hurry to get to their vacation spots.  Along the way, some folks get a little short-tempered.  Many of us are frustrated by stories in the news.  In the midst of all of this, it really is a great time to practice some random acts of kindness!

Tell people in your life why you love them.  Make a point of finding the name of a store employee and then praise him or her through that company’s corporate office.  Pay for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through.  Bring flowers to work and share them with coworkers.  As you go about your day, pick up trash.  Donate blood.  When drivers try to merge into your lane, let them in with a wave and a smile.  Call or visit a homebound person.  Pay a compliment at least once a day.

 

These are just a few ideas.  Use your imagination.  The list really can be endless!  Summer of course isn't endless, and in a month or so, as summer winds down, let's let our kindness continue winding up!

Arizona sunrise

If you read this regularly, you know I haven't always lived in Arizona and I still have not gotten used to all the breathtaking views. Lovely images of nature's beauty seem to be just about anywhere you look. It's especially nice at this time of year watching the sun come up just as I finish my morning jog.

When you live in a big city, there's a different kind of beauty - sometimes it's manmade. I loved running past shop windows or urban parks at the start of day back in San Francisco. I can recall the lovely sights from my Upstate New York childhood too. It's everywhere. Enjoy the views that brighten our days.

One of the really cool things is that we don't all have the same view. Even within one town, there are going to be differences depending on which direction you are going or the street you are on. Trees might block part of your view, but look down and discover the flowers or look the other way and perhaps there are some birds. After living in the city most of my life, I was really surprised at the animal life I have discovered here, including all kinds of birds, all sizes of lizards, and cute hopping rabbits. (Oh and there are snakes too, but that's when I prefer to look the other way).

The Arizona sunrise was gorgeous this morning.  At this time of year the temperature is perfect too, so I just might go out and explore some more of the views! Have a wonderful day. Enjoy the scenery wherever you are.

what's your favorite day?

Tomorrow is the time of week we often refer to as Hump Day. For those working Monday through Friday jobs or those going to school each day, Wednesday falls right in the middle, so once we pass it, we are over the hump. Of course that would only be true if you hate your job. If you love it, you probably can't get enough.

Back in the 80s, the Canadian rock band Loverboy sang Everybody's working for the weekend. We would seem to be saying the same thing. Weekdays just aren't very nice!

Monday gets the most complaints. It is the day after the weekend of course. It's the day on which people go back to school or to work. People say they dread those Mondays.

So, what's your favorite day? I suppose many would choose Wednesday because of that hump thing (which has nothing to do with camels, except that they too have humps. How often can I post a picture of a camel here though)? Many are going to like Friday best because they are completing their week. Saturday or Sunday of course get high marks because that is what everyone is working toward. I submit though that if you are really hating those weekdays that much, something needs to change. Is your job or schoolwork really that unfulfilling? Do something about it!

Yesterday I had a great day, and it was a Monday! How about you? Was yesterday really all that bad? Think about it. Every single day of the week can be good. Let's work on making it that way. Perhaps a good start would be if we all tried to brighten the day of other people!

crumpled paper

You may recall this story. I've told it here before, but I really like it. It is a story that has been told and retold over the years. It's about a teacher who was telling her class about bullying and gave them an exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up, but not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they are sorry.

 

Okay, that may seem rather odd - talking to a piece of paper, but think of the deeper meaning here.  Sometimes a child who is bullied will later receive apologies, but the damage has already been done. In this exercise, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bully’s another child - they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever.

Bullying isn't just done by kids of course and it isn't somehow worse in some cases than in others.  ALL bullying is bad.  ALL bullying hurts and damages another person.  ALL bullying needs to stop.  We have heard a lot in recent years about the bullying of gay kids, but let me be clear. While gay kids are so often the targets of bullies, ALL bullying is bad. We need to get rid of it ALL.  Even when it comes from famous people or from elected officials.

I have been writing here for just over sixteen years and often speak out about bullying.  Have my words made a difference?  The kids in that classroom certainly learned an important lesson. The looks on the faces of the children told their teacher that the message had indeed hit home. I hope this hits home with all of you too.  What can we all do to help end the bullying?   

this month of August

Whether you enjoy the month of August or not depends largely on where you live, how old you are, and a number of other factors.  I know that many love it because of the vacations that so often take place this month.  I have personally always loved August because it is my birth month, but of course this is NOT about me. 

Is this a time when folks are likely to be doing those kind of inspiring things I like to write about here?  Well, indeed there may be a dip, but it doesn't have to be that way.  Doing good things should never take a holiday!

Be kind.  Do good.  Never give up.  Is it too hot?  Take good care of yourself.  Don't spend too much time in the sun and be sure to stay hydrated.  Enjoy this month of August and help others enjoy it too.